Chapter 22

In the morning, after a good traditional post-Christmas breakfast of cold ham, tongue, pickles and fried potatoes, we helped Dad check the cars over. He was keen that we both learned how they worked, and what was required in the way of simple maintenance. We knew that we wouldn't own a car of our own for several years yet, but it was always useful to know what to do.

He called it 'First Parade Servicing', which is what it had been known as in the Army when he had done his National Service.

He made us both check all the tyre pressures (including the spares), check the oil levels with the dipstick, top up the windscreen wash reservoirs with a mix of water and antifreeze, and undo the radiator cap to ensure that there was enough coolant in it. The Mini was always a beast for that; the cap was so small that I had difficulty gripping it and turning it while pushing down to release it. Jen's smaller hands managed the turning easily enough, but the spring was quite strong for her to push.

Then one of us turned on the ignition and operated the light switches while the other verified that the lights were all working, especially the indicators.

As the weather was dry, and the cars weren't getting a lot of use, Dad also showed us how to connect the battery charger to the battery terminals with the crocodile clips, and we gave each car a couple of hours booster charge.

"You have to remember in the winter that the battery electrolyte doesn't like getting too cold, although it won't freeze; but more importantly, because it is dark in the mornings and evenings, the battery doesn't get much chance to be recharged when the engine is running without the lights on. I'm glad we're taking Jen down to Reading; my car hasn't had a decent run since we collected her, and when you only do short journeys, the battery doesn't really replace the juice it uses to start the car."

"Do you need to top the batteries up, Dad?"

"You used to have to keep them topped up with distilled water quite regularly, but these modern ones with rubber caps are a bit better. I've heard that they are working on sealed batteries that will never need maintenance, but they aren't on the market yet. Get me the torch from the glove compartment, and I'll show you what you need to do."

I passed him the torch, and he popped off a couple of the rubber caps and showed us the level of the electrolyte above the lead plates. He told us that he'd done this not long ago, and that the levels were fine.

"You don't want to overfill them; it's quite a strong acid, and you don't want it overflowing or leaking because you put too much water in. And always wash your hands immediately, because otherwise you'll touch your clothes, get acid on them, and your Mum will have your guts for garters because they'll be ruined!"

He also showed us how to check the polarity of the car earth.

"Do you see this negative lead? If you look carefully it has got two wires coming off it; one goes to the alternator and the other is connected to the car chassis here, so the car is negative earthed. That means the positive terminal of the battery is the dangerous one, as you'll create a circuit if you touch it to the chassis. So if you ever need to remove the battery, take the negative off first, then the positive. And when you put it back, do it the other way round, so that the positive is safely out of the way before you put the negative back on. Some older cars have a positive earth, but neither this or the Mini do."

That lesson over, we washed our hands under the outside tap, and went in for elevenses. It had been quite chilly out in the driveway, so a hot cuppa was welcome.

Jen and I lazed around until lunch, apart from moving the battery charger from Dad's car to the Mini under Dad's watchful supervision. We were more confident, and less scared of it.

"You must remember to pull out the plug from the charger, so that you are absolutely sure the power is off, but don't forget that the battery is also full of electricity!"

I managed to produce a large spark as I disconnected the charger leads.

"That's okay, it just shows that the battery is well charged. You haven't done anything wrong. If you had taken the negative lead off first and then accidentlaly touched the positive lead to the car, then you'd have known about it!"

Mum had read in that morning's newspaper that Bruce Forsyth had married Anthea Redfern on Christmas Eve, and teased Dad about it over lunch.

"I see your little floozy Anthea Bedfun is off the market again?"

"I'm not convinced, she'll be back on soon enough! And, Maggie darling, I'm not looking, because I'm intending to spend the rest of my life with you!"

"I thought you said that she had 'come to bed' eyes?"

"She does, but they don't say anything to me. Yours, on the other hand..."

Jen decided that enough was enough of this teasing between our parents.

"Dad, do you think that I've got 'come to bed' eyes?"

Mum roared with laughter, and that got Dad off the hook.

"His answer is 'no comment' - isn't it, dear?"

Dad nodded, and the conversation changed.

After lunch was finished, and we had washed and dried the dishes, I went up to my room to sort some things out; Jen came in a few minutes later, and sat down on my bed.

"Jon, do YOU think that I've got 'come to bed' eyes?"

I thought quickly.

"No, I think I'd probably describe them as 'Monopoly' eyes."

She giggled.

"What on earth do you mean by that?"

"You know what it says on the 'GO TO JAIL' card in Monopoly?"

"Yes?"

"Your eyes say to me 'Take me to bed. Take me directly to bed. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. Just make mad passionate love to me all night long!' That's what I think they say!"

"Oh you darling! Yes please!"

We had a brief hug and a kiss, but yet again had to force ourselves to stop before it got too exciting. Our encounter the previous evening might have removed a little of the urgency, but under the surface the fires of desire were still smouldering away. We HAD to try to control ourselves, otherwise there was a real risk that our parents would suspect that something was going on.

"Do you really think Mum and Dad will let you come back to Reading with me?"