Fifty

IT WAS SEVEN-THIRTY I was depressed and starving. Stupid combination since there were people who really were starving. Melody, Lissa, and Wendy waited to have dinner until we got home. They’d fed the boys and after I’d hugged each of them, Damon and Drew went to their room to do ‘homework,’ as they said.

“Third grade is tough and Damon is trying to set a good example for Drew in first grade. It’s so sweet I can hardly bear it,” Lissa said.

“How do they feel about having a baby sister coming?” I asked. I just hadn’t had much time to spend with them. They were with us or in school until Jack got back from Boston, but three days a week I was putting in a twelve-hour day and twice I was in school or reading papers. I had to figure out how to spend more time with my sons.

“They’re ecstatic—at the moment,” Lissa laughed. “They asked whether the baby could share their apartment in the new house.”

“What are we going to do about that? I mean a new house?”

“We’ve got a real estate agent looking for us and she’ll tell us what we need to do to get this house ready to go on the market. It’s going to be a while before we get moved,” Melody said. “We want to create as little disruption to our schooling, jobs, and the boys as possible. We won’t even be ready to look at houses for a couple of months.”

“I love tuna noodle casserole,” I said. Not the most intelligent thing to say, but I had a mouthful of it and I was hungry. Besides which, I wasn’t really there. I was thinking about resigning my commission. It was all so futile. No one asked what I had painted today, which was fine. I didn’t want to talk about it after I’d told the story to Andy and Bychkova. Kate heard it and probably warned everyone off. It seemed too hopeless. I stood to clear my plate and Wendy caught my eye. Her hand went to the tiger eye stone at her throat. She left her plate in Kate’s hand as she headed downstairs. Lissa took my plate.

“I think you have an appointment,” Lissa said. I looked at the three and they smiled at me a little sadly.

“I’m sorry...” I started.

“You need to take care of some things downstairs,” Kate whispered.

Lissa was closest so I kissed her first. Melody was standing in line for a kiss as soon as Lissa and I parted. Kate wrapped her arms around me and kissed me so longingly I was ready to rush her to the bedroom.

“She’s your sub,” Kate whispered, “but we’re all responsible. I love you, darling.”

“I love you, Kitten. We’ll talk later.”

“Not tonight,” she chuckled.

I took a deep breath before I entered Wendy’s room without knocking. I try, but sometimes it’s so hard to be a good master—especially when I was feeling depressed. It reminded me too much of that awful night when Wendy ran from the encampment in flames. That night I’d become her hero and, frankly, I didn’t feel all that heroic right now.

I pushed the door open and walked in, expecting to find Wendy kneeling naked beside the bed.

She wasn’t.

She was sitting on the bed, still in her jeans and T-shirt, holding her collar in her hands.

“Wendy? Tiger, is something wrong? Have I hurt you?”

“No, Tony. If you want me naked on my knees, I’ll gladly take that position. But I thought maybe what you needed just now was a friend.”

“You know me better than anyone else.”

“No. Surprisingly, we all know you pretty well, but when we put what we know together, we know you better than anyone.”

She scooted up and leaned against the headboard, motioning me to sit next to her. When we were settled, she put her arm around me and just held me. I sorted through what I was feeling and felt the tickle of emotions. Sorrow, depression, anger, disgust, and even hope.

“Tell me about today’s painting,” she finally said.

I told her. I told her about all the emotions it dredged up for me to paint it and how mad I got because we just weren’t doing anything. How I realized the entire mural was meaningless or worse because it gave us an excuse to believe we were acting on behalf of the homeless. That each time I thought about it, I was overwhelmed with the memory of her running from the camp in flames.

“My. You are a terrible person.”

“Huh?”

“To hear you tell it, it’s hopeless so there’s no reason for you to do anything. There’s no reason for you to have volunteered to sit outside in the cold all night once a week. There’s no reason for you to have sounded the alarm and rescued me when I was being burned alive by my own father. There’s no reason for you to have painted that mural and raised those funds and given me a platform to tell people about the homeless. You should have this back, because there’s no reason for you to have cared enough to take on the responsibility of being my master.”

She held out her collar to me. I was speechless. I twisted around to look at her but didn’t offer to take the collar.

“Am I that bad, Tiger? Am I so filled with despair there’s no hope?”

“Only in your eyes, Tony. To me, you are still my hero.” She kept the collar held out in offering.

“Tiger, do you want me to take your collar? Do you want to be free from me as your master?”

“I want you to be free, Tony,” she said. Tears glistened in her eyes but she refused to look away. Did I want to be free of her? Damn it, there’s just too much crap in life to give up what is dear. I took the collar.

“Wendy Martin, I am free. I am acting of my own free will. I am asking you. Will you accept me and no other as your master? Will you obey me and serve me as long as you wear this collar? Will you look to me for guidance, protection, love, and comfort? Will you lift me when I stumble and correct me when I’m wrong; chasten me when I err and guide me when I’m lost? Wendy Martin, will you be my Tiger?”

According to physics, an object cannot move from one set of coordinates to another without passing through all the points between or something like that. I swear; Wendy transported herself between seated on the bed and kneeling in front of me without moving.

“Yes, Master. I swear to serve you always in all ways.”

“Then wear this collar and do not offer it to me again unless you intend to leave me.” I put the collar around her neck and she collapsed against my legs hugging herself to me.

“Thank you, master. Thank you. I love you.”

“Why are you still dressed?” I demanded. Wendy is normally a well-ordered and self-disciplined person. I’ve never seen an article of her clothing on the floor until that moment. Her T-shirt, bra, jeans, panties, and socks flew and hadn’t settled before she was kneeling before me looking straight ahead. “Kneel on the bed,” I ordered.

“But, master, you are still dressed. Don’t you want me to... ?”

“Is this your idea of obedience?” In an instant, Wendy was kneeling at the edge of the bed, her butt sticking up toward me and her eyes focused straight ahead. I stepped back so I was sure she couldn’t see me and pulled off my belt as noisily as I could. Wendy didn’t like pain. Under the rule of her father and Rafe, she had learned to accept it as part of her submission. I’d never struck her. I could see the scars from their beatings lacing her back. It made me so sick I wanted to vomit.

The position of utter submission and defenselessness, however, had Wendy leaking her juices down both thighs. I looped the belt in half and held the loop in my left hand and the ends in my right, making an “O” with a handle on each end. Mustering as much strength as I could in one short movement, I jerked my hands apart. The center of the belt came together with a crack that echoed in the little room.

Wendy came.

Without bothering to strip, I dropped my pants and stepped forward to plunge into Wendy from behind. It tipped her into a second shrieking orgasm that was probably heard in the master bedroom upstairs. As she came down, I withdrew, realigned, and plunged into her asshole in one steady move. When she came this time, I couldn’t hold back and pumped her rectum full of my seed. We fell forward onto the bed, still joined and rolled to our sides so I wouldn’t crush her. We lay there with our feet still hanging off the bed.