Chapter 13: I Explain Life Balance to Kay.

It started as a typical Monday morning. It was about nine-thirty and drinking my second cup of coffee when Kay stuck her head in the door. "Morning Rob."

"Morning Kay, was it a good night?"

"It was okay, nothing spectacular, about average for a Sunday night."

"So no world class parties last night at the restaurant I guess."

"Nope, not there or anywhere else that I'm aware of. On a different subject; I told you I was going to do laundry today but I don't know where my mind was. Mondays are my afternoon shift and I have to be in around eleven. Is that any sort of problem for you?"

"You mean I have to live in my dirty, stinky clothes for a whole extra day?"

"Only if you want to, I don't know why you would though. I'm pretty sure you have enough to hang in for one more day. Of course if you need me to I can always accidently bump you into the pool and let that be your bath and clothes wash for the day."

I hung my head down shaking it slightly from side to side. "Unh, I'd rather we let that incident go by the wayside. I'll be okay with clothes for a few more days at least."

"Okay, but don't think I'm going to forget that little antic from yesterday and let you off the hook. I still have a big payback I owe you." She had a big smile on her face as she was saying this and her eyes were dancing with amusement.

Just as I was about to say something to try and pull myself out of the hole she had just dropped my butt into, my office phone rang. "Saved by the bell." I said as I reached for it.

"See you later." Kay said as she turned and left me.

"Good morning, Lister I. T. Service." I answered the phone and got to business.

The phone call was from a client in the San Francisco area that was having a problem. I needed to go up there and take care of the problem but they were okay for the day. I figured to catch an early bird flight in the morning and I would be home in the early evening. From the description I was given it wouldn't be too big a problem. I was due for a visit to them anyway.

The rest of my business day was unremarkable. I spent the remainder of the morning and into the afternoon doing remote system checks for my long term clients. I finished the day working on the program I was developing. I could see I was going to do hours and hours of work before it would be ready. I needed to refine my plan and what I wanted the program to do for me and my clients. My goal was to have a proprietary program that forever linked a client to me. In order to do that, it had to have unique features I could sell to management. They needed to see the value of having the program. The guys I dealt with weren't dummies and would know that if they committed to the program, as I envisioned it, it would mean they were locking themselves in for my services. I had a long way to go on it yet.

When I was done for the day I went for a bike ride. I needed the exercise. While riding I just let my mind wander and thought about what was going on for the day, the week, the month and on ad infinitum.

Near-term things were looking good. Kay hadn't really had a chance to get into a routine at the house yet but I wasn't worried about it. What I was asking wasn't complicated or hard and I had confidence she would do fine once she got into it. I knew she had taken care of the farm house at times back in Kansas. My house would probably be easier than what she had to do there, since here it was just the two of us. The hard spot was how her parents were going to react, what they would say and do and how she would react. I wasn't looking to cause her problems and if it was going to be a big deal, I would let her leave if she wanted to. It would be a pity though as this was a good arrangement for both her and for me. While I found her attractive and, so far, a fun person, I would never be inappropriate with her. Some people might have seen yesterday at the pool as inappropriate but I didn't see it that way. I surprised her, that's for sure, but I didn't offend her. It was just a little good fun. I tried not to look but it was hard not to. I didn't intend for her to put on a wet tee shirt display; I never even considered she wasn't wearing a bra when I pushed her into the pool. It was a very good show and she has nothing to be ashamed of. It's too bad she hasn't yet had a good experience with love making. From what she has said, no one has taken the time to see to her needs instead of their own. It's too bad too; she's a nice girl and good looking. I'm sure she gets hit on and asked out way more than she's let on to me. She should be having the time of her life right now. She's smart and in a tough program but she shouldn't hide behind it. I wonder if there is more to this than she's telling me. I have to be careful; I don't want to butt in where I'm not wanted. I also don't want to intimidate or scare her. The thing is I like her. If this works out I wouldn't mind having her around for the rest of the time she is here in school.

In the mid-term I needed to keep my business moving along. My client list is growing and I have to keep it growing. I have to push every client that comes to me for one time service to think about the long term benefit they can have by putting me on retainer. As far as I can tell, the clients that are keeping me on retainer are happy with the service I provide. That reminds me, I have to send a thank you gift to the airline CTO for the referral to the Colorado resort.

I'm still not operating at full capacity though. I have room to grow, room for more long term clients. That's one of the main reasons I'm developing the software program; I just have to spend more time on it. I could also diversify and expand my services some. I don't want to get into the data back-up service field. My home computer system is good but it isn't good enough for that. I would need a main frame computer and huge storage banks for the data. To go along with the computer equipment, I would need a significant cooling system, more than just my home A/C. I don't think that's the way I want to go. I could sub-contract to the big back-up services like Carbonite. Work out a contract with them where I bring in the clients and they store the data. That's another way to go and I'll have to look into it.

For the long-term I really need to step back and look at where I am and where I want to be. Financially I am in a good place right now. I have no outstanding debts; I own my home, my vehicles, my boat and my business. I've started building a reasonable savings portfolio with an investment counselor I trust and I add to it each month. Of course it isn't like I was in a corporate nine-to-five job with 401Ks or profit sharing programs or savings matching programs or anything like those. What I add to the portfolio isn't as regular as it would be if I had a regular job with a pay check but I still think I'm way ahead with what I have. The money guy is someone I went to school with, he's smart as a whip when it comes to investing but for practical and physical abilities I wouldn't trust him to pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel. He did impress upon me the need to make plans for the future and in order to do that, you have some idea of where you want to be in five years, ten years and twenty years. The further out ideas can be more vague than the closer in ideas but you cannot plan to get somewhere without knowing where it is you are going. Of course being a financial guy his focus is on money but the principle for planning is the same for whatever you want to apply it to. You can't get somewhere without know where it is you're going. Right now I'm in a good place and I don't have to worry too much about the long term but I can't ignore it forever.

I was home and sitting in my recliner watching the evening news. I hadn't had dinner yet but was thinking about what I wanted when Kay came in.

"Hi Rob, watcha doin'?"

"I'm contemplating my dinner, have you eaten yet?"

"No, I've snacked the whole afternoon but I haven't had a meal. Do you have something in mind?"

"As a matter of fact I do. I was thinking of kielbasa and kraut. I have the kielbasa in the refrigerator I can fix on the grill out back along with some sauerkraut in the pantry. Are you in?"

"Sounds good, do you want me to do anything?"

"No, you can relax or do whatever and I'll light the grill so it heats up before I put the kielbasa on. You're welcome to keep me company if you'd like."

"Let me go in and change first and I'll come out and sit with you."

I was out at the grill when Kay came out to join me carrying two glasses of iced tea. She handed one to me as she sat down at the table. "Thanks Kay, that was very nice of you. I had been thinking I wanted something to drink but I didn't want to leave the grill just now."

"You looked thirsty and I was getting one for myself so I brought you one. Just watch out if you start looking hot and sweaty. With the pool right here, I can and will take care of that too." Her eyes were dancing with merriment and challenge as she said this.

My shoulders dropped and I hung my head. "You're not going to let me get away with that are you?"

"Nope, I've got a good memory and a lot of patience. I'll get even. Even hell, I'll get ahead in this game you've started."

"Lord save me from a vindictive woman. This is one of the reasons I've never gotten married. I've got to protect myself from vindictive women."

"Aww, I'm not vindictive Rob, I promise it won't hurt ... too much! I also promise I WILL at least get even. By the way, what would your parents say about your unprovoked attack upon my person?"

"I suspect my father would find some humor in it and chuckle, as long as my mother wasn't within hearing at the time. My mother would start with asking me why I did it and what was I doing. She would very quickly progress to who is this young lady, why was she at my house, how long have I known you, are you a nice girl, what do you do, are you someone they should know, when am I going to introduce you, are they ever going to meet you? Do I need to go on with what she would say or do you get the drift of the direction that conversation would be going?"

"Oh my, that bad huh."

"Oh yeah, that bad ... and then some. My mother is in a quandary, she wants grand-children and that means, in her mind, I have to be married, not living with someone. I have to have a wife, not a significant other or some other euphemism for a shack up of some kind. You talk about your parents being old fashioned and conservative, well mine may be from New York which is a lot more liberal than Kansas but they are older than yours and probably even more old fashioned and conservative than yours are, at least on this subject. Any woman I mention to her is going to be a potential daughter-in-law and subject to scrutiny with that relationship in mind. I have to be very careful about how I talk about women, all women I come in contact with so she doesn't get her hopes up or I don't inadvertently deceive her. I don't want to lead her to an erroneous conclusion based upon her hopes and desires. You have to understand, she's never said anything directly about this, it's all by her body language and innuendo. You know, the elephant in the room that no one ever says anything about."

"Wow, I never even thought of it from your point of view. I didn't realize adults go through this type of thing with their parents too. I thought it was just because I was young and moving out from my family's influence."

"No, it isn't just you, or just young people moving out of their parents' homes. It's the kind of thing everyone goes through with their parents to some extent or other. The tighter the bond between you and your parents, the more it influences you and what goes on in your life. My mother doesn't think she's being nosey or intrusive or demanding but she loves me and wants to be involved in my life. She thinks I should be married and giving her grand-children the same way your parents think about you. Their reasoning may be a little different but neither set of parents think they are wrong or looking to hurt or limit us. You've heard of maternal instinct I'm sure. Think of this as parental instinct and grand-parental instinct. Or you could just look at it and say it's nature trying to prolong and promote the species. I know not all families are like this, sometimes a kid moves out and it's good riddance to bad rubbish on one or both sides. I think those are sad and there is something wrong with them. I'm grateful my parents love me enough to be concerned about my life, you should be too unless there is more you're not telling me."

"No, there isn't more, it's just as I told you and your analysis of kids and their families is a good one for me too. I agree the reasoning may not be quite the same as for you but the overall picture of love and concern is right on. If it wasn't, I guess I wouldn't care about upsetting them. It's also why I won't lie to them, that and I'm sure they would catch me in the lie, if not right away then not too far in the future. The same thing is true for my brothers, how I feel about them and they feel about me. I never gave this much thought; you're telling me things I should have realized by myself."

"I'm sure you would have, you're no dummy. I have the advantage of having seen more life than you have so I have more experiences to draw on. I've seen this before with others and have had the time to think about it, to figure out why, at least to my own satisfaction and understanding. When I'm older I'll have even more experiences to form my opinions just as you will."