I've always loved this time of year, spring, the season of rebirth. I've been eager to get my hands back into the soil and watch everything come alive all around me. My garden has been my joy, my escape and my tranquility. It has been the answer: whether I was stressed, needed to seek solutions, or ground myself, or just yearned for beauty to appreciate. Relationships have been challenging for me, but I've always had my garden, and it never let me down.
This year, I chose to use a different technique to propagate some bushes, as I haven't had much luck with this variety by rooting cuttings. I decided to air layer some branches, so I could get roots growing without ending up with dried up twigs. To do so, I needed to go to the nursery to get some sphagnum moss. I've enjoyed being as self-sufficient as possible, but even with producing my own electricity and pumping my own water, I'd never be able to find sphagnum moss on my property. Though the beauty of my property was begging to be enjoyed, it was time to head to the nursery.
At the nursery I found the moss quickly, and looked forward to returning home. While waiting in line to check out, I glanced at the community bulletin board. It was a nice service of this nursery, allowing people to post notices of garden meetings, plants to share and help wanted. I noticed a 3 X 5 card that drew my attention:
5th grade teacher seeking qualified person to demonstrate
propagation techniques during upcoming botany unit.
Please contact Jayne Nelson at Oak Grove Elementary School.
If there was one thing I loved more than my garden, it was sharing knowledge with individuals who were eager to learn. I removed the card and placed it in my pocket. Since it was Saturday, and I figured a 5th grade teacher wouldn't be at school, I decided to go home and work on my air layering.
Monday morning, I called the elementary school and asked to leave a message. On her voice mail, I left the following message: "Hi Ms Nelson. My name is Jim Hayworth. I noticed your request at the local nursery and would love to help out. I have had many years of propagation experience and love to share with people who want to learn. I am available any Monday, Wednesday or Friday morning. You can reach me at 555-555-4908. I look forward to meeting your class."
At noon, my phone rang. "Hello, Mr. Hayworth, this is Jayne Nelson from Oak Grove Elementary," came the voice at the other end.
"Just call me Jim."
"I was so happy to hear from you, Mr., I mean Jim. I posted that notice six weeks ago and was afraid no one was going to respond. I need to start the botany unit next week. I've never done any significant propagating, and didn't want my students to miss out on the experience."
"How would it be if I stop by during your lunch break on Wednesday, so you can show me your lesson plan and facilities? That way, I'll know what you already have and what I'll need to bring."
"That would be perfect. We take our lunch break at 11:45am. Just check in at the administration office first, and they will direct you to my room, #B-12. I'll clear your arrival with the principal. Thank you for being so generous."
"No problem, it sounds like fun. I look forward to Wednesday."
Having always been a stickler for punctuality, I was waiting at the classroom door when the children started to file out. After the flow of students ended, I walked into the classroom. I noticed there were a few stragglers, and the teacher was helping one student with a math problem. I stood there waiting, and a little girl slowly walked by, looking up at me as if amazed to see another adult in the classroom. I smiled at her and said "Hi." She shyly looked away and scurried out of the classroom. After the last student departed, the teacher approached me.
"You must be Jim; I'm Jayne," she said as she offered me her hand.
I knew she was rushed for time, so we went right into her lesson plan. After describing what she wanted to do, she offered to show me the remnants of the school garden. Unfortunately, due to budget cutbacks, the garden was no longer being maintained. We walked over to the garden, which was just around the corner from her classroom. There were four raised bed gardens, overgrown with weeds, and 3 fruit trees: an apple, a peach and a plum. New leaves and blossoms were already budding out on the trees.
"Jayne, this is a nice setup. How have the budget cutbacks affected your garden?"
"We no longer have any money for plants and seeds, and the gardener's hours have been cut, so he can no longer care for the area."
"I can provide seeds and plants from my garden. Could we get your students to volunteer to care for the plants?"
"This is more than I ever imagined. Jim, you are very generous. I'm sure my students will jump at the opportunity to be part of this garden's rebirth. Thank you very much. I'd love to spend more time with you, but our lunch periods are very short, and I've got to get back to my students. Would you be able to start this Monday at 9am?"
"That would be perfect. I'll scrape together a few odds and ends and look forward to helping out. If you can get some students to clear the weeds out of one of these raised beds, it will save us some time on Monday."
"I'm sure that won't be a problem. I look forward to Monday."
"I'll see you then."
After class, Susie, the shy girl, lingered after the other students had left. She came up to me and asked, "Miss Nelson, is that your boyfriend? He's very nice..." Leaning close to my ear, she whispered, "and he's cute, too."
I must have blushed as I told her, "No, he is just a nice man who has volunteered to help us learn about plants for our botany unit starting on Monday."
"Well, at least he is coming back. I like him."
It had been a busy day, and I hadn't had time to think, but Susie sparked my thought process, and I realized I liked him, too ... and he was cute. I mentioned to Susie that he asked me to see if any of the students were willing to pull the weeds out of one of the raised beds, so we could get started with planting on Monday.
"Can I help? Please? Please?"
"Sure," I said. "Let's ask in class tomorrow and see if anyone wants to give you a hand."
The next day, I realized I wouldn't have difficulty finding volunteers, as all the hands raised at once. With all those helpers, we were able to clear the weeds during lunch that day. Everyone kept talking about what they wanted to grow in the garden. I helped them make a list and promised to pass it along to Mr. Hayworth.
Following up on my commitment, I called Jim on Saturday morning and shared the list with him. He assured me he would bring what he had and get the rest in the near future. He was so easy to talk with. Time flew by. Finally, he told me he had a meeting he had to go to, and I apologized for taking up so much of his morning (I just realized we had been talking for 2 — hours).
"Nothing to apologize for, I enjoyed every minute," he said. "I look forward to Monday morning, and more to come."
After hanging up, I realized I felt very relaxed, and yet unusually invigorated. His words kept popping into my mind, along with his very soothing voice. I then thought about how the conversation ended. "And more to come." Was my mind playing tricks? Was I reading into these words? After all, he did offer to continue working with my students. That must be what he meant. But, what if???? I started to fantasize. No, I couldn't go there. I remembered what that had led to in the past. I'd better keep this very professional. After all, I wouldn't want to lose what looked to be a very good resource.
Monday morning arrived. I showed up at the classroom with several boxes of materials, supplies and tools and was immediately introduced to the class.
"Class, this is Mr. Hayworth. He will be helping us to learn about how to grow plants in ways you may have never even thought of."
"Just call me Jim. I'm just one of you. I love plants and just want to share my love of plants with you. Let's go out to your garden and get started."
Upon arriving at the garden, I complimented the class on how well they removed the weeds and prepared the soil. I pointed out that we'd just get started today and would continue to plant throughout the year. I pointed out that different plants needed to be planted at different times of the year; some because they needed a particular growing season, and some because we wanted multiple crops of the same foods or ornamentals.
I took the students over to the trees and asked them if anyone knew what types of trees they were. Everyone responded with quizzical looks on their faces. I identified the apple, peach and plum trees. Walking over to the apple tree, I asked, "Who would like to eat the pears we grow on this tree?"
The kids started laughing. "Pears don't grow on apple trees. That's silly."
"Then who would like to be silly with me and enjoy the pears we grow on this tree?" Most of the kids just laughed again, but Susie walked up and said, "I believe you Jim. I'll enjoy eating the pears we grow on that tree." The other kids stopped laughing. Maybe I was serious, they thought.
At that point, I looked in my box and pulled out a bag. In the bag was a stick. I showed the kids the stick and asked them what it was. "A stick," they all shouted. "Actually," I said, "this is called scion wood. It is a cutting from a Bosc pear tree. Today, I'm going to show you how to attach this cutting from a pear tree onto this apple tree. In time, we will actually be able to harvest pears from this apple tree."
A boy called out, "I like oranges. Can I grow oranges on this tree, also?"
"No," I said. "To graft different varieties onto one tree, they must all be in the same family, and though apples and pears are in the same family, oranges are in the citrus family. You can grow oranges and lemons and grapefruit on the same tree, though."
I showed them how to graft the scion onto the apple tree, explaining that the scion had to be cut when it was dormant and kept refrigerated until the sap started flowing in the tree and new growth was coming out. I showed them that this was the ideal time to graft onto their trees. When I finished the graft, I showed them how to stretch and wrap Parafilm over the new graft, to retain the scion's moisture. I explained that Parafilm can be expensive, but I actually got mine for free. I went to the local blood bank and donated some blood. Since they used Parafilm and were willing to share, we now had some to use on the grafts. "Ewwww," shrieked the kids. I pointed out that we all needed to do our part in sharing what we have to offer. I let them know my donating blood could help save the life of one of their friends, if that friend was in need of blood. I wanted them to learn the value of sharing. I didn't want them to feel it was acceptable to hoard all of the crops for themselves.
I asked them if they'd like to use the crops to make a meal that could be enjoyed by the other faculty and students in the school. They seemed to like that idea. "What else could we do with our extra crops?" I asked.
One girl asked, "Could we offer them to some of the families that may not be able to afford fresh vegetables and fruit?"
"That sounds like a great idea," I responded.
"Let me show you one more thing before we run out of time today. Let's plant this tomato plant." I proceeded to cut all the branches off of the plant, leaving only the top few leaves on the plant. There were more shrieks and giggles from the kids. They thought this was strange. Why would I ruin a perfectly good tomato plant like that? I then dug a trench, laid the plant down on its side, bent the top up above surface level and then filled in the trench with soil. I pointed out that roots on tomatoes grow outward, not downward, and every spot where I removed a branch would grow more roots, allowing for a greater root structure to support the tomato plant. I then took all the cuttings from the tomato plant, dipped them in rooting hormone and planted them in little pots, offering them to anyone who wanted to grow tomatoes at his or her home.
Our first day went great. The kids were enthusiastic, and I loved watching their smiles, along with the smile on their teacher's face. As we finished up and the kids returned to class, Jayne told me I was giving much more than she had expected and she wanted to repay me. I explained I only did what I enjoyed doing, so that was payment enough. She said she'd like to at least treat me to a dinner. I told her I knew teachers didn't get paid much, so I couldn't let her do that. She suggested a picnic on Saturday, so I accepted.
When I returned on Wednesday for the next installment, the kids were very excited to see me. They were amazed at how much they were learning and how much fun it was to learn. One boy asked me, "Do you do gardening as a job?"
"No," I responded. "Everyone can enjoy gardening. It is just my hobby, and I love sharing my hobby with anyone who would enjoy it as I do."
"What do you do for a living?" the boy asked.
"I actually teach sociology at the state college," I responded.
As we walked back to the classroom, Jayne came up to me and said, "I feel a bit embarrassed, having introduced you as Mr. Hayworth. I assume it is actually Dr. Hayworth."
"Well, yes, but I'm still just Jim."
Saturday came, and I met Jayne at the local nature center. She had made a delicious lunch, which tasted as good as it looked. We spent the day hiking the trails and talking. We talked about many subjects and felt very comfortable together.
As the sun started to set, Jayne said, "I don't want this day to end. I am having a wonderful time."
"I, too, can't remember the last time I've enjoyed such comfortable and beautiful company," I replied.
Jayne blushed. She looked so cute when she blushed.
I walked her to her car and thanked her for the delicious meal and even more impressive companionship.
We continued working in the school garden, and everything came in beautifully. I noticed Jayne looked at me more, and smiled at me more. I found myself looking at her more, also, but not wanting to ruin what we had with the students, I chose not to rock the boat and take any chances. Anyway, my luck in the area of relationships had never been much to write home about.
One day, Jayne said, "With all you've shown us here, I'd love to see your garden."
"It's not all that fancy. I mainly just experiment and see what happens."
"I'd love to help you work in your garden," she stated.
I hoped my mixed feelings weren't too obvious, but I agreed to let her help me in my garden this Saturday.
The day in the garden proved to be much better than I had anticipated. I thought we would be silenced by awkwardness, yet communication flowed as we worked together. I knew we were both still very cautious, though we caught ourselves shooting furtive glances at each other. Later, I broke down and addressed the elephant in the room.
"Jayne, I sense something here. Actually, I sense much here. I have truly enjoyed all we have shared together, but I feel a need to discover the hidden truth. If it gets between us, and we find ourselves pulling apart, I will truly be sad, but I feel we are caught on a fence, unable to determine which direction to go. I must allow the vulnerability that can help us to see the most sensible direction for us."
I reached out my hand to her. She removed her glove and returned the offer. Upon removing my glove, I took her hand and led her to the shade of an old tree. We sat on a bed of leaves and leaned against the tree. I hoped she didn't feel me shaking as I held her hand. Her hand felt so soft and smooth. It was small and delicate, yet very strong, seeming to get lost in my larger hand. I took a deep breath, looked into her eyes and started to talk.
"Jayne, I sense both of us have been hurt in past relationships, so we are both very cautious. Healthy relationships are very beautiful, yet so hard to find. I see a blend of things from you and feel a blend of emotions within me. I am just now beginning to be able to identify those specifics. The key to any healthy relationship, including friendship, is open, honest communication. I have never lied to you, but I have withheld sensitive parts of my heart that have previously been deeply hurt. I don't want to withhold anything from you any more."
I looked into her eyes to gauge her receptiveness. Her eyes seemed to reveal a depth that wanted to be exposed. Her lips were soft, barely parted, hinting at a smile that revealed her desire along with her fear. I felt her hand tenderly yet firmly grasp mine. I saw she wanted to speak. Softly, she said, "Jim," but all that followed was silence. I saw a slight quiver in her lower lip as her head slowly nodded up and down. I placed my other hand on our hands, and she joined that hand with her other hand. The caution had to go. I could tell we both wanted full disclosure and investment.
"Jayne, let me share what has brought me to this place in my life. This past May, I turned 58. I've lived a full and enjoyable life, but have never truly connected with that special person I've wanted to share my life with. I was a late bloomer. Though I fantasized about girls, probably from the age of 12, I just studied and admired them from afar. I was too shy to reach out to any of them. Starting in my mid-teens, there were girls who showed me interest, though they were all on the pudgy side. I find it interesting that during my entire life, only pudgy females have ever initiated contact with me, though my fantasies were all about the slender, toned ones, like you. The slender ones may have responded respectfully to my subtle hints, but either couldn't read my signs or weren't interested, so there was no follow through. My first date was my high school senior prom, and that was just a study in awkwardness. I finally did start dating, yet seemed to find girls who had their own agenda, tolerating me while their immediate needs were being met, but distancing themselves when a better opportunity arrived."
"College was an eye-opener for me. I didn't realize how little I knew about myself. I had never questioned the path that had been laid out for me, and the college experience helped me realize how much more there was to life. I met a girl, who was very nice and comfortable to be with, but she knew who she was and where she was going in life, and I felt like a piece of clay with no form or direction. Though I felt a great desire for her, I had to pull myself away from her, fearful I would just give in to her life and never discover my true identity hidden within me."
"My first true love, who I actually pictured myself marrying, was with me during my military service. She couldn't deal with the physical distance, so ended up getting involved with another guy. This hit me very hard. I didn't understand what was happening. She was very guarded about sharing her feelings, and I felt lost in the unknown. This experience helped me discover the importance of communication."
I noticed Jayne was soaking in every word I shared. I didn't feel her flinch or withdraw. If anything, I felt her holding my hands more assuredly, yet very tenderly. I'm not sure if it was the interest in her eyes, the comfort of her lips or the reassuring touch of her hands, but something told me she was invested and I was safe in her presence.
I told her of my personal challenge, after being hurt so deeply, to take time to discover who I was and what type of woman would be right for me. "I did a lot of exploration and discovery. By the time I felt ready to settle down, I was no longer meeting eligible women. All the women I reached out to seemed to have their own agendas and were only focused on what was in it for them. Eventually, I gave up on my active search, as I didn't want to face more disappointment. I buried myself in my career, my volunteer work and my garden. Though I knew there was a void in my life, I was content ... till now. Jayne, having you this close to me and sharing all we have shared, I find myself wanting to take the chance and discover if my fantasy of an equal, quality partner is something that could become reality."
"Jim, thank you for sharing. I appreciate the trust you are giving me. I will do all in my power to be worthy of that trust. I find myself much in the same boat as you. I just turned 48 last March and haven't been in a relationship since my 30's. Let me level the playing field and share my life with you."
"As I was growing up, I was also painfully shy, yet extremely curious,. School was my life, and I guess you would have viewed me as a nerd. I gravitated toward the sciences, due to my insatiable curiosity and wanting to understand how everything worked and how I fit into this crazy world. I watched the girls around me getting attention, but I was just Plain Jayne, the one people went to when they didn't understand the homework. I'm not sure anyone truly noticed me in high school, and I didn't even get invited to my senior prom."
"I did have a close relationship with my cousin Tammy, though, and we shared our deepest thoughts, feelings and fantasies. Neither of us was popular, so we found in each other a safe place to pretend and live our lives vicariously. Not wanting to take the chance of losing any opportunity that might arise, we actually taught each other whatever we thought we might need to know, starting with kissing and even discovered our own sexuality with each other."
I watched Jim closely, as I shared this information, not wanting to scare him off, yet knowing total openness was necessary to get where I wanted to go. His body language, the look of his eyes and his hands on mine convinced me he understood and was OK with what he was hearing.
"I wanted to have a relationship, but I felt like an ugly duckling, a fish out of water. I put forth a good effort, but nothing lasted. Maybe one reason was that I always chose more outgoing guys, hoping they could bring me out of my shell. I also insisted on being an equal partner, not wanting to be dependent on anyone, and I believe some men are uncomfortable with women they can't control. I think they used me till something better came along. When I did see their new partners, the partners all seemed to fit closer to society's picture of the ideal woman, outgoing and busty. In time, I gave up my search and found happiness in my shell. I've discovered ways I can function effectively in society and interact well with all types of people. I realized I didn't need to change myself to feel happy and fulfilled, though I have missed the intimacy of being with a partner. I have felt satisfied with my life, though I do still find myself relying on my nightly self-pleasuring to keep me in touch with my femininity. All has been fine, till recently. Feelings have been awakened inside of me. I see things in more vivid colors and hear things in high fidelity. The part of me I buried, for self-preservation, is coming alive. I find myself excited and scared to death, all at the same time."
"I can truly relate to where you are right now, Jayne. I feel the same as you do. I have listened to all you have shared since we met, and I haven't found any red flags that tell me to stop and run away. If there are any red flags, they are my own insecurities hidden within me. I believe both of us know we have a lot of positives to bring to a healthy partnership. Unfortunately, we've picked so many incompatible partners we question our own judgment."
"One major problem I have encountered is I tend to be attracted to a particular look in a woman. Unfortunately, that look is not the one society promotes, so I find it very rare to locate a woman who looks attractive to me and still has good self-esteem. Jayne, one reason I can't seem to take my eyes off of you is you have the look that energizes me. Plastic girly girls turn me off. I like subtle, natural beauty. I look at you and feel femininity flow from you. Rather than hiding behind a mask of makeup, you let your features express your true identity. Your eyes show me so much depth and caring and true interest. I enjoy your fresh clean scent, which has no need to be hidden by overpowering perfume. I also like that you are comfortable getting dirty. In fact, I love that little dirt smudge right there on your cheek. Your smile is soft and sensual and very inviting. I find myself drawn to your smooth skin, yet, not wanting to scare you off, I have held back my urges to touch you. I love your natural brown hair with the subtle sun-influenced highlights. The length is perfect, just touching your shoulders. That is short enough to make it easy to care for, yet long enough to add to your feminine mystique. Since I enjoy subtleties, I avoid things and situations I find to be overwhelming. From your soothing voice to your small build to your tender touch, I can't find anything that doesn't draw me closer. I know there is much more to explore and discover, yet, if the rest follows suit with what I've already experienced, you will have my total undivided attention. I even love the way you are blushing right now. Realize though, I am not making anything up to sell you on something just to get what I want. What I have shared is what I believe to be true. It is my reality, and my enjoyment. I feel revitalized around you. I feel like a little kid again, eager to be playful and show you that you are special to me."
"OK, Jim, that's enough for now. If you keep feeding me this information, my head will swell and eventually explode, and I'd hate to mess up your beautiful garden. Let's go for a walk. I need to cool down a bit. Let me get back in the sun. I think it will do a good job of cooling me down. Here, help me up."
I was caught off-guard by his strength. A little lift, and I found myself flying into Jim's arms. I felt his arms around my shoulders, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat ... I'd never cool off this way. Twisting away, yet keeping one arm around his waist, I said, "Show me around."
I could tell Jim enjoyed sharing his garden. He had many interesting plants and fruits. As we walked to a hidden spot in his garden, I saw a pond with a waterfall that looked and sounded very relaxing. Upon closer inspection, I noticed a Jacuzzi tub almost covered by plants.
"Jim, remember that smudge on my cheek. I believe it could use a little cleaning. Care to join me?"
"But, we don't have our suits," he protested.
"Are you afraid I might see you or you might see me," I said with a smile. "I believe the time for hiding anything has passed. Let's make our decision based on the facts." I fought my tendency to shyly turn away and looked straight into Jim's eyes. I needed to know his true reaction to everything. My fingers reached to the buttons at the top of my blouse, and I slowly unbuttoned them, one at a time. I watched Jim do the same. My hands were shaking, but I made progress. As my finger brushed the exposed skin just above my bra, I felt a shiver quiver through my body. I watched the brown curls on Jim's chest being exposed. I wanted to run my fingers through them, but I needed to be patient.
Our shirts were undone. We slipped them off and laid them to the side. I slowly turned around, showing him all angles. His eyes were glued to me. I saw a bulge growing in his shorts, and I smiled. My thumb popped the snap on my shorts, and the zipper slowly descended. I watched Jim do the same; though realized he faced a greater challenge working around his obstacle than I did. Our shorts slid to the ground, and we kicked them on top of our shirts. Jim's briefs were having a hard time containing his ever-growing manhood, and I enjoyed the sight.
Reaching behind my back, I unhooked my bra and slid it off of my arms, exposing my firm little breasts, topped by very erect nipples. So far, he hadn't run away. Was it just the newness, was he just being respectful or did he truly like what he saw? As I slipped my thumbs under the elastic of my panties, I eagerly watched Jim replicate my actions, and we both found the last remnants of cover sliding down our legs, leaving us totally exposed and revealed in truth. I liked seeing that Jim was circumcised and a very reasonable size. He definitely didn't need Viagra.
"Let me give you a hand now," Jim offered. He gave me his right hand and slid his left hand to the small of my back, leading me closer to the tub. After removing the lid, he put his hands on my waist and lifted me on to the side of the tub. He removed my shoes and socks very sensually before hopping up and removing his. I rotated my body and brought my legs over the side and into the water. It felt wonderful. We sank down into the water, sitting opposite each other. Nothing was said, yet I felt his toes explore my feet. I enjoyed the sensation.
"Jim, I am curious. I was happy to see your size, not too big and not too small. I've always felt that guys who are large rely on their stretching capabilities, but lack in technique and caring. It's as if they believe their size is all they need to offer. Could it be the same with your enjoyment of small breasts?"
"Yes, very much so. I've found that small-breasted women seem to be more interested in how they use their body than large-breasted women, who either lie there as passive recipients or get lost in themselves as if they are just using the man's body to masturbate on. Jayne, you are so beautiful. I loved watching you share your hidden treasures with me. When you took off your blouse, I noticed your small breasts nicely filled out your bra. Rather than wearing a baggy or padded bra, trying to be something you aren't, you just stretched the thin material, drawing attention to your beautiful, subtle curves, topped off by those wonderful nipples that stand at attention and salute me. Another bonus is realizing that at 48 your girls are still firm and stand high and proud on your chest. I'm enjoying watching you breathe right now and could never tire of this sight. I also prefer the sensual styles small-breasted women can wear to the styles that are better suited for large-breasted women."
"OK, Jim, I like what I'm hearing, but I'm getting a bit embarrassed, so come over here and keep me company." Sliding over, Jim moved till our bodies touched. I looked up into his eyes, and he put his arm around me. We fit so well together. Jim massaged my shoulder as we talked. I felt so comfortable and so close to him. It was as if we had known each other forever. It was amazing how a little thing like open, honest communication could lead to something as special as this.
I couldn't believe how the time had flown. The sun was starting to set, and it hit me that we didn't have any towels. When I mentioned it, Jim reassured me he had some towels in the cabinet under the tub. He climbed out of the tub and got the towels. Holding one open, he invited me out of the tub. As I got out of the tub, he wrapped a warm towel around me and held me closely. I melted into his arms.
"Jim, I can't imagine a place I'd rather be right now, but I want to take this slowly and savor each step of our exploration and discovery. I need to leave now, giving myself time to absorb all the nuances of this wonderful day. Never before have I felt so special nor felt so right in being with a man. Thank you for inviting me into your world and for making this day so memorable."
"Jayne, I was settled into a belief that my fantasy would just remain a fantasy, and now I realize it truly will remain just a fantasy, for reality with you is well beyond any fantasy I could have ever imagined. I am so happy you placed that notice at the nursery. I look forward to seeing what develops between us. I've never felt so happy, fulfilled and eager as I am right now, envisioning joining you hand-in-hand on a journey through life."
Our minds locked in our erotic images as our clothing returned to our bodies. We knew this was just a taste of what was to come. Sliding his arm around my waist, Jim walked me to my car. At my car, I put my arms around Jim's waist, looked up into his eyes and then tenderly placed my lips on Jim's, lingering in the soft, comforting warmth I was feeling. Pulling away, I got into my car. I took a deep breath, started my car and then drove to my home.
I felt like a giddy little girl. I knew my students were excited, awaiting Jim's arrival. If they only knew what was rushing through my mind. I spent Saturday night and all day Sunday sorting all the images, thoughts, sounds, scents and touches that were engraved in my mind. As everything was processed in my mind, the depth of the experience truly hit me. I've never imagined anything so perfect. I found myself floating on a cloud.
He finally arrived. His smile went to the students, and they eagerly rushed around him. Looking around the room, his eyes connected with mine. He nodded and winked. That connection was all I needed.
Seeing Jim work in the garden brought back so many special memories. I felt so proud; proud that this wonderful man showed so much caring to my students and proud that this man wanted to be with me. Everyone was winning. It was so hard to cloak my feelings from my students. Could I truly hide my feelings from them? For how long? As Jim finished and prepared to leave, he slipped an envelope into my hand. I slid it into my pocket. My heart was pounding.
With the kids out to lunch, I sat at my desk and removed the envelope from my pocket. I opened it, took in a deep breath and started to read.
My Dearest Jayne,
Words fail me, as emotions flood through the essence of my being. Your intoxicating image is carved deep into my soul, and nothing will ever alter that image. I only hope I am strong enough to work with your students today and not rush over and embrace you. My lips are still tingling from that last touch you shared before you left. I feel there is nothing I couldn't feel safe sharing with you. I have never felt so free in all my life. Life's stressors melt away with each smile you share. I melt away with each touch you share. My words seem so cheap and meaningless in comparison to what I feel for you inside. Thank you for opening the door. Thank you for stepping in. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being you. You are better than a dream come true. I look forward to us developing something very special together.
Yours, always and forever,
Lost in the moment, I vaguely became aware of a tiny hand handing me a tissue. "I can tell those tears are tears of joy," she softly spoke. "You are the best teacher ever, and you deserve to be this happy." I opened my arms and drew this little girl close. Into my ear, she whispered, "I love you, Miss Nelson."
"I love you too, Susie."
That night, Jim and I talked on the telephone for hours. We never seemed to run out of things to share. He told me of his desire for me, and I had to admit I desired him just as much. Being the caring, responsible man he was, he told me he would never take any chances with my well being, so he called the VA and set up an appointment to get a full STD panel done on him. It had been a long time since he'd been with anyone, and he had been tested since then, but he wanted a recent test to reassure me. He also told me he had a vasectomy, so pregnancy wouldn't be a concern. He was so sweet to be so concerned about me. I told him I would also get tested. We talked about getting together this weekend, and he suggested we could harvest some crops from his garden on Saturday and then prepare a nice meal with the harvest. That sounded great to me.
Saturday, I enjoyed preparing for our day. I knew Jim enjoyed me natural, so I just added subtle highlights. I decided to wear a short silk skirt that flowed very nicely when I moved. On top, I wore a lightweight cotton button down blouse. I enjoyed knowing he loved looking at me. I felt so sexy around him. When I got to his home, we enjoyed the sun, the garden and playing in the kitchen. Dinner turned out delicious. We enjoyed the taste and our playfulness. It was fun feeding each other with our fingers. We talked about our future and expressed strong desire to share that future with each other. Jim was so sensual with his voice and his touches that I felt all tingly inside and out.
After we ate, I sat on his lap, put my arms around him and kissed him deeply. I found it so hard to be close to him and not touch him. That was the worst challenge at school. While sitting on his lap, I became aware of his obvious arousal. I moved around a bit to enjoy the sensation, though my movements just seemed to cause him to grow larger. I loved knowing his desire and feeling his desire. Never before had I ever felt more like a woman or more desired as a woman. Leaning toward his ear, I whispered. "Jim, this is so unfair."
"What is so unfair?" he responded.
"I get to enjoy your obvious arousal and desire, yet you have to just guess what is going on inside of me."
"What you say and what you do convince me our desires are the same," said Jim. "I can patiently wait for the rest, because I know how wonderful it will be and know it will come ... in more ways than one," he added with a sly smile.
I took his hand in mine, looked deep into his eyes and said, "No, that isn't enough." I raised his fingers to my lips, gently kissing each one. Continuing to look deep into his eyes, I lowered his hand till it was resting on my knee. With a very light touch, I guided his hand, circling over my knee three times. Slightly parting my legs, I began to guide him up the soft warm skin between my thighs and beneath my skirt. My legs parted just enough to allow his hand entry. I removed my hand when his fingers reached my soaked panties. "I want you to know it is real, not just words," I softly said.
Our eyes remained locked on each other as he explored me through my panties. My lips were hot and puffy. I felt him lightly explore, as a blind man using Braille. I was so sleek and lubricated, that I pictured a kid on a sled flowing up and down, in slow motion, over each new curve that presented itself to him. He seemed to want to study me, yet held back any invasions of any kind. He was so patient; more so than I felt I could be. I sensed he wanted to learn all he could before he took any action. I liked that about him, for when he did take action, it was generally very well thought out and perfectly beautiful in its application. I had nothing to hide from him and wanted him to know everything about me.