Chapter 2: The Importance of Variety

"I apologise if I shock you," Julian went on. "But in some ways my mission is a shocking one. My Office exists in order to promote genetic variety in our royal line while maintaining the strengths of an inherited monarchy. It is, we believe, the most reliable way of providing our country with its head of state. Your republican views will at least allow for the fact that the system has worked for some time?"

I was intrigued by the fact that he knew of my opinions regarding such constitutional matters. I rarely express my views publicly, knowing that few others share them. "Your research has been thorough," I replied, resenting the intrusion into my life that must have been needed to determine my political beliefs. "I consider the present system archaic and flawed and I believe that it inculcates in the populace an unhealthy cult of celebrity, but I would allow that many presidential systems are the same."

"Then I take it that your views would not prevent you from undertaking a task which would support our monarchy?"

"No. The current system might not be the one I would prefer but I have no interest in hastening its demise without the prospect of a better one."

"Very good. As I said, my Office exists to promote genetic variety in the royal family. We do this by trying to ensure that our royals fuck the right people or, at least, that they fuck the right people when it comes to the matter of producing heirs to titles. Who they fuck for amusement is no concern of ours, thank goodness! The genetic management of royal progeny is made difficult by the concentration of gene types within the European families. We have to look further afield but still retain a sense of legitimacy in those that marry in to the family. Fortunately our Empire now embraces many kingdoms and we are able to consider unions between our royalty and families previously not linked to our own."

"Do I take it that you arrange marriages between our royals and those of other nations?"

"Arrange is a strong word. Promote, perhaps, encourage even. Our advice is sought; we seek to provide the best possible advice. We have collated an immense body of material concerning the lineage of the royal families throughout the empire together with an exhaustive assessment of the tendency to genetic deficiencies. We will even, in the most extreme circumstances, identify an appropriate individual from the common classes although fortunately this has only been needed once in recent times. We are well-placed to suggest the best possible match, the most responsible match, genetically. That is our purpose. Our advice is usually taken. Sometimes it may not be. The only circumstance in which that occurred in recent memory resulted in a most unfortunate state of affairs which required the most extreme of remedies. I will not trouble you with the details."

"But you intend to trouble me in some other way, I think. How does the Office of Genetic Responsibility come to be consulting me?"

"You will be aware that genetics is not the only thing that goes to make an ideal life partner, especially one that can cope with the peculiar demands of a life in the public eye as a member of what Her Majesty, I believe, calls 'The Firm'. Heaven knows, some of the marriages that our royal family has engaged in have demonstrated that clearly enough."

I nodded. The male line particularly had shown unfortunately poor judgement with its selection of spouses.

"Your own trade is concerned not so much with nature but with nurture. Your capabilities are directed to the changes that can be brought about in an individual through personal development. That is the skill that we wish to make use of. We have a particular requirement. We have found a sound genetic proposition in an area where we are being asked for our recommendations but the subject's behavioural fit, shall we say, is less good. We believe you could address that. I suspect the required programme would be much as you provided for Mrs Nicola James, or for the Tusker sisters."

I found his remarks disturbing. I do not advertise the clients I have worked with and I do not suppose that they spread their accounts of my activities widely either. He had a way of smiling when he delivered these insights into my personal and professional life that I found most discomforting.

"You seem well informed, Doctor, over matters I considered confidential." I replied, more than a little testily.

"Yes," Castwich responded enigmatically without elaborating, "I suppose that I must."

He was evidently going to add no more. Even so I was intrigued by his proposition and, from a pecuniary perspective, I imagined that such a project could well be attractive. "Go on. You have my attention if not my agreement yet."