Chapter 15: Taking Off the Blinders

May 7, 1981

As usual, Dad dropped me off about forty minutes before school started. It was a beautiful spring morning. There was a cloudless blue sky, and just the slightest trace of a chill in the air as I strode up the walkway toward the school entrance. Today would be an important day in this life. I had a lot on my plate, and a lot of delicate business to tend to.

The groundwork had been set the previous evening. I'd had that long talk with Eileen. It had been by far the most in-depth and productive talk I'd had with my sister, and it really meant a lot to me. It's hard to overstate how important one's siblings become to someone who has lived through another life without any brothers or sisters in that life.

I broke the ice by getting right to the point.

"I talked to Dave today."

Her eyes displayed alarm at first, but then relaxed as she saw I was just making conversation.

"Did he tell you he asked me to the senior prom?" I was pleased to see that she was not afraid to get to the point, either.

"He did." I paused, for effect, then flashed a grin. "And?"

"I told him I'd go with him," she smiled.

"Good for you. I'll enjoy having the two of you at my table."

She remained silent; she'd figured out where this was leading.

"And," I continued, "I'm always more than happy to have you join me at my table at lunchtime. Listen, Eileen, I was a real jerk last year. I can't believe I said the things I did. I'll only be at St. James for a few more weeks, but from now till the end of school year, you are always welcome to sit with me and my friends."

She wasn't completely buying it, not yet.

"Is that because I'm going to the prom with one of your friends?"

"Eileen ... Dave or no Dave, you're always welcome to sit with me. I can't stress that enough."

"Laurie, too?

"Laurie, too," I assured her. "I'm just glad that someone talked some sense into me before I graduated."

"And that would be Dave, right?"

"That's correct."

Eileen paused, before adding, "He really is a good guy."

"Yes, he is."

From there, we got to talking about other things. I mentioned my own plans for the prom, and let her in on the secret that, up till now, I had told no one else.

She looked stunned at first upon hearing it. Then, a smile began to spread across her face.

"I like that idea, Pat. You're making an excellent choice. And it takes guts, too."

"Thanks. You're the first person I told about this, you know?"

Eileen's smile became just that much brighter.

I went on, "I have an idea. Did you tell Mom and Dad about Dave asking you to the prom?"

"Not yet. I was gonna tell them tonight."

"Why not hold off till tomorrow? Let's tell them your plans and mine at the same time. It might be easier for them to handle everything in one big dose," I grinned. "We'll spring it on them over dinner."

Of course, I didn't yet know how my master plan would turn out.

Eileen and Laurie did in fact join us at lunch. The table was crowded; they had to pull up a couple of chairs and kind of squeeze in at the corners. But nobody minded. My sister was chatty and appeared to fit right in. It was apparent that I'd broken down a major barrier with her; I was thrilled beyond belief with this development.

Diana sat adjacent to me, as usual, not joining too much in the conversation. I felt kind of guilty, sitting next to her with my scheme planted in my mind, just waiting to be hatched. But I had no choice. The timing had to be just right.

I was generally in a reflective mood, and the ever-perceptive Evie picked up on it. As lunch period ended, she sidled up to me.

"Are you okay? You seem lost in space today."

"I'm fine, Ev. Just a little preoccupied with things, that's all."

And you'll find out about those things later, I thought. But before she could head off, I stopped her.

"I need a ride home today, but I have to take care of something right after school's over. It shouldn't take more than fifteen or twenty minutes. Can you wait around for me?"

"Sure," she replied. "I'll just go to the library and get started with my homework. Take all the time you need."

"Thanks, Ev. You're the best." She offered up a big smile, and scurried off to class.

I found myself atypically watching the clock during Mr. Hawkins' history class. I couldn't wait for the final bell to sound. The moment it rang, I said goodbye to Patti, told Evie I'd see her in a little bit, and then fled from the room. My destination: Diana's locker. I knew where her final class of the day was located, and I knew I'd arrive at her locker first if I didn't dawdle. Sure enough, I got there ahead of her by a minute or so.

As soon as she appeared, I told her, "Let's go to the cafeteria. I want to talk."

I could sense that she knew something was up, but she accompanied me wordlessly, and sat down opposite me. Her eyes met mine; her expression was blank, as she waited for me to speak.

"I won't take up too much of your time, Diana," I began, in a serious, businesslike tone. "I want to end our relationship, effective right now. I told you before that I didn't see us lasting much past graduation, anyhow. I just think it's time. You and I have run the course. It seems like most of the time, nowadays, all we do is fight. So, I want to call it quits. For good."

I expected her to go batshit. But, surprisingly, she didn't.

"Are you sure that this is what you want?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm also doing you the favor of telling you now, well before the prom, so that you have time to find another date."

I believed that was a subject that needed to be addressed. But in doing so, I'd tipped my hand. And she was all over it.

"You want to take someone else, don't you?"

I wasn't backing down.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

"Who?"

I reflected for a second before answering. I decided that there was no point in hiding it from her. She'd find out in short order anyway.

"I'm planning to ask Evie."

She actually laughed. And it wasn't a humorous laugh. It was a mocking one, laden with ridicule. She was laughing at me.

"You want to go to the prom with a ni–" she started, then caught herself just in time.

Instantly, I was seething, furious, almost out of control.

"Go ahead, Diana," I dared her, with fire in my eyes. "Say it. Say what you were going to say."

"You want to go to the prom with a black girl?" she spat out, not exactly what she'd meant to say the first time.

That did it. If I hadn't already decided to cross Diana out of my life, forever, it sealed the deal.

"Yes, I plan to ask Evie. And you know why? Because I want to. She's someone I'll be proud to have by my side. And she doesn't play stupid mind games designed to control some dumb stiff who's too horny to know better. Go find someone else to put up with your shit. I did it for way too long. Good luck, and goodbye. Have a nice fucking life."

And with that, I stood up and coolly strode away, leaving her sitting alone by herself.

Cold? Yes. Rude? Perhaps. But she deserved it. She'd been sitting with our little group at lunch time for most of the past year. She'd pretended to be Evie's friend, had made small talk with her on a number of occasions, and yet at the same time, harbored hidden racist feelings toward her. I simply couldn't tolerate that.

I headed for the library, and quickly corralled Evie, apologizing for being in a hurry. Again, timing was everything here. I didn't want a furious Diana chasing after me and ruining the moment. Minutes later, we were safely in Evie's car, leaving the school property. Now came part two of my plan; I wasn't sure what Evie's response would be. If part two failed, part one would have been in vain, although I still thought it was for the best.

I waited until we arrived at my house, and she had parked her car in the driveway, until I addressed the topic.

"Guess what?" I said in a casual tone. "I just broke up with Diana. For good."

"Oh, really?" Her tone was exceedingly skeptical; she raised an eyebrow.

"Really." I told her what had just happened, leaving out Diana's display of racism, which I didn't want to get into right now. But I certainly would tell Evie about it later.

"Wow. Sounds like you meant business," she smiled. "You almost have me convinced."

"Hopefully you'll be fully convinced," I continued, "when I tell you what else I have in mind."

That got her attention. Her eyes bored into mine; a serious, expectant look spread across her face. I regarded her for just a moment. Her hair was really beginning to grow out. She was almost fully transformed into the Evie that I'd met for the first time in the other life, at the start of freshman year at Rutgers.