The Confessions of a Vengeful Teenager

Dear Ezra,

I got your letter. Dad found out about our liaison and went mental at your mum last week and me. I think your brother probably told him and I have been grounded, it is so unfair. He just said if he ever catches you he will tear your balls off but he doesn't know I am writing to you. Mum already knew. She came home early that day, heard us and then left for half-an-hour so she didn't interrupt. Parents are so deceitful.

Because of Dad, please try and post any replies in a town that isn't Bolton or else if he sees the postmark he will know. I have a couple of pen friends from Guide Camps so it won't be too bad if the letters come from another town, and I usually get the post before he does.

I have so much to tell you. You did make me promise to tell you what goes on, 'round here.

Our school was shut for a few days at the start of term. You know someone got in over the holidays and turned the taps on in the lab and toilets? After they cleaned that up, they found a huge crack in the wall and the builder guys wouldn't promise the school it wouldn't fall down without a survey so we all had a few extra days holiday. Mrs Droney was very angry about it, it wasn't anything to do with you, was it? I bet it was!