Chapter 26: Master

-- THURSDAY, MAY 4, 2006, SENIOR YEAR --

"So you seem pretty chipper today," Sasha commented while squeezing my hand. She looked absolutely adorable in a navy blue Cal baseball cap, with her rich dark hair poking through the hole in the back as a ponytail. A ringer T-shirt that hugged her big tits and spray-painted jeans completed her sporty but sexy look.

I shrugged and replied, "I had a nice night."

"And a nice morning, from the sounds of it," Sasha giggled.

I let my mind's eye rewind back to the events of the last twelve hours or so and smiled. After spending the first part of the evening peeling the Holland sisters out of their matching outfits (while of course leaving on the garter belts and stockings) and proceeding to remind the pair of cuties that big boobs were not a requirement for us all to have a good time, the three of us had fallen asleep in each other's arms with their well-fucked cunts NOT leaking cum out onto their thighs, since each girl had already sucked a load out of her sister's snatch and swapped it back with erotically-charged tongue-filled kisses. The third time I came, it resulted in Andie slurping my jism out of Kirstie's cute little buttcrack (but still virgin asshole), and I was so turned on watching Andie give her little sister a rimjob and snowball my load back to her that I was sorely tempted to call up Brooke and show the girls just how kinky heterosexual incest could be.

The morning was more of the same, although we only went the one round since we all needed to get to school. Besides, Kirstie was seriously thinking of giving me her virgin ass and I didn't want it to be done as a quickie before class, if ever.

"Yes, a nice morning," I finally replied, a faraway look in my eyes.

Sasha didn't say anything for a moment, but then out of the blue she bumped her hip into mine, momentarily knocking me off balance while we trudged up the hill. "Earth to Ben. Cheit is that way."

While I righted myself, I realized that she was correct and that I would have missed our turn if she hadn't bumped me. I shrugged sheepishly and replied, "Like I said, it was a nice morning."

"And not just for you. That was really sweet what you did for Andie, especially the way this last week has gone."

"And how about you? Alone with a world-famous supermodel in your bed all night? Don't tell me you didn't have a nice morning."

Sasha blushed pink all the way up to her ears. "A nice morning, yes, and a nice night as well. But it wasn't all lesbian frottage. We did a lot of talking."

"Talking?"

"About you."

I grinned. "About how you're both SO in love with me and how I'm so perfect and how you wish there were more of me so that you wouldn't have to share and--"

"And how you've got this funny idea that burping in someone's face is endearing when really it's just disgustingly foul. How even years after Adrienne complained to you about leaving your socks on the floor when you were freshmen you're STILL doing it. How you always seem to fart incessantly after you've eaten-- Hey!"

Now it was Sasha's turn to wobble off balance when I hip-checked her, hard enough that she might've fallen were she not holding my hand.

"Jerk!" She promptly hip-checked me back.

So I reached over and tickled her.

Sasha squealed and tickled me back, or at least, she tried to. I had a longer reach and apparently was less ticklish than she, because after three seconds of losing the tickle fight she promptly turned and scampered off the path and into the grass, squealing the whole time.

I followed after, reaching out and goosing her as she zigged and zagged and futilely tried to escape. For some reason she was really dainty about running away, seeming to run more up and down with pointed toes instead of sprinting, as if she didn't want to get her shoes muddy, and it was easy for me to keep up.

Finally, she threw her daintiness to the wind and reached down into a mud puddle, grabbed a glob of the putrid substance, and flung it back at me.

After the front of my white polo and part of my face got splattered, I stopped in my tracks with a gaping mouth and wide eyes. "You did NOT just do that!"

Suddenly Sasha was squealing even LOUDER as I simply barreled straight for her, dipping my shoulder at the last moment into her lower back as I seized her from behind and hauled her over my shoulder. At the same time, I rolled her so that she wound up belly-down with her feet in front of me and her head hanging over my back. And as she flopped like a rag doll, I reached up and gave her a healthy swat on the butt.

"Ben!" Sasha shrieked in surprise at the impact.

I laughed and spanked her twice more before chanting, "Didn't [spank] your mother [spank] teach you [spank] that it's not nice [spank] to throw mud at people!" [spank]

"Didn't your mother teach you it's not nice to spank people!" she shot back. And then, still perched over my shoulder, she reached down and slapped MY butt as hard as she could.

My jaw dropped and my eyes flew open wide. "Oh, it's ON." [spank-spank-spank-spank-spank!]

Sasha kept squealing, and I kept spanking. She wriggled and writhed and struggled to get off my shoulder while I kept running and bouncing to keep her from getting enough sense of balance to do so. But after a minute or so I began to tire. And spying a concrete bench, I ran over to it and dropped my butt down atop it while simultaneously pivoting Sasha so that she fell across my lap.

[spank!]

"Naughty girl!" I growled.

[spank-spank!]

"Are you gonna behave?"

Out of breath, Sasha vigorously shook her head in the negative and groaned, "N- no..."

[spank!] This time, instead of removing my hand right away, I left it on top of her jeans-clad ass and rubbed. I wasn't the only one rubbing, as Sasha appeared to be grinding her belly against the erection that had formed in my own jeans. And it was only then that I realized her initial squeals after each spank had dropped in pitch and tone, until she was rather obviously moaning with each swat.

[spank!]

"Ungh..." Sasha groaned, bowing her head and wriggling her belly against my hard-on once again.

[spank!]

"Oh, FUCK me..." she moaned breathlessly.

[spank!]

"Touch me, Ben. Hurry! I'm gonna cum! One more!"

[spank-caress... ]

"Oh, yeah! A little harder! Rub my clit! Rub it! Rub it! One more spank!"

[spank-RUB]

"Ohhwaaaaugh ... I'm cumming! I'm cumming! Keep rubbing! Fuuuuuuuuuck!"

Taking a deep breath, I fought off my own urge to wet my boxers while feeling Sasha tremble in my lap. My right hand continued digging two fingers against the crotch of her jeans right over her clit. My left hand was firmly planted on the back of Sasha's head, forcefully keeping her head down as I had my way with her. And as she squealed and groaned in orgasmic ecstasy, I finally picked my head up and looked around.

For the most part, students milled about going in both directions just minding their own business. But some unkempt guy with shaggy hair, glasses, and ill-fitting clothes stood alone about ten feet to the right over by a lamppost, quite obviously gawking at us. And about fifteen feet to the left were a couple of coeds, freshmen or sophomores if I had to guess, and the girls huddled together whispering something between giggles with their hands covering their mouths.

Eventually, Sasha's breathing slowed and deepened, although she made no attempt to remove herself from my lap. My right hand remained on top of her ass, marking my conquest possessively. I did let go of the back of her head though, which allowed her to pull her forearms beneath her face so she could rest her cheek atop them. And eventually she managed to find her voice.

"Either take me home or find some quiet corner," she rasped, her throat a little scratchy.

"Class starts in five minutes."

"Fuck class. I NEED you." To emphasize her desires, Sasha rubbed her belly against my erection once more.

I took a deep breath and thought about it. "Okay sure."

After I removed my hand from her ass, Sasha slipped off my lap and slowly got to her feet on wobbly legs while I stood as well. Once she caught her breath, she intertwined her fingers through mine and gave me a look of such white hot desire that it probably could have melted steel. But when she began tugging me down the pathway in the direction of home, I resisted and pulled her back to me.

"What?" she asked with a frown.

I grinned and head-nodded in a different direction. "You gave me a choice. I'm looking for a quiet corner."

-- FRIDAY, MAY 5, 2006, SENIOR YEAR --

Pain suddenly blossomed in my right hand. I jerked upright in my chair, gritting my teeth as I realized just in time that I probably shouldn't scream in a filled classroom. With wide eyes, I looked down at my hand, half-expecting to find it severed at the wrist with blood spurting out of it like a fountain.

But my hand was still attached. And there was no blood. There was a little black ink on the back of my hand, this time a good inch below my knuckles and a little closer to my wrist. And Sasha was just removing her ball-point pen, the sharp conical metal tip gleaming like a surgical instrument.

"Benjamin, really," Professor Isakova intoned disapprovingly. She had both hands planted on the table in front of me while gazing at me with raised eyebrows and a pointed expression, apparently having assumed such a position BEFORE the pen woke me up. "Presentations are on Tuesday. Can you not stay awake for only ONE more class?"

"Sorry, Professor," I mumbled blearily while forcing myself to sit upright.

"Hmph. Your grade is NOT yet guaranteed, young man," she scolded before standing up and strutting back to the center of the room.

Getting my bearings, I blinked away the afterimages of the cleavage Professor Ice had given me when she'd bent over just inches in front of my face, and I took deep breaths before noticing that Sasha had glanced over at me.

"What's wrong? Didn't get much sleep last night?" she teased, holding up her retractable pen and dramatically clicking the button with her thumb.

"You should know; you were there," I grumbled.

"And I'm perfectly awake right now."

"Yeah well you could take breaks whenever you wanted. Adrienne, Andie, and Jamie weren't so lenient with me," I whispered back.

"Price you pay for the life you lead."

I rolled my eyes and attempted to focus on the rest of the lecture. There wasn't much left to discuss. Next week we'd be giving our formal presentations, and today's class was entirely about prep. Fortunately, there wasn't much time left, and the class wrapped up shortly after.

But while I was bent over in my seat while packing my bag, the sound of knuckles rapping the tabletop sounded in front of me. I looked up to find Professor Ice imperiously staring down at me once more.

"Benjamin, will you please join me in my office? We need to talk."

Her voice brooked no dissent and promised that it wouldn't be a short conversation, so I glanced at my friends for a moment before returning to Viktoriya and nodding. "I'm guessing it'll take a while?"

"It might," she replied.

I nodded again and glanced at Bert and Sasha. "Pick up Paige and meet back at the house?"

"Sure, dude," Bert replied.

Sasha leaned over and pecked my cheek before getting up.

I watched them go and stood up while hoisting the strap of my messenger bag over my head and onto my opposite shoulder. By now there were no students waiting around to speak with the professor, so I gestured her up the aisle and followed as she strode toward the exit. For a brief moment, I let my eyes drop to her finely-sculpted ass that was brilliantly encased in a black pencil skirt, but I took in her no-nonsense marching pace along with her overall icy demeanor and decided that she wasn't inviting me into her office for one last goodbye fuck before the end of the school year. Still, it had been worth the stray thought.

Together, we walked the familiar halls up to her office. She fitted her key into the lock and led us inside, and without direction I set my messenger bag on the floor next to her conference table and took a seat there. Meanwhile, she set her own bag down and slid into her desk chair, rotating it to face me.

"So I understand that you visited Kim the Saturday before last," she began without preamble.

"Uh, yeah," I replied.

"Yet you have not come speak with me?"

I blinked in surprise and sat up a little straighter. "Well, it's kind of a moot point because you're clearly getting your information from other sources. It's not like you needed me to give you the news."

"True, but it has been nearly two weeks since your visit and I am surprised that you have not yet come to ask me for advice regarding your situation."

"I appreciate the offer, but I don't need you to hold my hand."

"It is not a question of 'holding your hand'. You are not a child, but a grown up young man on the cusp of adulthood, fully capable of making your own decisions. Still, it is in your best interests to seek counsel at a time like this. You did so after your previous visits to her home, including the one where you informed Kim's family of her pregnancy."

I sighed. "I've been busy."

"Yes, terribly busy with the easiest course load of your academic career."

"Busy in other ways."

"I am aware of that. The deepening of your relationship with Miss Serafian, for one. The return of Miss Dennis, for another."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, seriously. Who is feeding you all this information about my life? Kim was the mole before, but she's been in Sunnyvale for months and has been out of touch."

"Kim and I speak on the phone. And Robert Kim speaks with her frequently. She is very much IN touch with your life."

I sighed and shook my head. "Maybe I will castrate Bert," I muttered.

"That would be unwise ... for your grade," Viktoriya said with a smile. "Perhaps you should wait until after your team gives its presentation next week before castrating a teammate."

I chuckled.

"This brings us back to the original point: Why have you not come to discuss things with me?"

I shrugged. "Because I haven't."

"This is a pattern of behavior Kim has mentioned to me more than once. For as close as you have been to your family, and to your parents, ever since coming to college you have very rarely asked THEM for advice, if ever."

"Huh?"

"For a time I thought it was some psychological aversion to authority, but now I do not think that is the case. Rather, I think it is a misguided attempt to 'be mature', to be adult enough to make your own decisions without always running to Mommy and Daddy for help. But the reality is that you are still quite young, young man, and you do not have all the answers. There are people with knowledge and experience who would LOVE to help you, if only you would let them."

"Like you?"

Viktoriya blushed and shook her head. "I understand my boundaries. Regarding Kim, I believe it is my place to guide and assist you, again if you will let me. As for your broken relationships with your previous girlfriends, well ... let me just say that your parents have every right to have a vested interest in your romantic future."

I blinked. "You're telling me Dawn and DJ might not have broken up with me if only I'd asked my parents for advice?"

She shrugged. "Perhaps. We shall never know. But do you really think it would have hurt?"

"I CAN handle my own life."

"Your past failures would seem to indicate otherwise."

"Oh my GAWD," I groaned. "I thought you wanted me to be a Master. Doesn't that mean being in command, handling my own life, and not needing anyone else tell me what to do?"

"I do not mean that you should have your parents – or me – tell you what to do. But it is perfectly reasonable to listen to what those with experience have to say; it is not a sign of weakness to appreciate a mature perspective of your situation. Still, the decisions you make are decisions YOU make." She sighed wearily and muttered, "You still have a lot to learn about becoming a 'Master', to learn who Kim needs you to be. I would have thought you would have made more progress over the last few months."

"Okay, seriously? I don't need your dismissive condescension," I groaned and got out of the chair.

"Benjamin, SIT!" Professor Ice suddenly thundered in such a tone that I found my butt glued to my seat even before I realized it.

I blinked in shock.

With a perfectly calm demeanor as if her outburst had never taken place, Viktoriya continued, "Benjamin, I am not trying to condescend."

I snorted and gestured to her with one hand, drawling sarcastically, "And yet you clearly hold such a high opinion of me that I need to be scolded into sitting like a kindergartener. Seriously, I'm not a 'Master'. That's not who I am."

"Kim would seem to think otherwise."

"Kim's putting her faith in the wrong guy."

"Is she now?"

"Look at me. You said it yourself in the very beginning: I'm too empathetic to be a true Master."

"And I told you that your empathy was the key quality to being HER Master."

"But there are a LOT of other qualities required by the job description, qualities that I'm not sure I have. I faced that when I went down there to announce Kim's pregnancy. When her dad told me to get out, my first instinct was to ask Kim to come with me. 'Ask', I said, not 'Command'. Hell, you could even say I pleaded. Kim's father on the other hand commanded, and really I shouldn't be surprised who won that little battle."

"You can learn to carry the same forcefulness."

"I'm not so sure I can."

"You did just fine with me."

I rolled my eyes. "In the bedroom, or here in your office. The point is that I operate completely differently having sex than when I'm not. It's like ... there's this sexual creature inside me that sometimes takes charge, a Jekyll and Hyde kind of thing. But outside of the bedroom, I'm just ... me."

"Then that quality IS inside of you somewhere. It is merely a matter of bringing out your potential."

I shook my head. "It's not about potential. That's just not me."

"You are not even going to try?"

"To what end? Even if I could be the same Dominant I am in the bedroom, I wouldn't want to be in real life. That's not how I want to live."

"Even if Kim needs you to be that person."

I sighed. "Not even for her."

Viktoriya frowned and folded her arms over her chest. "So that is it? You simply give up?"

"I'm not giving up."

Viktoriya didn't respond except to stare at me. I recognized the same tactic my mom always used to get me to spill my guts, a tactic even Bert had employed. But although I recognized it, I couldn't resist insisting, "I'm NOT giving up!"

"Do you really mean that? Or do you say that because you do not want to be the 'bad guy' who abandons the woman carrying your child?"

"I'm NOT giving up on her. There's still time. Things can still change."

"How much more time? Two weeks, until after graduation? A month, perhaps? How about five months, when the baby is born? This is your solution? To wait around for something to change?"

"I'm not just waiting. I'm busy. There are a LOT of other things going on in my life!"

"Things more important than Kim, apparently. Such as spending the last several months building your harem of willing sorority girls instead of facing the challenges ahead of you."

"Challenges like graduating and getting my degree."

"Oh, so your degree is more important to you than your child and his mother. I see..."

I grimaced. "Look, it sounds bad when you put it like that."

"But it is true nonetheless."

"No! I mean..." I stopped and took a breath. "Kim will still be pregnant two weeks from now after I have my degree. Finals are in seven days, and my group presentation for YOUR class is NEXT week. Are you telling me to blow that all off to camp outside Kim's house and yell and scream at Kim's father and command Kim to come back to Berkeley with me?"

"Would you?"

"Would I what?"

"Blow off your schoolwork to get her back. If you knew 100% that doing so would be successful, would you do it?"

I blinked. "That's a ridiculous hypothetical."

"Is it?"

"There ISN'T any 100% foolproof way to get her back."

"There is, and I will tell you. I would have told you two weeks ago if you had come to me immediately after leaving her house."

I frowned. "Excuse me?"

"Do you want to know or not?"

"Yes, yes of course!"

"BE her Master!"

I groaned. "We've been over this already."

"Yes we have. This is the exact same advice I gave you in February. Kim wants a Master, but thus far you have not been it. You said it yourself: You 'asked' her to return with you. Her father commanded she stay. So she followed her Master: him."

I shrugged. "And what, you think I should have gone down there and been just as much of a Master and 'commanded' Kim to come with me and she would have? Even over her father's orders?"

"I think Kim is in love with you. Yes. But she is a submissive, Benjamin. No matter how much she WANTS to be with you, she WILL respond to the strongest influence in her life."

"The Alpha male," I replied sullenly.

"Yes."

I shook my head. "We've had this conversation already. Kim's barking up the wrong tree. That's not me."

Viktoriya frowned and slumped in her seat.

"It's not that I'm against being a stronger person. It's not that I don't WANT to be more confident or in control or even 'in command'. But giving orders and ... and yelling LOUDER than Kim's father just to obstinately get my way? That's not me. I can't NOT see it from her father's point of view, and I can't NOT consider the possibility that she'll be better off with him than me. I don't bully the people around me into getting my way, and I don't MAKE people do things they don't really want to do themselves!"

"I am not asking you to. I am asking you to believe that Kim WANTS to be with you, and if you had commanded just as forcefully as her father did, she would be with you right now."

I shook my head. "But she doesn't. If she did, she'd be with me. You keep saying she's a 'submissive', but I know her better than that by now. She is fully capable of knowing what she wants and taking self-directed action to achieve her goals. Jeezus, who do you think even LABELED her as a submissive in the first place? SHE did. Off INTERNET research as a teenager! Now, I get that she values her relationship with her father. And I get that she feels happier and more comfortable to have someone care about and protect her. But the thing is: Kim's dad is NOT the one locking her up inside her own house. Kim's dad is NOT the one who pulled her from school and is keeping her from graduating with me and all her friends. Kim's dad is NOT the one keeping us apart!"

"Then who is?"

"SHE is. Kim."

"Oh, blame the submissive."

I shrugged. "I'm not blaming her dad. HE'S doing exactly what he's supposed to be doing. He's her father. He's supposed to protect her, and he's doing so in the only way he knows how. I may not be happy with how he's going about it, but I can respect it. Kim is special; Kim is unique. She has different needs, needs that HE understands AND fulfills for her. I'm NOT going to marry her. I'm NOT going to give her the dream future that her father has always wanted for her. Yes, I knocked her up, but in hindsight I think we can all agree that was a MISTAKE. And if it wasn't for that, we wouldn't be HAVING this CONVERSATION!"

I was standing again, but this time Viktoriya didn't bark at me to sit back down. Instead, she sat calmly in her chair, her face tilted up to look at mine, and with her eyes she asked me to calm the fuck down.

So I took a deep breath and calmed the fuck down. And taking another deep breath, I backed up and sat once again in my chair.

"So that is it. You are giving up."

"She chose him," I mumbled. "She said it plain and simple: 'I love you Ben, but if forced to choose between you and my dad ... I choose him.' Her words, not mine."

"So you are giving up."

I sighed. "I'll do my best for her and our son. You know I will. Financial support. Child-rearing. I'd move into their house and wake up every three hours to feed him if they'd let me. Whatever they need me to be, I'll be."

"Except Kim's Master. You have apparently decided you will not be that."

I swallowed thickly and looked away, rubbing my forehead. "It's all too much, you know? I talk to my friends about how great my life is, all the sex I get, but sometimes it's all too much. Andie's head-over-heels in love with me and so desperate that she's willing to eat crumbs just for the sake of staying at my table, and I don't even have the guts to break her heart. Sasha's been so ... sooo great. I truly believe I could have a future with her. She's perfect for me in so many ways: intellect, personality, sex ... She's a fresh start for me, with no baggage from my past and nothing but potential for our future. And I WANT to find out what that future can be. And now Adrienne's back, and my whole WORLD feels so much better when she's in it. Sometimes I wish I could just simplify everything, maybe even narrow my life down to just Sasha and Adrienne and let the world go fuck itself. But I can't. The Tri-Delts are my friends, and they all have needs and wants of me as well. YES I'm prioritizing graduation and getting my degree because dammit, why else would I BE in Berkeley? I've got classes and team meetings and homework and Finals start next Friday and almost TWENTY different girls who want my attention to varying degrees and I'm being pulled in a MILLION directions and on TOP of all that, Kim's off in Sunnyvale pregnant with my baby."

"So you are giving up on her. One less thing to worry about."

"I'll BE there for them when they need me."

"Kim needs you NOW. She NEEDED you four months ago."

"She needed her Master. I'm not it. I never will be."

"So you ARE giving up."

"I won't abandon my son, nor her mother. I'll be there. I'll take care of them as best I can, and right now that means getting my degree, getting a job, and providing for them financially and as the best possible father I can be."

"But not as her Master."

I shook my head. "She made her choice for Master: her father."

Viktoriya scowled and shook her head, averting her eyes as if the mere sight of me disgusted her. "You are giving up."

I slumped in my chair, feeling the weight of Viktoriya's disappointment pressing down on my chest. Still, she wouldn't look at me, and the frown etched across her face almost hurt more than her tone. Shaking my own head, I pressed my hands down on the armrests and levered myself up into a standing position. Reaching down, I grabbed the strap of my messenger bag and hoisted it over my head to settle it on my shoulder. And with a final sigh I headed for the door.

"She still needs you," Viktoriya intoned quietly but firmly behind me, just as I reached for the handle.

I paused with one hand outstretched, fingers open just inches away from grasping the handle. The pressure on my chest had not abated, and in fact only seemed to grow and grow and grow until I couldn't take it anymore as I spun around and stared back at her. "I'm scared," I choked out, feeling the first hot tear land on my cheek. "I care about her. I look at Kim, I see her absolute devotion, her willingness to do anything for me and I feel this HUGE weight of responsibility to protect and care for her. It's even worse than with my baby sisters. At least I can imagine a future where they can take care of themselves, and I already know Eden's so willful and strong and won't let any guy run all over her."

Viktoriya arched an eyebrow inquisitively, and I'm sure she had no clue who "Eden" was.

But I kept going. "Kim, on the other hand ... She's so vulnerable. I knew it that first time I ... I ... Shit. She just LET me butt-rape her! I didn't mean to do it. But she was just SO frustrating and SO maddening in her..." I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting the memory that swelled to the forefront of my brain. "I've tried to apologize so many times, and she won't even accept them. I don't get it. How am I supposed to be her 'Master' if I don't even understand her? How she thinks? What makes her tick? How am -I- supposed to decide what's best for her when I don't have a CLUE what's actually best for her? Huh?"