Chapter 8

Her proposal to masturbate for each other was an interesting one. Supposing all she had told me was true, she was going to see her first live penis, and see it in action. She was going to discover if the thought of it made her excited or not. I was going to see her lithe shapely body that I was sure held treasures a man could discover.

"OK," I said, but if it gets to a point where we've defeated my reasons for being conservative, we stop and that's it."

"I understand. Using that word prurient, made me understand a lot about how you feel, and how you want to protect me ... and I heard you say ... you love me, you love me, I heard you say you loved me!" She sang happily.

She got up and came over to my chair and sat across my lap and put her arms around my head and shoulders and held her face close to mine. I puckered and moved my mouth to hers and our lips met. God, it was electric. So soft, yet supple, she kissed quite well, smacking my lips softly until she stayed on them and our lips seem to seal top to top, bottom to bottom. When we opened and our tongues found each other's it was incredible. She tasted so good and her tongue seemed to shadow mine, darting and moving in unison like an old Marx Brothers mirror routine. She pulled herself up closer to, turning her breasts to me. I could feel them through my polo, her hard nipples pressing through the night gown. It was then I realized she had nothing on beneath the night gown, her pajamas were gone.

My sweat short was suddenly full of cock and she was sitting right on it, my length between the crack of her butt and the crease of her vagina. She was working on it as we continued to get deeper and deeper into each other's mouths. She took one of my hands and brought it to her breast. As soon as I squeezed it one of her hands went between her legs and she was rubbing the head of my cock through my pants. I massaged that firm and pointy tit, squeezing and pinching the nipple until she bounced up off of me.

"Oh God, we better take care of business! You are fucking hot!!" She said with a huge smile and she jumped to the love seat and undid the few button stays that kept her night gown together.

Her body was exquisite. Her breasts pointy, full and firm. They were round when she sat up and a pleasant oval when she sat back. Her belly was flat and she had a cute innie navel. Her pussy was perfectly smooth like a baby's. No marks, no hair, no ingrown hair, or stubble. I wanted to eat her SO badly. Her legs and the flare of her bottom were so tempting and when she lifted her feet off the floor and put them to the edge of the sofa to open herself up, her little Mons turning up to reveal the bottom of her butt and the perfect round dilated hole it hid. When she put her whole hand on her pussy and pulled it back her asshole seemed to stick out, a dark mysterious place that looked like I could have stuck a pencil in and she wouldn't feel it for not touching the sides. Using her fingers she began to unfold those perfect little baby lips of her pussy to show her pink and shiny insides. I must have looked like an idiot sitting there drooling when she said.

"Ahem, uh ... shorts? Goods for goods."

I smiled and proudly half stood and pushed them down with my underwear and my cock sprung up. I swear it was longer and fatter than it had been in years. I loved that she smiled and grabbed at her clit with two fingers with her eyes fixed to my cock. I pulled the handle to recline the chair so I could put my knees up like hers, so she could see my balls. She dug at her clit as her eyes grew as big as saucers. I could not hold off any longer I took hold of myself and began to stroke it.

She added a second hand to her pussy, apparently pushing two fingers in and out and the other hand oscillating her clit. Suddenly the sounds from her quim were wet and squishy. She was getting VERY wet and her breathing became labored as her eyes closed and reopened each time a wave was hitting her. Her breath caught over and over again as she played and watched and suddenly her eyes seemed to roll back into her sockets and she squealed loudly holding her pussy with both hands firm and seeming to shake it while she made more gritty, grunty noises. Then a wave of fluid ran from her pussy. Then she repeated the whole scenario, two hard cums before looking back over to me and sort of smiling like, "How do you like that?". I answered her by groaning hard and deep and then breathing harder and harder as I lifted my ass off the chair and shot a stream of cum half way across to her, a big watery splash, followed by another shot to the floor and then oozing down over my cock to my balls to be caught in my underwear.

She looked to me and said, "See, I knew you liked me a lot." and she smiled.

"You apparently care for me too." was all I could muster to say. I was exhausted.

She stood and buttoned up her robe and went to the bathroom and came back and dropped a towel in my lap saying. "Now I can say you HAVE tried to kiss me. I'm going to bed, wake me when you get up and leave me shower time. I'll be OK in my place after tonight. Thank you for everything. You are a sweet man."

"Wait!" I demanded. "You didn't give me your impressions."

"Impressions of what?"

"You've never seen a man live in the flesh before, what did you think?" I wondered.

"Scary, but alluring. I've never had anything that big inside of me. The smell combined with mine makes something that would make any couple want to be with each other. I guess I can't describe what I mean. I've seen a man cum before in porno, but always on a woman's face or in her mouth. This was beautiful and I know I'm not ready for it. I need to go and think about all this. I'm confused, but it's not bad. I'm happy we did it. Good night, Jess." She said in a staccato rant.

In the morning I was up early and showered before knocking on her door and she called out she was up. I was having coffee and reading the paper when I heard her pad from the shower back to my guest room. In another 5 minutes I heard my hair dryer (that I didn't use anymore but left out for her) and very quickly she was at my table drinking coffee.

She hadn't really said much and I expected she might come out and kiss me, or hug me, but she quietly poured coffee and prepared it and sat. After a few minutes she reached over and touched my hand, and pulled hers away quickly.

"Thank you for last night. You satisfied a lot of questions and answers for me. It was a mistake in the fact that I bit off more than I should have. But, I'm glad it happened. I really wanted to kiss you, and I wanted you to kiss me. If we become anything more than we are right now, I think we'll do well together. I understand that it was too fast and I understand you do not want us to be prurient, my new word. Last night was not prurient, it was spontaneous and heartfelt. I also realize that when I "caught" you saying you "loved" me, I know it was not the kind of love that people have to make love. It's the kind of love that says you care and are invested in my well being. I just had a curtain of tension to tear down. One thing I did discover last night, a man lover would be much sexier than a female lover for me. The fear of God was the only thing that kept me from running over and jumping on you, touching you and tasting you. I realize now that those things are off in a distance for us, if they happen at all. They have to be, you understand, for my mental well-being. I now understand so much of what my doctor tells me, what you've tried to get through to me. I'm a pretty fucked up person right now and when I'm ready to see you in a situation beyond work and light socializing, I'll ask you on a date. I don't want to color what I'm coming to grips with and effect what we are or might be. Is that OK?"

"That is quite fine," I responded. "For the first time since all of this came out that I know you have thought about and understand the depth of what changes you are trying to accomplish. I'm always there for you. Know that. I, obviously, want to become your lover, but if that never happens and we still remain friends, that will be fine as well, as long as you're well."

"I know that." She said with a smile that told me she had found some peace in her night with me.

Whether her getting physically ill truly got the "poison" out of her or whether the symbolism of it struck a hard chord, it was the beginning of her road back. Her insecurity of my not trying to kiss her was ironed out in many ways.

I saw her every work morning that I went to the office over the next 3 months, bringing her to work, but always keeping our conversation light. I knew when she had news, she would tell me. I was truly afraid of where therapy may leave her and I wanted to no way color anything she was working on. She continued to be the home run hitter for Mary Belanger and Maribel Designs. They had hired another designer and 2 more artist with Allie looking over most projects and Mary working the new customers and contributing ideas. Mary was toying with the idea of subletting part of my side of the building. I used just over a third of the office space and used the rest for personal storage. If we closed off a hallway and Mary broke through she would have the 2 art rooms she needed. I was ready and able to accommodate her. One afternoon Allie came over to look at the space and see exactly where they might break through. I left her alone to see what she needed to find out and then I got a knock on my door frame. Looking up I saw the bright smile of Allie.