Chapter 7

"She came out from her townhouse to my car a few minutes later and it was apparent she had been crying again. She got in and said little on the way to my townhouse. I went the back way through the area so I didn't have to drive by Mary's place. Just my luck she would stalk me tonight. I doubted it because it was a humid night, a good night to stay in the AC. I had changed into just a tee shirt and sweat shorts.

I offered Allie my bed, but she insisted that the guestroom single bed would be great and she went in and closed the door and I didn't hear a sound for over a half hour. I was just going to check on her when the door opened and she came out in pajamas and a robe.

"I laid down and must have fallen asleep right away. I was so exhausted after heaving. I'm so sorry to put you through all of this drama." She apologized.

"Allie, you've been through a lot and held a lot inside. I'm sure your getting some of it out there is therapeutic, I'm just not sure if I'm the one to hear it." I said as I went to heat up some chicken soup for her.

"I'm sure you don't understand, but I had no friends at school, a few acquaintances, but no one I could really relate to. I was going to class and then coming back to our home. My world was school and that house. I was going home for the "family" holidays and parts of summers, but besides that, it was school, study, and her obsession with me, her control of me. After telling you what I did and then resulting revulsion, I do feel better. I really was releasing the poison." She said as she followed me into the kitchen.

"Hopefully this soup will sit well in your stomach, get you going again."

"You're sweet. Do me a favor? Hug me?" She asked.

I opened my arms and she put her arms around me nestled her head into my shoulder and held on for dear life. I saw her reflection in a mirrored picture in the living room and her eyes were closed, her face a picture of total peace, the worry wrinkle in her forehead relaxed for one of the first times I remember.

I patted her back and rubbed at her spine line and tried to pull away, but she was not ready to give me up saying "Please, a few seconds more, you're my oasis right now."

After a few more moments she freed me and stood back.

"Again, I don't expect you to understand, but just now was the first time I felt any peace in my life since I started high school. I've always had to do this and do that and do it well to the expectations of others. Now I do it for my own satisfaction and this monkey has come off my back. You're right about one thing that I'm finally facing. What's happened, has happened and there is nothing I can do to change it. Time to get the rest of my life, the part I can change, going. Your words echo a lot of what my doctor tells me, but coming from you makes it easier to understand." She said quietly as she pulled out a chair to sit and eat.

I took her soup off the stove and ladled out a bowl for her and for me with a stack of crackers. I poured small glasses of milk for both of us and we began to eat.

"Despite what I told you before, I hope you still hold interest in me. I know I need you as a friend, but I hope we can be more someday. I do find you attractive and interesting. I've never felt that way about any man before." She said rather off handedly.

"In fairness, how many men have you known enough to care for?"

"None, I've never even kissed a man before. The only naked men I've seen were in adult videos we watched. The only penis I've touched was plastic." She said turning red in embarrassment.

"So, how can you think you're attracted to me? You haven't met any others."

"The warmth I feel near you, the way I can see you want to hear what I have to say. If I ever interacted with men before, like at school or out, say in a store or restaurant, they stared at my breasts or I would catch them watching me walk away. Simone told me they were disgusting with dirty minds. From what I saw I believed her. But you are different." She said not looking at me but staring into her soup.

"Nothing wrong with a man looking at you and admiring your body, as long as it's to himself and discreet. It was how and why I first noticed you." I added defending my gender.

"I know that now. I dress to make myself look appealing. If I didn't want people to see me I would dress frumpy and not care how I look. But, you are altogether different." She said looking up from her semi-reverie.

I looked at her, but had no words. This beautiful young girl was trying to tell me how attracted she was to me and I was struck speechless.

"Don't try to downplay my feelings, because they are there and I can do little about them. Whether you ever reciprocate them is another story and after hearing what kind of person I was I don't expect much, but will do what I can to show you I'm a different person." She said to me very matter-of-factly.