Chapter 67

“Allow me to present you with a gift, Master!” Nydia surprised me while I humped the hell out of Serena Moon on my new bed.

“Gift?” I asked.

“Yes, from your father. Your REAL father. You see, Jehovah stopped trusting human fathers with siring His Prophets and Lawgivers. He tasked two angels with impregnating a Jewish matron with proven fertility whose husband lacked interest in sex. Hershel was already born by then, of course. Not wishing to give just any angels the job, he sent Michael the Archangel to sire a child on Gloria Schumacher.

“He sired Rachel. Yes, Rachel’s father was Michael. And yours was Gabriel, another Archangel. Yes, Herschel’s old man was indeed a Nazi. Due to a hate fuck. That you all had the condition known as ‘Schumacher Syndrome’ was to hedge all bets. You, my dear old man, are half-angel, half-man,” Nydia explained with a wink.

“Anyway, my gift to you is this. Mina Halleck. She’s been revived and is now assigned to you as one of your Undead ... but first, if you’ll do the honors, my son,” Gabriel beamed at me, his angelic might and majesty making it clear to me that I was always something superhuman, with a father such as he.

“Why did Gloria turn so quickly?” I asked while noticing just how pretty the newly risen Mina was compared to her old self.

“Because she wasn’t turned. She infected Hershel, not vice versa. You and Rachel had a sort of incubation period that took effect upon your fourteenth birthdays. Michael and I thought that we had the right woman. In many ways, we did, but in one important way, we didn’t. She had no scruples at all ... far too few in hindsight.

“We should have transmitted the condition directly to you two with the incubation period of fourteen years, not indirectly through your mother. We thought that she was a mostly good woman who just happened to be neglected by a husband who found sex messy and disgusting. She was even more disturbed than him ... and Hershel more than her, of course. Since none of us knew what Hershel could or would be, it was allowed as a backup plan, but he was never originally intended as a potential Prophet or Lawgiver.

“Now you know why Rachel was so horny and often had to jill off so much. She was far more frustrated from her fourteenth birthday than anyone knew ... and so were you. Odds were, if Gloria had propositioned either or both of you, it would have resulted in an affair. The days of your innocence and virginity were numbered from that day, your fourteenth birthday, both of you.

“If either of you had dared to make advances upon each other, that would have led to incest, too. And Marcy could easily have bedded you back then, as you know. Too bad that the two of you didn’t take each other and Marcy as lovers, but better late than never. Also know that the other Prophets that have been chosen, and there are several ... all of them have angelic fathers. All of them. None of them are fully human.

“None of their appointments is an accident. Even without Schumacher Syndrome, they would have spread some version of the same condition to others. It might be redundant, but said issues just naturally come with that territory. Better redundancy than inadequacy, after all,” Gabriel continued in his capacity as a herald of Heaven.

“Also, it has been determined that now not even the Undead are immune to Schumacher Syndrome. At all. After all, we don’t want to leave any lovers unturned, do we?” Marcy winked at me while Gabriel and she joined us for a rapidly growing clusterfuck.

Judging from the expression on Mina’s face, she couldn’t be happier to be turned.