Chapter 3

I drove shaking my head at Mary's reaction to me all the way home. When I pulled into my lot her car was parked in my "guest" spot. She got out of the car when she saw me and she had obviously been crying. She came right over to my car door with a pouty lip, waiting for me to get out.

"I'm sorry. I was way out of line in every way. I want to have my cake and eat it too, I guess. Whenever I take up with a guy I guess I always compare him to you, and the one thing you have going for you to me, is you're handy sexually. You're a great friend and we always have fun, but the sex is always great. I really don't want to get married, or have kids, or have to cook, or wash someone else's clothes. I love my life of quiet solitude. I would just miss your sex if you found a girlfriend. I won't stand in your way if you want to go out with Allison."

I put my arm around her and asked her to come up so we could talk in private. She put her arm around my waist and walked to my townhouse and we went inside.

"Here's the thing", she said as soon as we got inside and she sat on one of the stools at my coffee nook. "You've never pressed me for anything more in our relationship once we established that living together was out of the question. I liked that and I got to feel you were mine. If I was serious about you I wouldn't have had sex with three other men over the last year. I knew we weren't exclusive, and I realized you knew it too. Of the three, I had one guy wanting to stay with me every weekend and calling me every day. After 2 weeks I sent him away. Another guy was nice enough to me and lots of fun, but after we slept together the first time he just got too familiar, wanting to walk around the townhouse nude, playing grab ass all of the time and then he, ... tried to put a finger up my butt, God it's so embarrassing. Then I thought I found a guy I might actually be able to live with. He was a nice as you, he never pressed me for more time and actually made me want him to be around more. He was the one guy who didn't want too much from me. Then I found out why, he's married and lives on Indian Lake with a wife and 2 kids. I'm such a loser."

Mary started crying and I went to her to comfort her as best I know.

"Mary, you're not a loser. You know how I feel about you, and you were lucky enough to have 3 men chase you. You're a great looking woman, and as good a companion as any man could hope for. I know you as well as anyone and we tried to be a couple and neither one of us were happy, unable to handle the little quirks and sacrifices that go with it all. I can't let you own me, just like I can't own you. I've known you were sleeping with other men, and it never made a difference to me. But since I found that out I've let you call the shots as to when it might happen for us."

"How did you know?" She wondered.

"Somebody was using the condoms in your drawer, you know, where you keep that box of tissues? Since you told me they were there, I go in and steal one on occasion ... Uh a tissue, not a condom." I said with a chuckle.

"I know you and I are safe, but I make everyone else wear a condom." She said blushing.

Mary finally calmed down and had everything in perspective, or so it seemed. She got up and came over to me and hugged me. "If you want to ask Allison on a date, I won't stand in your way, just know she's delicate and probably a soap opera. If you ever sleep with her just let me know in some subtle way. I don't want to cause trouble for anyone."

"Mary, I don't need your permission. We don't have a relationship except as friends, with benefits." I said making sure she was clear.

"I know. You're right. God, how do I make today disappear? I've embarrassed myself so." She said.

"Mary, we can try again to have a man and woman relationship where we look after each other's needs, do things to make each other happy besides sex. Attempt to bring our lives together." I said, giving her the chance if that is what she REALLY wanted.

She thought for a moment and looked at me and said, "No, that's not what I want at all. I want you when I want you, you know, outside of our normal friendship. I don't think I can ever live with a man again."

"Maybe with a woman?" I asked half serious.

"God NO! That's probably half of what's bothering me today. When I brought her to her hotel I went in to make sure she was OK. While I sat and we talked I thought about going over and just kissing her, seeing what it might be like. When my mind told me I was brave enough to do it, I almost vomited right there. She is so pretty, but NO, not that. Disgusting!"