Day 4

With secrets gone, our wings appear.
The sky then calls us to come near.
Though bruised, we fly, the message clear
The sky is not for those who fear.
- from A Journey Between Up and Down, A. Lee

I awoke first, but did not want to move. She was facing away from me and I was snuggled up behind her, my face in her soft hair and my arm under our shared pillow. I lay still and took deep breaths, enjoying her scent and the lingering aroma of our sex. I tried to stop thinking, to just enjoy the sensations, but my thoughts pushed inward crowding out the peace I felt.

As long as I'd known BF, she'd been strong, practical, almost unfazed by things that would stop me in my tracks. She had a pragmatic view of sex-as-recreation that seemed freer than my own more romantic view. Although, laying in bed naked with her, having spent a night reaching new heights of pleasure at her hands might seem to contradict me.

I'd rarely seen her cry, except in anger or frustration, which is why her breakdown last night seemed so out of character. I know I hurt her badly when I surprised her with my new relationship, and even more so when I showed her that I was willing to toy with her, but never become her lover. Even then she did not really break down, except for those tears streaming down her face that still burn in my memory.

I never wanted this to happen; this pain that she felt. After these few days with her, I felt so much regret that I never gave us a chance. She was right, what she said in her pain and anger; we could have had this all these years. I never imagined it could be so good with her.

The craziest part of this whole thing is that while I began to feel so much for her, I felt no less strongly for him. I still wanted him, wanted to taste him, to feel him pushing himself inside me. It makes me greedy, I suppose, but I could not bear to push one of them away, even if they should both choose to leave me if I refused to. It would be an impossible choice.

She began to stir, arching her back into my stomach and breasts, then she turned her head around making quiet morning sounds and I kissed her cheek. She turned around completely and snuggled down into my arms, then raised her face to mine. I kissed her good morning, humming happily the pleasure I felt.

We eventually made it to breakfast, although it was closer to lunch time after a long and interesting shower. It appeared that the bartender said something to the staff, because it seemed like every employee came by to look at us eating and either smiled or frowned depending largely on their gender. We got back on the road and drove the last four hours with the radio blasting.

While she drove, I played with my phone and was catching up on my email when I saw I had received an email from him late the night before. We hadn't had any contact since he left on New Years Day other than a text to say he arrived safely and already missed me. I had been so caught up the last four days that I hadn't done more than quickly reply to that message.

He wondered how I was doing, hoped I was having fun, but also hoped I was missing him. He was back into his school routine, so he was keeping busy and counting down the days until his planned return. I was practically bouncing in my seat, but didn't want my happiness to hurt BF so I kept it to myself. As I read on, he described how much he liked playing piano at our mall. He said that it inspired him and gave him confidence to pick up extra work playing piano in a large hotel downtown, but didn't mention the name.

When the subject of where to stay came up, I pulled up an app on my phone for recommendations. The highest recommendation was a large hotel downtown. I read off the list of amenities to her, but as soon as I said the words "day spa", she stopped me and said, "That's the place."

We arrived in the middle of the afternoon. The hotel was beautiful, with a towering atrium, indoor pool, elegant decor and flowers everywhere. BF squeezed my hand and smiled at me as she led me to check in, insisting again that she pay for the room. The room was lovely and the large bed was soft. I unpacked us both since we planned to stay over the weekend. BF called to schedule an appointment for a massage, wax, and a mani-pedi in the day spa for us both. They had availability, so off we went.

It was heaven. By the time we'd been rubbed, plucked, waxed, trimmed, buffed and polished, we were starving. We went back to the room, showered and dressed in the best clothes we had with us and went down for dinner. The restaurant in the atrium was dimly lit in the evenings and had tables arranged in cozy nooks separated by decorative plants and statuary. As we stood waiting for attention from the hostess, I heard the sound of a piano playing nearby.

I looked around and found him playing in the center of the atrium. He was dressed all in black, swaying a little as he played. BF noticed my attention and I nodded in his direction, "That's him."

BF stared for a long moment then said, "How..." She looked at me puzzled.

I skirted the truth and said, "He never mentioned he worked at this hotel to me." I shrugged, "I can't explain it." BF was silent. Her face unreadable.

The hostess led us to our table. We could only hear him from there, but that was enough for me, for now. BF seemed stressed and ordered a vodka, neat. I asked for hot tea, something black, Assam preferably. When we were alone I could see she was working up to say something, but then suddenly she sighed. She leaned forward and put her arms on the table, taking my hands in both of hers.

"So what do we do now?" she asked.

I said, "Well, I see a few options. You could go chat him up when he takes a break, but honestly, that feels a little sketchy to me. We could surprise him and see how he reacts when he sees me. Is he really happy to see me? Does he seem uncomfortable with being seen with me? We could watch him without speaking to him and see if he meets anyone here, a girlfriend or something"

She thought about it for a bit. "Let's try the direct approach," she said, but I sensed she was uneasy about this. I, on the other hand, was more confident than ever and flushed with excitement.

Our drinks arrived and we put our room number on the receipt. We got up and walked to the bar adjacent to the piano. I watched him closely, waiting until he glanced towards us, then smiled at him and gave a little wave. His eyes opened wide and his jaw dipped in surprise, then he burst into a radiant grin that made me feel like the sun was coming out from behind a cloud. Oh, there was no question he was happy to see me.

BF and I sat with our backs to the bar, leaning back on our elbows, watching him play. When he finished the song he was playing, he swung a boom mic over. He played eight steady chords as an introduction, then sang "She's got a way about her" with a rich baritone that melted me into my socks. When he got to the end, "But I know that I can't live without her any way..." there were tears in my eyes. He got up from the piano to a light spattering of applause and started over towards us.

BF threw back her the rest of her vodka and sat the glass behind us on the bar as we both stood. He scooped me up in a giant hug, spun me around and kissed me soundly. Then he sat me lightly back on my feet, held me at arms length and looked at me in wonder. I said, "Hi."

He just shook his head, grinned, and said, "Hi."

I said, "This is my best friend, BF. She wanted to meet you since she was gone over Christmas."

He stuck his hand out, then shook her hand in both of his. "Nice to meet you, and thank you so much for coming all this way. You have no idea what this means to me."

BF just smiled at him; it even seemed genuine.

His phone buzzed and he excused himself for a second when he saw who it was. He didn't even say hello, "You will never believe it. She's here! I was playing and she walked up with a friend of hers. Well, hurry up! I have to play for two more hours. No, it's cool, just come. Bring them, too. See ya."

He was almost dancing he was so happy. "My buddies were coming up to see my transformation into a lounge lizard, but now they are coming early to meet you two. Please introduce yourself if I'm playing when they arrive."

He leaned close to me to whisper, "I don't know how much you told your friend, but as far as my friends know you are just a friend of my cousin." I explained that she knew, but we would keep to his story.

I felt like a cat in a sunny spot; I just wanted to purr. His enthusiasm was infectious and even BF couldn't resist his charm. By the time he went back to play, she seemed to have relaxed into her old self.

She said, "Damn."

I said, "Yup."

We ordered beers at the bar and sat drinking quietly, listening to him play. After a bit, four guys and two girls came into the area looking around. One girl saw us and approached us asking for me by name. I smiled and we were introduced all around. They all seemed nice and were very friendly. As the conversations flowed, we got to know one another and I saw how they all seemed to really care about my boyfriend. I also got the feeling that they might have reacted similarly to BF and Mom at our sudden relationship. I hoped meeting me had reassured them as much as meeting them had for me.

After he finished his sets, he joined us and we all laughed together like old friends. When it got late, the group slowly broke apart to go home until the three of us were left sitting in the bar. BF had been quiet for a while, listening to us chatter away. It was obvious he would love to have stayed, but it had come up in conversation that BF and I were sharing a single room.

Seeing them both together like this, I knew what I wanted to do, but my impulsiveness had gotten me into enough trouble already. BF tried to slide the room key to me under the table, but I told her no with my eyes. She claimed to need to go to the restroom, so I did the girl thing and got up to go with her. He was still nursing a beer, and said he would wait for us before leaving.

When we got to the bathroom, BF was breathing heavy, trying not to let her emotions overwhelm her. I'd never seen her like this. I tried to touch her, but she pushed me away. "No, no, I can't. I can't."

I managed to grab her hand. "Stop. Stop, please. Listen to me."

She had wild, wet eyes, she was utterly heartbroken. "Oh God, you were right. How could you be right? Not now, not yet. Please, I can't take it. I can't lose you."