Chapter 85

0945 hours, local time
Saturday, 1 November, 2014
The Grand Convocation Hall
The City of Haven, Province of Oregon
The Commonwealth of Haven

“So, my friends, we light this eternal flame to remember Massacre Day, as we decreed last year. Though all victims of the attack have been resurrected, we cannot forget this horrific event and incident in our national history, the effects and impact of which we shall feel for generations to come. Every Massacre Day in the future, in perpetuity, we shall recall this day and all of its consequences.

“In honor of this day, we offer to resurrect anyone this instant who shall offer themselves in sacrifice to this occasion and for the greater good of humanity. We invite those so inclined to do so, as we shall for every year to come at this time. Just understand this. You will be revived as Undead, if necessary for military duties, if not, then not, but anyone who is Undead will be our lovers, our friends, and our kindred, but also our playthings. Know well what you choose,” I announced solemnly as I lit the flame.

I was not prepared for what followed. Before anyone could volunteer to take their own lives and surrender their flesh to my eternal service, Lizzy Caplan, Oona Chaplin, Natalie Tena, Deborah Ann Woll, Lynne Collins, Rosario Dawson, Jennifer Connelly, Kit Harrington, Rose Leslie, Shannon Elizabeth, Tara Reid, Frances McDormand, Penelope Anne Miller, Maisie Williams, Sophie Turner, Sibel Kekilli, Hannah Murray, Esme Bianco, Teresa Ann Savoy, Michelle Forbes, Rutina Wesley, Linda Purl, Ashley Benson, Anne Hathaway, Lindsay Lohan, Christie Brinkley, Christy Turlington, Kate Upton, Hillary Duff, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, Marisa Tomei, Cindy Crawford, Rande Gerber, Maria Bello, Jennifer Garner, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jake Gyllenhaal, Leslie Bibb, Chloe Sevigny, Morgan Smith Goodwin, Ginnifer Goodwin, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Amanda Seyfried, Mena Suvari, Christina Hendricks, Jane Krakowski, January Jones, Jon Hamm, Gemma Whalen, Gemma Atherton, Lucy Liu, Mila Kunis, Laura Prepon, Taylor Schilling, Reese Witherspoon, Lee Lee Sobieski, Edie Falco, Ryan Philippe, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Cash Warren, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Fiona Apple, Jana Kramer, Gretchen Mol, Claire Forlani, Alexis Bledel, Lauren Graham, Robin Wright, Sean Penn, Jasmine Guy, Sharon Stone, Valeria Golino, Christine Taylor, Virginia Madsen, Lori Loughlin, Yasmine Bleeth, Erika Eleniak, Kristy Swanson, Diane Neal, Stephanie March, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ariana Grande, Jennette McCurdy, Gina McKee, Olivia Williams, Olivia Wilde, Olivia Munn, Aubrey Plaza, Alexandra Daddario, Olivia D’Abo, David Schwimmer, Matt Le Blanc, Matthew Perry, Ileana Douglas, Matt Dillon, Illeana Douglas, Mariel Hemingway, Nigella Lawson, Giada De Laurentiis, Nicole Eggert, Terry Farrell, Marina Sirtis, Melina Kanakaredes, Carice Van Houten, Jenniefer Lawrence, Lucy Griffiths, Amanda Peet, Sarah Jones, Morena Baccarin, Natasha Henstridge, Megan Gallagher, Demi Moore, Bonnie Bedelia, Megan Follows, Rebecca De Mornay, Morgan Fairchild, Elizabeth Hurley, Patsy Kensit, Jessica Hecht, Amy Yasbeck, Lysette Anthony, Daryl Hannah, Catherine Bell, Elizabeth Mitchell, Jamie Luner, Peter Gallagher, Sandra Bullock, Dermot Mulroney, Molly Parker, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, Elizabeth Berkeley, Annabella Sciorra, Valentina Cervi, Lara Flynn Boyle, Molly Ringwald, Winona Ryder, Nikki Cox, Elisabeth Shue, Kim Cattrall, Rachel McAdams, Rhona Mitra, Vanessa Marcil, Robin Tunney, Poppy Montgomery, Roselyn Sanchez, Sherilynn Fenn, Amy Smart, Madchen Amick, Ashley Judd, Jami Gertz, Kate Mara, Rooney Mara, Tamlyn Tomita, Jessica Lange, Sam Neill, Linda Fiorentino, Jennifer Grey, Laura Fraser, Claire Danes, A.J. Langer, Zoey Deschanel, Emily Deschanel, Melanie Lynskey, David Boreanaz, Charisma Carpenter, Sasha Alexander, Joely Richardson, Joey Lauren Adams, Lisa Edelstein, Joan Severance, Shannon Whirry, Billy Zane, Laura Linney, Fairuza Balk, Laura Dern, Dina Meyer, Jennifer Tilly, Suzy Amis, and Jill Hennessy, all appeared before me and slit their own throats as a new gesture intended to impress others and set an example.