Chapter 26: Where to From Here?

That was about as deep as the conversation could get at dinner, in the kitchen. It was a good thing that's where we were instead of more romantic surroundings, like the Italian restaurant the night before. Who knows what else we might have said or done? Was I ready to go further? I had better figure that out, and soon. I need to know what I'm doing with Kay, or rather what I want to do. Lord help me!

After dinner we went back to the great room, Kay wanted to play more with her new phone. I didn't blame her but I had to stop her, at least for the night. "You need to let it charge overnight, Kay, if you want to take it with you tomorrow."

"Do I have to?" The look of anguish on her face reminded me of a little kid who had been told it was time to go to bed.

"Let's play some cards or we can soak in the hot tub to take your mind off your new toy."

"Oh, alright, I'll get the score pad and cards. Can I at least keep it by me?" She was like a kid pleading for five more minutes. Kinda' cute.

We were talking while we played cards. "Why'd you get me the phone, Rob? Do you really think I need one?"

"Need one? Depending on your definition of need, maybe, maybe not, I want you to have one though. I want you to be able to talk with your family and friends whenever you want and I want to be able to reach you no matter where you are. It hasn't been an issue yet, but both your parents and mine think I have some level of responsibility for you and to be truthful, I do, too. Call it a Chinese obligation or whatever you want. I want to be able to reach you and I want you to be able to reach me from wherever you are."

She looked at me, thoughtfully. "Thank you, Rob. Is there anything special I should be doing with my phone?"

"Yeah, protect it with your life; it's got the country's secret missile codes locked into its memory."

"C'mon, I'm being serious here. You must have some special reason you want me to have a phone."

"No, no special reason, I just want you to have it. You have a birthday coming up soon so you can call the phone an early birthday present. The only thing I ask is that you take reasonable precautions with it. Don't leave it sitting around where someone can snag it if you look away. Don't leave it in your book bag, either. I'd prefer you kept it in your pocket, but if you'd like, we'll get you a holder so you can keep it on your hip.

"Whether you realize it or not, that's a computer. It may not be quite able to do what your laptop can but it's still a pretty powerful computer. That little thing has more computing capability and power, all by its little lonesome, than they had on the space station when it first went up in space, and for several years after."

"It's a great birthday present, thank you, and I don't mind it being early but now I have to figure out what to get you for yours. I didn't realize these smart phones were powerful as that."

"Yeah, it's a whole lot more than just a phone. Most people don't use half its capabilities. Once you've had it long enough to get used to it, and put your contacts in it, I can show you how to tie it to your computer and your email, if you want. With all the different apps, that are out there now, there are all sorts of things you can do with it. You can put the shopping list on it and if you do that we can link it to my phone and we'll both be able to put things on the list, even if it's on your phone, not mine."

"That'd be neat."

"Do you have your contacts on your computer, with their email addresses and phone numbers?"

"Some of them, why?"

"When we tie your phone to your computer we can set the two up to share your contacts data base. When you put someone into your phone it will also go onto the contacts data base on your computer, and visa-versa. It's what I do. If something happens to my phone I haven't lost my contacts list and all the information in it. I don't have to worry about reconstructing it from scratch."

"That's convenient."

"Very! Like I said, there are all sorts of things you can do with a smartphone."

"You'll have to show me what you think I can use. I'll also ask around in class."

"Good idea. Also ask your professors about any specialized apps in your field. Just be careful, some apps cost money, not much, but it can add up quickly."

"I'll check with you before I start spending money."

We continued to talk while we completed our set of games. When we finished we got ready for bed. As had become our routine, Kay took her shower and when she was done, I took mine. When I stepped into my bedroom after my shower Kay got out of bed and came up to me and gave me a hug. She was laying her head on my chest, keeping her arms wrapped around me and looking down.

"Rob, you've been so good to me. I don't know or understand why but I want you to know I realize it and I'll be forever grateful. I can't repay you; I don't know how I could for all you've done for me."

"I haven't done that much, Kay, and what I've done, I didn't do expecting to be repaid. You're important to me, you're my friend, I like having you in my life and I want you to stay in my life. You do so much for me; I can't and won't not do for you."

"That's just it, Rob. I don't do anything for you. Sure I take care of the house and the laundry but that's so I have a roof over my head. I don't do anything for you the way you do for me."

"I think you do a lot more for me than that." This whole time she hadn't relaxed her grip around me and it took me a minute before I realized my chest was getting wet. "Kay, why are you crying?"

"Because!"

"Because? Because why?"

"I don't know why! Just because."

"That's not an answer, is something wrong?" I was like any other male in this situation, a little befuddled.

"No, nothing's wrong. I just feel like crying."

"And you feel like crying because..."

At this she relaxed her grip and leaned back to look up at my face and into my eyes. "Because of you! Because you're so good to me, because I don't understand you, and mostly because I don't understand what I'm feeling for you or why. You buy things for me, you help me, you talk with me to give me advice but you don't try to overpower me.

"I like to tease the heck out of you and I like that you still act like a gentleman and don't do anything to get back at me, although lately I'm not too sure of that. I like being around you and near you and I don't understand any of this. I'm confused and I don't think I should be, so I don't understand that either!" With that last she balled up her fist and hit me square in the middle of my chest with its heel, punctuating her statement.

Now I was confused. "What do you want me to do, Kay, and why are you beating on me?"

"I don't know!" And again she thumped me on my chest. She then turned around and got in bed. "Get in bed, Rob; I don't want to talk anymore tonight. I just want you to get in bed here and put your arms around me so I can feel comfortable and go to sleep."

I turned off the lights and got in bed. When I put my arm out, Kay laid down on it facing me and put her head on my chest. We didn't say anything more but neither of us went right to sleep. I know she was awake for a while. Even if she didn't say anything, she was softly stroking my chest.

It was driving me crazy but it felt really, really good. I didn't stop her; I lay there thinking about her and her tirade. I also thought that tonight, I better not play any games; I didn't think she'd see any humor in them. The last thing I remember thinking before sleep over took me was that it's damn comfortable having her where she was and I didn't want her to be anywhere else.

Kay's rambling thoughts going to sleep:

What is wrong with me?!? It's been a hell of a week already, I know. A lot has happened, between Todd getting thrown in jail Monday and Rob getting me a cell phone today, I should be happy, as happy as I've ever been. Why was I crying then, and why on Rob's chest? I'm so confused. Is it that conversation we had at dinner? That was awfully deep, where'd it come from? Is it the strange dreams I think I've been having? Are they dreams or wishes? They made me warm on the inside, but where are they coming from?

I've gotten really comfortable getting in Rob's bed and snuggling up to him. It's fun teasing him. I know he reacts to me; I can't help but feel his reaction. Why am I doing it though? I've never teased anyone else this way. I'm not a flirt or a tease. I never have been. I've seen plenty of girls that are, I can't respect them and I don't understand them.

I know a lot of girls who if they got in a guy's bed it wouldn't be just to sleep. I've seen girls do it in high school and more so here in college. If I didn't know any better I'd think they're sluts but I know that doesn't apply to all of them. It does for many, if it didn't the campus clinic wouldn't be giving out B.C. pills like tic-tacs. All a girl has to do is ask.

Why'd Rob get me a phone? It's a top of the line one, too. He didn't have to do that, why did he? He says he thinks I should have one, but why? Why does he want to be able to reach me anytime? This doesn't make sense, does it? It will make my life easier in the long run, I think, but I don't know. I've got some friends here in school, none that are close but the phone may help me get closer to them. There are the guys in my classes and my professors that can help me if I get hung up on something.

There is home, once they know I have a cell phone maybe Dad'll break down and get one himself. I don't know that Mom would ever think she needs one so I doubt she'd want one. Junior'll want one I'm sure. I'm kinda' surprised he hasn't gotten one already. He must have seen how useful they are when he was in school. If Junior gets one then Tommy will, too, for sure.

What friends do I have at home that I want to keep in touch with? There aren't many back home that I can identify with or that identify with me and what I'm doing. I'm kind of the odd duck since I don't want to be a farmer or a farmer's wife. A lot of the kids I graduated with went on to college but they went to agricultural schools and courses for the most part. I'll have to think about who I put into the phone.

I have to add Rob's parents to my phone, too, them and his friends, William and Mary. I may never have to call them, but as much as I do with Rob, I think it's a good idea to have their numbers.

I have to thank Rob again for the phone. He didn't have to do this, give me a phone, but I sure do like it. How do I show him how much it means to me? Maybe I'll surprise him with a pie. He liked the ones Mom made at Thanksgiving and I can make any of those.

What am I doing here? What am I looking for? Where does Rob fit in? What do I expect from him? What is he expecting from me? Do I want to stay here in his house and his bed? Where would I go if I left? Why would I leave? Does he want me to stay? I know I'll never go home to live again but where am I going to end up?

Questions, questions, questions, all I've got are questions, no answers.

Rob again:

In the morning we were back to the status quo. Kay went to school and before she left I reminded her to please be careful with her phone. They're just a little too portable and easily stolen. I went to work.

I looked at my business calendar and figured it was time for one of my pool parties. I picked a Friday in the middle of April and started calling my local area clients to extend invitations. The calls took most of the day but I had a preliminary guest list. I was going to follow up with an email blast to get written confirmations to the invitation but the phone calls let the key people know it was coming so they could make their own plans. Next it was the caterer to lock in the date and work out a menu. I was finishing up when Kay returned from class.

Kay was wound up and bubbling over. "Rob, my phone was a big hit in class. The guys at my work station noticed it when I set it on the desk. They were all impressed with it, maybe even a little jealous, but in a good way. I scored points in the group, thanks to you."

"I'm glad it went over well. I didn't get it for you to score points, that's just an added benefit. I'm more interested in any apps they may have suggested to you."

"There were a couple but I didn't download any yet. I wanted to talk with you about them first. You also said something about tying the phone to my computer. The more I think about that, the more I like the idea. Is it hard to do?"

"Not really, the setup is a pain to do but once done it will save you time in the long run and like I said, it makes a good backup for your contact list. Have you started loading your contacts into the phone yet?"

"Yeah, during lunch I started but most of my contacts are on my computer and I was hoping you could help that process along by tying the two together for me."

"We can do that, it's not hard. I'll show you how so you learn instead of just depending on me to do it for you. Once we've done the setup you shouldn't have to do it again but it good to know how. The other thing is since your computer is tied to my network and is backed up automatically to my network; your contact list is also there. If everything of yours gets wiped out we can still recover your contact information just like your school data and reports."

I started the set up procedure, showing her what to do and how to do it. When we were done, she looked at the contacts on her phone and was very happy to see they all had come over from her computer.

"What about putting apps on the phone?"

"Most of them will load automatically once you select them. You may have to give permissions for some of the features though. One of the things apps typically ask permission for is to access where you are, by GPS. They ask permission but they usually can't do what they're designed to if you don't give that position. Take Google Maps for example. It asks for that position but it can't give you route directions if you don't give your permission. That's just one example.

"Almost all the apps will ask permission for something when you first load them. Just make sure you understand what the app is asking before you give your permission."

"Do I have to give it permission each time I use the app? That seems like a pain."

"Usually you only have to give the permissions when you first set an app up. You may have to give the permission again if the app gets an update. You may even be asked if you want to do an update. I almost always say yes to that question. It also gives me a chance to think about the app and whether I actually use it or not. If I don't use it, I uninstall it."