Chapter 1: The two late children

Sarah:

The surprising death is a difficult thing and bigger pain for our soul than somebody who is in serious illness. Then we know that death will come inevitably and we can prepare our soul for the end. However I lost my dear husband in a flash. He simply fell on the ice breaking his legs, but drops of bone marrow entered his bloodstream. He died in pulmonary embolism. I became a young widow at the age of forty-seven years.

George (my husband) was five years older, than me. Our three children all left our midwest city. Our older daughter Vanessa lives in Hawaii, our younger daughter Margaret in Maine and our son Peter in Louisiana. All our children had kids, so I could not say I go to that or this city to help them with my grandchildren. I did not know what I would do in the far future.

I came from a poor family, my mom was a divorcee with two children and my dad was lost in the big country without leaving a trace after the divorce. He wanted to avoid paying child support and alimony to my mom, and hiding one's identity was more manageable thing at that time. Yes we were before nine eleven. My mom worked as a waitress in a better class restaurant, but she raised my brother and me well. We both graduated from high school and my brother, Bob went to Police Academy. After 25 years of Police service he is working as a security boss for a racecourse now. Bob lives happy life with his wife and they are grandparents from their two daughters now. I went to work at a dressing shop as a shop assistant, where I met my late husband. George was an apprentice in a chemical firm after his graduation from college. He had been to this shop several times before to buy something. He had just broken up with his girlfriend, he accidentally asked me for a date. Dating was nothing new to me for I had some boyfriends earlier, I accepted his offer and after a very brief courtship I was married at the age of twenty years old. We received some money as a wedding present from his brother, James, so we able to begin our marriage in a nice house.

Now I owned a beauty salon in one of the Malls in my city. This beauty salon was a successful business, employing twelve ladies. My late husband was a successful manager at a local chemical company and we were wealthy people. I did not have a college degree, so I undertook cosmetic and hairdresser training, which enabled me to work in a beauty salon, when my youngest daughter was twelve years old. For five years I worked as an employee, when the owner wanted to retire, my husband and I decided to purchase the beauty salon from her. We almost had all the money, but a bank loan was required to make up the difference. It only took five years to pay off the loan for the beauty salon.

George's brother, James was sixteen years older, was an extreme successful businessman a multimillionaire at that time. He owned a construction firm, as well as many other investments. He was an architect and he liked his younger brother, but he assisted his sister too. George had a fourteen-year-older sister Nancy, but she moved to California with her husband and their two daughters. My husband was a late child, who was born, when his older siblings were ready to start their adult lives. However the three siblings had a close relationship irrespective of the age difference or the far distance they lived apart. James was married with two sons, when I knew him. We visited his big house for family events. Nancy's and my family received large sums of money from James at every Christmas. We tried to give some type of valuable presents to his family, but we were the loser every-time in this competition. Uncle Jim was very popular among our kids and Nancy's kids alike. My husband and I were successful, but we were not as wealthy as James's family.

George had a very funny habit, he preferred milk to beer, and he did not like distilled alcoholic drinks. I did not think his taste would be a sexual nature at all. We lived the ordinary sex life of married couples with children having sex three times a week was our average. When I began to wean my last baby Margaret, I felt a strong attraction to my breast from my husband. During sex he got small milk portion from my breast, when he kissed and licked my nipples, he tasted my milk for first time in all of his life. I am honest in saying we were lucky, because I belonged to that women's group, which felt euphoric, nursing my children. I was a little confused about his almost accidental nursing during sex that I began to talk about it. So George admitted his most secret sexual fantasy to me. First I was astonished totally about this. He dreamed about such Planet in our Galaxy, The Milky Way, where the women nurtured their lovers, husbands with so much milk, that they did not have to eat other food. He admitted he dreamed of breastfeeding while engaging in sex. First I told him that his sexual fantasy was weird and in fact disgusting, etc. This concept was a very strange thing to me to grasp. However I thought a lot about this thing the next days and I was lucky that since I loved my husband so much. I was able to change my mind and I told him I would be willing to try it for him. Only I had a request, this sexual activity had to be a secret from the world, my family and friends. We began an adult nursing relationship or as abbreviated as ANR.

The Internet was in its infancy at that time, so the possibility of finding information on ANR was zero. We did not know this connection was named ANR. We discovered this accidentally and we were pioneers of ANR. Later we wrote articles for ANR sites on the Internet to encourage others. However we were alone with ANR at that time. We were glued in a tighter connection, so at the time of death of my husband, we were in a deeper love than when we got married.

James was a heavy smoker, so it was not surprising that he developed lung cancer. The late diagnosis of his condition made the treatment of the disease by the doctors pointless for his body was full of metastases. Palliative care was organized at the hospice. George helped him and was present when he died. Martha became a widow while her two sons managed the firm after the death of their father. His older son was a college graduate with business administration qualifications and the younger son was an architect like his father. They could quite well divide the tasks between them. Our three children also went to college but they went far from home after their graduations. Our two daughters graduated in business administration and our son in oil industry engineering. I remained alone here, when George left me to also be a widow two years after James's death.

The heritage procedure was according to George's will, each child got the one-sixth of our cash savings, and I received the remaining half of the savings, along with the house and the cabin at a small lake. However I got a surprise, because the will contained a codicil, which required me to visit a lawyer for additional information. This was very strange. I prepared to visit this lawyer in his office, after asking for an appointment. I arrived there in time. We introduced each other. Thomas Williams was an older lawyer who worked in this lawyer office more than forty years, an expert in family law. He closed his office door directing me sit at his table, after his condolences to the death of my husband.

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