Chapter 10: Confusion

It was a date. Something she couldn't deny no matter what she tried to tell herself. She was going to dinner with a single man. He'd asked her and she'd said yes. Simple as that. So why the guilt? Was it too soon? Pete had been gone six months ... almost seven. How long was long enough to mourn? It would bother her until she talked to someone and got some advice.

"Mom ... I going out to dinner on Saturday night. I have a ... date."

"That's nice, dear. Do you need me to look after the children?"

Her nonchalant reply caught Brenda by surprise.

"Uhhm, no. Robin is going to do that for me. Are you okay with this?"

"Okay with what?" her mother looked at Brenda questioningly.

"Me ... going out on a date. Is it too soon?"

"Goodness no, dear. I can't think of a single person in this town that would look poorly on you getting out and enjoying yourself. You've spent a very long time looking after Pete. Now ... it's time you got on with your life. I've talked to Adele Polson and she agrees with me. You can't be in mourning forever. Go have some fun. You need it."

Brenda felt a wash of relief. "Thanks, Mom."

The menu and the surroundings were familiar to Brenda but Wade made it obvious they were a surprise to him. It was an upscale menu in a very old-fashioned formal setting, something he didn't expect to find in the two-storey heritage home in this small country town. Brenda chuckled as she watched his eyes scan the menu for the first time.

"This looks more like what I would expect in Chicago or Detroit," he said in surprise.

"The owner and her family are from Louisville. Her husband was the head chef at Churchill Downs' main restaurant. Like you, they wanted something less hectic and more rewarding. They've been here for about five years now and their fame has been growing. You'd be surprised who will show up here from time-to-time."

"I'm impressed," he nodded. "It looks like I got good advice when this place was recommended."

"The food is just a good as the surroundings," she assured him.

Wade savored every bite, eating slowly, much more slowly that Pete had, Brenda noted. The pace of the meal and the pleasure of his company were perfect. They stalled before deciding on dessert. It was then that a well-dressed woman of middle age approached the table.

"Mrs. Polson, I'm so glad to see you again. We were all very upset at your husband's passing. I'm pleased that you've decided to return to our establishment," she said solicitously.

"Thank you, Corrine. This is my friend, Mr. Masterson. He's a neighbor of mine. Wade, this is Corrine McCrea ... the Mother in Mother McCrea's."

"Delighted to meet you, Mrs. McCrea," he said with a genuine smile. "You have a wonderful restaurant. The food is outstanding."

"Thank you, but please call me Corrine. All my friends do and if you are a friend of Mrs. Polson, you may consider yourself a friend of mine."

"Thank you, Corrine. I'm sure you'll see me back here more than once or twice."

"Excellent ... and please bring Mrs. Polson with you. It's such a relief to see her out and enjoying herself."

With that, the hostess excused herself and went to greet another table.

"She's very happy to see you here, Brenda. She's a lovely lady and I'm betting she'll give you the best service she can every time."

Brenda nodded. "Pete and I came here about once a month until his problems made that too awkward. Corrine has been very kind and I often get a card or short letter from her asking how I am and how the children are doing. She's very protective of her patrons. I think that's a big reason people really enjoy coming here. That ... and the food of course."

"Well ... she's sold me. I can see myself coming here once a month as well. It's a big enough menu that you'd never get bored."

The drive back to Fairmount was quiet and comfortable. They were relaxing in the glow of a perfect evening ... a perfect first date. When they arrived at the Polson home, Wade jumped out and came around to open Brenda's door for her. She was used to the idea now since he had done the same when they arrived at the restaurant.

"Thank you for the lovely evening, Wade. It was good to get out and spend some time with you."

"You're welcome. I don't remember the last time I had a date but I know for sure it wasn't anywhere near as pleasant as tonight. We'll have to do this again."

"Yes. I think so ... but next time ... my treat," she grinned.

"We'll see," he said as they approached the front door.

As she turned to go in, he leaned forward and placed a light kiss on her cheek, something she wasn't expecting. It generated another of her now more frequent blushes but a smile as well as she went inside.

Wade returned to his vehicle, sat in the driver's seat for several moments before starting the engine and slowly driving away. Brenda watched him from the front window, wondering about the kiss ... what it might mean for the future.

In the weeks that followed, Wade was an almost daily visitor to the Polson property, usually to visit the horses, chat with the girls or just to hang out as the animals wandered in the paddock during the extended daylight. Most evenings Brenda would come out to say hello and visit with him, passing the time as they talked about their day. It occurred to Brenda that it wasn't much different than a married couple would act, familiar and relaxed.

As the end of May and Memorial Day weekend approached, Wade asked about the various events that Fairmount held over the three days.

"Well, there's a parade by the national guard and the VFW branch. That's on Monday morning at eleven o'clock. On Saturday, there's a town barbeque – cookout in the town square, then an old fashioned barn dance. If it's raining, they hold the dance at the high school. Usually it's nice so the dance is on a big wood floor they set up in the square. It's a pretty big event for Fairmount. Sunday is family day. Mostly folks picnic in the park."

"That sounds like fun. Would you like to go to the dance with me?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

"Yes ... I guess so. I don't have any other plans. Sure ... let's do that," she smiled at him.

The light in Wade's eyes was apparent. He was visibly pleased with her acceptance.

The holiday weekend was sunny and warm, exactly what everyone had been hoping for. There were softball tournaments, kids' games, a car show and displays by a number of organizations including the Kiwanis, Chamber of Commerce, the DAR, the army, and assorted others.

Wade and Brenda enjoyed the dance on Saturday evening despite struggling with the polka and schottische numbers. It was fun and Brenda found Wade's company a perfect complement to the evening. When he took her home, there was a brief kiss on her cheek. Brenda almost expected it.

Sunday was family day and the park was crowded with picnicking parents, grandparents and children, including the Reicharts and Polsons. Wade had discovered them as he wandered around the booths and tables. Vera Reichart was quick to invite him to join then, assuring him there was more food than they could possibly eat themselves.

"I didn't mean to intrude on your family picnic, Mrs. Reichart," Wade said.

"Nonsense. You're over at Brenda's house almost every day. If you're not careful, you'll be part of the family," she grinned.

"No doubt about it, ma'am. This town feels more and more like home every day," he admitted, turning to see Brenda blush once more.

"You said your grandparents were from Connersville?" Tom Reichart asked.

"Yes. My dad was born there but went to school at Ohio State. He got a job at Ford and moved to Dearborn. My mother is from Bowling Green. They met in college and got married right after they graduated. I was brought up in Dearborn, went to college in Port Huron, then Chicago. But my heart was always thinking back to the summer days in Connersville. My grandparents sold out to developers a few years back and moved to Florida. I never got the chance to buy the property. Here in Fairmount is a pretty good alternative though."

"You have any brothers or sisters?" Adele asked.

"Yes ... an older sister. She's married to an electrician. They live in Bay City on the Lower Peninsula. They have two offspring, a teenage girl and a boy who's ... I think ... ten now." He said it like he wasn't sure.

"You get to see your folks often?" Howard Polson asked.

"No ... not as much as I'd like. I used to use the excuse that I was too busy but the truth was I made myself busy trying to get ahead. When I get this practice in order this summer, I'm going to visit both them and my sister and her family. It's about time I made the effort."

"Good for you, Wade," Vera said brightly. "Family is very important, you'll discover. Especially when the unexpected happens."

Brenda didn't say anything but she knew the reference her mother made was to her circumstances.

Wade nodded but said nothing, not looking to Brenda for confirmation.

"How is your practice coming along," Howard asked, trying to side-step an awkward moment.

"I'm very lucky, Mr. Polson. Most of Myron's clients have chosen to stay with me. In addition, I've had a couple of people approach me indicating they'd like me to handle their affairs. I guess they didn't feel that Myron would be around for the long haul. Anyway, I'm going to be fine ... even better when my new home is finished," he smiled.

"Good to hear it, Wade. You're a welcome addition to Fairmount," Brenda's father stated firmly.

They ate and talked for much of the afternoon. Brenda saw just how comfortable Wade was in these surroundings. She also realized both parents were doing everything possible to make him feel at ease. Their motive was transparent, not subtle. She caught herself almost giggling at her mother's obvious ploy to put Wade and her together. More surprisingly, she wasn't upset about it. It didn't offend her. Wade was easy to be with ... good company. The question was ... would it be more than just friendship?

As she lay in bed that night, she wondered what her future would bring. She had been sexually active since her freshman year at Coddington. With Pete's growing debilitation, she had been without intimacy for over two years. More and more, her nights were filled with dreams and memories of sex. She seemed to be obsessed with the idea and it was costing her sleep and peace of mind.

Wade seemed happy to keep their relationship platonic ... almost at arms-length. Was he afraid to make a move? Possibly. He admitted to being out of the dating game for some time. Perhaps she should make the first move? But how? If she was too aggressive would she scare him off? He really was the only man that appealed to her in any way.

They were sitting on the front veranda one evening. The horses were in the paddock, the girls had gone home and the children were in bed and sound asleep. Wade had walked over from the paddock and sat in his usual chair, the warm summer air calm in the gathering dusk. Brenda had done something unusual and brought out a bottle of white wine and two glasses before Wade arrived. Brenda poured the wine and they picked up their glasses, moving them toward the other in a silent toast.

"I really enjoy being here with you, Brenda," he said as he sipped the first of the wine. "It's hard to describe just how much pleasure I get from just being around here."

"I feel the same way, Wade. You've helped me more than you realize. I was so caught up in looking after the children and mourning Pete that I had forgotten how to enjoy myself. You've been a wonderful friend to have nearby."

It took a few moments for Wade to reply. "Is that what I am, Brenda, a friend?"

She looked at him, quickly realizing what he was implying.

"Do you want more than that, Wade?"

He looked at her with an intensity she hadn't seen before. "Yes ... I suppose I do." He paused again, before she could say anything, "You're a very beautiful woman ... not just physically beautiful, but inside as well. Awkward guys like me get tongue-tied around you. I'm not really a smooth-talking city boy. I could fake it for a while in Chicago but that wasn't really me. Here ... in Fairmount ... and being around you ... well ... you're seeing the real me."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," she grinned. "I was getting used to the real you. I wouldn't want to think it was all an act," she said slyly.

He was shaking his head in denial. "Not a chance. I couldn't pull it off. The people here ... the ones who I've got to know ... have a way of stripping things down to the essentials. Keeping it simple. You would probably spot a fake a mile away."

"Could be, mister," she grinned. "So ... what are you trying to tell me, Wade?" she asked quietly.

Again, another pause before he answered. "Would you be upset if I told you I was falling in love with you?"

Brenda almost expected that but still it caught her by surprise. Everything about him told her that he was infatuated with her. But love? That was something different.

"Are you sure it's love? Not just ... something else?"

"Hell, no. I'm not sure of anything. But ... in my limited experience, it's the closest I've come to what I thought love might be. I can't get you out of my mind. I think about you day and night. I can't wait to see you every day, even if it's just for a few minutes."

Brenda did something almost instinctively at that moment. She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently.

"What would you say if I told you I thought about you too? Maybe not all day, every day ... but certainly often, especially at night."

"Surprised, I guess. I wasn't sure you felt anything but friendship for me. It was almost depressing in a way. I want more but I didn't dare ask for it and drive you away. That would be worse."

"Well ... a good friendship and a bit of lust isn't a bad start, is it?" she said, her voice calm and her gaze steady.

The look on Wade's face was surprise, then in a few seconds, the happy realization of what she was suggesting. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it, never taking his eyes off her. She put down her glass and stood, still holding his hand and urging him to stand as well. As he did, she embraced him and they kissed. A deep, lusty, passionate kiss. When it finished, she took him by the hand again, leading him into the house.

Wade was tentative and uncertain as they began to undress. Brenda, recognizing that she would be in charge, helped him, trying to put him at ease. He was genuinely nervous. That he was aroused was evident with the bulge in his briefs. He might have been embarrassed by it but she took it in her hand and looked up at him, smiling first and then kissing him again.

Their joining was slow at first but Brenda had been without a lover for too long to be patient. She didn't expect him to last very long the first time and she wasn't wrong. She couldn't take her gaze off his eyes ... wide open in a look of what? Amazement? Excitement? Fear? She could feel the tension in his body as he quickly exploded into her. She had experienced an orgasm almost as he entered her.

The brief burst of energy from each of them left them panting as they lay beside each other. It had been a sprint but neither expected it to end there. Brenda wanted more and she was confident Wade did too. She slid down his body, leaving a trail of semen on his thigh until she reached his now semi-erect cock. Carefully, she used her lips to close around the head of his member, knowing it would be ultra-sensitive to any touch. She felt him immediately stiffen and gasp at her first contact.

It took him a moment or two to become accustomed to the warm caress of her tongue and the soft touch of her lips. But soon, she could detect his recovery was underway. She increased the depth to which she inhaled him, intensifying the pressure of her tongue on the underside of his penis. His response was complete. He was hard and she released him, climbing up on him to sit astride his hips.

She rose up, took his rigid member in hand and guided it into her once more. In a few seconds, she had pushed herself down on his shaft all the way, beginning to move in long, slow, vertical strokes.