Chapter 8

The next morning, Mom pulled me aside and said we were going for a walk. We put on shoes and took the path that went to the spring that watered the ranch. I don’t think she knew what to do. That’s because she said, “Kylie ... I don’t know what to do.”

I had a pretty good idea what she was talking about, but I said, “About what?” anyway.

“About you having sex with your uncle,” she said, patiently.

“I didn’t actually have sex with him,” I said. “I just sat down on him and he accidentally went in me.”

“He told me you wouldn’t get off,” said Mom.

“Oh,” I said. How do you explain something like that to your mother?

“Kylie, honey, I was sixteen once. I had sex for the first time, once. I’ve been there, honey.”

I expected her to tell me a story, or make a point. But she stopped, and we trudged along for another twenty five yards or so.

“Why do you need to do anything?” I asked.

She stopped. Her mouth was hanging open.

“Because you could get pregnant!” she said, heatedly.

I got a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach that my mother somehow knew about all those pills that had gone down the toilet. Why else would she be worried that he’d gotten me pregnant? I didn’t know what to say, so I fished a little bit.

“Well ... if he got me pregnant, then that’s already done, isn’t it?” I asked.

“I’m not talking about last night!” she snapped. “I’m talking about the next time!”

Now that was interesting. I hadn’t thought there was the possibility of it happening again. I mean everybody had been pretty upset about it last night, you know? I wanted to confirm that there really would be a next time, but I was afraid if I gave her any wiggle room, she’d recant or something. I went with safe.

“Oh,” I said. “Right.”

“You’re too young to start having sex,” she said.

Again, I felt like if I argued, her position would just get harder and harder. Instead, I tried humor.

“I’m not sure how to go about taking it back,” I said.

“And now that this has happened, who knows what ideas Brinn will get in his horny little mind,” she muttered.

I could tell her what ideas he had in his admittedly very horny little mind, but I didn’t think that would help. Her comment about getting pregnant, however, came to mind and I realized that while I didn’t think Uncle Bob had much of a chance of being a daddy (at least with me) it was a whole different story with Brinn. And Shannon might beat me there. She’d waked him up in the middle of the night to play their new game again. And every time Brinn was in one of us, he eventually got around to that grunting little chant that my mind knew meant he was squirting for all he was worth. The problem was that, while I had a fair idea of how many pills I’d skipped, I had no idea if Shannon was skipping them too. It had never come up in conversation, you know?

But I couldn’t tell my mother about Brinn. She’d already banned him from the bedroom once. She’d for sure do it again if she knew he had started crawling between our legs and was practicing making babies just like she and Uncle Bob were. I decided right then and there that I needed to be much better about taking a pill every day, from now on.

“Well ... we are on birth control,” I said. I hadn’t actually planned on saying it. It just sort of popped out while I was thinking. Maybe it was hopeful thinking. It was the safest thing to say, come to think of it.

The look on her face wasn’t happy.

“The pill doesn’t work all the time,” she said. “I thought I told you that.”

“Yes, but we weren’t having sex then,” I said, also automatically.

“We?”

I tried to deflect. “Habit,” I said. “I think of everything as us.”

She bought it, but went on. “Honey, the best kind of birth control is not having sex.”

“I know that,” I said. “It’s called abstinence. They talk about it at school all the time.”

“So why don’t we try that for a while longer,” said my mother.

This time it was my voice that said, “We?”

She blushed.

“Well not me, of course. I’m grown.”

“So it’s okay if the pill doesn’t work for you,” I said.

She didn’t buy that one.

“It’s not the same and you know it,” she said, her voice level. “If I get pregnant, it’s an inconvenience, but it won’t ruin my life. I love Bob, and he loved me even when I was so stupid that I swallowed what Chuck was selling hook, line and sinker. Your uncle is the finest man I know, and to be completely honest with you, if I did want to have a baby, I’d want it to be his! You, on the other hand, have many, many things to do before you start having babies. You have to finish high school. You’re going to have the chance to go to college, because your uncle has set aside money for that. We could never have done that on our own. When you’ve paid your dues, and have your feet firmly under you, then you can think about having sex!”

She’d gotten pretty wound up, and usually I’d just let her natter on when she was like that. But now she was suggesting that I stay celibate until I was like what? Twenty five or something? That wouldn’t let me stay quiet.

“Mom, I’m not waiting until I’m a quarter of a century old to have a sex life,” I said. I meant it too.

She stopped like her feet had gotten in some kind of instant glue. She looked at me with shock on her face.

“Of course not,” she said. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Well, it’s what you said,” I argued.

“Well it’s not what I meant,” she insisted. “What I meant was that I don’t want you chasing your uncle around, trying to get him to have sex with you every day. Give the poor guy a break. You girls are beautiful, and he’s just a man, after all. Okay, so you had an accident, and yes, I understand that trying to close the barn door won’t get the cows back in the barn. Or something like that. I’m no good at this stuff.” She put her hands on her hips. “Just don’t sleep with him more than once a week, okay?”

She looked confused. I could understand that. She had just said I could have sex with Uncle Bob once a week.

“Wait!” she said.

“Deal!” I yelled.

“No, Kylie!” insisted my mom. “Wait. That’s not what I meant.”

“No way,” I said, smiling. “You said once a week. A deal is a deal.”

“I didn’t mean to say that!” she wailed. “I got upset. It was just a figure of speech.”

“Mom,” I said, going to her and hugging her. Her naked flesh against mine didn’t bother me at all. I think we were used to that by now. “Stop worrying. It was an accident. We didn’t set out to have sex. And okay, it was interesting and all that, but it was so fast I hardly even remember it now. I’m not going to try to take Uncle Bob away from you. Chill out, Mom!”

“I’m not worried about you taking him away from me!” snapped my mother. “I’m worried about the same thing happening to you that happened to me.”

“Well I’m not going to get drunk and...” I stopped. I had a terrible taste in my mouth. It hadn’t been her fault, but I had just made it sound like it was. “I’m sorry,” I said.

But the damage was done. Her face hardened. She looked at me.

“Don’t do anything you’ll be sorry for later,” she said, quietly.

And then she turned and stomped down the trail, back toward the house.

When I got back to our room, Brinn was on top of Shannon.

“You sluts!” I complained.

“I can’t help it,” moaned Shannon. “It just feels so gooood!”

Brinn just grunted. He was sperming her and didn’t want his concentration to be broken by talking to me.

“I hope your pills work,” I said.

“I ran out last week,” she panted.

“Stupid!” I said. Of course the only reason I still had pills was because of all the ones I had forgotten to take. I think at that time I was taking a pill two days and then skipping a day. It wasn’t intentional. I just didn’t think about it, that’s all. Mom hadn’t checked the pill situation in a while, and I was behind on getting rid of the extra ones. I went and got one now, and took it back to my slut sister.

“Open wide!” I ordered. Brinn was still moaning and moving around on top of her. Sometimes he sounded like a puppy right after he spurted one of us full.

She opened, I dropped and she swallowed. I left the room and went to find Mom. Her mood wasn’t any better, but that didn’t matter now. I knew her mood would be really foul if Brinn got one of us pregnant.

“We both need refills on birth control,” I said, just biting the bullet.

“I’ll see to it today,” she said.

Then she ignored me.

So all was not perfect in paradise. I hadn’t seen Uncle Bob all morning. I didn’t figure it would be politically correct to ask where he was. Since Brinn and Shannon were probably still busy (he could go twice in a row when he was motivated. He still can) I decided to go saddle the horse and go for a ride. I didn’t want to go back to the room and get clothes, though, because my brother and sister were probably mating again, but I had on shoes already, so I just went out to the barn and saddled the horse.

Riding naked is interesting. For one thing, without a bra or shirt on, your breasts do the strangest gyrations. You can’t canter too long or your boobs will get really sore. And, of course, if you let yourself get excited, and you’re not wearing panties or pants, then you leak right on the slick leather of the saddle itself. And your slippery skin slides around really well, which means you get a heck of a clitty massage.

So by the time I went around a turn in the trail, and came upon Uncle Bob, who had taken the four wheeler up into the woods to cut some trees and turn it into firewood, I was pretty fired up.

He was dressed, of course. Clothing can be very functional in terms of protecting your skin. It’s just more fun not to wear it when you don’t actually need it.

He was handsome, standing there looking all Paul Bunyan-ish. It was the first time we’d seen each other since his big, stiff penis had slid up into my currently very horny pussy.

“Hi,” I said. I was panting slightly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Wrong?”

“You look flushed,” he said. “And you’re panting.”

“Oh,” I said. I tossed a hand. I could always just be truthful with Uncle Bob. “I’m just horny, that’s all.”

Perhaps I should rephrase part of that last comment. I had always been able to be truthful with Uncle Bob. Apparently, things had changed a little. He just stared at me and didn’t comment. I realized that, in light of what had happened between us the night before, that might have been an indelicate way to phrase things.

“I mean I’m just excited,” I said.

“Right,” he finally spoke. His discomfort seemed to fade slowly away, and it was replaced with something that seemed almost like curiosity.

“So what was last night all about?” he asked.

“You mean the accident?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Was that what it was?”

“Of course it was,” I said. “You don’t think I meant to lose my virginity that way, do you?”

“I never really thought about how you might want to lose your virginity,” he said.

“Oh,” I said. “Actually, I didn’t either. I mean I knew it would happen one day, but I didn’t really think about how it might happen or anything.”

As soon as I said that, my mind supplied the memory of how it had happened ... those first few wild moments when Brinn jumped on me like a bear, and shoved me full to overflowing with his hard prick. Uncle Bob’s penis might have been the first to go on me, but I considered Brinn to be the man who actually took my virginity.

“So you haven’t thought about having sex?” he asked.

“Well ... sure, I guess. I mean a little. But it just seemed like something that wouldn’t happen for a while, I guess.”

“I guess I messed that up for you,” he said.

“Oh, you didn’t mess it up,” I said, automatically. Then I put my hand over my mouth. That was also automatic. “I mean I don’t think of you as messing up anything,” I added. It sounded lame even to me.

“If I didn’t,” he said, thoughtfully. “Then who did?”

I sat on the horse, trying to pretend I was on a mountain top, alone. He was watching me, and his face changed.

“The only other man around here is your brother,” he said. “Don’t tell me Brinn has...” He didn’t finish.

Now I was afraid it would be Uncle Bob who sent Brinn away. So I ran my mouth, trying to defuse the situation.

“He wanted to, but we wouldn’t let him,” I said urgently. “But then, after you went in me ... I mean the damage was done ... right? And he wanted to so bad, and when you were in me it wasn’t bad at all. I even liked it, except it went so fast, and then Shannon butted in. So I wasn’t a virgin any more, and we didn’t think it would hurt anything any more ... because I wasn’t a virgin any more ... you know?” I finally ran down.

He just stood there looking at me, with his face all serious.

“So where was Shannon during all this ... experimentation?”

I blinked. I could try to lie, but while we had been in the bedroom getting our socks fucked off by our brother ... I didn’t know where he had been. So if I said she was someplace and he knew that wasn’t true, that would not further my cause. And he already knew that every time he’d done something to me, Shannon had come along asking him to do it to her too. He knew we shared everything.

“She watched,” I said as softly as I could.

“I see,” he said. “And is that all she did? Watch?”

I was caught now. It would be better to just throw myself on his mercy.

“No,” I said.

“So you weren’t a virgin any more, and that was your excuse to let Brinn...” He still didn’t finish. “Don’t tell me Shannon lost her virginity some way we don’t know about, and felt like it was no longer a problem for her either.”

“When he did it to me, she made him do it to her too,” I admitted.

“Well, at least you told me the truth,” he sighed. “Does your mother know?”

“No!” I gasped. “And you can’t tell her. She thinks I want to have sex with you already. And she got so upset that she said I can’t sleep with you more than once a week. If you tell her about Brinn and us, she’ll freak completely out!”

He was silent for so long I began to wonder if something was wrong.

“She said you could sleep with me once a week?” He finally said.

“She didn’t really mean it,” I said.

“But she said it?”

“You sound like me,” I said, hiding a smile. “I told her the same thing, but she made it quite clear she didn’t mean it.”

“So you were arguing that she had to honor that?”

Now I blinked, and stared at him.

“It’s an easy question, Kylie,” he said. “Do you, or do you not want to sleep with me?”

“It’s not an easy question,” I said. “I love you. I think you’re handsome. I love it when you touch me, and when you give me an orgasm, I want to blow you until your brains fall out.” My hand went right up over my mouth again. I know I blushed, because my face felt like it was on fire.

“Go on,” he said, with a half smile on his face.

“Of course I’m curious about ... things,” I said. “Now, I mean. Before, I just wondered what it might be like. But after last night I kind of know more about what it’s like, and I guess I might be a little more curious now.” I blinked at him several times. “About you, I mean,” I added.

He looked right at me and said, “You know, Kylie, I’ve wanted to fuck your sexy little pussy since you were about twelve. But I knew you weren’t nearly as grown up as you looked, and that you wouldn’t really understand what was going on. Not to mention that it would have broken your mother’s heart. But she knew how I felt about things. I didn’t hide that from her. Our sex life was already as fucked up as a sex life can get. And we were trying to be parents to you guys, but we didn’t know how to do that either. I guess you have to learn how to do that on the fly. And I worried, Kylie, that what we were doing with you and Shannon might go horribly wrong. And I never knew how you felt about all this.” He picked up a towel he’d brought with him and wiped his face with it. “Until now, I didn’t know if I had hurt you or not. But listening to you just now, I realize you’re okay. I didn’t fuck you up. And while your life isn’t anywhere near normal, as that word is defined by most people, I feel amazing relief that you’re as well adjusted as you appear to be.”

He walked up to the horse and put his hand on my bare thigh.

“Are you really okay?”

“You mean about what happened last night ... the accident?”

“That, and everything else. Are you okay with how your relationship with Brinn has changed?”

Things had gone so well that I think the relief of all that kind of oozed out of me.

“It wasn’t such a huge change, really,” I said softly.

“Really?” He looked interested. “You want to tell me that part too?”

I thought about it.

I decided it would be good if our secret wasn’t so secret any more.

So I told him everything.

It’s really amazing when a man you’ve known all your life actually starts thinking of you as a woman, rather than his lover’s little girl. It was hard for me to grasp, at first. I mean I had known Uncle Bob for my entire life, and part of my understanding of him was that he and my mother had a sexual component to their lives. Then there were the bits and pieces of my own life that had Uncle Bob in them in a sexual sort of way. And he had always known almost everything about me.

So when, after that day on which I revealed to him the complete extent of my sexual experience, he began treating me differently, I had a hard time comprehending why he was doing that. By “differently” what I mean is that he looked at me differently somehow. I could just tell. His eyes lingered on me, for one thing. It wasn’t much, but it was different. And when he hugged me, his arms and hands felt different. His kisses were a shade longer, and after every single kiss, even a simple ‘good morning’ kiss, my nipples were erect and my belly was tingling. There was just this something about him that made him seem like, suddenly, he was a lion, somehow. I know that sounds stupid, but I could really tell. It was all very little changes, but they added up to something that puzzled me.