Chapter 20: Nina Tells Scott

Over the next day or two, Nina spent a lot of time thinking about her relationship with Gretchen, and how much of her life she was influencing in one way or another. While she had ceded control of her sexuality to Gretchen, she was finding that this had a broader influence than she had first thought. One example was her new dress code, since that spilled over into what she wore every day.

The concerns kept popping up in the back of her mind, and one recurring issue had to do with Scott's reaction to her new situation. While he had implicitly given her permission to have sex with Gretchen, or other women, he had no idea how many times Nina had been in sexual encounters. He also had no idea about her slavery, or about Gretchen's control over her. Nina decided that the time had come to tell Scott at least part of the story.

After supper the next night, Nina and Scott were lingering over a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Scott seemed to be in a mellow, conversational mood, so Nina judged that the time was right to bring up the subject.

"Hey babe, do you remember the discussion we had about the research on alternative lifestyles that I was doing?"

"Yes."

"And do you also remember telling me that if I needed to 'get my itch scratched' then it was okay to have sex with another woman?"

"Are you telling me that you've actually done it ... had sex with another woman?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm ... how was it? As good as sex with a man?"

"What you mean is 'as good as sex with me, ' not just another man."

"Okay, was it as good as sex with me?"

"That's actually hard to say, because it's so different. If I'm honest with myself, I have to say that I like both forms. There's another aspect, though."

"What's that? Are you having sex with another man as well?"

"No, no, hell no. I wouldn't have sex with another man. I don't need another man. I have you. Period. Full stop."

"So what's the other aspect?"

"Well, it turns out that a lot of gay women are very sharply divided between dominant and submissive personalities."

"I'm not quite sure what you mean."

"Well, in very rough terms, the stereotypical lesbians you see in porn films tend to be grouped as butch or femme. One side is very mannish in dress, and presentation, and the other is very feminine. The reality, though, is it's a personality trait.

"Some women are very domineering in their attitudes toward other women; they want to control another woman, especially sexually. So they make her dress a certain way, do her hair a certain way, make her provide sexual services whenever she's told, and possibly punish her when she makes a mistake.

"Other women are very submissive, so they accept that they will be controlled by another woman. They accept being told how to dress, they accept that their sexuality is now someone else's responsibility, they provide sexual services on demand, often to more than one woman.

"And you can't tell by dress. Just because you see a butch lesbian dressed as a man doesn't necessarily mean that she's a dominant, although it's usually true. By the same token, you could never pick out some dominants unless you saw them in a situation where they were exerting control over someone else. Dominants look like every other businesswoman or professional or even housewife that you might run into during a normal day."

"So, are you telling me that you're one of these ... dominants?"

"Actually, no. What my research and my experiences so far have shown me is that I am actually quite submissive. Digging into this has kind woken something up in me; something that I never knew was there. I have always been the one who controls meetings; I am the one who guides clients into particular market areas. I make decisions every day, either at work, about studies, about things here at home, and so on. I have never been anyone's doormat; I have never been controlled by anyone."

"I'll say. The last thing I would ever label you as was submissive. I've been the recipient of your anger and your sharp tongue on too many occasions to ever call you that ... and I'm not complaining, I'm just calling it the way it is."

"Sharp tongue? I'll remember that. But you're right. I think the most submissive thing I have ever done with you was the couple of times that you've fucked my face. And I didn't really think I was being submissive, especially since I enjoyed it almost as much as you.

"But, for some reason, when I met a couple of these dominant women, and the more I studied the research material, the more intrigued I became. It really resonated with me, and I started picturing myself in situations. In every case, I was the submissive, not the dominant. When one of these women showed me how submissive I was, I realized that this was a deeply buried part of my psyche, and I needed to know what was really going on with me.

"I think that the submissive part of me is only about sex. In fact, I think it's only about lesbian sex. I think I'm about 90% heterosexual, and that part of me demands equality when it comes to everything, including sex. I think the other 10% is submissive lesbian, and will do whatever a dominant woman tells me to do, at least in terms of sex. I don't think it applies to other parts of my life, and it may only apply to one other woman, or a very small number of women.

"There are lots of aspects that I don't know about, but my brain keeps telling me that I have to investigate them, and I have to experience these things, since it's the only way I'll ever find out. I have to see whether lesbian sex is only possible, for me, if it's with a dominant woman, or whether it can happen on equal terms, like it does between you and me."

"So, it sounds like you are going to be having a lot of sex. Is this with any one woman in particular? And should I be concerned?"

"Well, yes there may be a fair amount of sex involved, because it seems to be a very big part of the lifestyle. And yes, there is one woman in particular. She's a dominant, and she has kind of become my leader or mentor in all of this. She is trying to teach me what it's all about, so I've had sex with her, and she has exerted control at various times. Lastly, no you shouldn't be concerned. As much as I like her, she has stated on more than one occasion that she will not come between you and me. If she ever thought she was causing problems between the two of us, she would walk out of my life forever."

"She dominates you? She makes you do sexual things?"

"Yes."

"Like what? Does she just grab you and make you go down on her, even if you don't want to?"

"Yes. She has done that."

"And you just let her do that to you?"

"It's not a case of letting her do it. She's in control, so when she says to do something, I do it."

"Well, what if you didn't do it?"

"I'd probably be punished."

"Punished? What do you mean punished?"

"Spanked, paddled, flogged."

"Flogged? As in she would whip you?"

"Yes."

"Has she whipped you?"

"No. But she has spanked me."

"Spanked you? For punishment?"

"Well, no. She did it as a demonstration, because I told her that I had never been spanked as a child."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Well, not in the beginning, but at the end she made me come, so that part was enjoyable."

"So she spanked you for sex, but not for punishment?"

"Yes, that time. Other times it is likely to be for punishment."

"Did she have to force you to be spanked?"

"No."

"She just told you to get over her lap, and you did, then she spanked you? I assume on your bare ass?"

"Yes, to both questions."

"If I told you to get over my lap, would you do it?"

"I ... I really don't know."

"Well, don't you think we should find out whether you're submissive to men in sexual situations, or just to women? After all, I've said that for you to have sex with a woman wouldn't automatically end our marriage, but sex with a man would be a deal-breaker. Now you're telling me that you are submissive in sexual matters and that a woman can spank you by just telling you to bend over. She can also make you go down on her by just telling you to do it.

"Well, what if a man says 'Get on your knees and blow me' or 'Bend over so I can fuck you'? Are you going to do what he says, or will you say no?"

"I would hope that I would say no."

"Why?"

"Because you told me that sex with another man would end our marriage, and I don't want that. I love you, and I respect the vows we made to each other. Just because I'm submissive doesn't mean that I will do anything someone asks. I'm more likely to do it if a woman asks, but I don't know where the line is. That's one of the things I'm trying to learn."

"What if he only wanted a blow job? What would you do? I told you that a blow job wouldn't end things."

"I don't know. I probably wouldn't know until the situation existed. What would you do if a woman just dropped to her knees and wanted to give you a blow job? Would you do it?"

"I don't know, and I probably wouldn't know until the situation existed."

"Touché."

"So, this woman who's teaching you—is she a dominant as well?"

"Yes, at least when it comes to women. She used to be the slave of a master."

"A slave? I'm assuming that you mean a sex slave?"

"Yes."

"So, are you her sex slave? Is that how she gets to control you?"

A long pause, then a quiet "Yes."

"So she controls you when it comes to sex?"

"Yes."

"And how far does this control extend? Can she tell you not to have sex with me?"

"Not really."

"What do you mean, 'not really'?"

"Well, she's only done it once. She told me one time that if I had sex with you, I wasn't allowed to come. One other time she told me to go home and fuck you senseless, so it kind of balances out."

"But she controls you in anything else pertaining to sex?"

"Yes."

"I think I'm seeing a bit of a pattern here. She's the reason you're shaved, right?"

"Yes. She did it. She said that all slaves are shaved as a sign of their submission."

"Aren't slaves supposed to wear a collar?"

"I do when I'm with her. I'm only actually a slave at certain times. The rest of the time I'm under her control sexually, but in everything else I'm free to choose."

"Only when you're with her? Where are you with her?"

"She owns the gym I belong to. I'm a slave when I'm in the gym. Outside the gym I'm still a submissive, and she controls my sexuality, but that's all."

"So, inside the gym she can make you do anything she wants, and she can spank you if she wants. Outside the gym she can still make you have sex with her, or do anything else sexual, but she can't spank you, or make you do other things."

"That's about it."

"Could she make you have sex with someone else outside the gym?"

"Yes."

"And you can't refuse?"

"Well, it's a little complicated. She has control of my sexuality, but I still retain free will. So, if she wanted me to have sex with someone else outside the gym, I could theoretically say no, but the situation hasn't come up yet. If someone else wanted to have sex with me, outside the gym but without her there, then the decision is mine. I can say no, and walk away, or I can say yes. Inside the gym, since I'm a slave, I can't refuse anyone; I have to have sex with anyone who orders me, unless she says no for some reason."

"So if a man comes up to you in the gym, and says 'Bend over so I can fuck you', you can't refuse?"

"Oh, that will never happen, because it's a women-only gym. It kind of caters to lesbians, and the dominant/submissive crowd, since the owner is a dominant and a former slave."

"So, when you go for a workout, you can end up having sex, because some dominant can simply tell you to go down on her?"

"Yes."

"So, how did you get into this? Did she just make you her slave the first time you went there?"

"No. She and I did have sex the first night. When she offered me a 'spa evening' we ended up having sex a few times because she just took over. It kind of blew me away. She literally just made me come on the massage table because she wanted to, and I had no say in the matter. That experience was what started me thinking about all of this. It just struck a chord deep inside me, and I knew I had to find out more.

"I started researching the whole dominant/submissive lifestyle, and the sexual aspects of it. I also read a lot of porn to try to get some more information. I went back to see her another day, and we talked for a long time about various aspects of sexual dominance, slavery, and submissiveness. She answered any question I put to her; she even vowed that she would never lie to me about any aspect of her lifestyle.

"So, you still haven't answered the question. How did you become her slave?

Another long pause. "I voluntarily gave myself to her. I gave her complete control over my sexuality, at all times. I also told her that I would be her slave within the confines of the gym. I did it because I knew that the only way that I would truly understand the submissive and slave lifestyle would be to participate fully in it."

"And what was her reaction?"

"I actually scared her. She was afraid that I had slipped into a mentality that I didn't fully grasp, and that I had kind of gone over the edge. I convinced her that I did understand what I was getting into, and knew that the limits I had given her I could live with, at least until I felt that things might be going too far."

"And what would you consider as going too far?"

"Well, sex with men, for one thing. I don't think that's too likely, as she's very strongly lesbian, at least as far as I'm concerned. Officially, you'd have to label her as bi-sexual, but she says she hasn't had sex with a man in a year. I don't think it's likely that she would ever tell me I had to have sex with a man; everything we have done has been with other women, and even that has mainly been with each other."

"And how would you label yourself?"

"Well definitely as bi-sexual, but I don't know to what percentage. I suspect I'm very much heterosexual, but I don't know where the line is. I might even be completely heterosexual, with a side order of one particular woman. That's part of what I'm exploring."

Scott thought for a few minutes, then seemed to come to some sort of decision. "Well, it seems to me that there are some things to think about here. I think there are some issues that might need to be taken into consideration, and I think you may need to be shown the error of your ways."

"The error of my ways... ? What do you mean?"

"Well, let's face it. You handed total control of your sexuality, and a large part of your life to a woman you didn't know that well, who may not have your best interests at heart, and you did this without consulting me. I am after all, still your husband. So, I think there may be a need for a punishment there."

"Second, you have said that you want to explore the full submissive and slave lifestyle, yet you have limited your slave state to times that you are in the gym. If you really wanted to experience it, wouldn't it make more sense to be a full-time slave?"

"A full-time slave? What are you suggesting?"

"Well, maybe you should tell your dominant that she can control all aspects of your life, and not just your sexuality. She can tell you what to do, and when to do it, and you will have no choice in the matter."

"But ... that could screw up our marriage. Is that what you want? Is this your way of asking for a divorce?"

"No, but it is my way of pointing out a flaw in your plan to this point, and in indicating that I should have some say in these matters. I still do not have a problem with you having sex with other women, but I am a little concerned that what you have done has driven a wedge between us. I am also worried that you have set yourself, and by extension us, on a path to trouble in the future.

"I have also done a lot of research into dominant and submissive roles, so I know something about what you're talking about. The first time you mentioned those terms to me, I thought you seemed a little too comfortable with them, so I decided to understand where you were coming from.

"I am thinking that one way to deal with this, and to help you explore your submissiveness is to make you a full-time slave. If you couldn't be her slave on a full-time basis, then maybe the gap could be filled by making you my slave at the other times. I could even go so far as to deed control of you to her whenever it doesn't interfere with things that I want.

"So, those times when you say that you have free will would disappear entirely. If a woman wanted sex with you, you would be forced to comply, regardless of whether you were in the gym, or in a shopping mall. If she wanted you to have sex with someone, or to walk naked through that shopping mall, then you would have no choice. By the same token, I could simply tell you to drop to your knees and blow me in the middle of that shopping mall, and I would expect full compliance."