Chapter 4

The Australian Capital Territory, the ACT, is two and a half hours down the express-way, two if you push it a little and dodge the police radar. We entered the main gate of Duntroon a few minutes after zero-nine-hundred hours. We hit the base cafeteria for breakfast and coffees and both here were better than at Randwick. Then we went straight to Captain Paul Habberfield's office. We knocked then entered without waiting for a reply. There was no one in the outer office, neither his assistant nor himself. I searched the office and there was nothing to suggest that there was ever anyone there. The Captain's office was locked ... for a few seconds. We entered and set the stage.

Eric took the seat in his Colonel's combat field uniform. He thought he deserved a promotion and it seemed odd to me, to be calling him anything else. Sal is mean and butch looking in her Senior Unarmed Combat Training Lieutenant's uniform. I took the time to pinch her nipple and inform her that she was out of uniform and would she like me to help her get out of the rest. She regretfully declined the offer but gave me a standing offer to ask again, tonight. Eric sent his eyes to heaven to pray for help.

She was standing at ease behind Eric and to his left. I was clad in the scariest of them all as an MP with a Sergeant Major's patch and enough valid fruit salad to impress a General (Which, if I am honest, were all actually mine. I have never received any decorations for my service, that's fair enough, seeing that in a sense I've never been in the Army, as such. But the service fruit salad should be supplied if earned, even if I had been made officially dead. The lady with me made me feel totally alive and I want to keep breathing the same air as her.). I stood at ease beside the door just in case the Captain took fright, and for other expected events.

The outer office door opened and closed. A key sounded in his inner office door lock. The expression on his face was priceless when he saw his late classmate looking back at him from his own desk with a couple of seemingly unfriendly ratings backing him up. He did the only thing available to him. He called on his training and discipline, stood at attention, and saluted his superior officer. He then made the error of putting his hand out to shake Eric's hand, as does any fellow classmate. Eric looked at his hand as if it was covered in dog's faeces. That was the point when Habberfield realised that this was not going to be a friendly conversation.

The Colonel just stared at him for a few minutes. He began talking in almost a whisper. Even I was having trouble hearing him.

"The last time we saw each other, you wore a Brigadier's patch. I was quite impressed as to how quickly you had come up in the world ... seeing, as did everyone who had met you, knew you to be an utter fool. You gave me a spiel about my doing my duty for my country, and that I had been selected to run a Special Forces team to all parts of the world. You expected me to obey the orders that I received. The only person I was to speak to about these operations was your aide and private secretary, Private Rose Raft.

"Do you know what my task was supposed to be? Don't worry Habberfield that was a rhetorical question. My task was to assassinate people. My only contact with the government to which I was committed was through a lowly private who has had me, and my team, kill forty people up 'til now. My team and I are seriously looking at number forty one ... very seriously looking at him, right this minute. Now, I know I have been conned, as there is no one in our armed forces named Rose Raft. The powers that be have decided I know too much. They are attempting to have me removed from this mortal coil, and I am seriously objecting to this tactic."

The office door crashed open, and two armed soldiers without unit markings aimed their F88S-A2s into the room. I sprayed mace into their eyes, took the guns out of their hands then used a sap to give them a nasty headache. I kicked them into the room, out of the doorway, and closed it again.

"And as you can tell they are very serious about their intentions, too."

"Now before I decide who will be number forty one, I want to know who told you to do these things, and where the unknown private Rose is. I will now let you speak and if I don't like what you're telling me I will unceremoniously retire you and go directly to your superior officer to inform him of your demise, and see whom he allowed to control his subordinate for one day. If I don't like his answer ... well, you get the drift, I'm sure."

The seat of Captain Habberfield's trousers suddenly darkened, and a foul odour filled the air.

"In, in, in, the, the, c, c, orner is a s, s, safe. I placed m, my wr, written orders i, in th, there. The locking code is 1812OVERTURE in capitals."

"Lieutenant, if you would be so kind."

Sal opened it and returned to her station, as she said, "The safe is empty, sir."

Habberfield screamed and ran to the safe.

"It was here! I put it in here, myself! Don't kill me! I was following orders! Captain Gerhardt from intelligence gave them to me in a sealed envelope, and I followed them to the letter!"

I sapped him as well.

"He's telling the truth, sir. I could have opened that safe within two minutes of being in the office. These two fine strapping figures of men however, are bugging this office on orders. We could ask them politely whose orders. I could place the question in one's shell like ear, and ask him if he wishes to be emasculated like his mate. It is a system I have found persuasive over the years."

We both looked at Sal.

"Hey, don't look at me, I usually slice 'em and dice 'em after they're dead, not while they're alive."

"Let them wake up, and I'll ask them their opinion of handling the situation that way. Immobilise them please." I placed cable ties around their feet and wrists and squeezed a bottle of irritant under both their noses. As they regained consciousness, I poured rancid smelling water from an otherwise empty vase into their eyes and dragged each of them to sit against the wall facing the Colonel. They didn't utter a word.

"Okay. My Sergeant Major suggested this but I personally think he is too soft and my Lieutenant should begin immediately on the interrogation, as she rather enjoys hurting men. The questions are: who do you work for, who do you report to and who is his immediate superior. Note that I don't care who you are, what your pay grade is, or if you have a significant other in a relationship, though I would place those unasked questions into your memories if you are wise. Sergeant Major, it is your show."

I sat on the floor in front of them, I wanted to show them that what I was doing wasn't personal, and I was actually one of them.

"I am interested what your pay grade is. Mine is public service grade three. I'm a bit grumpy that it's not high enough to warrant having my life shortened by sub-standards like you two.

"Okay, now I'll tell you the facts of life according to Garp.

"When these attempts on my life began, three individuals attempted to shorten my life span. I took severe offence at their actions. It was a three man, sniper assault team, and it was quite a short action as these things usually are. Number three man came into where I was supposedly severely wounded to give me the coup de gras, and it forced me to take the action which I did. I promised myself that I wouldn't kill him, as he was only a working stiff obeying orders the same that I am, day in day out.

"But he annoyed me, so after I broke both his shoulder blades I severed and shortened both his Achilles' tendons, and then I emasculated him. I had promised myself that he wouldn't die though, so I kept my promise. All three of them were US Navy Seals, if that is important to you, so they were foreigners even in the country where we all were. The other two I blew into very small pieces with a half a kilo of C-4.

"The third man always has the shitty end of the stick, so he rarely has an extended life span, anyway. He won't be third man again, but his long life will feel like forever. The only reason I wanted to live so badly, was so I could warn the rest of my team," I poked my thumb over my shoulder to Dad and Sal, "that they were going to be targeted next. You've annoyed me, because you came in waving your pop guns about and threatened the life of my Colonel and the Lieutenant and they are very important to me.

"Now, my Colonel asked three questions. This is getting a little long-winded so I need to know which of you is going to get the shitty end of the stick. He will have both his Achilles Tendons severed and shortened negating surgery, I will emasculate him, I will cut his tongue out and remove both his eyes with that paper spike on the desk. The lucky one will get to watch that as I ask him questions.

"Frankly I don't care what your pay grade is either, but it better be very high. I don't give a damn if you are married, fucking a beloved girlfriend or boyfriend, or who you are. To me, you're less than the dog shit on the sole of my boot. My question is simply who's getting the shitty end of the stick. Don't hurry with your answer as whoever gets it will have the longest life of anyone you have ever met."