Chapter 11

Before they set off on the walk Katrina insisted on showing Tamsin round the cottage. The two men stayed outside. The children did their own exploration.

"Katrina and I may separate ourselves a bit," said Nigel. "Gran wanted us to have a talk together."

Andrew smiled happily. "I guessed she might and Tamsin mentioned it while Katrina was nattering with you before lunch. Stay here if you like and if you and Tamsin are happy she and I can run the children's pud off."

"Thanks, Andrew. I think you know how important to each other we are."

"I do, Nigel, and rest assured I never want to come between you or spoil your love for each other."

Nigel looked into his eyes for a moment. "Gran said you were a good man," he said quietly. "She's right ... as ever."

There was silence until shortly afterwards they were rejoined by the others.

"Tamsin sweetheart, would you and Andrew like to go on ahead with the children?" asked Nigel. "There's something Katrina and I need to talk about."

Tamsin smiled understandingly at him. "Yes of course, darling."

Off they set and, taking her left elbow Nigel guided Katrina back inside and sat with her on the sofa.

She looked at him a little apprehensively. Nigel smiled at her.

"Now, my sweet Kate. Gran said we needed to talk."

She nodded. "You're the only person in the world who's allowed to call me Kate," she said.

"My Kate actually."

She gulped. "Please don't make this difficult for me."

"Sorry but you actually make me proud to be the only one."

"Oh, this is so difficult. I-I'm almost tongue-tied with embarrassment."

"Don't be, my Kate. If it's any help I've taken to Andrew and, as Gran said, he's a good man. She said quite a lot more about him too but you tell me what you think."

"He is a good man, a very good man. H-he's gentle, caring, understanding, funny; firm too when he needs to be and..."

"You love him." It was a statement not a question.

She nodded silently.

"So what's the problem, my Kate?" he asked gently.

Her eyes filled. "You!" She turned into his chest and his arm went round her.

"Why, my Kate?" He knew the answer but it was important to get her to tell him.

"Because I'd be being unfaithful to you."

"Why? Have I been unfaithful to you marrying Tamsin?"

"No!"

"So why would you be unfaithful to me by marrying Andrew?"

"B-because of my vow never to fall for another man."

"Gran told me that Andrew had persuaded you to renounce that vow."

"He did but that allowed me to realise that I still loved you."

"Kate, my precious Kate, I have never stopped loving you, deeply loving you, but we agreed that it was a hopeless love. Nevertheless I put it behind me and allowed myself to fall in love with Tamsin and, don't get me wrong, I do love her deeply and forever even though you are embedded in my heart as well. I believe there is room in my heart for both of you. In fact I know there is but we both agreed that it was impossible to live with each other. I'm quite sure that there is room in your heart for Andrew as well as me, different rooms but equally big rooms. The difference is that my room will not be a living room or a bedroom." He had to smile at his metaphor. "Andrew's is a bed-sitter."

Kate was silent and Nigel did not attempt to interrupt her train of thought. Finally she spoke.

"Nigel?"

"Mm?"

"I-I, please don't be upset."

"I don't think I will."

"We did love each other back then genuinely and deeply. It was a brother-sister love but intensified because we had no one else of our age to share any love with."

"Yes."

"The, the sex bit arose from that intensity and because we had no one else to try things out with."

"Yes."

"So we all but considered ourselves married because we were taught that a man and a woman should cleave together."

"Yes."

"We couldn't though and so we had to part. You with male good sense moved on. I, with female emotions, made a vow which against your and Andrew's male logic was nonsense."

"Yes."

"But I still get a gut feeling that, despite the immaturity of our love and in no way condemning you for falling in love with Tamsin, I'd still be being unfaithful."

"I don't, my Kate."

"That-that's a big help."

"Little one, I love you and will always love you with a very special love but I would like, really like, for you to fall in love with another man and be truly happy. I mean that, my Kate, for that is what you always will be."

"Really?" she looked up at him. "Really mean it?"

"Yes, my Kate."

"Oh God!" Her head went back against his chest. "Thank you, Nigel. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

Her head came back up again. "I'll never stop loving you though, my precious one."

"Nor I you, my precious Kate."

His left arm went round her and he kissed the top of her head. "Be happy, my Kate."

"I will. I will."

They sat for a few more minutes in each other's arms and then Nigel withdrew his left.

"I think it might be a good idea to go and wash your face, my Kate."

She nodded and sat up. He helped her to her feet and she went through to the kitchen, rinsed her face at the sink and dried it on the kitchen towel.

"Better?" she asked.

"Your hair's a bit messy."

"Bully!" That was said with a smile though.

She went upstairs and sorted it out.

"Let's go out and meet them," she said as she came down again.

"Good idea."

The others were only a couple of hundred yards away coming towards them and they met half way. Katrina went straight to Andrew and took his arm. She looked up and smiled at him. He had never seen her look so happy. Tamsin and Nigel's eyes met and they both smiled as he gave a slight nod.

Nigel and his family did not stay long turning down a cup of tea before they left. The farewells were warm with promises to see each other again soon.

Andrew and Katrina waved them off and went back into the house. As soon as Andrew had shut the front door and turned away from it Katrina pressed against him her left arm round him and the right doing the best it could. Andrew's arms went round her. Neither said anything but Andrew sensed immediately that she was totally relaxed in his embrace for the first time.

"Cuppa?" he asked eventually.

She nodded against his chest. "No rush though, I'm very happy like this."