Chapter 7

"Sir, can I speak freely?" Captain Jane Appet spoke through clenched teeth, staring across the desk at the commander of Orbital Academy.

"Permission denied," General Auspus replied cooly. His fingers flicked across the screen he held, comparing it to a page of notes on his desk, the picture of distracted business.

"Yes sir," Jane turned and walked toward the door, fuming, mind spinning.

"This is why I like you Captain Appet," the General's voice stopped her at the door, "any other person to ask that question would give me a piece of their mind regardless of my answer. Of course that means, ironically, that I am far more willing to listen to your rants than theirs. Yes you may speak freely."

"This is stupid, dangerous, reckless and entirely ill-advised," the General's compliment barely registered in Jane's mind as she turned back to him, "my squad is an excellent rookie team, but there's no way it's responsible to send them on a full planetary run!"

"I must admit I'm surprised to hear you say that," the General smiled wryly at his screen as he spoke, "you spoke so adamantly at the last meeting. About the abilities of your rookies, about the need for the orbital to stop coddling first years, about how we faced a threat that would need a strong crop of pilots."

"That was when they were going to be fighting a flamer Drake, this is entirely different!"

"I see it simply as a natural progression Captain Appet. Your team is the model by which other rookie squads are measured, but right now everyone else is catching up. After the excellent way they handled the exothermic Drake, the next step is to get them experience with a planetary run."

"Two of my squad almost died handling that Drake!"

"Captain Appet," the General set aside his screen and turned to Jane for the first time. Even after a decade serving under him Jane wasn't used to the look of utter control in General Auspus' face. The age and wisdom of seventy years stared at her from a face that didn't look a day past twenty. He was usually so level-headed that it was easy to forget he could stare her down in a heartbeat.

"Orbital Academy's pilots 'almost die' on every single mission they undertake," he continued, his attention fully on her, "we have an incredibly dangerous occupation, without question the most dangerous of any of the orbitals. The brave men and women who are here on this orbital have volunteered their lives towards the goal of keeping the entire orbit safe, and they have done so with the full knowledge that they place their lives at risk. To prevent the exceptional rookies in your squad from engaging in a mission because they might get hurt is a disrespect I refuse to show them. That is all, you are dismissed."

Jane stared at the General. His words left her feeling cowed and immature, but she couldn't shake the feeling that it was somehow ... wrong.

"You're putting these kids in way more danger than they can handle General Auspus ... how can you not see that?"

"Captain Appet, I said you are dismissed."

She left the room in a daze, head spinning, wondering how she would break it to her squad.

"This is so awesome!"

"I knew we impressed them with the Drake"

"I wonder if they'll let us substitute this mission for our Pilot-level test?"

"Does this make us the first Rookie-level squad to go on a planetary?"

Jane stared at her nine rookies. Their reactions were doing nothing to help the feeling of disorientation that had been following her since her meeting with the General. This is not how any of it was supposed to happen, she thought vaguely, watching them chatter excitedly at the news.

"You don't seem very excited Captain," Jackson noted perceptively. The others slowly settled as Jane tried to collect her thoughts.

"It's ... it's just a somewhat dangerous and difficult task, that's all..." she stammered. No, that's no good, I can't slip back into the weakling captain I used to be. Before this year Jane had spent a good portion of her time hating herself; with this squad things had been different. Better. She was proud of her rookies, proud of herself, and she would be damned if she changed back, even if the world felt as if it were turning upside-down.

What would the other Captain Appet say, the one that keeps them respectful and skillful and amazing?

" ... and it's about time we have you Rooks exposed to some real challenge. So, first things' first, you all probably have some incorrect ideas about what's involved in a planetary run. We should clear up some misconceptions. Meet me in the lower ring conference room in ten minutes, and I'll give our first briefing as a squad." The ten minutes would give her time to collect her thoughts, and she could tell from the bright faces that most of them were excited about the prospect of a real mission briefing. Preston and Missy didn't seem as enthusiastic, but Jane didn't let herself dwell on the fact, instead turning and leaving the barracks with head high.

The room was dark, and Jane sat at one end of the table, head resting on her arms. Why would the General send these rookies on a planetary? He was nervous about letting them deal with the Drake, what changed his mind? She snapped into an upright position as the rookies began filing in, thumbing the lights up to an acceptable level.

"Alright Rooks, best to go ahead and lay it on me. What insane rumors are people spreading about planetary runs that I need to correct?" Jane had a pit in her stomach as she spoke, letting her gaze travel across the squad as they sat. She felt strangely guilty, as if she had no business talking to them and pretending nothing was wrong.

Julia raised her hand, and Jane stopped herself from rolling her eyes.

"For the last time, Julia, you're not in Pre-Academy anymore. Stop raising your hand."

"I've heard that the atmosphere on the planet is so thick that you can't breath or fly a cruiser through it," Julia lowered her hand and spoke in a rush.

"Partially true. The fog that you see surrounding the planet is toxic, but it only goes down to within a hundred or so feet of the planet's surface. Some of the higher hills can be dangerous, but you can breath on most of the ground. If a cruiser couldn't take off how do you think people would get back from planetaries?"

"Just what I've heard," Julia mumbled, face falling. Jane softened.

"It's alright. Back in my rookie year there was a rumor that the fog would eat away at our suits like acid..." Of course we would have years to learn the truth about the planet before we were sent down there " ... but anyways. We should probably go over this from the beginning."

The screens blinked to life, and Jane forced the doubts and reservations down into a hard pit in her stomach, pulling the image of the strict Captain around her like a protective shield.

"A planetary run consists of two teams. The first team will be in a satellite recon skiff, a 'satflyer', about ninety feet above the surface, just below the fog. The second team will be on the ground, set up in a temporary bunker. The satflyer team will be relaying information, giving forward warning of dangers, and general topological data. More importantly, they'll provide relay extenders for the ground team, boosting their range. The ground team will be controlling a squadron of drones; the same drones you've been training with for the last three months. The drones will navigate to coordinates provided by the air team, collect resources, and destroy the nests."

Even through the worry in her chest, Jane felt a bit of pride. Her students were all bent over, focusing on the diagrams in front of them. Focused, attentive, alert.

"Who's on the different teams?" Jackson asked, leaning back and folding his arms.

"Li, Aimee, Missy, and Jackson, you'll all be on the ground since you've got the best handle on drone control." Jane was grateful for Jackson's nudging; she was finding it hard to focus on the briefing, "I'll be with you on the ground. Marcus, Julia, and Tess will be up in the satflyer, due mostly to their tech, nav, and diagnostic scores. Preston, Alex, you'll also be up there, manning the satflyer's weapons."

A chill ran through the room at the mention of weapons. Jane could see them all thinking the question, but it took a moment before one of them actually spoke it.

"Captain Appet..." Aimee's voice was quiet, somber, "why will we need weapons? Everyone says planetaries are dangerous, but ... I've never heard anyone talk about why. This seems ... really simple. Just in and out with drones. I don't see what makes it so tricky, is that just me?" She looked up and down the table, but her squadmates were also shaking their head.

Jane took a deep breath. It was the moment of truth; they had to know the full story.

"On the smoothest planetaries, it is as simple as in-and-out. Unfortunately, they rarely go smoothly. There are going to be several obstacles that we can expect." She kept her voice dispassionate as she spoke, careful not to allow any emotion or quiver into it.

"The reason we schedule planetary runs right after Drake attacks is so that we are assured of not running into one on the mission. Drakes are dangerous out of atmosphere, on the planet they are capable of shredding us within minutes. Now that the Drakes are attacking off-schedule, we might not be guaranteed to avoid them on this run." Jane watched the rookies closely as she spoke, paying special attention to Julia and Tess as she mentioned the Drakes. They both seemed sober, but not panicked, so she continued. "The smaller flying creatures though, those will most likely sniff us out before the mission is done. In every case where a flyer has reached a satellite without being shot down, one or more members of our entire air team has been killed. Don't let them get reach you."

Jane's mental wall faltered for a moment, remembering how it had sounded. The screams had only filled the radio for a few seconds before she had shut it off. In her memory they had lasted for ten years.

"Ahem," she cleared her throat, uncomfortably aware of the nine pairs of eyes on her, "it usually takes five to ten hours for the Terrans on the planet to locate the ground team. Usually the air team should be able to give enough advance warning to pull the drones back and pack them up. If not, the temp bunker has fuel and supplies enough to fire up into orbit to be picked up by an orbital rescue team, and the drones will self-destruct. We know very little about Terran weapon technology. Mostly because anyone who has encountered it has died. Data from the air groups indicates that it's either much better than ours, or the Terrans are much better at using them."

Silence stretched through the room. The rookies' enthusiasm had deadened into a serious quiet.

"How often is there an injury during a planetary run Captain?" Missy asked quietly.

Jane had to clear her throat twice before answering.

"Typically there are no injuries incurred on a planetary run. Those who sustain injuries of any kind are usually lost soon afterwards," Jane stared resolutely at the screen in front of her, refusing to meet any of her rookies' eyes but knowing she couldn't sidestep the question, "typically runs are made up of nine lieutenant-level and a captain level. There's a reason there are so few captains as opposed to rookie and pilot levels. We tend to ... to lose a large portion of our lieutenants to planetary runs."

She couldn't bear to look at any of them, to see the same question in their eyes as she had in her mind; why us?

"It's a testament to how confident the General is in our abilities as a squad," Jane lied. Okay, that didn't sound convincing even to me. If I'm going to keep my new reputation, I need to get out of here.

"I've uploaded a list of resources you'll all need to your personal screens, as well as a detailed breakdown of team duties. It will take us roughly a week to get the temp bunker and the satflyer ready to launch. In the meantime your other duties will be completely suspended." She let herself briefly scan the rookies' faces, to make sure they didn't think she was giving them a vacation. The assembled squad was focused, intent. Jane didn't have to tell them to spend the time focusing on training their individual job descriptions; their faces told her it wouldn't even occur to them to slack off. She nodded once to herself, and left the conference room. There wasn't anything more to say.

Jane found herself wandering through the halls of the academy, running a hand along the polished cold walls and headed nowhere in particular. Lost in her own mind, she barely noticed the world around her; perhaps that's why her feet led her along a path that had been ingrained into her subconscious, never quite forgotten no matter how long it had been. When she arrived at the door to the Flying Mettle she looked up, surprised, as if she was waking up from a dream. She hesitated, but after a moment she shrugged and activated the door. What better way to forget about all of this for a few hours?

The warm air and the noise hit her at the same time as she stepped into the well lit bar; the body heat and murmured conversation of fifty people that filled the room. Scent synthesizers worked in each corner to deodorize and sanitize the smells of human and alcohol, replacing them with something non-offensive: as Jane walked over to the bar she caught a hint of oak. Same as ever.

Jane was already feeling better, and she hadn't even had a drink yet. For anyone living their lives on the perpetually cold orbital, the warmth of the room was a treat enough by itself, and the murmur of friendly chatter made her feel safe and comforted. I've always loved this place, she mused idly, waiting for the bartender to get to her, Why don't I come down here more often? Her eyes wandered across the clientele, different ranks, different professions, all gathered and drinking, smoking and laughing together. It reminded her of older times, times when it was easier to smile and laugh, sitting at the old table in the corner with the old group. As if drawn by the memories her gaze roved to the table in the corner ... and there they all sat, as if they had never left.

"What can I get you miss?" The bartender's question was barely enough to break her out of her reverie. Sure they were all older now, some a bit pudgier, some with unexpected speckles of grey in their hair, but the way they were laughing and smiling was exactly the same.

"Nothing, thank you," Jane took a breath that hitched in the middle, watching them sitting there, and her answer to the barkeeper was quiet, "I was just leaving." For a moment, just a moment, she let herself pretend that things were how they used to be. She let herself pretend that she was about to walk over to join them, and they would all grin and budge around to make room for her, and they would talk and joke. She let herself pretend that Patrick would be joining them.

"Sorry for the trouble," Jane's voice caught, but the bartender simply shrugged and turned to the man behind her.

"An' what about you?"

Jane turned to leave, tearing her eyes away from the table as if by force, head bowed to keep tears from forming in her eyes. A tug stopped her suddenly. The man standing just behind her had her by the arm, his grip gentle but firm.

"I'll have what she's having, and she's having a plat-shot with ice," Jane didn't need to look up to identify the mellow voice.

"Evening Professor," she smiled in spite of herself.

Arthur Proferton returned her smile and then some. His grin was so wide it seemed to take up his entire face. As soon as he saw that she recognized him he let go of his grip, turning it seamlessly into a friendly hand on her shoulder.

"Go ahead to the table," he spoke lightly, as if it had been nine days instead of nine years since they had last spoken, "I'll bring the drinks when they're ready." A strange feeling was building in the pit of Jane's stomach, half excited fluttering and half sick dread.

"I would absolutely love to Prof, but I'm afraid I'm on a date," she lied smoothly, extracting her arm from his light touch, "but it was wonderful seeing you!"

"Mmm," Arthur nodded thoughtfully, "makes sense why you were leaving then."

"We're ... um..." Jane blushed, "we're actually on the date somewhere else, I just stopped in here to get us drinks," she tried to save herself, realizing her mistake even as she stammered.

"That's why you left without them. Makes sense, makes sense."

"Well no, they didn't have the kind of drinks he likes so-"

"Jane," Arthur said kindly, taking the small tray offered from the bartender, "even if you could lie worth a damn, you know you couldn't lie to me." He tapped his temple with a smile, and Jane thought she could hear the soft purr of the CPU in his head.

"You know I fucking hate that thing right?" Jane lapsed into honesty with a growl, "it's unfair and I hate it. I always have." Arthur laughed aloud.

"Of course I know," he chuckled, "you hate not being able to hide. You hate that I can read off your expressions to tell what's really going on in that secretive, closed off mind of yours. But I think most of all you hate that I know just how to make you forgive my sorry ass." He reached forward and flicked her earlobe with a grin, and just like that it was as if no time had passed between them, like he was the same mischievous and boyish friend who she couldn't bear to be angry with.

"Fuckin' chip-head," Jane tried hard to keep from smiling, but she knew it was useless. Even knowing that his enhancements made it trivial for him to pick up on social cues, more than even the most perceptive of normal people, she still found it hard to resist his charm. She barely noticed his hand resting lightly on her shoulder again until he began lightly guiding her towards the corner table.

"Seriously Prof, I really just want to be alone right now," Jane protested, even though she knew his chip would pick up on the lie as easily as she had spoken it.

"Bullshit again. Something's hurting you Jane," Arthur grew serious, "hurting you enough to come here even though you knew you'd find us here, even though you're worried being around us will hurt worse. But we can help, I promise you."

"I'm going to need about five more of those," Jane called over her shoulder to the bartender, but she reluctantly allowed herself to be led.

The table's chatter faded when they reached it, and Jane's stomach did a flip. They were all there; Lily, Acren, Jack-pip and Center, along with another man she didn't recognize. Their expressions ranged from shock to pleased surprise, expressions on faces so familiar it was as if she had been kicked in the throat with nostalgia. Jane managed to keep from staring as the one she didn't recognize spoke,

"Hey Professor, we were wondering if you'd gotten lost," he said jovially, "who's your friend?"

"Oh you've definitely heard of my friend Sam," just as she had fantasized, the group budged over good naturedly to make room for Jane as Arthur introduced her, "may I present the long-absent and much-missed, Miss Jane Cripshaw."

"Appet," Jane mumbled, as she slid into the booth next to Jack-pip, "it's Captain Jane Appet now."

The mood at the table shifted almost imperceptibly.

"You took his name," Lily murmured. Jane looked down at her drink to avoid the woman's gaze. Whatever was there ... pity, sympathy, anger, Jane didn't want to see it.

"Alright," Arthur broke the small silence, "we're not going to pretend we aren't thinking about him, so I'm going to make a toast. But then we're all going to talk and laugh and have a good time, like we used to, because we all know that's how he liked it."

Jane was grateful to him. The mods may have let him see that it needed to happen, but that didn't make the gesture any less genuine. Arthur raised his glass, and the rest at the table followed suit.

"To Patrick Appet. Hell of a pilot, hell of a friend, hell of a lover, or so he liked to say. Hell of a man."

"Patrick Appet," Jane and the other five repeated. The emotion they filled the two words with caught her by surprise. There was a fervor there still, even after so long; the toast hadn't just been for her, they all still felt the loss. The knot in Jane's stomach loosened by the tiniest fraction, and for the first time all day she felt just a little bit better.

"A captain now huh? Finally started fucking the right people I see," Center slipped easily into the friendly ribbing with his typical inappropriate candor, and Jane felt better still.

"Took me long enough, didn't it?" She joked back with a half smile, "I suppose if you try enough people you're bound to find the right one eventually."

"But the wrong ones are so much more fun," Lily winked, and just like that, they were all back together again, just like in the old days.

When the bartender brought her tray of drinks around, Jane distributed them among the table to grins and cheers. The alcohol was loosening the worry in her shoulders a little, and the camaraderie that slipped back around her so easily was loosening it even more. She pulled her personal screen out and tapped out a few lines, setting them to send automatically later, then leaned back to enjoy the night. The banter and childish jokes, the sudden topic changes and the rapidfire teasing seemed to pull her out of time. Sure it was slightly different; she didn't know some of the inside jokes, and sometimes they had to backtrack in the conversation to fill her in on this detail or that, but as the hours passed Jane felt more at home than she had in many long years.