Chapter 13: Karen's Story

Month -3: Terry's household was growing. Now, he had Dolores, Mary, Catherine and Kim to help in both the mission and in bringing partners to the household. Much as they needed people, he gave the five of them two weeks to acclimate. As he realized the magnitude of his task, far greater than he had thought, they gave him needed emotional support. They continued to work from a suite at the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA), although facility construction was underway at Midway Atoll.

Terry was eager to learn how Central Command planned to get the team at least started in space, if for no other reason than testing their equipment. He preferred that they have their own ship, but would happily take space on a larger one.

Lacking guidance from the higher command, he wasn't that focused on where they would go once they had successfully tested their capabilities in Earth orbit. It was no longer a matter of their developing intelligence sensors, but also in coming up with adaptations of both weapons and battle management systems. He suspected other units were working on similar problems, but there was a total lack of coordination by higher levels.

After the previous days' exploration with Catherine, Terry knew more about himself, and, he thought, about the two of them. He suggested they have breakfast and talk a bit. Giving her a long hug, he said, "I know I learned more about myself, and I hope you did about yourself. In addition, I hope we know more about one another.

"Catherine, you are a consummate professional, who improves my thinking. However, if you don't mind my saying so, you are something of a shaman for me, who takes me into a nonordinary reality, where there's nothing beside us. My guess is that you feel something of the same way, to be simultaneously safe and dominated. Am I right that the mindset we produce absolutely clears other tensions?"

"Yes, Terry, I think so. I think we are just beginning to understand it. It's odd to me, but we both needed to get some of the psychic stuff out of the way before we could have pretty good sex. Guilt feelings aren't exactly what I have, mostly from growing up and a little from being married from the jerk, but it was more a belief I couldn't have good sex until the bad spirits were out of my head. Bondage and pain help, but safety's part, and your intense concentration on me. In the past, I felt weird when you looked so intensely into my eyes, but adding the rough stuff made it OK. I'm not sure I can explain it. It may even be that I need less of the rough now, because I trust you more -- lots of people hurt me."

"Makes sense, I think. I still don't know what it is about holding you and looking into your eyes, but it's more than just sex, and it isn't just romantic love. I get odd physical sensations. You know, I guess, that I am especially turned on by legs, after the face. Your legs send fire all the way up mine. Yeah, now that I think about it, I have a sense of psychic heat when I'm holding you, naked.

"My physical fantasies have more about feeling the length of your body -- rear entry, your legs pressed together. Something special -- Dolores is actually taller than you are, but her legs are voluptuous rather than slim and hard.

"I don't think there's one particular place to go. Our relationship, in a good sense, is going to get more complicated. You are the best electronic engineer I know and I really depend on you. At the same time, I think I can see requirements you may not.

"Assuming we are developing a polyamory, I think we help define safe spaces for each other. Catherine, I know I feel exceptionally free from tension with you. Is there anything like that on your part?"

"Maybe. I've realized how much I've had my family's sabotage floating around in my head. This is sounding, though, like both of us are having paranoid delusions."

"I'm not sure. I think that nonordinary reality is a very useful idea. Michael Harner used it very well in talking about the cross-cultural experience of shamanism."

Terry talked to his household about a new addition. "Karen Ratzinger, whom some of you know, is my ultimate library researcher. You might not know that she and I had had a brief relationship after he separated from his first wife. Karen was a co-worker who gently seduced me in his sadness. Terry's brief attempt to reconcile with his ex shattered Karen, and he still regretted how Karen had suffered. He and Karen, had moved, at least, to a professional relationship.

Having gotten to know her professionally, neither of them had initially been put off by what, bluntly, was ugliness. He was surprised to discover, when they first went to bed, that she had a slim but quite nice figure. In fact, he had had a flashback to paparazzi pictures of Jackie Kennedy Onassis in a bikini.

Still, she was depressed much of the time, and she enjoyed sex but only a narrow number of acts. Terry knew she had had a bad marriage and several lesbian relationships but had been more celibate than anything else. He did care for her.

Their plan was to start with Mary the supporter and Catherine the nonthreatening, and then bring in Dolores in full outrageous mode, who, if her intuition told her it was right, to use what the movie version of Erin Brockovich described as a secret weapon: boobs. Terry had told her that if she could just do drunk very well, she'd also manage the usually tipsy Patsy out of "Absolutely Fabulous." Dolores threatened to hit him with a bottle of wine. Terry muttered that the next time he had to transform someone in a medtube, she'd come out looking like a younger Joanna Lumley. Dolores sweetly suggested, "Not John Inman playing Mr. Humphries?"

For the first time, Catherine yelled. "ENOUGH with BBC comedy takeoffs! They do it better than you two. Do I need to send both of you to play with Mrs. Slocumbe's pussy until you grow up? Back on track, lady and gentleman, as I make questionable use of the terms." Dolores and Terry turned interesting shades of purple and red, and refocused on the Karen problem.

"With her, Mary, it's not a question of the body modification medtube, but convincing her that it's a real possibility. I just don't know if it's better to find a way to convince her into an experimental program and fix her looks first, or tell her how much we need her mind.

"I've also seen her get lusty fast with a provocative woman. Maybe the first step is for Dolores to make herself available, and, in the afterglow, they could start talking. Yeah, that might work.

"Oh -- she does have a degree in music, but never went anywhere with it. I never really understood it, but she stopped playing the piano. Rarely, she sings. She could transform with the right music, though. Keep that in mind.

Kim, they thought, might be too much of a challenge for Karen, at least until Karen accepted body modifications. Terry sent an email to Karen, asking her to come to his office the next day, to discuss a project. They had done that many times.

When she arrived the next day, Karen radiated both intelligence and unhappiness.

Catherine and Mary were the first to meet with her, explaining Terry had been called away on an emergency, would be back before long, and they needed to address the same project, in any case. Catherine had gone back to nondescript clothing. While Catherine had a striking face, she and Karen both had attractive slim bodies, and the family had tried to dress Catherine to remind Karen of herself. Mary was back to her conservative professional look, sans white coat.

Catherine began to explain their needs. "Karen, we are forming a very special team that will do some out-of-the-box thinking about the Sa'arm. Terry tells me that he trusts you, more than anyone else, to find errors in thinking. While no one, of course, knows how the Sa'arm really decide things, he also thinks you're as good as anyone in trying to figure out if they could work out our strategies." Catherine became aware that Karen was giving her full attention, including with her eyes.

"Karen, Catherine comes at them from a technical standpoint. You and I, in some respects, might be closer -- I'm going to be talking to human survivors. Where you have to find clues out of lots of extraneous material, I have to pull information that's surrounded by pain. No, I'm not a mental health person -- I'm a nurse practitioner that's been in high-stress areas of trauma and transplants. It's an area where you simultaneously have to keep your humanity yet keep it from overwhelming you. I have to be good at realizing what hurts people the most, not to "fix" it, but to let them do what they must. I was the person that could deal with the member of a disaster team who was reaching her limits, but that we had to have a while more."

Catherine was by no means an experienced flirt, but, having felt Karen's eyes on her, waited until Karen's attention was on Mary, and then shifted her dress, revealing more of her now-perfect legs. Anything that got Karen out of her shell would be a start.

Not really looking at Mary, Karen answered "I don't know how similar we are -- frankly, I tend not to want to deal with people." She would glance at Mary, mostly gaze at the floor but also sneak looks at Catherine.

Although they now, over the AI's protests, had communicator implants, none of the concubines was yet proficient with subvocalization. Catherine excused herself and went into the bathroom, linking to Dolores. "Dolores -- make this fast -- monitor the voices. When I say something like "deep, deep", get in here but do NOT make the pass at Karen. Wear something very low cut rather than your usual cling. Give Karen an eyeful, but then bend over me, put your boobs on my shoulders, and follow my lead."

Mary took the opportunity to ask Karen, "People can be difficult; I see them at their worst. What makes it hardest for you?"

Karen exploded, starting to cry as her face reddened and screwed up, becoming Medusa-like. "What do you think, BITCH? Haven't you looked at me? Maybe you see people feeling sorry for themselves; I see them feeling sorry for me or just wanting to get away from my ugliness. How hard is that to figure out?"

Mary began to wonder if Karen was, in fact, salvageable. There was no sense of emotional communication, none at all. Perhaps Terry could get through with shared intellectual respect, or past history. Mary wasn't sure if the other women could get beyond Karen's anger. Karen continued to sob, now with her nose running.

Returning, Catherine got back in the deep chair, twisting so more of her hem rose. She glanced at Mary, not sure what had happened other than that Karen was far more upset. "I'm sorry, Karen. I really had to go to the bathroom, but I obviously missed something important."

Karen tried to collect herself before talking to Catherine. "Mary here really pushed some of my buttons. I feel patronized. I don't weigh 800 pounds, but I look like a gorilla and she was so avoiding it."

Catherine was over her head with this emotional storm, but tried to deal with it. Guessing that Karen was attracted to her, she tried something specific. "Karen, you're right. I can't know what it's like. However, take a look around. See how Mary's dressed? See how I'm dressed? Which one of us looks confident?"

"But you're beautiful!" Karen choked up again, on the verge of tears.

"Maybe so. But I haven't been confident about standing out in a room. My outfit is rather plain. Probably for different reasons, but we're both somewhat scared of people. I've actually started doing better recently ... I'm getting some things I needed, through this project. You probably won't need the same, but there are an awful lot of resources here.

"You keep saying how bad you look. Has it occurred to you that with some Darjee technology, beauty is truly only skin deep?"

"I guess so--but who's going to make it available to me? Is someone going to pick me out of an extraction?"

Mary wasn't sure of her authority, but she figured it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission. "Karen, I'm fairly sure we have authorization to give you medtube time for remodeling, even if you don't get extracted. I'm on the edge of some programs to see how CAP score can be raised, and I know Terry is even more involved. Terry feels that he failed you when he knew you before."

Karen whoofed, as if someone hit her in the belly. "Are you serious?"

"Serious as anything. I'm going to be completely honest, if you like it or not. I've been about ready to write you off, but Terry is so strong on your skills that I'm living up to my promises and doing everything I can to make this work. Stop and think. Any idea what he might be doing?"

"Getting concubines with special skills? But why me? I don't know much about kids. Maybe someone could turn me into a killer. However, this is sounding like a group for something other than personal purposes. I..." It suddenly occurred to Karen where they were talking, and that Terry had asked her to come through official channels. For the first time, she noticed the badges worn by Catherine and Mary. Karen was just as good at pattern recognition as Terry had said. Her face became inhumanly calm. "I give you what Terry sometimes called my Mentat computation. He is putting together, under Confederacy auspices, some type of intelligence team. Because technical specialists don't need to be combat volunteers, they may not have sponsor CAP. You two are actual or potential concubines with very specific skills. Terry has a role for me in that team."

"Yes, Karen." Catherine agreed. "He has described a deep, deep need for things he believes you do better than anyone else. We trust him. Can you?"

"I don't know. We have a history."

"I know a little of that, Karen," Catherine said. "Way before the Swarm, were your looks everything for him?"

"No."

"Karen, I can track your eyes." She pulled her skirt up to her waist. "Get a good look. Don't trust your eyes, come over and feel my legs if you like." She grinned. "They're pretty damn good, but they weren't always that way." Karen wasn't sure what to do. The door opened and Dolores walked in. Catherine turned back to Karen. "This is Dolores. Dolores makes us all play together. She makes sure people get what they need." Dolores smiled at Karen, but didn't say anything until she stood behind Catherine. Karen had to look up at her, and Karen's eyes got very big when she saw Dolores' neckline.

The family, even in their short time together, had seen times when Dolores went out of character to be subtle, although not very often. This wasn't one of those times. "Hi Karen!" She reached into her blouse. "Meet my girls!" Lifting out the left breast, "This is Shock!" Moving to the side, she lifted out the sister. "This is Awe!"

For the first time, Karen laughed. "You stole that from Dolly Parton!"

"I borrowed it. She can have it back. Damn, girl." Shock and Awe pointed, like cannons, from either side of Catherine's head. "You want to play with these sisters, or those legs she's pointing at you? Both the legs and the boobs point at some pretty damn tasty things." Dolores wiggled her tongue.

Mary was ever so happy Dolores had taken over. Mary could be incredibly tough, making order out of the chaos of a mass casualty incident, but Dolores was moving them into a triple-X version of The Twilight Zone. Given she did not have much else to do, a bit unconsciously; she started to fondle her own breasts.

"Karen, dammit, come over here and get your mouth on something! We're getting cold! Terry said you could get cheered up by hot women, and if we ain't that, I'm going to become a nun." With an indistinct sound, Karen fell to her knees in front of Catherine and wrapped Catherine's thighs around her head. She dipped her face forward to lick Catherine.

Catherine's experience with women was very limited, but not Karen's or Dolores'. Dolores, now that Karen was busy, rubbed her breasts across Catherine's face; Catherine breathed in the lovely musk and started to kiss them. Under Karen's skilled mouth, heat grew in her groin. She could not hold back under the new sensations, and quickly climaxed. The room relaxed.