Chapter 17: A Letter from Nebraska

Mike was happy to have Ruthie accompany him on the trip to Davenport, but as they neared the university, Ruthie's mood deteriorated. She had planned to study for several finals over Thanksgiving break, but she had neither the time nor the desire to concentrate on course material. She had been dragged to her mother's church for hours on both Saturday and Sunday, and dealing with her mother's version of the Mega-Mart stampede did not give her much of a chance to deal with her own trauma. Now that she finally was sitting alone with Mike and quietly watching through the window of his car, she had the chance to have some thoughts to herself.

When they returned to campus, Mike was so enthused about Ruthie's request to wear an anti-Mega-Town t-shirt that he insisted on first stopping by the office of the Danubian Solidarity Committee to get her a couple of shirts. He knew that Ruthie really took a size small, but because she hated tight-fitting clothing she wanted mediums. He handed her two shirts and dropped a $ 20 bill in the group's cash box. Without saying anything, Ruthie changed her top. The sight of her body, for a moment completely naked above the waist, filled him with desire, but she ignored him. Once she was changed, he locked the office.

Shannon had not yet returned, so Ruthie decided to spend the evening studying in her own room. Mike was hugely disappointed at the thought of having to return to his room alone, but his girlfriend was in an unpleasant mood and he knew that night would be a very bad time to approach her about sex. Maybe it was just as well, because he had to his own term paper to work on. He kissed her goodnight and went back to his own dorm.

Ruthie locked the door, took off all of her clothing, and lay down on her bed to study. It took a while, but finally she was able to push the trauma of the Mega-Mart panic to the back of her mind and concentrate on studying and taking notes.

She studied peacefully for about three hours. At 10:00 she heard a loud thump, followed by a fist banging on the door. She scrambled to put on her shorts and her new Mega-Town t-shirt.

"Come-on, open the piece of shit up!"

Ruthie opened the dead-bolt. Shannon came storming in and thrust her finger into her roommate's face.

"Look you stupid bitch! How many times have I told you not to lock the fucking dead-bolt? How many fucking times?"

"Well you weren't here ... and if I'm gonna be here by myself I'm gonna lock the door. That's what they told us to do in orientation..."

"Why? What for? Like anyone would want to fuck your ugly ass? Please ... give me a fucking break!"

Ruthie was about to do something that she had not done all semester, stand up to Shannon. Her traumatic weekend, coupled with the confidence her time with Mike had given her over the past several weeks, had focused her enough that for once she was not numbed with depression. She responded:

"Look, Shannon! We're supposed to lock our doors! It's in the safety handbook and if you don't like it, then take it up with Crystal!" (Crystal was the name of the floor Resident Advisor)

"I'm not taking shit up with Crystal! That's none of her business! You leave the fucking door unlocked or you and me are gonna have trouble!"

Ruthie locked the door.

"Take it up with Crystal! I'm just following the rule! If you don't like it, take it up with her!"

"You fucking bitch!"

Shannon pushed Ruthie out of the way and unlocked the door. Ruthie slipped back and re-locked it. Shannon, who was suffering from a hangover and in a foul mood, was incensed that her pathetic nerd roommate was "giving her shit". She laid a fearsome slap across Ruthie's face and unlocked the door. For a moment Ruthie was too stunned to react, but then she did exactly what she needed to do. She did not try to retaliate, but instead left the room to find Crystal and report the incident. Shannon yelled after her:

"Yeah, that's right, you little cry-baby! Go tell the RA!"

Fortunately Crystal was in her room. When she opened the door, Ruthie had a red handprint on her face. There was no denying the incident because the physical evidence was clearly there. Crystal took the matter seriously, not because she had any sympathy for Ruthie, but because Shannon had given her plenty of trouble throughout the semester and she was among the residents the RA most hated.

Crystal accompanied Ruthie back to her room to confront Shannon. Ruthie's roommate did not deny hitting Ruthie, but claimed that Ruthie "started it by giving me a bunch of shit" and that she had pushed her first. Ruthie indignantly denied pushing Shannon, but both roommates agreed that the fight had started over whether or not the door should be locked. The dispute over the lock put Ruthie at an advantage because she was following campus policy and Shannon was hassling her for it. Crystal admonished Shannon for hitting her roommate, because any physical intimidation in the dorms was strictly against campus policy and was cause for expulsion from the dorm system. Ruthie's hopes rose that perhaps Shannon had crossed a line with her behavior and might get kicked out. Shannon realized that as well, and suddenly backed down, at least in front of Crystal. However, she gave Ruthie a very nasty look, letting her know that the matter definitely was not settled.

Ruthie clearly understood that Shannon had every intention of retaliating. Having gone as far as she had, she knew that there would be hell to pay the moment she and Shannon were alone ... so she would have to see to it that she never was alone with her roommate again. She flatly stated that she wanted to call the campus police and file charges for assault, and that she wanted to move out of the room immediately. The anger from being mistreated an entire semester suddenly exploded. Ruthie shouted, "I want this bitch arrested! I've had it with her! I've had it with her shit! She hit me and I want her in jail!"

Crystal told Ruthie to calm down, or else she'd be written up as well. She realized that the simmering crisis between the two roommates had exploded and there was no way there was going to be any quiet resolution. Anyhow, the RA had been looking for a good reason to formally reprimand Shannon: obviously hitting her roommate was about as good a reason as she could get.

The fight quickly got worse when Shannon's friends came out of their rooms and took her side against Ruthie and the RA. They insulted Ruthie and berated Crystal for forcing Shannon to put up with such a creep all semester. Crystal realized that she had just set herself up against an entire clique of floor residents, but fortunately once she took a position, she stuck with it. She told everyone that the fight between Ruthie and Shannon had nothing to do with them, and they had no business coming out into the hallway just to threaten her and insult Ruthie. When Shannon's friends refused to go back to their rooms, Crystal held out her clipboard and started writing down names.

"That's fine! I'll just write all of you up! If you think I'm gonna take any shit, you are wrong!"

Shannon's friends knew better than to openly confront the RA, so they retreated to one of their rooms. It was clear that Shannon was furious when they left her, but it didn't matter because she would get even with Ruthie the moment the RA was out of sight. Ruthie realized that as well. She asked Crystal for permission to get her cell phone.

"Why?"

"I'm calling my boyfriend. I'm getting my stuff out of that room!"

"You can't. The semester's not over."

"Crystal, I don't feel safe in that room anymore! I'm getting out! I can't deal with Shannon! If I have to sleep in the Geology building that's fine, but I'm moving out ... now!"

Crystal had to make a quick decision, whether or not Ruthie was "authorized" to move out of her room. She had been warned against allowing students to change rooms for fear that would set a precedent and undermine the dorm's assignments. However, both the RA and the university could face legal action if she forced Ruthie back into that room with Shannon and she got beat up. She decided it would be better to let the resident take out her stuff. She called the dorm director, and when he did not pick up, she made another snap decision, to let her resident take a vacant room on the building's top floor.

"Get your boyfriend then. Room 508 doesn't have anyone in it right now. You can take your stuff up there and sleep there tonight."

When she saw the happy look in Ruthie's eyes, the RA added:

"Don't get too excited. You're not changing to that room. I'm just gonna separate you two so we don't have any more problems tonight. We'll probably have to move you again tomorrow."

A few minutes later Mike, Ruthie, and the RA went to the room to take out Ruthie's things and move them upstairs. Shannon and her boyfriend also were there, and had Crystal not been present with her clipboard, it was clear that the four students would have battled it out in the room. Crystal rolled her eyes at the level of hatred that existed between Shannon and Ruthie, but she could see both of their points. It was true that Shannon had treated Ruthie atrociously, but it also was true that Ruthie tended to get on people's nerves ... that there was something about her personality that was extremely irritating. Anyhow, the RA's problem was with Shannon, not Ruthie, because Shannon was so disruptive. Hopefully this would be Crystal's chance to get her kicked out of the dorm and set an example for her friends, so she had every intention of playing up the fact that the resident had hit her roommate, and that Ruthie (quite rightly) felt in danger as a result.

Shannon's boyfriend glared at Mike. He was bigger than Mike and it was very likely could beat him up with no problem, but Mike had one thing to his advantage ... his ticketing machine. There was no question that while on duty for the Parking Department he would seek out the cars of both Shannon and her boyfriend. Whenever he found their vehicles, he would issue tickets if there was even a hint of a parking infraction.

Ruthie had all of her possessions piled outside the room within a few minutes. The RA brought a pushcart that the students loaded. Ruthie insisted on taking everything in a single trip, so they overloaded the cart before moving it to the elevator. And that was that ... Ruthie and Shannon no longer were roommates.

Room 508 had been vacant for several weeks. There were two beds with no sheets or blankets and the furniture was pushed out of place and the surfaces were dusty. However, for Ruthie the room was a wish come true, a space that she could have to herself, even if it was just for one night. She happily piled her clothes on top of a dresser and tossed a sheet over one of the beds. That was enough for her; there was no need to organize her things if she was only going to be in the room for a single night.

Mike clearly wanted to stay with her and "help her get set up" or invite her back to his room. However, she still was in a strange mood and her desire to be alone was stronger than ever. For the first time since the semester began, she was in "her" space: a room that she would not have to share with anyone, even if it was for just 24 hours. She hugged Mike thanked him for helping her move her stuff, but she also made it clear that she planned to spend her night alone.

Ruthie took off her clothes and looked out the door. The top floor was much smaller than the building's four lower floors and only had a total of eight dorm rooms. There were two unisex bathrooms at the end of the hall, each only big enough for one person at a time. Perfect ... the floor was what Ruthie had wanted all along: it was quiet and small.

Oh it would be so nice if she could somehow keep room 508 ... for herself.

The area seemed completely deserted. If the floor had any other residents, they had not yet come back from Thanksgiving break. Ruthie left her new room and walked naked down the hallway to use one of the bathrooms. She returned to pick up her towel and toothbrush. Still totally nude, she walked the short distance a second time to the bathroom to get cleaned up. This was totally great, she could run around in the nude and not have to worry about Shannon, Crystal, or anyone else hassling her and ordering her to get dressed.

Ruthie returned to her room and for a long time sat in the darkness staring out the window. She felt melancholy, but her melancholy was more peaceful than sad. She was hugely relieved that she managed to get away from Shannon. She also was very happy about not having to deal with Mike at the moment. She cared for him and was enormously grateful for everything he had done for her, but she didn't like having to depend on him so much. If she could just have her own room, she'd be a lot more independent of him and could see him when she wanted, not when circumstances forced her to. She realized that Dr. Hartman was right about her situation; that she needed not to be so dependent on Mike.

Ruthie's memories returned to her mother's apartment and her "me time". Ever since she had entered college she had not had the chance to have any "me time" because she was so fearful Shannon might show up at any moment when she was in her own room, and because she did not feel comfortable having "me time" in Mike's room. However, for the first time in three months she was in her space, and she could do whatever she wanted.

She looked at herself in the mirror ... just like she used to do at her mother's apartment. Ruthie never tired of studying her own body. She ran her hands over her breasts, but then began massaging her bottom. It felt so good ... and yet ... when Mike touched her ... she didn't feel anything at all.

She quit thinking about her boyfriend. Right now he didn't matter. Ruthie needed to concentrate ... just enjoy herself...

She took out her digital camera from her backpack and set the delayed focus. She modeled for a couple of pictures ... to add to the hundreds she already had stored on the card. Her eyes rested on the backpack that still contained the bathbrush. She thought about spanking herself ... but figured that was one thing better not to do, because if anyone else was on the floor the swats would be heard and it would be clear to anyone listening what they were. Still ... at some point ... when she could find a spot where no one would hear ... she'd have to see about giving herself a nice spanking. She hadn't done it for three years, but now that strange urge had returned. She had no desire to give herself the hardcore punishments she gave herself after her 15th birthday, but something more moderate ... maybe 50 good swats. Even the thought of that made her excited.

She looked at the pictures she had taken three years before ... she looked so sexy with her bottom nice and red. She held the viewer of the camera and started masturbating ... her bare bottom ... unmarked and deep red ... so sexy ... oh yes...

She set the camera down to concentrate on herself ... she teased herself ... tormented herself ... she wanted that orgasm so bad ... but she was forcing herself to wait. The longer she waited and the more desperate she became ... the better it would be in the end.

Ruthie fantasized about having a twin sister ... a girl who looked just like her ... with whom she could have shared her body ... every night would be a naked slumber party, with lots of touching and photographs ... and they would wager with each other ... who had to submit to the hairbrush ... the spankings would be long and hard ... there would be crying ... but a lot of love in the end...

Finally Ruthie climaxed ... oh it was so good ... Ohhhhhhhh...

A few minutes later, reeking of orgasm, she snuck into the short hallway and went into one of the bathrooms to clean up. She then was about to return to her room when she noticed there was a door next to the entrance of the stairwell. Curious to see what was behind it, she opened it and discovered it led outside, to the roof of the 4th floor. She made sure the door handle was locked in the "open" position, and stepped outside into the chilly air. The cold November breeze punished her bare skin, but she enjoyed the feeling of total exposure. She also enjoyed the daring feeling of standing naked on a roof in full sight of the entire campus, but not being seen herself because it was so dark on the roof. Her body was covered with goose-bumps and she was shivering, but she managed to stay outside for nearly 30 minutes. Finally she couldn't take the cold anymore and went back inside ... but the experience had been a real rush for her.

Compared to the chilly air outside, her temporary room felt warm, almost hot. She lay down on her bed and without bothering to cover herself and fell asleep.

Ruthie resumed her normal routine the following day: getting up at 4:30 and dealing with a cold dark predawn walk to the Student Center, serving coffee from 7:00 until 11:00, eating lunch with Mike, going to the literature class with him, and finally going to her other classes. She dreaded what was coming later in the afternoon, because Crystal had told her that they needed to meet with the dorm director at 4:00.

The director was not nearly as sympathetic to Ruthie as her RA had been. He blamed her for not getting along with other people and commented that her "personality issue" was something she needed to address or else it would hinder her throughout her life. It was clear that he did not want to pursue any action against Shannon because of the hassle that would entail for him. Ruthie could see that Crystal was clearly disappointed. Ruthie was furious.

"You mean even though she hit me, you're not gonna press charges?"

"Ruthie, we don't know what actually happened between you two, and there's no evidence to go on except your word. Shannon has her side of the story too, so really as things stand now it's just your word against hers. From what I see, neither of you displayed any tolerance for each other. It was a simple failure to communicate."

Ruthie was about to object when the director put up his hand and added: "I'm just not interested in having problems in my dorm." The dorm director then sat back and tapped his fingers together.

"Ruthie, I'm going to make you an offer. You've already requested a change in roommates, which is something Shannon has requested too. I think the best thing for us to do ... would be leave you in room 508 for the rest of the semester and assign you a new roommate in January. So ... I'll just leave you on the fifth floor are for the time being. Will that be satisfactory?"

Ruthie was torn emotionally. The offer of the room was a bribe to shut her up. She was grateful that she was not going to be moved off the 5th floor, but furious that Shannon was not going to be prosecuted for hitting her. She would get room 508, but the cost of the bargain was that nothing would happen to her nemesis.

Ruthie did accept the dorm director's offer. He had insinuated that her only alternative would be to return to living with Shannon. Anyhow, no matter what, the university would refuse to take any legal action against Shannon because "what happened between you is just your word against hers, and we can't prosecute if there's no evidence".