Chapter 32: Self-Interest

-- WEDNESDAY, MAY 10, 2006, FINALS BREAK --

I felt something tickle my balls, and with a start, I jerked awake.

"Mmph!" somebody groaned, and as I sat up, I realized I'd just shoved my dick an inch into a girl's throat. She took it like a trouper, gagging only slightly and keeping her head down, breathing heavily through her nose until I pulled back. And then she resumed rhythmically pumping my shaft in her hands and sucking on the mushroom head as if I'd never interrupted her.

My eyes fluttered for a brief second, giving me just enough time to see the golden blonde head bobbing up and down in my lap before my heavy eyelids closed themselves. The first thought into my head was the image of a young woman's face, astonishingly beautiful. Her eyes were a golden hazel and her smile so perfect that I wanted to fall in love with her at first sight. The second thought to enter my head was that I'd happily give up absolutely everything in exchange to have this exact feeling every morning for the rest of my life.

She was a world-famous supermodel lusted after by millions, both male AND female given the public perception of her sexuality. But of those millions, only a select few ever actually got to be with her even just once (well, MALES at least), and I counted myself quite lucky to be one of them. But I didn't want it to be just once. I wanted to be with her over and over and over again. I wanted her to permanently be in my life.

She used to be a constant presence. While we'd started off as mere acquaintances, neighbors who lived on the same street but ran in different high school crowds, time and circumstance had changed all that. First we'd become lovers. Then we'd become friends. And finally we'd become family.

Until she was gone.

Oh, she always came back, short visits to get her fix of the only cock she'd take into her body for the rest of her life. Like putting on a comfortable old sweater, we'd immediately fall into a zone of familiarity and act as if we'd never been apart. But all too soon she would leave again, taking a piece of my soul with her wherever she went.

In this moment, feeling her throat contracting around my shaft and sending ripples of exquisite pleasure throughout my nerves to explode in my brain, I swore to heaven I'd dedicate my life to remaining by her side if only I could feel this every morning for the rest of my life.

And it wasn't even morning.

Already weakened by blood loss, injury, and drowsiness-inducing prescription drugs, my poor body couldn't hold up after all the drama of the day. Shortly after Adrienne's invitation to move to New York with her, I'd excused myself to take a nap and fallen asleep with Sasha sitting up by my side, stroking my newly bald head.

I didn't know how long I'd napped, but the sky outside the window had obviously darkened. Still, even without a single lamp on inside my bedroom, there was enough light to show me Adrienne Fucking Dennis' brilliant meat-filled smile when I cracked my eyes open and stared down my own body.

"Have a nice nap?" she chirped with a smirk after popping off my prick. The busty blonde bombshell lapped at my cockhead like a kid with an ice cream cone a few times before raising her head to resume her up and down bobbing motions. And she hummed happily while caving in her cheeks to give me even more intense suction.

"Unnnghh..." I groaned rapturously, lifting a hand to caress her cheek. She smiled around the mouthful of cock, giving me a few more strokes before pulling away one last time and pushing herself upright.

"You up for this, Tiger?" Adrienne asked while getting to her knees and lifting the hem of the red dress she'd worn into The City this morning. She must have removed her panties while fellating me, and her labia were already wet and spread wide in anticipation.

"I don't know," I replied, staring at her bare-shaven twat. "But I sure wanna find out."

Grinning, my gorgeous blonde-haired/hazel-eyed "sister" shuffled on her knees over my lap and reached down to take my waving prick in hand. After swiping my mushroom head through her moist folds, her eyes fluttered as she centered it against her clit and briefly rubbed her love button against my cock.

I let her rub her little eraser nub with my stiff pencil for a few seconds, until I couldn't stand the anticipation any longer. Reaching underneath her dress and grabbing her by the hips, I dragged her torso forward so that her wet pussy smeared her arousal along my shaft from balls to tip, until I felt my cockhead probing her entrance. And without further delay I yanked my hands down, sheathing my shaft right down to the root.

"Unngh, fuck!" Adrienne grunted at my penetration. She closed her eyes and bowed her head for a moment, focusing inward on the sensations.

Meanwhile, my hands went to the scoop-neck of her top. Big red buttons tried to contain her massive 36F rack, and no matter how tired I might be I found new reserves of energy as I watched inch after creamy inch of mammary flesh revealed as I opened each one.

When I'd unbuttoned her dress down to her navel, Adrienne reached up to pull the two halves of fabric apart for me. Sliding both hands around her back, I found the clasp to her lacy black bra and deftly unhooked it. And then all of a sudden Adrienne couldn't rip her clothes off for me fast enough.

First she yanked down her dress' shoulder straps. Next she tore off her bra. Then she grabbed my shoulders and yanked me upright, slamming my face into her cleavage with just as much force as I'd used to impale her. And finally she grabbed onto the top of the headboard, using it as leverage to hump herself up and down my rod while screaming like a banshee.

My hands went to the sides of her big hooters, squishing the titflesh against my cheeks until I could imagine myself happily suffocating in her cleavage. Hard pink nipples felt like game console controllers against my thumbs, and I playfully manipulated them to make her squeak and squeal and gyrate her body in increasingly wild movements on my cock.

But I'd only been released from the hospital yesterday and I was still hopped up on painkillers and antibiotics. And despite the nap, I still didn't feel up to my usual energy levels. So after only a couple of minutes of vigorous upright shagging, I started to get winded and had to let myself flop backwards against my pillow.

Adrienne didn't slow down at all. Still gripping the top of the headboard, she humped and thrust and swiveled her hips like her life depended on it. It was my first sex act since Carter's, and she seemed determined to make it memorable. Those massive jugs bounced and swayed in every direction only inches above my head while she fucked herself on my upright column of meat. She clenched and milked me with her inner muscles just the way she knew I liked it. And when she felt her own orgasm approaching, she dropped her tits down on top of my chest, sealed her lips over mine, and hammered her pelvis up and down so fast and so hard that I felt myself joining her in orgasmic ecstasy.

"RRRRAAAGHHH!" I suddenly groaned as my ejaculation overtook me, a little bit by surprise. With my reputation and skill, I was certainly used to lasting much longer than this. But it WAS my first time back in the saddle, and I couldn't bring myself to hold back one iota as I felt my balls clenching and wave after wave of cum spraying upwards into my lover's welcoming body.

"AAAHHHHH!" Adrienne screamed as she felt me hosing down her insides. Her arms suddenly cinched around the back of my head, holding me tight as she crushed our lips together so hard that it rattled my teeth. I felt her pussy muscles spasming as her own orgasm matched mine, and together we made spastic humping motions while my cock continued to fire spitwads of spunk into the back of her womb.

Eventually, the world surrounded us once again. When my mind returned from that state of emptiness and bliss, I found myself gasping for oxygen while Adrienne's body slumped against mine, fully naked except for that red dress bunched up around her waist. Our lips had separated, but she was using hers to nuzzle my neck and shoulder while I cradled her body in my arms. And when I found enough energy to speak, I mumbled, "I don't ever want to let you go."

"Me, neither," she replied, just as out of breath as me, more so because she'd pretty much done all the work. "But I want you to know that you don't have to move to New York with me to make that happen. I've made my decision: I'll stay here with you if you don't want to go."

I blinked and turned my head to look down at her. She felt the motion and looked up at me as well. "You serious? What about the new contract?"

"Nothing really wrong with my old contract. At the very least, having a new offer might prompt Ford to sweeten my deal. And to be honest, my relationship with Taylor is good enough that I think they'd still sign me even if I didn't move to New York. I'm in demand and can pretty much name my own price."

"But it would be easier for you to get work if you were over there."

"Well ... yeah..." she admitted. "But it's not like I can't find work closer to home, and maybe being picky about which jobs I take will ultimately increase my price and help avoid overexposure. At the end of the day, the most important thing to me now is staying with you. Period. I think we've been apart long enough."

"I'd like that," I said warmly.

"Me, too." She tilted her face up and kissed me again.

We remained lip-locked for quite a while, expressing our love and reminding each other of how important we were in each other's lives. But eventually I had to take a break to breathe, and despite our passions being re-inflamed by the kiss, my cock had started softening and I knew I didn't have the energy for another round.

Perhaps realizing it as well, Adrienne sighed mournfully and gave me a resigned shrug as she dismounted me and grabbed a tissue to dab at her leakage. "Of course, the whole thing was a pipe dream from the very beginning. There's no way in hell Mom and Dad would let us move across the country, not right after they read all us kids the riot act about being more careful and promising they'd give us a little more visible oversight. Now MAYBE if you HADN'T gone and gotten shot..."

"Gee, so sorry my nearly getting killed is SO inconvenient--"

She shut me up with another kiss, and we both started chuckling into each other's lips. When she pulled back, she sighed and said, "It was never going to happen anyway."

"I'm sorry," I said more sincerely. "As great as the idea of a fresh start in New York sounds, I can't keep running away from my problems. First and foremost, I'm not abandoning Kim. Now maybe if she agreed to move to New York with us, sure, but knowing what I know about her Dad, hell will freeze over first. And even beyond Kim, I don't really want to move so far away from our sisters."

"I know, I know. Still, getting to play with you AND all those hot models Taylor knows woulda been ... well... fun."

I chuckled. "Maybe we can visit."

Adrienne brightened. "How about a summer trip? We could head out for a month or two, I can do a few gigs, and we can network with the other models in Taylor's agency. We can still come home before school starts, and of course be back well before Kim gives birth."

"Hmm ... it's a thought," I mused. "But speaking of Kim, I'm going to have to visit very soon. Tomorrow, I think, though I may need you to drive me if you can get away from work."

Adrienne nodded. "Like I said: I'm in demand. I did have something scheduled, but I already warned them that this week wasn't going to be good after everything that happened Saturday night."

"Andie, on the other hand, I should have already called this morning at the latest. And I need to track down Amber. I honestly don't know why either of them hasn't called ME yet."

Adrienne shrugged. "You'll work it out."

Just then, my stomach started growling. Both Adrienne and I looked down at it, and together we started laughing. "First, though, I think I'd better eat something before my blood sugar drops too low."

"Don't worry about it. Sasha and I rock-paper-scissored to see who had to make dinner and who got to come up here and wake you up. She won."

I arched an eyebrow. "SHE won?"

Adrienne nodded with a smile. "She won, but told me to go ahead and come up here anyway. That girl is something special, Tiger."

I sighed and smiled. "I know."

While we were getting dressed, I asked Adrienne if she thought dinner would be ready and she guessed it would probably be another ten minutes based on how long we'd been fucking. Though physically wiped out after having sex, I was mentally charged up to start tackling my issues head-on. Figuring I could invite Andie over for dinner and give us a chance to talk, I retrieved my phone and held down her speed-dial number while kicking back to watch Adrienne try to button up the front of her red dress.

Andie picked up on the second ring. She seemed excited to hear from me, as she was pretty giggly on the phone. We exchanged quick pleasantries before I got down to business and asked, "Hey, do you think you could come by the house tonight? My family is all gone, Sasha's making dinner, and I'd like to catch up."

Andie's giggles picked up a notch but she managed to explain, "I'm WAY ahead of you. Come on downstairs."

It took me half a second to figure out what she meant. "You're already here?"

"I'm in the kitchen helping Sasha finish dinner. Oh, but before I hang up, Sasha wants to know if Adrienne managed to get your equipment working."

I chuckled and blushed, my pink color prompting Adrienne to look up and ask, "What?"

"The girls want to know if you, quote, 'got my equipment working'."

"Gimme the phone," she said, snapping her fingers and holding out her hand. Bemused, I gave it to her, and she smirked and explained into the microphone, "He's nowhere near 'Big Ben' levels, but he's fully functional!"

I couldn't hear Andie's response, but the way Adrienne's grin split her face was enough to get the gist of what was being said. Moments later, Adrienne told her we'd be right down, hung up, and handed the phone back to me.

The whole exchange had been relaxed and merry, which did a lot to put my mind at ease. I'd spent precious little time with Andie since the Cinco de Mayo party and everything that came afterward. Given Sasha's complaints about feeling like an outsider these past few days, I knew Andie had to be feeling the same. I'd been worried that she was saddened by her exclusion, but to hear her acting so giggly and ... well... normal ... was quite a relief.

The good mood carried on through dinner. Adrienne and I arrived downstairs to find that not only had Andie come over, but Kirstie and Jamie as well. Nobody made mention of the shooting or my injuries, and the five ladies nattered on about classes and gossip and Finals as if it were any other school day. We enjoyed our food, we enjoyed each other's company, and by the time the meal was over I figured we all just might be able to pick up right where we'd left off.

Which is why it was such a shock when Andie put her napkin down on the table, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "I'm breaking up with you."

Looking around the table, I saw that my jaw was not the only one hanging open. Sasha was the first to recover, giving Andie a concerned look and reaching over to rub the back of her friend's hand.

Kirstie's mouth flapped open and closed a couple of times before she frowned and asked, "Now?"

Jamie sighed and patted Andie's shoulder, asking, "Are you sure you want to do this now?"

Andie gave me a grimly determined look, but a moment later she let her shoulders slump and bowed her head for a moment while closing her eyes as her resolve seemed to crumble. "No, I'm not sure," she replied before picking her head up and giving me a determined look once again. "Not sure, but I'm still going to do it."

Sighing in resignation, I nodded and agreed, "It's better this way, isn't it?"

"Of course," Andie muttered bitterly and shook her head. "You're not even upset about it."

I grimaced and sighed, "I can't say the thought hadn't already crossed my mind, especially in the last few days."

She nodded. "Me, too. But even though we seem to be in mutual agreement, do you mind if we go someplace a little more private?"

I glanced around the table and Adrienne reached for my plate. "You two go on ahead. We'll take care of the cleanup," she offered.

I smiled my thanks and backed my chair up. I'd taken another dose of painkillers with the meal, so didn't feel too bad. Andie got up as well, and after giving me a look to make sure I'd follow, she headed for the stairs.

I followed her into my bedroom, and she stood just inside the door until I'd closed it. But instead of walking over to the sitting area, Andie raised her right hand and swiftly slapped me across the cheek.

"Oww!" I exclaimed, more surprised than hurt as I raised a hand to cover myself. Andie's eyes hardened as she slapped me three more times in quick succession, but I blocked each one with my forearm before she huffed and marched over to the armchairs. Crossing her arms over her chest, she dropped heavily into one of the chairs and glowered at the far wall.

"What the hell was that for?" I complained, letting go of my cheek and staring at my palm for a moment.

"For lying to me last Saturday," Andie growled. "You told me you and Adrienne 'had to take care of something'. You told me it was 'nothing for me to worry about'. And then you never came home."

I winced and started walking toward her. "I know. I'm sorry. Obviously, I had no idea how things were going to turn out. I just didn't want you to worry."

"You obviously were worried enough about your health and safety to LIE to me. That means you knew you were walking into a dangerous situation, but you lied to me anyways. And that reminds me." Andie paused to stand up once more, and she started slapping me again while I warded off each blow with my forearms.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed again.

Andie stopped almost as soon as she started, and as she slumped back down onto her chair, Andie growled at the far wall, "Sasha told me to do that to you when I saw you again. For breaking a promise."

"A promise?" I wondered, not remembering.

"You promised to save a load for me. We were supposed to have sex when you got back! Clearly, that never happened."

I winced.

"Don't you know better than to make promises you can't keep?"

I sighed. "I honestly didn't believe there was any chance I wouldn't be able to come home and have sex."

"But you knew you were going into a dangerous situation. And you deliberately hid that from me."

"Of course I did. If I didn't hide it, what would you have done while I was gone?"

Andie frowned. "I'd have worried about what was going on."

"Exactly."

"Well at least that way I'd have been in the same boat Sasha was: here in the house, worried sick about you and Adrienne, knowing that you'd walked into a meth house full of drug dealers. Do you have ANY idea how hard that was for her? All alone and not able to tell anyone where you'd gone?"

"No, I don't." I sighed and sat down in the chair opposite her while miming over the upper-right side of my bald head. "Clearly not one of my better decisions."

Andie sighed and shook her head. "I came by the house just like I said I would. I found Sasha on pins and needles about to lose her mind with anxiety. Adrienne had been texting her to let her know things were alright, but then the texts had stopped and Sasha was just about ready to drive out to find you, damn the consequences. I asked her what was going on, and she spilled the beans immediately. And you know what? I wasn't even worried about you. Not one bit. There's only ONE emotion I felt when she told me."

I took the bait and asked, "What's that?"

"Betrayed."

"Andie..."

"I gave my heart and soul to you. I poured out every emotion I felt in my body and what do I get in return? Lies. Lies about where you're at. Lies about who you're with. If you can lie to me about that, what ELSE have you lied to me about?"

"I never lied to you about anything before."

"I want to believe that, but how can I really know?"

"Because I'm telling you I never did. If I wanted to lie about something to take advantage of you, you already know what the best lie would have been."

Andie glowered at me for a moment before deflating in her chair. Rather sullenly, she muttered, "You'd have lied that you loved me."

I nodded slowly. "I never wanted to hurt you. Things would have been a lot easier for us if I could've returned the same depth of feelings you had for me. There were a lot of times I wished I felt the same way. It's not that I don't care about you; you know I do. I've always been fond of you, from the first time I noticed how you and Jamie kept coming over more often than the others. You're my cutie, and you always worked so hard to make me happy there was no way I couldn't appreciate it. But ... but..."

"But you never loved me."

I spread my hands out and shrugged helplessly. "I'm sorry."

Andie looked ready to spit, but instead she simply stood up and walked away in disgust. "Not like I didn't know already," she muttered without turning back to face me.

On instinct, I went after her. Reaching forward, I slid my hands onto her shoulders and moved to hug her from behind, but she pushed my hands off and spun around.

"No, don't," she protested, holding her palm out to me.

Holding my hands up defensively, I backed up a pace. "I'm sorry."

She blinked twice and pursed her lips, and a second later she shook her head and muttered, "Nevermind." And then I found my arms full of girl as she threw herself into my chest and hugged me fiercely.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, bending down and kissing the crown of her head. "I never meant for things to end this way."

"There were only two other ways it could've ended," she mumbled into my chest. "Either you actually fell in love with me, or you broke my heart and everything ended in tears. I was kinda hoping for the former, but it's never gonna happen, so I figured I should quit before it ended in the latter."

I looked down, saw that despite her words tears were coming from her eyes anyway. And with a mournful sigh, I reached up to brush one away with my thumb. "Looks like you're crying anyways."

Andie raised both hands to cover her face and then pushed her head into my chest again, trying to stifle the tears. But when I bear-hugged her and lifted her into my lap while sitting down on the edge of my bed, the waterworks opened up and she let the flood go.

She'd come to me in righteous indignation and a determination to see this conversation through, but having said her piece and received my acknowledgement that things were over, the sadness appeared to finally be hitting her. Andie had always been a passionate person who wore her heart on her sleeve. She'd been a bubbly, energetic firecracker when I'd first met her as a Tri-Delt Pledge, and nearly three years later she still wasn't the type to keep her emotions in check. And it was those emotions that were taking over now.

We were embraced in what could have been considered a very intimate position, even though we were both fully-clothed. Andie straddled my lap with her legs crossed behind my back. Her face was pressed into the crook of my neck while she wrapped both arms around my head and shoulders. And she sobbed her pretty little heart out at the death of what she'd hoped would've become a long-lived and loving relationship.

I don't know how long she cried on my shoulder, but I kept murmuring "I'm sorry" and kept stroking her body all throughout. Eventually, her tears began to dry up as her immediate grief passed, and I relaxed the tension in my back as she sat up a little straighter to support her own weight.

Bleary-eyed, Andie pulled her head back and gave me a curious look. I had no warning before her face darted forward and she sealed her lips over mine. The next thing I knew I was flat on my back across my bed, my legs dangling off the edge and giving me no leverage to resist as Andie's tongue delved within the depths of my mouth. I resisted, knowing I shouldn't lead her on, and Andie whimpered in anguish and only tried to kiss me even harder.

But at last she pulled her mouth away, the tears coming back into her eyes as she pressed her forehead against mine and began to sob once more. There were tears in my eyes as well now, and I realized I was definitely going to miss her. But I knew better in both my heart and my head than to reconsider ending a relationship that would only hurt Andie more in the end.

I knew I hadn't been fair to her, taking and taking without ever giving enough back. I'd told her point blank that I didn't think I could ever feel the same way about her as she felt about me. Yeah, I'd let her talk me into not pushing her away only a week ago, but I'd spent too many years being in similar relationships to not realize that in the end the girl ALWAYS wanted more and ALWAYS got hurt. And while the timing of breaking up with her two days before Finals wasn't ideal, she had to have realized she'd be better off moving on from me once school was out.

"I love you," Andie sniveled, her nose clogged and her voice cracking.

"I'm sorry," I replied in a mournful tone.

With that, Andie suddenly dismounted the bed and paced two steps away before turning and coming back to the tissue box on the nightstand. She dabbed at her eyes and blew her nose while I sat up. And tossing the wadded tissues into the trash can with all the velocity of an NFL quarterback, she fixed me with a disappointed but not accusing look and said, "I saw the writing on the wall when you didn't call me and realized that I'm just not all that important to you."

"You ARE important to me," I protested. "It's just--"

"I'm not trying to say you don't care about me," she cut me off. "I know you do, and we've had a whole lot of fun together. It's easy to have fun when everything's going well. But it's how a relationship handles adversity that defines it, and you just proved that we don't handle it well together."

"Don't say that. We've handled our share of adversity together. We did great with each other, both when things were going well and when things weren't going so very well."

"You mean me dropping to my knees and giving you blowjobs whenever you felt down and depressed. That's not US handling adversity. That's ME making YOU feel better."

"We've never HAD real adversity then, not in the way you mean. Really, when have you and I ever had a fight in our relationship? A real fight."

"We haven't, and that's kind of the point. Everything's been fun and games between us, but nothing deep. Your life has been full of turmoil, but you never try to really SHARE that with me."

"How can I when your first thought is to drop to your knees rather than TALK to me about my troubles?"

"So you're saying it's MY fault I never got included in those meaningful conversations? The ones you felt perfectly comfortable having with Adrienne and Sasha?"

"I'm not trying to assign fault; it just happened that way, that's all. It was the nature of our relationship."

"All sex and fluff. Convenient. But ultimately not that important. When your life got turned upside-down – shot in the head and hospitalized – you brought the most important people in your life to your side. But I didn't even merit a phone call. I'm not that important."

I deflated a bit and muttered, "I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. If it makes any difference, I haven't called anybody; my phone call to you before dinner was my very first one. And it's not that I went out of my way to avoid you. I've just been surrounded by family and--"

"That's just the point," she interrupted again. "Sasha said it best when we were all at the hospital: 'We're NOT family, and we're not even girlfriends.' Neither of us had any idea what to do. And even after you came home, it was clear that you never really... needed me."

"It's not that. It's ... it's..." This time I trailed off on my own.

"It's that you never really needed me," she repeated with popped eyebrows. "Sure, it was great to have me around whenever you felt lonely. I was convenient, I was willing, and I never asked for much in return. Just another harem girl."

"Don't say that. You KNOW you were special to me ... ARE still special to me."

"And I loved that," she sighed. "Loved that even with all the hot chicks literally throwing themselves at you, walking into a house with a fucking SIGN posted by the front door stating that you had the right to seize and inseminate them, that you kept choosing to be with me. You're Big Ben, the Sex God. And you spending all that time with me, letting me spend all those nights in your bed, well it made me feel ... feel..."