I woke up in the strange bed of a white American man. I don't remember why or how I got here. I started out being sent to America to meet my new husband. I was to be bought and paid for but it is all a little fuzzy in my head, but now I was not with a nice Korean man, it was a white American.
I know he did things to me, and I hurt between my legs, so he must have done something to me. But what do I do? I am afraid and I want to go home. I don't speak American so I am really afraid.
I am being held by the man. He is not trying to hurt me but he is holding me. Now he is awake and looking at me, he is smiling, at least I think he is smiling. Now he is holding me closer.
What do I feel? Oh, it is his thing and he is moving against me. Until last night I have never known a man and now I am sure that he had sex with me and he wants to do it again.
He is much bigger than I am. I am only 87 pounds and four foot ten, small even for a Korean girl. At eighteen I look like I am twelve. I have no real breasts, just little bumps, but he is enjoying playing with them. Should I let him continue? How can I stop him even if I wanted to? What do I mean "even if I wanted to?" he is touching my private places, I have to want to stop him, don't I?
The touching feels really nice and even with morning breathe I like his kissing too. I am going to have sex again, I know it! Have I been sold as a sex slave? Am I now a prostitute in America? Why don't I remember anything?
He is touching me still. I feel his manhood pressing against my special place. It is touching that little bump I am not supposed to touch. Why can't I touch there, it feels so good when the man is doing it with his thing.
I feel him pressing to me, now he is touching my leg, moving it over his. Now I can feel his thing pushing into me. It seems to be going in. I think I am a little wet down there maybe that is why it is going in. Now it is deeper inside of me. It does not hurt right now so he must have already taken my innocence. I must be a prostitute to be lying in bed with man who is not my husband and he is having sex with me.
But it is not really bad, it sort of feels good, now I am on my back and he is pushing deeper inside of me. He is sucking on my small breasts just like a baby does. They disappear when I lay on my back but he finds them anyway. It does feel nice, I think I like what he is doing. I must be a whore to like this. He is deep inside of me now, I feel tingling deep inside. He is smiling at me and now he is kissing me, putting his tongue into my mouth. I like this too. I must be a whore to like this.
Oh, this is wonderful, and I really like it a lot. Oh I like it so very much. I am shaking and he is shaking too. I feel him getting bigger for me and now, oh it is so wet there now. He puts my legs up over his shoulders and bends me over and "Oh God, Oh God" his shooting into me is making me cum, and oh this is the best I have ever felt in my life. I scream out very bad things in Korean.
Now he is almost laying on me, he is very heavy. Now he rolls over and I am laying on him, he is still inside of me; but now he is smaller.
My name is Kyung Mi, which means "Honored and beauty." How much honor do I have as a prostitute having sex with a strange man in a room I don't know? And yes I even screamed out bad things when I tingled.
Still the man is not too old, it is impossible to guess the age of white people. But he is probably not more than twenty five or thirty.
He is picking me up, why is he doing this? I can't talk to him, I do not know American. He is carrying me into the bathroom and he is getting into a tub of hot water with me. Why isn't he washing first, this is wrong. You cannot get into a tub of hot water when you are dirty. He puts me in with him. He is still holding me and now he is very nice and washes me. Americans have some very strange things they do. Do they always wash their prostitutes? Do they wash them first too? That seems to be most reasonable, wash first, then sex.
Now he is getting affectionate again. Is that the right word for this? He is back into me again, and he is touching me all over. I sort of like it. Why would I like it? He is still tender with me, so he must not be a bad man.
Oh he is making me scream again. Oh yes I like this very much.
We are finished, and we are tired so we sleep again. When I wake this time he has shaved and brushed his teeth, he smells nice now. He rubs my stomach and makes a motion to his mouth; hungry he is asking me if I am hungry. I move my head up and down to let him know yes. We start to get dressed but it takes a long time. I am embarrassed but he keeps taking my clothes off as I put them on. He is touching me all over again and kissing me all over too.
Now he is kissing me between my legs "Oh this really feels nice, even better than nice." He is doing very naughty things to me licking me and sucking my private place, "Oh I am going to make noise again."
Later I ask him if I can call Korea by showing him the phone and saying the name "Korea" and he shakes his head yes. Then he hands me a cell phone and I make the call.
I speak to my parents in Korean. My parents tell me that they have gotten the money and that I have to stay with the man. I have been found not desirable by the man I was supposed to marry and I have been sold to someone else. I tell them it is a white American, not even a Korean American, and that he has been doing very bad things to me and that I want to come home. They tell me I would shame them if I come home and that I must stay even if I am a prostitute. I want to cry but I am afraid the man will be angry with me. The family is ashamed of me for being such a lowly woman but I have to live with my shame.
I am resigned to my fate. I am sad, but now the man wants to eat so I dress. Even if I am a prostitute I am a proper Korean woman and I dress properly. He smiles at me and we go and eat. We go to a Korean place and I am happy but I am afraid they will know I am a new prostitute. They must know I am a new prostitute, they keep congratulating me. Do they congratulate new whores in America?
Still I must do what I must do. I will make the best of it. I hope my next customer is as nice as this man. I know that I will have to be with many men, we know these things even in Korea.
He points to himself and says "Frank" and pointing to me I say "Kyung Mi." He smiles at me. Stupid name, I should never be called "Kyung" that means honor and I have none; I have been sold as a whore. My sisters will laugh at me and my family will be shamed in the village and the towns.
He takes me around the place called Las Vegas where he first defiled me. There are people drunk and other whores like me, but with big breasts and very tall and blond. He does not appear to care for them but he is American and a small Asian woman will not hold his attention for long.
We visit a place with a lot of water and take pictures; it is called Hoover dam. He has someone tell me in Korean that he has movies of our first night and if I want to see them. I tell him no. Why would I want to see my precious honor being taken like a whore? What kind of man would keep such things? He must be even worse than I thought.
He notices my immigration documents and takes them all and we go to a government office. He is handing them papers and having me sign things. I do not speak American and I am afraid of the government. I do what he indicates. He points and using a pen shows a writing motion, so I do it.
Then we go out to eat and we walk around Las Vegas. He holds my hand so I cannot walk behind him. He smiles at me a lot. Why shouldn't he be happy, I am his personal whore? Then we go back to home but it takes a long time in the car and I get to see America. I have travel guide in Korean and can tell where we are. Every night he does sex things with me. I have to do that, I am a whore now. I even suck his thing and drink his stuff. He likes to kiss me down there and even does it after he does sex with me. He makes me kiss him after he does that too.
Well when he touches and kisses me, and when I do it to him, it is not all that bad, well maybe it is not bad at all. I always have a good time and I wonder if that makes me a whore? I scream at least once a day.
Then we got home. It was a nice home in a clean neighborhood. It was not like our home, Frank and I have lots of room and land. He has a pool and a Jacuzzi and four bedrooms and a big kitchen and, well there was so much to the house. I did not know how to speak American but I finally understood it was just ours and no one else lived with us.
He took me in every room, and he is a very bad man to make me scream in kitchen and other rooms. I should only scream in bedroom with lights off but he makes me scream all the time in many places with lights on. I think he likes to look at me naked, and his thing gets big when I get naked, then I scream and he smiles. I smile too after I scream, I must be a whore.
Then he took me to the Korean center so that I could meet other Korean women. They told me that he said we were married, even though I knew we were not, so he was trying to help me save face; that is a good thing.
He goes to work every day and I called his office once and they had a lady there who spoke some Korean and I asked her if Frank was married and she said he was. I was shocked, how could he be with me and be married. America is a very strange country.
I was calling my parents every week and I told them he was married and I did not know where his wife was but he always came home to me and I knew he must see her sometime. They told me to remember the honor of the family and that he had paid the money and I was his. I was resigned to my life.
Then I realized my monthly did not happen. I was afraid. Would a pregnant prostitute have a place in his life? Would I have to live on the streets? Would he sell me to another man? What about my child? Would he make me kill it, or sell it after birth? I was very afraid and it got in the way of his having sex with me.
I know he would always talk to me during sex but I did not know what he was saying. He was always, passionate, and I think that is the word. But this time he knew there was something different. I think he could feel it.
He just stopped having sex and looked at me and rubbed my belly and raised his eyebrows in a move to indicate a question. I lowered my head because I was afraid and embarrassed. I don't know why I would feel embarrassed, as I walked around naked with him, bathed with him, and had done such naughty sex things with him I felt like a whore must feel, especially when he did anal, but now I was embarrassed.
I just nodded my head yes and he did something very strange, he kissed my belly. I was only two months, if that much, but he kissed my belly and kissed me between my legs too. He had sex with me again, and I paid attention to how he acted, it was the same as always, but just a little more. Then I realized he was not having sex, he was sharing sex, he was making me feel good too, I think he might have been making love to me all the time. I screamed many times that night.
I was confused. How could he be married and have such feeling for me and out baby? I asked him "Married?" as I knew the word and he shook his head "yes." Then I asked "Divorce?" and he shook his head "no."
Now I was very confused, he was married, he was not going to get a divorce and I was going to have his baby and he seemed happy. America is a very crazy country.
I was afraid he would go back to his wife and I cried when he left for work. Somehow one of the ladies at the Korean center got him to understand that I was afraid when he was at work. He was very sweet and showed me the home office video and audio hook up so he could watch the people at work from home office. I did not know he had that. When he was at work I would be able to look at him all over the plant. He had lots of nice looking American women there, some with blond hair and big breasts, but I never saw him do anything with them.
I could even talk with him and he could see me too if I wanted him too. But how could I talk when I did not speak American? I would write him a note in Korean and the computer would translate into American. Sometimes he would laugh when he saw the translation. He only got translations on his iPhone as he said they were private.
He made some computer programs and they built computers too. Lots of people there had to wear all white clothes even their hair and eyes was covered. Maybe one of them was his wife.
But every day he came home from work and did not stop. He would come in and hug and kiss me and the baby in my belly. He would hold my hand and have me sit down. He would rub my back and my feet and legs and my belly too. He would talk to my belly.
I was starting to feel ugly, fat and ugly, but he always did the same thing. He put oil on me, and massaged me, and made love to me. I learned a new saying today from one of the older ladies at the center. She is like a great grandmother and is being very kind to me and I ask her things. She says I make her laugh. She told me a few new American words and phrases, and one was that Frank "ate my pussy." That is a very silly sounding phrase. But that is what Frank does, he eats my pussy and I "suck his cock." Americans have silly sounding things. The lady was very embarrassed to tell me these things, but she is a great grandmother and it was ok to teach me the words, we giggled together. But he does and so do I. I don't feel bad doing it, and it gives him pleasure and gives me pleasure too, so we do it. What is the "it" we do? Well we do it all!
Some times I feel bad so before husband leaves I show him my private place, I suck his cock and when he gets hard I put it in my pussy. They call it a "quickie." I want him to go to work smelling of me. I watch him those days and he works hard but smiles a lot on those days.
He gets all excited when I tell him "Husband, eat my pussy," or "Let me suck husband's cock." But he gets real excited when I tell him "Only husband can fuck my ass." I don't say that last one a lot, I want to keep it special, but I never say no to him. I don't remember him ever saying no to me either.
I like to sleep with him. Now that belly is big he sleeps against my back instead of my front. He has his hand on my fat belly and rubs it. Sometimes he rubs my pussy too. He likes to kiss my neck and I like it too. I make funny little noises when he does that; but I don't know why.
Before I was really fat with the baby there were a few times I slept on him. He would roll over and stay inside of me; no wet spot. A few times he was really nasty when he was in my butt. He would roll over onto his back and I would be on mine on his chest. Then I would be like a frog with my legs opened and he would kiss my neck and pull gently on my nipples and rub my pussy and finger it. I screamed a lot those times too, and he shot his wet stuff into my butt.
He laughs when I call him Frank, because it sounds like "Fank" so he tell me to call him "Husband" and he calls me "Wife." I asked the lady at the center what it means and I think I understood. I was to call him something only a wife can call him and he will call me something only a husband can call me. I wonder if he misses his wife and wants me to pretend to be his wife. I better not ask about it, he might get angry.
He must have a wife, he never takes me to visit his mother and father; that must mean I am not worthy because I am his whore and they would know I was not really his wife. But he is kind to me and many women who are married do not have that.
Some nights when he comes home I immediately take his cock out and suck it, even before his shower. I want to taste to see if he has another woman on him, but he never does. Sometimes I do it because he likes it, and that makes me happy. Sometimes I do it because I like it, does that make me a whore?
But he is a good man and I do love him. He did make me happy and tried to do what ever he could to make me happy, except divorce his wife and marry me.
He takes me out and we even go to company parties but he never dances with anyone but me. We went to Korean center and learned how to dance like Americans do. He probably already knew. Men would ask me to dance but I am a proper Korean woman, even if I am a whore for him, so I always say no.
I wonder what his wife is doing tonight. Why is she not here at the party with him, her husband? When does he see her? Maybe she is rich and they live apart, I have heard of that.
Sometimes when he comes home I suck him hard and then wrap my legs around his waist and he holds me up and we walk into the shower for a bath. He stays inside of me and I like it. Sometimes I scream real loud in the shower. Then we walk out and get into the Jacuzzi and I scream some more. I like it when he shoots his stuff into me, it feels good, I scream then too.
He let me do what ever I want. I want to change house I do it and he likes it. I want to wear traditional Korean lady clothes and he likes it.
I dress in black see through night gown with garters and nylons and my pregnant belly sticking out and no panties, he really likes that. He likes to kiss belly with baby in it and below too. He loves to "eat my pussy," that still sounds silly, but it feels so very nice. Maybe his wife does not like sex. I like really sex with him and he really likes it with me. We are very good for each other; why won't he marry me?
Even when I am pregnant I don't let other women try to take him from me. I may be second to his wife but I am first to everyone else! When big breasted tall blond ladies talk with husband and touch his arm or start flipping their hair and laugh when he has not said anything and is just standing there, or they give him that look, I make sure they see me. I push right in and stand there, big belly and all and husband laughs and puts his arms around me and kisses me on the neck or forehead or if I am really upset at the women he kisses me on the lips. I think he loves me best. Big breasted women don't try anything when I am around.
When I am pregnant it sometimes hurts to have him inside of me, but I like the feeling of "penetration," I think that is the right word. So when he comes home I will have on naughty clothes, lady at Korean center says American men like pregnant girl scout so I like to dress like that too. Husband really likes that one, with belly out and belly button pushed out. I take his pants off, and sit with back to him in his favorite chair. He will hold my belly up for me and touch all around too. He plays with my breasts and even sucks them and kisses, long wet, deep tongue kisses, I love them too. Then I love to feel him sliding into me. It always makes him smile when I slide his cock into my ass, pussy too sore for cock. He plays with pussy too and I scream even more and like that he shoots stuff up my butt. I learned early to do things to clean bottom before butt sex, so I am clean for him. I scream more and more.
When the baby came he was a very happy man. He was there when she was born. I was afraid because female babies are not worth as much as male babies, but he did not seem to care. He loved our daughter and I almost had to fight him to get her away from him for a first feeding. He helped cut the cord and cleaned her off. Even when he put her on my breast he had to keep his hand on her. I name her Eun, which means grace. Husband likes the name he smiles when he heard it and then looked it up and loved it.
I may not speak American but I know what his eyes said; they said love. They said love to me and our daughter. Maybe I was not a whore, maybe I was a concubine, that is not like a whore, I mean she has sex but she is more.