My name is Shelly Cooper, nee Sterling, and I had the misfortune to have married Ronald James Cooper. Why misfortune? Because today, since I was off due to summer vacation, I decided to surprise my husband of 22 years with a treat for lunch ... me. We have been kind of stale in the boudoir lately. I'm not exactly sure why, but I thought a nooner would perk him up. Well I now know why we have been a little lacking at home. He is getting his quota at work.

Let me explain a few things. First we met in our senior year at college, me working for a degree in public education, I wanted to be a teacher, a builder, and developer of young minds, like mine was developed and nurtured by several of my teachers.

Ron was a business major, with hopes of becoming a captain of industry. We both achieved our objectives. I teach sixth grade and am going to become the new vice principal of a new middle school this fall. Ron is the director of operations for Gasnorf Cutlery here in Olean, New York. I'm originally from Geneseo, NY and Ron is from Hornell, NY. We are born, and bred New Yorkers. Ron started working for a glass company in Corning, NY and then Gasnorf offered him a better job so we moved from Painted Post, NY to here in Olean.

We have two children, both of whom are now in college, one at Syracuse, and one at Bucknell, in Pennsylvania. Robert, 21, is at Syracuse, and active in football and ROTC. Sarah, 19, is at Bucknell, studying for her liberal arts degree so she can be a 'world renowned Art Critic'. Or that is what she says anyway.

I am 44 years old and as trim and fit as I was in college. I can still wear some of my old college clothes. Ron used to love for me to wear my old cheerleader outfit when I cheered on the 'Orangemen' of Syracuse. It was sure to get his motor running. Lately I'm lucky to get his motor to idle, let alone to rev up like it used to be. Ron just turned 45 three weeks ago and I thought I would give him a surprise party. He got mad at me and left as soon as he got home that night and saw the people there for the party. He told me he would be back once everyone went home.

To say that I was embarrassed would be a major understatement. I told everyone that Ron was not feeling good and had to go to the emergency room and I would be going there as soon as everyone left. I called Ron on his cell and told him everyone was gone and that I thought he was being cruel. I was crying when I was talking to him. He came home two hours later and went right to bed. He wouldn't talk to me or anything. The next morning was a Saturday and when he awoke, I was awake too as I had not slept a wink all night.

Once I saw his eyes open I lit into him. "Ronald James Cooper, you ungrateful bastard; I go to all the trouble to give you a surprise birthday party and you spoil the whole thing by insulting me and our friends and then have the unmitigated gall to leave and not come home for two more hours after I told all our guests that you had a medical problem and had to go to the emergency room. Now, before you even get out of bed this morning you are going to explain yourself to my satisfaction or you can just leave again and not come back. But know this you worm, if you leave, you leave with the same things you came into this marriage with, NOTHING! So talk."

"Shell, I'm sorry, I really didn't feel good, and then when I came home and all those people were here, I guess I just lost it and left. I'm sorry, I will try to make it up to you and our friends. We'll have a barbeque next weekend."

"We aren't done mister. That barely scratched the surface; now what the hell is going on with you? You've been this surly, crotchety old fart for a couple of weeks now. What did I do to piss you off?"

"You have done nothing Shell, it is me, and I just don't know what is wrong with me. I guess I really need to go to a doctor and see what is wrong with me. I promise I'll call Monday and make an appointment."

That was it, I got nothing more from him and when I asked when his appointment was he said, "Next week." not next Tuesday or at four on Wednesday, just next week. That is when I realized that we had not been intimate for almost a month. I tried to get something started Monday night by wearing my cheerleader uniform without the panties or the bra and I surprised Ron that night, but he just said he was too tired. I knew something was wrong now. The cheer outfit had never failed before.

I started looking back to when this all started. It was about two weeks after his regular secretary had her baby. Now when Christy first started for Ron, I was real worried, she was just 21 and newly married. She was young, blonde, and very beautiful. But Ron never even flirted with her. I even asked her if he hit on her, but he didn't. But Christy's mother Ruth was filling in for her until after her maternity leave. This way Christy kept getting paid, and her job was not taken by someone else.

Ruth used to be a secretary for many years until her husband retired and she retired too. They were just 52 when they retired. Hank, her husband had made it big in the dot com era and invested wisely and then decided he wanted to take it easy now. So anyway Ruth took over for Christy.

So now we come to when I went to Ron's office to see if I could talk him into a nooner and found he already had one lined up. I walked into his office and I saw Ruth on her back on Ron's desk and her fat pudgy legs in the air and my husband was going to town with his eyes closed. He had the look that I used to see above me when we were younger. He had that stupid look of a man really enjoying fucking his woman. But that was not his woman he was doing. I was supposed to be that woman.

I slammed the door shut and said, "So this is why I'm not getting any at home any more. So I'm not good enough for you anymore. So what does she have that I don't? Well, don't just stand there with your dick hanging out, answer me, you bastard!"

Ruth, nonplussed said from her prone position, "I remind him of his mother, and when she taught him all about sex. Since she died a year ago he has missed his weekly loving from her, so when I volunteered to take Christy's place as his secretary, he saw me as a replacement for Helen. I'm sorry Shelly, but I think you have been replaced."

I reached into my purse, got my phone out, and started taking pictures. "This is going right into my divorce package you bastard. I am going to take you for everything and the blimp is going to get hers too, when I let poor Hank and Christy know what is going one behind their backs."

I turned and started to the door when the big lummox finally got his voice back. "Shell, wait, I can explain. I'm so sorry about all this but I really missed my mom. She and I were very close, you knew that, and I..."

"Yeah, real close huh. So, you have been cheating on me with your mom all this time? That is disgusting, you pervert. Oh you are in deep trouble mister, so deep you may never find your way out." I slammed the door and was on my way to a lawyer.

My best friend, Betty had found her husband cheating and she got this lady lawyer who is just the kind of shark I needed to end this sham of a marriage. I called Betty as I was going down the elevator and she gave me the number and address of Shelia Summers. I called, and said I needed an appointment and today would be great. The lady I talked to said to come right over.

Once I unloaded my story to Shelia about my bastard soon to be ex, she let me rant and rave and then I just collapsed. I was rendered down to a weeping mess of feminine hormones. I had explained what I saw and what I heard and I was done. I felt betrayed and foolish. Sure I remembered that Ron was always going over to his mom's place; at least once a week, and sometimes twice. Ron's dad died when he was 12 and Helen never remarried. Now I see why, she had her son to take care of her. I knew Ron was somewhat a mama's boy, but I certainly didn't know the extent of that relationship.

Ron never fought the divorce I got the house, my car, and my half of everything, well actually seventy percent of everything. I got alimony for the next ten years or until I remarry, like that is a real chance. Who wants a washed up old woman of 44, who even though she is pretty and trim but can't keep her husband because she is not short and fat.