Chapter 49: Repercussions

The world paused while I sat in darkness.

Telling the kids mom was never coming home again was the hardest thing I had ever done, in either life. Apologizing to Jerry for not keeping my promise to keep his little girl safe was the second hardest. Putting a brave face on my grief as my step-sister, the Vice President of the United States, gave a moving eulogy before a crowded memorial service was almost trivial in comparison. I heard her words and accepted condolences from friends, acquaintances, employees and business partners, but none of them mattered. The only thing that reached me were the hand squeezes and hugs from Ali and Jer, as they tried to work through their own feelings of loss and suffering. They could almost understand what I felt.

The light of my life was gone.

“Paul,” Kelly said over the phone. “How are you doing?”

“One day at a time, Kelly. What’s happening in Washington?” It had been four days since the memorial service.

“Our ambassador to the UN will be introducing more sanctions against North Korea today. I don’t know if they’ll get past the security council or not, but I wanted to let you know we are on your side.”

North Korea had launched a ‘training’ flight of Mig-29 fighters at about the time Jeryl’s GOT had taken off from Milan. At the time, neither South Korean nor US forces took note of the flight beyond routine tracking. As the GOT began its re-entry over China, the flight had turned Northwest and begun climbing. Still well within North Korean airspace, no one had paid them much attention. As the GOT descended over the Yellow Sea and dropped into the sonic range of its operational envelope, the MIG’s had turned south and begun a supersonic dash. No warning had been given as they closed to within twenty miles of the GOT. Still in international airspace, they had launched a total of eight R-73 heat-seeking missiles. Six of the missiles had worked correctly, homing on the GOT at their Mach 2.5 operational speed. There was no targeting radar to warn the crew. Impact had occurred at 12,800 meters above sea level. Telemetry from the GOT had stopped seconds after the explosion as the airframe was ripped apart.

Thinking about the malicious planning that had gone into the attack and the pitiful response in the two weeks since, I was infuriated.

“I’ll make sure it gets through the security council. You make sure it is meaningful,” I said.

“What do you mean, Paul? What are you going to do?”

“I want that megalomaniac of a tin-pot dictator to pay for this. It was a pre-meditated act of war. If nations can’t see that, I can. Warn your boss to do something before I do.”

I hung up the phone.

“Tamara, get Lila on the phone,” I said. I was in the Park City offices. The kids had returned to school this morning and I could not bear the thought of sitting around the home Jeryl and I had built working or waiting for their return. It was my first day back.

“She’s about to land in Austin,” Tamara said. “I’ll have her call as soon as she can.”

“Good. I’ve got some other calls to make but let me know when she is on the line.”

“Will do, boss,” Tamara replied.

I looked at my contacts on my computer and found the number I needed next.

“Cindy speaking,” Cindy Xavier, head of generator production said as she answered her phone.

“Cindy, what is in the pipeline for Russia, China, Britain, France, and Iran?”

“I’ll have to take a look, but I think a couple dozen generators all-told. Why?”

“Notice them that we are putting a hold on all orders until further notice. They can contact me with questions.”

“Paul, six of them are already scheduled for installation.”

“I don’t care. Route them to whoever is next on the list.”

“Okay, you’re the boss.”

I hung up and dialed another number, this one within the US.

“Chairman’s office, Master Sargent Philips speaking. This is not a secure line.”

“Master Sargent, this is Paul Taylor. Could you deliver a message to General Baker for me?” I asked.

“Certainly, sir,” came the crisp reply.

“Please let him know that there will not be an auction next month. He’ll understand.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll make sure he gets the message. Sir, if it’s not out of place, I’d like to offer you my condolences.”

“Thank you, Master Sargent. I appreciate the thought.”

I ended the call.

“Lila’s on Line two, boss,” Tamara said as soon as my phone hit the cradle. I picked it back up and hit the button to connect.

“What’s up, Paul?” Lila asked as soon as I said hello.

“Work with Ian to shut down production in Austin. Make sure all material is delivered per last month’s auction, and then shut it down.”

Lila was quiet for a minute. “Temporary or permanent shut-down, Paul?”

“Temporary, for now. Send all staff, including Ian on a two-month paid leave of absence. Make sure security is tight even once it is shut down.”

“You know the Air Force is not going to be happy,” Lila said.

“I’ve already sent a note to General Baker,” I replied as I saw a number flash on my phone. “In fact, I think he is trying to call me back, now. Shut it down, Lila.”

“Okay, Paul.”

I hung up and took the other call.

“Paul, I just got your note. What is the problem?”

“The problem is a dictator in North Korea, general. In accordance with the company directive I established at the beginning of the Gulf War, I’m terminating production following an attack by a foreign country. If the regime that initiated the attack on my family is still in power in two months, I will be terminating the process for good.”

“Paul, be reasonable. This is a tragedy, of course and I can’t imagine your loss, but we need that material.”

“No, general. You want that material. Why should I make it when it is not being used to keep the world or my country safe? The GOT that was shot down was American flagged, unless you forget. I’ve been enabling our military capability for fifteen years. How has that capability made us safer?”

“Paul, I know you are in pain, but this is not reasonable.”

“General, I’ve worked with you for years. I have a lot of respect for you, but I’m done being reasonable as long as we let a murderer escape punishment just because he is the head of a country.”

“Paul...”

“This is not a discussion, General. I’ve told you the auction is off for next month, per my contract with the DoD. I will tell you now, that the December auction is off as well. The actions of the government will determine if there is ever another auction. In January, I will reconfigure my Austin production line for more commercially viable products.”

“Paul...”

I hung up the phone.

“Tamara, arrange calls with Minister Khalil, Ministers Sun and Chen, and whomever is their equivalent in Russia, France, and Great Britain,” I called out my open office door.

“Individual or together?”

“Individually, please.”

“I’ll get notes sent and get them set up. Any time?” she asked from my door.

“As soon as convenient for them. Don’t worry about my calendar. I’ll be up for those calls. Just get them booked.”

She frowned at me and then nodded.

“Terry, I’m not accepting your resignation,” I said as my head pilot stood before my desk.

“I failed that crew, Paul. As much as if I had been at the stick myself,” he said.

“How?”

“I trained them. They should have hit the accelerator as soon as they knew they were in trouble. They had power to spare and could have gotten out of the missile’s envelope if I’d done my job better.”

I looked him in the eye.

“You’ve seen all the telemetry. What warning did they have?”

He started to respond but I raised my hand.

“By your logic, it’s my fault. I could have put a Doppler radar set on the rear fuselage to give them some warning of a rear-approaching threat. We’re doing that now, but I could have done it sooner, if I’d been paranoid enough. It’s my fault, Terry, not yours.”

He shook his head.

“I’m the head pilot for you and designed all the training we put in place for the GOT pilots and crews. I must have missed something.”

I felt his pain. I had beaten myself up with the same thoughts for weeks.

“How is the ‘Tycho Brahe’ mission crew doing?” I asked.

The ‘Tycho Brahe’ was the name Team Luna had come up with for their OTV. Despite the political turmoil and the disruption the shoot-down had caused within the company, they had continued preparations for their flight. They were scheduled to depart Earth orbit in two days.

“They’re doing fine,” He said. I knew he had monitored their final simulator training that morning. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“You trained them, too.”

“But...”

I raised my hand again.

“Terry, if I let you go, I’m losing the best pilot in the fleet and our most experienced military aviator as well. We’ve fixed the design flaw in the GOT. Every one of them is getting threat receivers and ECCM systems for warning and protection. Who is going to ensure those capabilities are properly covered in our training plans if you leave? Will someone with less experience make our crews safer?”

I could see him trying to frame an argument.

“Look,” I said before he could argue. “If you’re afraid to step up to the challenge of making sure no one ever succeeds in taking another shot at us, I’ll let you go. Just tell me that is what you’re afraid of. Trust me, I won’t judge you. I’m terrified of missing something like this again.”

I thought I might have pushed him too far, as I saw the vein along his jaw throb. I waited for his response.

After a moment, he shook his head. “You are one tough son-of-a-bitch, Paul.”

I forced a chuckle. “If I thought for a minute you had any fault in this, Terry, you’d be out on your ass. You trained me, though, so I know you did nothing wrong. I’ve got it on pretty good authority that a shot would have been taken at the first opportunity. That just meant it was random chance that the first GOT into Seoul was that aircraft, crew and passengers.”

“So, what are we going to do about it?” He asked.

“I’ve been counseled to let the politicians have their chance. I’ve applied what pressure I can. Now, we have to wait.”

“I hate waiting.”

“So, do I. I’d much rather create alternatives while I’m waiting.”

He looked at me with an arched eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“I’d like to talk to you about some special flight profiles,” I said. “As well as testing some modification to a GOT. If the governments of the world aren’t effective in acting, I want some alternatives.”

“Whap! Whap!”

The sound of my training gloves hitting the leather of the heavy bag echoed in our home workout room. I tried to focus on keeping my wrists tight and punching into the bag. I’d been at it for hours, wishing the bag was a person; either the pilots who had fired on the GOT or the dictator who had ordered it.

“Whap! Whap!”

A motion caught my attention. Jer was standing by the doorway in his pajamas, watching me.

“Did I wake you, sport?” I asked as I stopped my footwork and settled the bag with a hand.

He shook his head.

I pulled off my gloves and went over to him, squatting put my eyes on his level. His were red from sleep or crying.

“I miss mommy,” he said softly.

“I miss her too,” I said as I pulled him into a hug. His sobs tore at my heart.

“Minister Sun, you can argue all you want,” I said into the speaker phone. “But at the end of the day, I’m the one selling the generators and the materials; and there is only one thing you can say that will convince me to sell. Tell me that the regime of Kim il-Sung has been removed from power and that the man that ordered the attack on my wife and friends is either dead or in prison for life.”

“Mister Taylor, the People’s Republic cannot turn its back on a neighboring power due to one unfortunate incident,” the Minister replied.

“Then you should start building expensive power plants, because you’ll get none from me.” I hung up the phone.

“Is this really the best course?” Hunter asked. “You’re threatening a lot of people and governments, Paul.”

I had held similar calls with the Russians.

“What else can I do? Don’t tell me to grieve and then move on. I’m going to show that fucker that he is not untouchable. If the world governments won’t police themselves, I’ll do it myself.”

“What do you mean, Paul?”

“We’ve got command of the high ground, Hunter. How about some orbital debris, like a Russian satellite landing on his Presidential Palace?”

Hunter looked at me, trying to judge if I was serious, I’m sure. “There is a risk of a lot of casualties in that kind of thinking, Paul, not to mention the potential to start the second Korean war. What would such a move do to you, or Kelly?”

He left hanging the thought that Jeryl would not have approved. His discretion probably saved our friendship.

“I can’t just let it go, Hunter. How would you feel if Lila had been on that flight?”

My friend looked at me and shook his head. “Probably just like you feel. Let’s give the governments some time to work before we take any drastic action.”

“You know I’m not very good with waiting, right?” I asked.

He nodded. “Do you want to review the mission to take your mind off it?”

“They’ve got it handled. Operations are all set to run out of Learmonth. Do you want to go over there to supervise?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I think I’ll stay close here. The team is trained, and we can always monitor from the new control center down in Park City.”

We had expanded our offices and established a monitoring station for orbital operations over the past few months. We now could run orbital operations from Australia, Ireland, Kenya, and Utah. We also had access to the Cape, Houston, and Edwards for US sponsored missions.

“How about we hop down to the lab? I think we can do some tuning on the Gen Six engine design.”

I shook my head. “I need to be here for the kids. I don’t want to pull them out of school. They need their friends.”

Hunter sighed. “Okay, but so do you. You can’t just hide away and throw verbal bombs at the world, Paul. I understand how you feel, but you can’t change what’s happened.”

His words struck home.

He obviously did not know what I had already changed.

“Despite increasing world tensions and political turmoil following the shoot-down of one of PT Innovation’s GOT transports, the company achieved its initial goal of returning to the moon,” Peter Jennings said from the television as some of our PR footage played. “The crew of the OTV-Tycho Brahe, a fusion powered orbital transfer vehicle, entered lunar orbit today at 10:00 A.M. Eastern time to begin their two-week survey mission. While conducting the most detailed survey of the moon to date, they will also carry out a host of other scientific trials in preparation for a full return to the moon next year.”

He paused as the image of Earthrise played on the screen.

“In more earthly news, another resolution has been passed in the UN demanding the surrender of Kim il-Sung and the officers involved in the ordering of the GOT shoot down. North Korea has denounced the resolutions. Russia, China, and the United States continue to apply diplomatic pressure in addition to the sanctions already in place. There has been continued speculation of military reprisals for the unwarranted attack on the civilian craft. The UN Security Council will be holding sessions this week to continue working on a member-binding resolution for the crisis. Let’s go now to Carlie Tasker reporting from Guam.”

The background shifted to an image of a B-1 bomber taking off from a tropical setting with a reporter standing to one side of the frame.

“Here in Guam, the US forces continue to launch regular air patrols toward North Korea. While the primary focus has been on enforcing the initial sanctions on the rogue state, forces are ready to defend themselves and retaliate at the first sign of provocation.”

The scene cut to a pair of F-15’s flying with white missiles evident below their wings. “US forces have been warned of potential threats in the air as well as on the sea and ground. One of the biggest threats from North Korea is their vast artillery forces who sit within striking distance of Seoul. Experts believe the B-1 bombers based here in Guam would target those forces at the first sign of aggression to protect the South Korean population.”

The scene cut again, this time to an aircraft carrier and its escorts tied up in Guam.

“Elements of the Seventh Fleet have been diverted from training exercises in Australia to the area to supplement forces based in Japan that have put to sea to assist in enforcing the blockade and Marine forces in Okinawa have been placed on alert.”

“How are you doing?” Kelly asked as she handed me a scotch.

“I’m wiped out,” I said. “Jer threw a fit when we got to the airport. He did not want to get on the GOT once he realized Jeryl had last flown on one. If Anna hadn’t been ready with a sedative, we’d either be back home or at the hospital. I’ve never seen him so worked up.”

“You have them seeing a counselor, don’t you?”

I nodded and took a sip of the 25-year-old Macallan.

“Jeryl’s aunt really helped me. Are you talking to the counselor as well?”

I shook my head and took another sip. The peaty iodine fire at the back of my throat kept me from saying anything.

“Paul, you made me take time to grieve. You need to as well.”

I looked at my step-sister, the Vice President of the United States, and remembered when she had helped keep Jeryl and I together in high-school. I shook my head.

“I’m not ready yet. I still think I’m going to wake up and hear her coming into the bedroom. I don’t know how to comfort the kids, or her parents, or her sisters, or her aunt, or her cousins. I’ve got everything else in the world, and I feel so empty.”

Kelly moved beside me and put an arm around my shoulders.

“I know what you are feeling, Paul. Believe me, I remember the days I wanted to scream at the world but instead buried myself in work. You forced me to change and pause; to take time and just feel. Now you need to force yourself. This is something you get through, not something you get over.”

“I’m lost, Kelly,” I admitted. “I had dreams and plans and they all feel like ashes in my mouth, now.”

Kelly patted my shoulder. “I know. I still think of all the things the three of us talked about and you made real. I think about the things Jeryl did with your support, and the what you did with hers. You realize the two of you have done more for our country in the last decade than the historians will ever give you credit for, right?”

“But I still couldn’t protect her,” I said before taking a convulsive swig of the scotch, reveling in the burn in my throat and stomach.

“Could you keep her from going to Milan for those fashion shows and meetings?” Kelly asked.

“No.” I had not even thought to try.

“Could you keep her from coming to Seoul to help in the negotiations with China?”

I shook my head. I had wanted her at my side for those conversations.

“So, she was doing what she wanted, and you were supporting her dreams as much as your own. You have to at least acknowledge that, Paul. You did not force her onto that plane. You did not force her to join you. She was doing what she believed in, and what she wanted to do.”

“And some ego-maniacal bastard ordered her to die for no reason,” I said bitterly.

Kelly gave me a one-armed hug and then stood and went to her desk. We were in her private office at the Naval Observatory. The kids were sleeping, and Mom and Dad were to arrive in another hour or so. We did not have much to celebrate but coming here seemed like a better plan than going to any of the places we had previously celebrated Thanksgiving.

Kelly picked up a red file with Top Secret stamps on it.

“Paul, would you like to see this?” she asked from across the room.

I shook my head. “I doubt I have a ‘need to know’,” I said.

“I’ll decide that. I’ve already discussed it with Al. This report has some SCI data in it. Kim il-Sung was going to shoot down the first GOT that neared Korean airspace. It documents the rhetoric of his internal conversations. After the fact, we had all the indicators we needed. We just could not fathom such evil intent. His limited exports of coal to China were at risk if you improved power production. He was feeling the economic pinch already and you were still barely penetrating the Chinese market. He is already facing severe famine due to mismanagement of production in the face of floods and drought. Internally, he needed an external threat or victory to cement his leadership. We have the proof of why. We can tie the plan to him and a cadre of military planners. We’re working on how to sanitize the information to a point we can share it with the Chinese and Russians to ensure they follow through with the sanctions.”

I looked at her. She obviously had more to say.

“Our forces are moving in place. We’re still solidifying our political front, but we are taking action. If that idiot so much as sneezes across the border, we’ll strike. I’ve seen the ROE and some of the planning. I want you to know that.”

I nodded.

“But none of that matters, Paul. No matter what we do, she is not coming back.”

Her words cut me to the core.

“I know that sounds cruel,” Kelly continued. “But you need to hear it. I needed to hear it when Matthew died. I didn’t want to hear it, say it, or think it, but I needed to. You do, too, Paul.”

I struggled to keep a sob from escaping my lips. Intellectually, I knew Jeryl was gone from me forever. Emotionally, I did not want to admit it.

Kelly watched me from across the room, stoically.

“What do you want me to say?” I asked tightly, gripping the glass hard enough to expect it to break.

“I want you to say what you feel, Paul. I love you. I love your kids. You love them as well, and you loved Jeryl. Let your feelings out. Let your kids know it’s alright to feel sad and miss her, but you have to acknowledge she is gone. It’s the first step to working through this.”

I felt tears on my cheeks as the room blurred.

“I’m lost,” I said with a shudder. “I don’t know what to do anymore,” I admitted.

Kelly cross the room in a few steps and hugged me again.

“You’re not lost, Paul. Your friends and family are nearby. Your kids are here. Let us all help carry a small part of your burden. Trust me, it’s the only way through this for you and Ali and Jer.”

For the first time in weeks, I cried. For a heartbeat, I let myself believe I was not alone, and I hated myself for thinking it.

“Daddy, can I ask you a question?” Ali said as she sat down beside me on the family room couch.

“Of course, you can, honey,” I said.

“Can I learn to fly?”

Her question caught me totally off guard.

“Why do you want to?” I asked.

“I told Aunt Helen about Jer on the plane,” she said simply.

After his fear and loathing of flying out to Washington DC, we had taken a sleeper train home the week after Thanksgiving. The kids had thought it was a grand adventure, even if it did take much longer to travel.

“And what did she say?” I asked.

“She told me that when we fear something, it is important to face our fears and not let them rule us. She explained that Jer thought of flying as the reason Mommy died, even though it was just what she was doing when she died.” She paused to see if I was following her. I nodded.

“I admitted I was a little afraid when we took off and landed, but not as much of a baby as Jer.”

“He’s hardly a baby,” I said. He had turned eight just before our trip.

“Well, he kind of acted like one. I told him that, too,” she said defiantly. “Anyway, I thought about what Aunt Helen said. I think the thing that scared me was I didn’t know exactly what was going on. The first time I went sailing with you, I was afraid, too. Then you taught me how to sail, and I wasn’t afraid. I want to do the same thing with planes.”

I was impressed by her thinking. She was three months shy of turning ten.

“So, you want to learn to fly?” I asked.

She nodded.

“It’s a long process, with a lot of classroom work. Are you ready to do all that?”

She nodded again.

“I’ll talk to Terry, our best pilot, and see what he says. He might want to talk to you before we decide.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she said before giving me a big hug. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, pumpkin.”

November drifted to December and we all continued to adjust to a life without Jeryl or Alison or little Rose in it. Lila and Hunter had moved into Alison’s place next door to us at Deer Valley since it was company owned anyway. The kids finished school for the Christmas break and we drove down to the lab for a few days of relaxing in the warmer desert.

Mike Keller, who now oversaw security at the lab, fixed us up with some camping gear and I took the kids into the scrub-oak and sage covered hills for a camping trip. It was something we had never done before. Helen had suggested we begin making some new memories, rather than going to the same places we had previously visited.

I had started regular calls with her after Ali shared her conversation with me. She was planning on coming out after the New Year to spend a little time with Jer. She was bringing Samuel, Trisha and Richard’s youngest son with her. Jer was excited for the first time in months. I prayed the kids were turning a corner. Of course, I knew I would not move on anytime soon.

We returned to Park City amid fresh snowfall and were then snowed in by an early season blizzard. We got dug out just in time for our holiday guests to arrive. Ali was excited to see Jane again and ran out the door without a jacket as soon as Nicole pulled up in the Range Rover she had picked them up in.

“Ali!” Jane yelled as she hopped out of the car and embraced her friend. I grabbed Ali’s coat and headed outside to greet our guests.

Camilla was on Jane’s heels and wrapped me up in a hug as soon as I was close. “Paul, we’re so sorry for your loss,” she said. I felt her tears on my cheek and fought back my own.

“Thanks, Camilla,” I managed to say. “It’s good to see you all again.”

She snorted and wiped her cheeks as Bluey moved beside her and patted my shoulder.

“How are you doing, mate?” he asked.

“Hanging in there,” I replied. “Ali, here’s your coat,” I said as she and Jane finally parted.

Chrissy came around the car and I nearly dropped it. As soon as her mother was out of the way, she wrapped me in a hug.

“Paul, I’m so sorry. Jeryl was like the best big-sister I could ever imagine. I’m so sorry,” she said as I tried not stare at her. She had matured in the past year, filling out some more, but in all the right places. Her blonde hair was pulled into a pony-tail but fell to the middle of her back. Even in a heavy goose down coat, she molded herself to me.

I wiped away her tears, surprised that I needed to comfort her. “Thank you, Chrissy. She was incredibly fond of you, too.” I gave her a quick squeeze and then moved to help grab bags.

“Let’s get you southerners out of the cold,” I said with a forced laugh.

Soon we were all inside and our guests were settled. Jane was staying with Ali, of course. Bluey and Camilla were in one of the guest rooms, and Chrissy had opted for the bunk room, where she had stayed last year. The kids were outside playing in the snow while I poured Camilla and Bluey a drink and joined them in our living room.

“I can certainly appreciate some of Chrissy’s stories now,” Camilla said as she looked at the snow-covered mountains outside. “This is a beautiful house.”

“Thank you.”

“And it looks like you put on plenty of snow for us,” Bluey added.

“Well, I wanted to make sure you guys could get some good skiing in while you’re here.”

“Of that, I’m sure,” Bluey said. “Jane and Chrissy have been talking up a storm about it. We’ll need to go get gear rented in the morning,” he said.

“No need. I’ve got rental gear coming up in an hour or so. They’ll bring everything you need and make sure it all fits before they leave. We’ve also already got your lift tickets, and I’ve arranged for a private instructor for you tomorrow at nine, just to make sure you’re comfortable in our snow.”

Camilla laughed. “There go all of your excuses for not skiing tomorrow, Bluey,” she teased. “I think they were really excuses to sit at the lodge and drink a few pints tomorrow.”

“Well, we can do that as well,” I said. “Or we can just do it here. The nice thing about skiing here is there is no pressure. I’ve gone out and done two runs and then called it a day before. I’ve also skied from the first lift chair until the last. You guys can go as hard or as easy as you want and then come back here to relax and enjoy the scenery. We’re really pretty low-key.”

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