Forty-seven

THERE WAS SO MUCH catching up to do. I hadn’t seen my folks since August. My life was focused on my project and rebuilding my relationship with Kate. Mom proclaimed that I was still too thin, and put a huge piece of hot Dutch apple pie in front of me. With ice cream.

“Okay,” Lissa said after Melody had poked her in the ribs for the thirtieth or so time. “Everybody. My wife wants to announce the worst kept secret of the year.” She stuck her tongue out. Melody laughed and kissed her. She stood up, which put her like two inches above us.

“What my beloved Beauty wants to announce but is too shy, is that Tony is going to be a daddy in June.” It took a second for everyone who didn’t already know to shift their focus from Melody to me and then back to Melody and Lissa. Melody smiled. “And my wonderful wife Lissa is going to bear our first child.”

Lexi had been holding her breath. “Oh! I’m going to be a grandma!” she exploded.

“So am I,” Mom squealed as she came around the table to hug Lissa, Melody, and finally me. Lexi and Dad were right behind her.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Lexi accused Jack.

“I was sworn to secrecy. I wasn’t supposed to find out.”

“And was that why... ?”

“Not only that.”

“You guys are talking in code,” Melody laughed. Jack and Lexi looked at each other and he nodded to her.

“Well, that settles that,” Lexi said. “We were going to consult with the family first, but instead we’ll just make an announcement. Jack has invited me to move to Seattle and ... shack up with him.”

“Mom!” Melody yelled running to her mother.

“Now that there’s a baby coming, there’s no way I’m passing up the opportunity,” Lexi said. “I probably won’t be able to move for a couple of months, but I’m wrapping up things in Boston.”

“Saul, this might be a good time for you to get your pilot’s license like you’ve been talking about for the past three years,” Mom said. “Either that or sell the farm and we’ll move to Seattle, too.”

The girls all crowded around Lissa and Melody and Dad suggested they move to the living room and let the men clean up. I thought that was generous of him. At least there were five of us to do the work and it went quickly. Before we left the kitchen, Dad motioned us to seats around the table. From under the sink he produced a dusty bottle.

“Is that the silver polish, Dad?” I asked, thinking he wanted us to get things ready for Christmas Eve.

“Don’t suggest such a thing!” he said. “This happens to be a bottle of cognac I’ve been saving for a special occasion. I think this is special.”

“Hear! Hear!” Sam, Jack, and David joined in. Dad poured five glasses of the fiery liquid and we raised them in a toast.

“To the next generation,” Dad said, “and the remarkable young adults that are bringing it into the world.”

“Congratulations, Tony,” Sam said. “This is quite a big step.”

“I guess she’ll be my graduation present,” I laughed. “Oh, wow!”

“I always hoped you’d father my grandchildren, Tony,” David said. I think he always considered Beth and me boyfriend and girlfriend.

“Well, don’t give up hope, David. It’s still possible,” Dad laughed.

On Christmas Eve, Bree and I went shopping. It was a ritual the whole family expected now and everyone was excited to see what we would come up with this year. I didn’t have the foggiest idea. Bree and I walked around the mall a dozen times with nothing jumping out. Each time we passed one store, though, I slowed up to look in the windows.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Bree said softly.

“Yeah. It’s too soon.”

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be prepared.”

“You think?”

“I think we aren’t going to get any serious Christmas shopping done until you get this part taken care of.”

I grinned at Bree and went into the store. It was simple. A pear-cut diamond solitaire in a platinum setting. It wasn’t too big. It had an interlocking wedding band and I bought the set. A guy needs something for his hope chest, I guess.

“I don’t want to see it until she wears it,” Bree said. Great. Now I had a diamond burning a hole in my pocket. “Look! Let’s get the boys some toys and some baby clothes for Lissa and Melody,” Bree said. We headed into the children’s store and spent an hour buying baby clothes in many patterns, shapes, and styles. I could tell that if I didn’t control myself, I’d go broke buying stuff for my children.

Just before we left the store, I saw it. Them.

“Bree, we have Christmas presents,” I said.

“Merry Christmas to all, And to all a good night!” the boys read with me as we sat in the armchair by the fire. The whole family clapped and we checked the NORAD website to see where Santa was. It was fun to see everyone in their fluffy robes and mukluks.

“We’d better hang our stockings and get to bed, guys,” I said. “Santa will be here soon.” I lifted each boy to hang his stocking as we all hung our own. I noticed that Mom had made a stocking for Celia as well, and Sam had provided her with a robe and mukluks.

“The moms will take care of bedtime tonight,” Lissa said as she and Melody scooped up Damon and Drew to take them upstairs. “Relax a while with the grown-ups.” Lissa and Melody kissed me, starting a line of girls waiting to kiss Tony. Nice. Dad brought out eggnog and I threw another log on the fire. One-by-one people got tired. They surreptitiously put little gifts in stockings and went to bed.

“Can you watch the fire for a bit to make sure it doesn’t flare up?” Dad asked as he followed Mom toward their room.

“Sure, Dad. It will die down soon.”

I wasn’t in a big hurry to go to bed. It had been strange the past couple of nights. There was lots of play and lovers getting each other off, but I’d been hesitant to get involved since Kate was holding back. And I wanted to sit and think for a while. I supposed I could go into Omaha on Friday and return the ring. It was a stupid idea. If Kate found it, she’d freak out and I’d be staring at an empty room again. I don’t why I was in such an all-fired hurry. I supposed it might have something to do with Lissa being pregnant. I wanted that to be over tomorrow, too. I mean the baby to be born. Already people had begun suggesting names. That was cool. I was going to be a daddy.

I heard a movement and looked up. I’d been so lost in my thoughts all evening that I didn’t even realize Kate had never left her seat on the far side of the Christmas tree. She stood and came toward me. Somehow, I’d just assumed that she’d gone to bed and hadn’t bothered to kiss me. I raised a hand to say hi as Kate came toward me. She walked right into it. I started to pull back but she caught my hand and held it in place against the robe at her stomach. I could feel her breathing as her diaphragm rose and fell.

“I didn’t get a kiss goodnight,” she whispered.

I looked up into her eyes—lost in their depths.

She perched on the arm of the chair facing me and as she shifted, my hand slid inside the robe where I could feel her bare tummy. She leaned toward me for a kiss and as she did, my hand slid farther up until I was holding her at the rise of her breast, her hand still keeping me from pulling away. At this point, I couldn’t have pulled away if I wanted to. She paused an inch from my lips, eyes locked with mine.

“Don’t feel like you have to touch me if you don’t want to,” she said, releasing my hand. She leaned closer and my hand ascended her round bosom. “Not unless you... want to.” She kissed me and I cupped her breast in my hand, feeling her nipple harden.

I pulled her into my lap as we kissed and petted, letting her shower me with kisses. My lips found every bit of available skin to caress.

“I love you, Kate. I love you and I ache not having you.”

“Really, Tony? Will you ever ... can you ever ... Oh, Tony. Please forgive me. Will you ever be able to call me Kitten again? Please love me. Please let me be your Kitten. I’ve missed you so much.”

“Kitten. Kate. Katarina. Kitty Kate. My Kitten. My love. My darling. Kitten I’ve been so cruel. So stupid. So blind. Please, forgive me, my Kitten. I love you,” I was repeating myself—babbling. A light snapped on in my head. Dad warned me months ago that forgiveness would be the hardest part. Sure, I forgave her for leaving. I forgave her for whatever happened with the Slimy Dick. For walking out on us. But that one night when she’d knelt in front of me, I’d never let go. I’d withheld her pet name ever since—never used it again. Cruel. Vindictive. Punishing her. And myself. Stupid fucking son-of-a-bitch! My special pet name for her. “My Kitten. Oh, Kate, I love you. I’m so sorry.”

“Do you forgive me, Tony?”

“Forgive you? Yes, oh, yes. But how can I forgive myself? It’s been a year. I’ve been so selfish. I forgive you. Please, forgive me.”

“Yes, I forgive you. I forgive you and I love you and I don’t ever want to go through another year like this one. Please love me, Tony. Make love to me.”

I didn’t just make love to her; I worshipped her. As busy as my hands and lips were—exploring, touching, stimulating—hers were just as active. We were starved, kept too long from the banquet before us. We tossed the sofa cushions on the floor in front of the fireplace and spread our robes on them. We lay in each other’s arms as we made love.

“Do you still remember me, Tony?”

“Darling, there have been nights when I’ve awakened from such a vivid dream of you that when I found you weren’t next to me, I panicked. I could still smell your scent in my nostrils, feel your breath on my cheek. When I closed my eyes, they were filled with the vision of you in front of me. I remembered this,” I said as my hand drifted between her legs. It was not to plunge into her or to stroke, but to lightly touch a spot below her opening and slightly to the left.