Chapter 1

Empty.

Empty whiteness.

Yet, I had to be standing on something. My feet were flat on something. A nearly subconscious curl of my toes told me almost nothing. Not rough but not hard or slick. Body temperature and totally innocuous. I could see myself, as naked as the day I was born, not even my watch or wedding band but there was nothing else there. Still, somehow, I knew, just like there was something beneath me, there were also walls and a ceiling surrounding me. Just a room so devoid and bland that there was nothing left.

The strangest thing though was that I wasn't perturbed. Like taking a whole bottle of anti-anxiety pills, I knew I should be freaking out; hell a second ago I was standing in my back yard talking to my wife while my son played in his sandbox five feet away. Instead all there was was calm, inquisitive clarity. "I must have just died." I thought to myself. I knew the thought should have caused me concern. It didn't. A quick flicker of intellectualized condolences for my wife and son and

"YOU'RE NOT DEAD."

Softly rang through my mind. It wasn't heard, it didn't have a voice, it just was.

"YOU'RE GOING ... CAMPING."

"Like tent and sleeping bag, sleeping in the woods kind of thing?" I thought out-loud.

"IF YOU'D LIKE."

"Not exactly."

A different thought. A different source. There must be more than one person? Thing? What was this? Before the anxiety could build, it crashed like a wave back into the serene non-feeling of a few seconds before.

"JUST PACK WHAT YOU WANT TO TAKE AND GO." The first Big voice intoned.

"Pack what? There's nothing here!" I was still naked as a newborn and there was still just that white nothingness surrounding me.

"Just visualize whatever equipment you want and it will be there for you" came from Small voice.

"Where am I going? How am I getting there? Am I taking the car? Just me? How long am I gone for?..."

"TOO MANY QUESTIONS!" – I could feel Big voice's irritation and Small voice tittering.

"He is more inquisitive than most of the others isn't he?" I don't know if this was directed at me or if I was hearing one side of a conversation between the two but I already liked the second Small voice better.

"You're going to need to pack up whatever you think you would need to live if you were going camping somewhere. It's alright, just visualize what you would want to take and it will be there for you to take."

Then, like I was again hearing the conversation through Small voice's head, I could hear Big voice, muffled and angry "WHY DOESN'T HE JUST TAKE SOME THINGS AND LEAVE LIKE THE OTHERS!?!"

Then more clearly and clearly directed at me;

"YOU'RE NOT TRAVELLING ANYWHERE. AND YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK."

I knew that somehow wasn't right, wasn't the whole truth and wasn't natural. Dread, nausea, bile, anxiety again reared their heads, nearly overwhelming me for all of an eye blink before then crashed into the vast sea of, by now obviously unnatural, manufactured, serenity.

I sat down and started to think about packing. Packing for camping. "Camping my ass" I thought. I somehow knew (and knew that the thought was aided, if not out-rightly planted, by Small voice) that what I packed now would need to cover all my needs. I had to be thoughtful, insightful and lucky if I was going to be prepared. Would I need to travel, I'm sure I would have to hunt, food to tide me over until I found my own, I would need clothes for all weather and things to keep me occupied. A place to sleep! I wasn't a survival guy, my version of camping involved tents, cars and copious amounts of alcohol! I didn't want more than I could take with me (and I somehow knew I couldn't only pack what I could carry, again thanks Small voice). But a sled to pull along behind me? Yes, that would be fine apparently.

I guess I could have visualized up a survival book and sat down to read an equipment sheet but I could sense Big Voice's continued ire. I didn't want to take all day (or night or whatever this was). I did visualize some books though. Just a thought of "I need some wilderness survival books" and The Settlers Guide, Edible Wild Plants, A Field Guide to Wilderness Survival and Primitive Wilderness Living appeared beside me. My new rainy day reading...

Next came a good pack and then I thought hard about a sled. Something like what artic adventurers used, a plastic toboggan that I could pull but with a removable waterproof top. And then, there it was, beside me. More like a waterproof Thule than anything else. It would hold a lot and be fairly easy to pull regardless of weight.

Clothes next. It was summer when I was whisked away but I was mindful I wasn't coming back. Whether that meant I wasn't going back to the same time or I wasn't coming back from the journey it didn't matter, winter clothes were more important than summer. A wool toque, a scarf and pair of ski goggles, thick leather work gloves, fleece liners and outer mitts, two pairs of thick, heavy duty Carhartt work pants, good heavy duty boots and gaiters, some shirts, merino wool long underwear, waterproof winter hunting overalls and parka, a few pairs of good wool socks, some underwear, a pair of lighter weight convertible pants (the type that zip into shorts), a fleece, a big floppy boony hat and a lightweight rain jacket and pants meant my clothing needs were more than met. And a towel, I've read enough Hitchhikers Guide to know to always bring your towel! After getting dressed, half of the remainder went in the pack and the rest in the sled.

A top of the line, dark green, lightweight, expedition quality two man tent popped into existence next, quickly followed by a sleeping bag and inflatable mattress, two heavy duty tarps, one large and one smaller. I was shocked at how small and light the tent and sleeping bags were. Certainly different than my car camping days! Some good climbing rope, some poly and nylon utility rope, lots of thin, strong spectra rope and a couple of rolls of twine came to mind and to my side next.

My mind then turned to food. I couldn't carry enough food to feed me past much more than a week but I was still going to have to bring some food until I could find or kill my own. Plus I had to cook it! A big stainless pot might be big but I could fill it with things so it didn't really take up too much space. Plus it and its lid weren't that heavy. The cast iron frying pan was though! It would last longer than me, even on an open fire and would be indispensable though. A mental plate, cup and bowl, fork, knife and some spoons were next along with a water skin and a big double ended hook to hang the pot over a fire. As for actual food, a few sticks (about 3-4 lbs) of biltong (South African jerky but so so much better) would last for months but would be in my belly faster than that. A big box of energy bars, four of those huge chocolate bars you get at airport duty frees, a large ziplock bag of mixed dried fruit, a kilo of rolled oats for porridge and another of dry roasted almonds would mean that I wasn't going to starve right away. Then inspiration struck and a big container of multi-vitamins, a big jar of instant coffee and a couple kilos of salt and a big jar of pink salt appeared next to me. If I killed something bigger than I could eat in a short space of time I could cure it!