My wife had these friends who scheduled girls' weekends when the various sports had their play-offs and stuff. I didn't really follow any of that astroturf stuff, but I always encouraged Anna to go along and blow off some steam. Have some innocent fun. They'd travel to a famous old spa, or the gambling boat.

I didn't mind the odd empty weekend to just kick around the house alone. After all, when Anna returned, it was always with the full understanding that I'd drag her into the bedroom and utterly molest her.

The only thing that changed was that my sister moved back into town. She'd finally gotten sick of Seattle's retarded seasons. It was good to have Jade back around, but it was a little weird how quickly she and Anna bonded into best buds.

I mean, over the years I'd figured out my sister was the kind of girl who liked girls--I didn't care about stuff like that. I certainly didn't worry that my lesbian sister was moving in on my wife--nothing like that. It was just that within weeks, Jade had joined the circle of gals at both the casino and the spa.

Probably I was just a little jealous that after such a long physical distance, I was reacquiring my sister as a friend at a much slower pace.

I was just emerging dressed after a shower, a long shower after an afternoon wasted mowing the motherfucking lawn. I heard voices down the hall from the livingroom. Moth-like, I fluttered towards that light. I heard my sister's voice, though I couldn't make out what she was saying.

My wife answered, "That sounds so lovely and relaxing, but I have so much work to pound out this weekend."

I entered the room and Anna began detailing how Jade had won a long weekend cabin up at Lake Romp in a raffle at work. It was a last-minute prize.

"Maybe you should go?" Anna suggested. "What do you have planned for this weekend?"

"Not mowing the lawn," I shrugged. I knew where she was going. "And probably not ruining my sister's prize by making her bunk with her stupid brother."

Jade spilled a little laugh. "You're not stupid." And then she detailed how it would actually be a lot of fun getting to spend a long weekend reconnecting with her stupid brother.

Anna looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "How can you dare to deny that? You should take your pastels, and make me lots of beautiful snapshots."

Of course I couldn't. Nor did I want to. The idea of lazing around nature and just doing some cool drawings was quite appealing. Anna was eager to help me pack, days in advance, chattering on about how much fun Jade and I would have. She made sure I packed not only my box of chalks, but also different pads of different paper.

It was almost like being set up on a blind date. One in which I was set with the task, like a court artist, of documenting the hours. The honors and the horrors and the hors d'oeurves.

Or rather, it was like being set up, but not on a blind date. It was like my sister Anna was setting me up for a date with her best friend Jade, who I would not deny was quite hot. Which seemed weird on my wife's part, since Jade was just my sister, but I was game for a long weekend spent sleeping in and lazing about, spending my afternoons drawing views of Lake Romp before heading up to the lodge for dinner.

I'd hang out with my sister and pump her for info about how much Anna really spent when the gals went to the casino!

I was imagining an after-lunch departure, but when Friday dawned, Anna let me sleep a few more hours before waking me up with her mouth. She had me up, showered, dressed and fed by ten. And practically sitting out on the stoop waiting for my ride, like a little kid.

There was no waiting. Jade pulled into the drive on the hour, to the motherfucking minute. I carried my stuff out to the car. My sister got out of the car, ignoring me on her way up the walk to my wife. They hugged like the secret sisterhood they'd sort of started developing.

Anna and her gal friends had their nights out, their Girls Weekends. Us husbands and boyfriends were quite gracious about it. They'd go up to the historic spa, or the cheaper and closer gambling boat. Jade had become one of the girls before the last time at each place.

Us guys were supposed to like go out among the trees and grasses and marshes, and shoot ducks as a clan, or sit around in our caves watching football. Sure, you could just go out and chase some fresh loincloth, but that always proved such a bother.

I prided myself on my patheticness. When my Anna was away, I'd get an extra six-pack, and live off a delivered pizza. I'd have my fun. But mostly by myself. Maybe I'd go have a few with the usual loser crew at the tavern around the corner. Pretend to look at the ladies, but mostly wind up staring at the stupid sports on the stupid tube. Because, as I may have noted, I prided myself on my pathetic ways.

Which I wound up talking about on the long drive. The subject came up out of nowhere, considering how I'd obviously been thinking about it. I didn't want to talk about it, but I had to keep the banter going. That was Jade's instruction. The player in her car was broken, and where we were driving, the radio thinned out to a bunch of broken hillbillies whimpering about Jesus.

"Brother-sister confidence invoked, how many times have you cheated on Anna?" Something else come up out of nowhere.

My sister was staring at me, when her eyes should've been on the road.

"Not once," I said softly, "not even close."

"Really?"

"Really. I'm not that kind of guy."

We finally managed the conversation over to the crap of current events. Just as things were lulling, we hit a station that was playing this scratchy old raw righteous shit. They sang about Jesus, but it was about going downtown with Jesus and getting in a knife fight with this Judas dude over some whore named Mary. Recorded in Nowheresville in like 1934 by some forgotten black dude named like John Romp. It was an awesome way to spend the hour until we arrived at Lake Romp (no relation).

Jade parked us in the no-parking loop in front of the lodge. We went in and registered for our cabin, my sister obnoxiously flapping her paperwork for the free stay.

I strolled away, inspecting the stately building. There were big fucking log beams everywhere. Stripped of bark and holding up the distant roof. I found the way to the diningroom. The state parks were notorious for hiring culinary school graduates. Even the goddamn steam table buffets were appetizing.

But we'd arrived between meals and I was just looking around anyway. Jade found me and we got back in the car for the short drive to our cabin.

I did the lion's share of carrying our bags from the car to the cabin, even though my own stuff took just the one trip. But I didn't have any bags from the grocery, so of course I was happy to be the pack mule from the car. When I finished, Jade was putting things away in the kitchen, so I took a quick tour of the rooms myself.

Jade kept darting her eyes at me, attempting to engage me in conversation. She'd done some real estate in her time, and it was like she was anxious to be the one to show me around.

Too bad. I found the bathroom--it was decent. There was a large back porch, roofed and screened, with a fantastic view of the lake. The livingroom had a working fireplace. The cabin was worn, well-worn, lovingly worn by the years. It was, in short, quite nice.

But I still had to come into the kitchen with my complaint. "There's only one bedroom. There's only the one bed."

"But it's a queen," she answered quickly, expecting my observation. "There's plenty of room."

"I can always take the couch. It won't be the first couch I've slept on."

"Or we could take the cushions off the couch and use them as barriers down the middle of the bed. It all depends on how retarded you want to be," she quipped. "Sorry I won such a cheap second-rate prize."

I dropped it, because I didn't want to get into how retarded I could be. But then I slapped my own face and laughed. "Yea, I should probably go up to the gift shop and buy myself like a t-shirt or coffee mug that says World's Biggest Ingrate."

I put my bags in the bedroom, and then we went on a little nature walk, a pleasant hour on a path going up and down the rises emptying into the lake. We chatted a little, remarking on the pretty nature we passed through.

Jade stayed always slightly ahead of me. I was fine with letting her lead. The one thing I hadn't anticipated was how stirred I'd be by the sight of my sister's swaying ass.

Of course, I'd always known that I had a really cute sister. Even back when she was just a girl. And then she got all her splendid curves. I was always in objective agreement, as her big brother, that my little sister was way hot. So watch what you say, or I'll punch you in the mouth!

But I'd never tailed my sister's tail on a mile loop, while she was looking way cute in a short pair of khaki shorts with all those extra pockets. The fabric stretched across her fanny.

I ... I was just trying to take this lovely nature walk, but instead I turned into a pervert. I was so glad when we were back inside the cabin, brewing a pot of late afternoon coffee. We wound up with our mugs on the front porch, and I actually started working on a little drawing of the view before me, between sips.

Jade refilled our mugs and then sat back down beside me. Mostly she gazed out at our view, though sometimes she glanced down at how my fingers were recording what she saw.

I finished it up, and it was nice, but it was nicer to be done and just sitting there with my sister. We were finishing our mugs, talking about how gorgeous everything was all around us. The birds would twitter a lovely symphony for awhile, and then shut up and take a break, giving us the silence of trees.

Almost abruptly, Jade stood up. "I'm going to go shower off our hike sweat, and then start getting dressed for dinner, up at the lodge."

I was actually ready for a nap. Indeed, I did go in and recline on the sofa. But then Jade was done with her shower and apparently I was next. So I too could then dress nicely for dinner at the lodge.

Our regal upcoming feast was a shared joke from childhood--dinner up at the lodge. I got up and into the bathroom, dropping my clothes in the steaminess of the small room. The thick air held the scents of fake flowers, the stuff of soaps and lotions and shampoos. But mostly it smelled of this woman, my sister. It was like her feminine essence, dispensed by an atomizer. It was this shit you couldn't resist called pheromones.

I scrubbed off, feeling poorly about myself, and completely ignoring my erection. The poor guy bobbed and throbbed and strained for some attention, any sort of friction.

Dressing for dinner for me meant changing into the shorts I hadn't worn on the hike. Sure, clean t-shirt and the rest, but in the pants department I was only packing the pair.

Jade was back in the bathroom for awhile, and then she kicked me out of the bedroom and took forever. Changing into your other pair of shorts doesn't take that long. Luckily the kitchen sported a small microwave. I heated up the stagnant cup of coffee left in the pot. Got it too hot and had to wait with little blows and sips to drink it seriously--even so, I'd drained the mug before Jade reappeared.

"Don't you look regal," my sister was suddenly in the kitchen and declaring. She was, of course, being ironic. I appraised my look, and shrugged. I looked dressed in my vacation wear. I was dressed like I was kicking around my own damn house.

"Sorry I forgot to pack my slinky kicky floral-patterned sundress," I laughed. Jade's was all lavender with buttery accents. The weave of the cloth was so thin I could see my sister had skipped a bra, but was wearing stylishly cut panties of a closely matching color.

And this stunning sexpot of an apparition was beckoning me on towards dinner, up at the lodge. And so we set off, on foot, the odd couple in search of the steam tables. We walked because it was really pretty close if you took the walkway, instead of driving the twining road. Nothing better to counter a feast at the lodge then a nice stroll home.

But I wasn't about to let her off the hook. "You look especially lovely tonight."

"Why, thank you," she purred in exaggeration.

"So, once we mingle up at the lodge, if you need me to go take a stroll after dinner, stay away from the cabin for an hour or so, well, you should just get me a roll of quarters and I'll kill the time in the game room."

There was such a room for the guests, a sad little room with ping-pong and pool tables, the pair, in disrepair, along with a couple broke-back arcade video-games--so hungry for coins!

My sister not only did not reply--she quit talking. Pointedly. Pointed enough to prick her stupid boorish brother. "I was just tickling, I didn't mean anything mean."

"Then why do I feel so stupid for having tried to look nice?"

"Because your brother is a total jerk. You look fantastic; he looks like a tourist. Jade, I totally apologize. I am so honored to escort you to the lodge for dinner. I am not worthy of being your napkin."

"That's more like it."

The funny thing was that from the moment we entered the premises, every guy we passed glared at me in disbelief. Their women seemed to offer me up an unconscious challenge, as if they could ever possibly be better for me. Like, maybe, after their man stole my woman, maybe we could settle for one another. But I was just a guy trying to get a table with his sister.

Jade knew what was going on, perking with the attention. Just the way she moved that dress, she was the hottest gal in a hundred miles. It was an odd introduction to dinner. I watched how my sister's movement down the buffet line held the whole room in thrall. She was that thrilling. I beheld the tableau from our table, having cornered a waitress, skipping the buffet to ask for a club sandwich with fries.

Coming back with her salad, she shared her croutons and crackers with me so I didn't get cranky as I waited for my ordered meal. And then we were dining together, sitting across and sharing a small table, eating and chatting. While all the guys around us got bummed out every time she smiled back at whatever I'd said.

I was well distracted. Christ, she was my sister. But the way her breasts swayed against the fabric when she jiggled with laughter at what I'd just said. We shared an excellent dinner, even if it was the worst meal of my life. I was the worst brother in the world, the way I was looking at my sister.

The walk home was torture. Jade wanted to be slung up beside me, arms around one another, brother and sister strolling back to their cabin after a sumptuous meal up at the lodge. But just the smell of her was getting me unnaturally excited. Again. I didn't want to push her away, because it wasn't her fault. I steeled my resolve. Hoping to de-steel my other resolve.

I thought about nature, because it was all around. Up above, the night sky held more stars than I'd seen in years. There were all these trees, tree shadows, so I started thinking about trees, thrusting up into the open sky. That line of thought didn't help.

I finally got things in perspective: I was just walking back from dinner with my sister. All over the planet, guys were walking back from dinner with their sisters without it being a big deal.

But that was because their sisters weren't nearly as cute as mine. I shoved all that way back on the backest of the back burners. I'd get through the weekend, and then take it out on Anna when I got back to our bed.

Which thought--confound it!--got me stirring again! But by then we were safely back at the cabin. We lounged around for awhile watching the cable, until Jade barked it off. She apologized, and handed me the remote. It was barely after ten but she was ready to start steering herself towards bed. I was included in implication. She wanted to get up early and enjoy every hour of her little vacation. But she didn't want to drink coffee alone.

I understood the subtle command. While she locked herself in the bathroom, I went in the bedroom, got some stuff out of my bags, stole a pillow off the bed, and found a folded blanket up in the closet.

I was settled in my nest on the couch, reading my book, when she finally came out of the bathroom. Jade went in the bedroom first, but just for a few minutes. She came back out into the livingroom, looking sort of surprised at what she saw. My sister was dressed in her jams, silky smoky-pink boy shorts and buttoned top.

"Seriously, it is a very big bed."

"I'm fine here in my little cocoon," I smiled back. I really did not need to be sleeping next to that.

She turned abruptly. "Suit yourself," she called back stiffly.

I'd obviously insulted her, when I'd just meant to protect her. I was a terrible brother.

She shut the bedroom door but it bounced off its latch and she didn't correct it.

I thought about getting up to apologize, but I didn't know why or for what I'd be saying sorry. I squirmed around for a few minutes, but got tired of feeling like a jerk. I returned to my book, where I could read about someone else being a jerk. The book was quite engaging, and time passed before I decided to get up and brush my teeth and stuff.

By then, the bedroom was dark and completely quiet. It wasn't completely quiet. Having doused the bathroom light and stepped back into the hall, I could hear the soft snore of my sister slipping deeply into sleep.

I read for another twenty minutes and then turned off the final lamp. It took an hour of tossing on that lumpy old sofa before I fell asleep.

Almost immediately, the room was morning bright and Jade was loud in the kitchen, making the vast smells of eggs and bacon and potatoes and biscuits. Not to mention the coffee.

I groaned like I was a hundred years old. I felt like I'd slept on a bed of tree roots and rooted rocks, planted stones and fallen tree nuts.

I rose like the dead, in boxers, leaving the coffin of my couch and tottering into the kitchen.

"So there you are!" she called brightly. When she saw me clearly, she exclaimed, "Grandpa Jerry? Where'd you come from?"

I was named after our grandfather, a hunched and hobbled old man before he passed when we were tiny.

I flipped her the bird. "You called it. That sofa is a very demanding lover. I think I've been infected with scoliosis."

Even after a sumptuous breakfast, I was still pissing and moaning about my back. Silently, of course, though quite visibly, as I repeatedly twisted my neck and shrugged my shoulders.

Jade wanted to take this hour-long trail, take it slow, get back for a light lunch, or we could pack a larger lunch to take along, as she had us a canoe rented for the afternoon. She was not about to let me spoil her plans.

"Come here," she marched me into the livingroom. She left me standing there stupidly in the middle of the room. She fetched this low foot stool and placed it in front of the sofa. She climbed onto the sofa, seated behind the stool, which she patted as the place for me to sit.

I did as bid. "Shirt off for a massage," Jade declared and I complied. Her thighs enveloped mine, so what choice did I have? When her fingers first started trailing across my flesh, I started having bad brother thoughts. But then my sister went all business. She knew how to give a mean massage, and there was nothing personal about it. Her fingers willed my muscles into compliancy, and then we were good to go!

It was a splendid hike, and we did get back late. We hurried together to pack a picnic, then got in the car and sped down to the dock. We looked a little silly, all puffing and panting at the desk. They were so hard up for business they tried to talk us into paying for a discounted upgrade to a pontoon boat.

I liked the idea of wearing a captain's hat and piloting an actual boat, but Jade had her heart set on a canoe. I was surprised to learn that her heart had me sitting up front in the pussy seat with the long paddle, while she sat in the back to power and steer with the short one.

I remembered that, though she could get all lipsticky for the lodge, my sister was at heart an outdoorsy lesbian. While I, her big brother, had been in a canoe once in his life. When I was eight. I'd sat in the middle without a paddle. I just got splashed while worrying about all the drowning water underneath me.

Given a second chance, I was determined to do better. I got in the shaky sliver of the boat first, grabbing and stowing the cooler with our lunch. I settled down as she rudely shoved us off from shore.

I knew enough how to wield a front paddle. Back and forth. The physical process took more than a few strokes to master. Mostly I splashed myself at first. But then I found the rhythm, enough that even my master sister applauded my efforts.

We got pretty far out on Lake Romp, and it was a pretty sight. Looking back and seeing my pretty sister manning the backseat. Behind her all that blue backing against that bit of green before the blue above. I started getting a little nervous, what with the vastness of the water beneath us, but also because we were getting out to where if the motorboat didn't kill you, the dude on the string riding behind on a pair of water spears surely would. And I said as such.

I pulled my paddle out of the water and stowed it, and carefully turned around in my seat so that I was facing Jade. She allowed us to float closer to shore. "We should've brought our swimsuits," she replied.

"I wouldn't have brought mine. In fact, I didn't bring mine. I left it home."

"We could always go skinny dipping," she chirped.

"I have no bathing suit because I have no intention of getting out of this boat, not until I can see the sand. Maybe if I had one of those old time diving suits, with the big fucking brass helmet."

"Are you a prude?" my sister started laughing, "you and your fucking brass helmet!"

"No. It's just with all this water and prop blades like sharks, I want to stay in one piece inside this piece of aluminum foil."

"I'd really like to just drop overboard for a bit and swim around in all of it. Being naked like that is actually very appealing."

"That's fine by me if that's what you want to do," I declared, "but I'm thinking about how when you decide to crawl back into the canoe, suited or not, you'll probably wind up just tumping the canoe and send me to a watery grave, so when you do try to climb back into the canoe, be prepared for me to be bashing you away with my big stick."

Jade laughed at me, and kept us paddling along without my efforts, with just her short stick.

We wound up on this very tiny island. It was shaped like the canoe, and maybe twenty times the square footage. The tippy top of some hill before the creek was dammed and the lake was made. Above the sandy shore was a rise of grass and a few small but stalwart trees.

It was a perfect place to hold a picnic lunch, and I kept saying so to my sister. It was so cute: after each time I said so, Jade would blush. We were soon done with lunch and just hanging together, hanging out, a brother and sister on the tiniest island.

Everything was really great until this huge speed boat made this insane U-turn so close to the island it was a miracle he didn't beach. Instead it sped off, adding to the tsunami that swept our isle.

"God!" Jade exclaimed, "do you suddenly have a soaking wet bottom, too?"

It was true. It was like I'd peed my diaper. My shorts were stained from the sweep of muddy sand, looking like I'd made a greater mess straight in my pants. I wanted to go home and change myself.

All we had were the clothes on our backs. Even our picnic trash washed out to sea. We got back in the goddamn canoe and paddled the fuck our way home. We talked about stripping out of our wet shorts down to just our wet undies, but that seemed like a waste of effort. By the time we hit shore, we were laughing about it.

Back in the cabin, Jade got first shower. I lazed around and waited, and kept on waiting while listening to the water run. It seemed to never stop, until it did. When my sister was safely in her room and changing, I checked. I was nearly overwhelmed by the steamy leftover essence of her, but I stayed conscious enough to test the tap. I delayed my shower because there wasn't any hot water left.

I went in the kitchen and got the coffee maker going. I made it a remarkably long procedure. I was glad I hadn't done the task back when I was simply waiting for her shower to end. Not waiting for the shower to recover from her abuse. Finally there was very hot water coming out of the kitchen tap. The tank had recovered nicely.

In the shower, the water was so freshly hot I too basically just stood there and let the water run cold. I spent my time in the bedroom, dressing from my bags.

I found Jade in the kitchen, nursing her mug of coffee at the table, all hunched and slunk over and twitching. I laughed and got my coffee, "When did you die and start to decompose?"

"I know! I've been crippled by a canoe. I thought I was in good shape. I thought the hot water would sort out the rest."

I thought we were still being all joking. My sister looked ridiculous, like an act.

"Doubt I'll be dressing up for dinner at the lodge tonight," she added feebly.

I was starting to worry about her when she sort of snapped, "I did you this morning. Do I have to beg?"

Dense Guy had a moment of clarity. I accosted Jade's elbow and guided her up from the table. I steered her down the hall and laid her down on the bed. Her shirt was in the way, so since she was tits-down it was okay for her to shuck it up over her head. I'd already guessed she wasn't wearing a bra.

I moved up and straddled my sister's ass. I bent my fingers down to her bared back. I could feel the skin jump away, before warmly settling, sidling back up against my touch. "Tell me where," I almost whispered.

Guided by her answers, I worked that canoe right out of her back. I made my sister melt. My hands wound up on her lower back, so I climbed off to her side for a better angle. And to keep my secret from pressing against her.

The way her bottom swiveled as I finished her lower back had me thinking of all the big muscles down there. Much as I wanted to, I wasn't going to start massaging my sister's ass. I preferred to keep this blossoming perversion to myself.

My hands were ready to start the upward backwards recap ending, when I heard an odd noise. Like a wild animal was nearby. Then there was nothing, until I heard it again. The sounds sorted themselves out and settled into my sister's soft snores.

Jade was well relaxed. I thought about tickling her, or starting giving her a deep rub, something to wake her. Instead, she looked so serene that I decided to join her. She was on her belly, so I stayed on my back. I felt silly since I wasn't really sleepy--and then I dropped 20 minutes into the pit of Morpheus.

I woke up utterly refreshed, and on my side. Facing my sister. Jade too had shifted, onto her side, facing me. A lank forearm slightly hid the view: my sister had drop-dead tits. If only her eyes had fluttered open and she'd smiled at me. But she was sound asleep.

I didn't dawdle, detained by no view. I got off the bed still in my clothes. Even that didn't stir my sister. I pulled the sheet up to make her modest.

Next stop was the kitchen, where I nuked a mug of coffee. I went out on the front porch with my colors. I did a cool drawing, reheated another mug and finished another drawing. I was at that tail end when Jade dragged out on the porch.

She was still so sleepy-looking, yet absolutely beaming. "For dinner, I want pizza," she announced. "Thanks to your magic fingers for keeping me alive."

Of course there was nothing but the dumb chain that existed to deliver everywhere on the fucking planet. I did notice that the lodge did note that it would make pizzas for pick-up only. It wasn't on the sit-down menu. They were expensive and I joked about how, in their defense, they were the ones to drive to the grocery and buy the frozen pie, and then bake it.

I drove up to the lodge to fetch our order. Back in the cabin, I ate humble pie, having completely underestimated the power of their pizza. The stuff was good, damn good, even for frozen crust. Things got even better when Jade displayed a surprise bottle of wine. I was sad when we sucked it down so fast, but then she revealed her spare. I got up on my feet and did a little dance when she returned to the room with the second bottle.

The brakes of a full day began applying. We were barely into the second bottle when Jade clicked on the t.v. We caught the last twenty minutes of a geeky B horror film we'd seen together many years ago. But then even that was over.