Chapter 19

"Are we going to talk?" I asked Sarah as I came up to the table in the library where she was studying with her friends. Zoe had been needling me every time she saw me to make some sort of peace with Sarah as she was fed up with the poison my troubled friend had been leaking all day. She said that the longer our feud had gone on, the more upset I felt and the more angry Sarah got. I didn't want to fight with her, and what seemed like I was making a point at first soon descended into despair when I saw what our pigheadedness had actually achieved.

"No," Sarah replied abruptly and returned to her book. "You keep saying that you like me and go out of your way to upset me." Zoe shrugged her shoulders at me and put her hand on Sarah's.

"Maybe, you do need to speak," Zoe suggested and Sarah snapped her book shut with a bang. "It's gone on for long enough."

"So you are on his side, now?" Sarah asked aggressively and Zoe recoiled. "He knew where I would be 'cause of football practice and waits in a doorway so I can see him snogging ... her."

Zoe looked vexed; she had already told me in no uncertain terms what she thought of Abi's "lesson" and sighed. "No, I just want..."

"What he wants," Sarah suggested angrily. "He's always said she is special to him, so let him have her. They are made for each other."

I cleared my throat. "She is but..."

"Oh fuck off," Sarah shouted disturbing the quiet calm of the library, causing a dozen heads to turn towards us. She picked up her book and her bag and stared at me shaking her head. "You knew what you were doing."

"What the fuck is her problem?" I muttered and Zoe shot Ingrid a tortured look.

"You," her Swedish friend replied tersely. "You've really upset her."

"Don't I fucking know it."

"And you know she is now off her football team for good," Zoe added. "It kicked off again with Lisa last night so they've banned her completely. And then she saw you and Abi, and then she went home and a had a big row with Kev. So she's been so upset today 'cause of what you did."

"Well Abi doesn't want to go out with me and I don't want to go out with her, I want Sarah if she'll have me." Ingrid scowled at me, telling me that I had a funny way of showing it and I packed up my things before catching up with Sarah, striding across the College green.

"What do you want?"

My intentions withered under her aggression and I took a deep breath. "I just want us to go back to the way we were," I confessed. Sarah sneered and I looked into her eyes. "I mean it."

"You've made it really obvious," she hissed. "That you want Abi. And Abi wants you."

"I don't," I told her, almost running to keep up with her. "And she doesn't want me. Look Sarah, I don't want to fight with you," I begged and Sarah turned to face me.

"Then don't," she screeched. "But I don't want to talk to you." I sighed and watched as Sarah stormed off. Zoe appeared behind me and shrugged. "She says she doesn't want to go out with me but resents me for spending time with people who do. Well, who may do. I can't win."

Zoe gulped. "You've confused her. She isn't going to walk away from her long-term deal with Kevin. It's been ages and there is a love there, but..." Zoe looked at me. "You don't understand."

"No, I don't understand how her mind works."

"If Sarah wanted to go out with you, would you?"

"In an instant," I told her and Zoe smiled.

"What about before Paula left? What about if Paula was still here, would you then?" My face changed and Zoe looked at me. "It's the same situation. She likes you and she trusts you more than just about anyone else, but all she's seen is you getting annoyed and childish and then doing your best to show off." I went to protest and she put her finger over my mouth. "Not the sort of person you want to break up a long-term relationship for, eh?"

I sighed. "But it's not like that."

"And if she did want to split up with Kevin, she isn't going to do that over the 'phone, she's got more class than that."

I gulped. "Split up? You mean she might?"

Zoe groaned. "I don't know." Her body relaxed and she wiped the corner of her mouth. "She is upset, and she thinks you are taunting her. What were you thinking of ... snogging Abi just 'round the corner from her football? Of course she was going to see you, and you knew it."

I pursed my lips. "Abi was teaching me..."

"I don't want to know."

"To date. She thinks the only reason Sarah and me aren't going out is 'cause I'm useless."

"Well you are that," Zoe told me. "Both you and Kev have been utter bastards to her, and at the moment you've both made her miserable."

"Don't I fuckin' know it," I muttered and looked at her. "OK, then Smart-Arse. How do I make amends?"

Zoe took a deep breath. "Well I don't know," she told me. "But first of all you just need to get her talking to you and she doesn't want to do that." She cocked her head and coughed. "Sorry, I just don't know Andy. I keep telling you that you are both impulsive and fiery characters and this is what happens when you act without thinking. I keep trying to tell you to think before you act but no-one will listen to me. And then I get Sarah ringing me up crying and you moaning about it all."

I sighed and shrugged; Zoe suggested we go for a drink and chat but I didn't feel like talking and just ambled home intending to curl up on my bed and think. I certainly didn't plan to go the Supermarket but Mum needed an extra pair of hands when she did the weekly shop and Rhea was at school or out with Simon so I had no choice but to go. I wasn't talkative and Mum kept sending me off to get things but at the end of the penultimate aisle I nearly ran into Zoe and her mother with the shopping trolley.

"Hello," she cried in a surprised voice. "Do you know where the jam is?" Zoe asked as Mum appeared. "They've moved it." I pointed to an aisle three rows back and Mum, clearly sensing an opportunity, sent me to the front of store to get a cucumber, which she had "forgotten" to pick up. I groaned and scooted off to find one.

I returned to find Zoe and Mum alone and still talking; I expected little else to be honest but they stopped as I approached. "He's so insensitive. And she is so pigheaded," I heard Zoe mutter and Mum glanced over at me. She gave a "ssshh" and it didn't take a detective to work out what they were talking about.

"Do you mind?" I asked and Zoe looked apologetically at me. "It is private."

Mum looked at what I had in my hand and tutted. "Half a cucumber, not a whole one," she grumbled and I was dispatched to the other end of the store alone to replace it, giving Mum and Zoe ample opportunity to complete their conversation; I walked slowly, just enough to hear the first sentence from my friend. "They just need to talk 'cause if they were both honest with each other they'd be..."

Why did Zoe think she needed to talk to Mum? It was Sarah with the problem.

"It's a fucking disgrace," my sister moaned as she burst into the lounge and Simon just groaned. "Fuckin' not 'aving it. He can fuck right off if he fucking thinks he can fuckin' say that. What the fuck is his fucking problem?"

Simon groaned. "Haven't you calmed down yet?"

"Fuck no. He can fuck the fuck off if he fuckin' thinks..."

"Problem?" I asked and Rhea, still scowling threw herself down on the sofa.

"Can you fuckin' believe it?" She ranted. "Mr Russell, the fucking prick, fucking reckons that I need to expand my fucking vocabulary. What the fuck is his fucking problem?"

I laughed and even Simon smiled but Rhea huffed. "Can't think why."

"Said that my language needed expanding. I'll fucking give him narrow use of the English fucking language. I wonder if he knows that knife can be a verb as well as a noun. Or slash, as in tyres. Or..."

"Expelled. As in Rhea," I teased and chuckled. "What exactly has he asked you to do?"

"A short story as homework," Rhea moaned in a haughty voice. "Using words I have not used before."

"Like calm, forgiveness, respect, peace?"

Rhea frowned. "He just said that Rhea's stories used the same words month in and month out and thought she could benefit from stepping outside her comfort zone," Simon clarified and I nodded.

"Perfectly reasonable."

"Perfectly reasonable?" Rhea thundered. "I'll fuckin' give him reasonable."

"Just..."

Rhea sighed. "He picks on me. He fucking hates me. I got better grasp of the English language than any of the tarts in my class but he has a go at me 'cause I dain't sit on the front row and flash me knickers at the perv." She rubbed her mouth and shook her head. "I'm not 'aving it."

I licked my lips. "I'll leave you with this one," I told Simon. "This is your problem."

"His problem?" Rhea shouted. "Oi," she cried as I left the room. "Oi, come the fuck back. What the bloody hell am I supposed to do?"

"Fornicate yonder, Rhea," I told her with a smile which was worryingly reproduced.

It was an unseasonally warm Friday, and I was idling back towards the flat; I had some work to do and then the team meeting. I found that my mind kept wandering and instead of doing my physics work I kept thinking of Sarah. Eventually I got bored and wandered downstairs via the fire escape with a book in hand. I wanted to get out of my room.

I helped Mum move the tables. "I hear you and Sarah aren't on speaking terms."

"No," I finally admitted.

"That's a shame," Mum said and then glanced over studying my body language.

"Yeah, it is, isn't it."

She pursed her lips. "You can talk about it," she offered but I shook my head; there was only person I could talk to, to sort it out and that was Sarah.

The team meeting was as raucous as usual with Isobel tickling me as she came in which caused me to reach over and pull her onto me and pin her over my lap. "Spank her," a voice cried and I pulled down her trousers to do so.

"When you've quite finished," Mum barked and I flashed her a look and hit Isobel once on her bare bottom that caused her to give a giggly shriek.

"Yep, OK done," I told Mum with a smirk. "Carry on." She sneered and Isobel reacquainted her waist with her blue cotton trousers as she got up. I got a disapproving glance from my mother but she didn't chastise me and just continued with the meeting. A couple of the girls had left that week – one who I didn't really know but also Gemma. I made a mental note to go and stop by her flat when I had a moment but wondered if she had left the club then had she moved out of Aylesbury; there wasn't a lot of employment in the local area for people in the adult industry, unless she had got her teaching job she so desperately craved.

Scarlet walked with me towards the bank again along with Isobel and Heather. I did ponder if the cashiers ever wondered why there was a considerable influx of young, attractive women every Friday afternoon coming to pay in large deposits but they never asked any questions if they ever did.

Scarlet was quiet and she sighed when I asked what was wrong. "Eddie's being a pain," she told me. "I've been offered a small part in a film but it means going abroad to film for a week or two."

"Oh, that's ... well done."

She looked at me and licked her lips. "It's a nude part. He doesn't want me to go away and he doesn't want me to be prancing around naked."

"Oh," I muttered and smiled at her. "I wouldn't mind, dating a film star and all that."

She laughed as we waited to cross the road. "I am sure the thinks that I am going to find someone else, but I won't. So he's pissed off with me 'cause I've said yes."

"Oh well. He'll get over it," I found myself saying and Scarlet took a deep breath.

"Yeah, hope so. I don't want to fight with him but he is making it so hard for me." She shrugged and bit her lip. "There's a big gap in age, experience and all sorts, but he is great. I just wish he could be more relaxed and trusting. I mean, he spends all day with his farm girls and I don't get jealous."

I laughed and she flashed me a smile. "I don't think he is going to run off with them though, do you?"

"No," Scarlet admitted and giggled. "But he likes them, I know he does. And he wants me to be one, but I don't want to."

"Perhaps one day, as a surprise you should dress up as a farm girl, help him and take him behind the bales." Scarlet giggled.

"I don't want to encourage him." We parted outside the bank and I wandered back to the flat to get some dinner, before going out to see Olivia.

Olivia was clearly a little under the weather when she opened the door. "Andy," she croakily greeted me. "You better come in."

I closed the door behind me and followed her into her lounge where Emily sat watching television. "Hiya," she said with a warm smile. "I've been looking at your pictures."

"Oh," I said. "Any good?" Emily nodded, still grinning. "Who's the girl from the hotel?"

"Holly? You know her Mum right?"

"Yeah," Olivia told the young lady but gave her a stern look that ended any further questions.

"They were amazing. I loved them," Emily added as Olivia sat down and passed me an envelope.

"Kara and Steve, how were they?"

I spluttered as I sat down on the faded chair and blushed. "Weird," was all I could come out with and she snorted.

"Yeah, sorry, should have warned you," she croaked. "I didn't realise it would be like it was." I pocketed the envelope; it contained money but I did not know exactly how much. "They reckon they could use some more but I..."

My face twisted. "It was a bit weird. But I guess I could stand it but..."

Olivia put her hand on mine. "Listen kid, you don't want to, you don't do it. It's fine." She coughed and reach into a drawer and passed me a set of pictures. "I was asked to give you those."

I opened them tentatively and saw the smiling face of Holly; I bit my lip as I quickly leafed through them; she was exceedingly hot. "Oh thanks." Olivia smiled at me and promised me more work after the half-term break that was approaching and I thanked her.

It seemed weird to be so rich; there was £120 in the envelope and I still had most of the cash from the swinger's party in my bedside drawer.

All I needed was a girlfriend to spend it with.

For weeks I had been trying to tempt Zoe to see her uncle. She told me that he had been in contact around her birthday and had provided her with an open-ended invitation to go down to London and see him whenever she wanted.

I tried to get her to open up about him, but she just said that her family had always said he did "immoral stuff" and she didn't want to have anything to do with him. I snorted at this, and eventually blackmailed her, by saying I would ask her out on a date if she didn't. This seemed to do the trick as she eventually agreed to go and see him with me. I was finding my weekends a little lonely at times, especially without Ray, and wanted something to do that Saturday; meeting an immoral relative of Zoe seemed ideal!

I had to get up really early to clean the club from Friday night. There were a lot of spilt drinks and ominous stains and it took me a little longer than usual, so I was a little late getting to Zoe's house. She had rung him to arrange to meet him at his house at midday and had a rough map that she had copied from a London A-Z.

Zoe was holding a couple of envelopes and I glanced at them. "Mum says I can take his birthday and Christmas cards when I go," she muttered and ran towards the kitchen to go to the toilet when I caught the sight of familiar face peering over the banister.

"Hello Rhea," I said gleefully and saw that she was wearing a dressing gown. She shusshed me and I chortled as I walked up the stairs to see her.

"Is the coast clear?" Rhea whispered and a naked Simon came up behind her.

"How much?" I asked mischievously and she scowled.

"I won't hit you all day," she promised, and I smiled.

"No, I want no teasing or goading all week in the Lakes," I negotiated and she huffed.

"First day," she promised. "And that is all." I shrugged and she held up her fist. "OK, can I go?"

"Yes, Andrew and Emma are out, and I'm just about to go with Zoe."

Rhea breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Simon. "I think we probably have another hour or two if we want it."

I chuckled and saw Zoe coming back into the hallway and I walked back down the stairs, deciding that telling Zoe that her brother was naked with my sister would probably delay us further.

I hadn't made any lunch and neither had Zoe so we were resolved to having to buy or scrounge something to eat but I doubted this would be too much of a problem. As we passed a bakers however, I quickly bought us a pasty each, just to stop our stomachs from rumbling too loudly!

She was a little quiet on the train and eventually told me as we walked around the corner to her uncle's house exactly why he was a pariah."Well he is a pornographer. He was arrested in the US for breaking obscenity laws, has half-a-dozen love children, forever in sinful relationships and now owns a company producing porn."

"Ahh, sounds just like your family," I teased and she glared at me.

"I've not met him for a few years. Mum had a big row with him the last time we were down and she has refused to talk to him since. It's a bit of a testy subject," she admitted. "I mean, she talks to her other brother but almost pretends Neil doesn't exist." She wiped her eye with the heel of her hand and forced a smile. "He is a nice guy, just preoccupied with sex. A bit like you really."

"Or you," I teased and Zoe snorted. "When you read steamy romance novels."

"No. Well maybe that's where I get it from," she mournfully added and I resisted the urge to giggle.

I took a glance at the map and we turned into a little cul-de-sac. The road was lined with big, impressive houses, some of them garishly adorned with statues or flamboyantly-shaped hedges.

We walked to the end and onto a small drive in the corner. The property didn't look any bigger or smaller than the neighbouring houses, but instead of BMWs or Porsches in the drive, there was a shiny red Ferrari.

Zoe sighed when she saw it and glanced up at the door before knocking on it. I could tell she was nervous; I knew that her parents were not overly impressed that she wanted to go and see Neil but reasoned that he was family, no matter how much her mother wanted him not be and didn't object too much. There was some shuffling and noise behind the door and a tall, slightly balding man opened it. I could see Zoe in him immediately, the soft smile and welcoming eyes that she had, were present in him.

"Zoe," he called and held out his arms to her. He was wearing a soft dressing gown and she embraced him, nervously smiling. "You look so well," he cooed and glanced over at me.

I held my hand out and introduced myself before we were beckoned in. His hallway had a few small statues, and was very much decorated to look like a Roman villa with naked nymphs lining the room. His kitchen was smart, far more tastefully decorated and was big. He went behind his breakfast bar and leant across. "Drink?"

Zoe nodded silently and then spoke as he clapped his hands. "Orange, Cranberry, Pineapple, Tropical Juice, or wine, or do you fancy a beer, we got all the spirits if you fancy a cocktail."

Zoe froze and bit her lip, humming. "I'd love an Orange Juice," I said and he smiled, opening his fridge, which was easily bigger than our fridge and freezer combined and took out a large bottle which he opened and poured into a glass, passing it over. Zoe opted for the same and he then took us outside to his garden.

His garden consisted of a few flowerbeds, a pool, patio and a hot-tub, but that was not what drew my eye. Sitting in the hot-tub reading a book was a girl, easily pretty enough to be a model. She looked up when she saw us and put her novel down, next to an empty cocktail glass and called over.

"We were in the hot tub with cocktails," he told us smiling. "Nice way to spend the morning when the weather is a bit cool." He took off his dressing gown and climbed in, the brightly-coloured shorts with naked women on it raising a smile from me.

"We didn't bring swimming costumes," Zoe said quickly and his partner giggled.

"No, neither did I the first time I came," she said. "We often go in naked. Jump in."

I laughed and looked at Zoe. "Remember that pool in Cholesbury," I teased and she took a deep breath.

"Yeah, but it's..."

"Oh come on," I encouraged her and took off my T-Shirt and jeans. She stared at me, shaking her head and I gave her a look out of the corner of my eye. She watched as she took a seat next to the hot tub, while I lost my underwear and leapt in to the bubbling water.

"You wouldn't think she is getting shy, especially after she played strip poker with six people?" I teased and Zoe took a sharp intake of breath.

"No, it wasn't like that," Zoe said quickly and then glanced over at me and relented after a short moan. Her uncle turned away as she got undressed and while she wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea, the warm water was very nice in the cool October air and the bubbling liquid covered up to her neck.

Neil's partner was "Emmie" and was at University although she was originally from Devon and had met Neil while he was doing a photo shoot in Exeter when he stayed at the same hotel she worked at.

They seemed to have hit it off quite nicely and she had travelled to London regularly to meet him before starting her course in September. While her parents disapproved of her relationship with the much older man, she spent most of her time at his house and was actually very intelligent. I had almost expected the vacuous stereotypical gold-digger when I first saw the age gap but this was unfair.

We conversed about many things and she was warm and friendly. Zoe spoke very little until my hands started massaging her thighs and she gave me a wry smile. I knew what she was thinking and I let my hands wander in the bubbles.

She didn't move her hand over to my body to reciprocate and I took that as the touching was something she was uncomfortable with and withdrew. I was only teasing her and when I stopped she giggled, looked at me and came closer.

Her uncle made a few teasing comments, I think he assumed that Zoe and I were going out, which we weren't and we corrected him. Emmie noticed Zoe's necklace and crowed over it, scooting across the small hot tub to get a better look and then Zoe had to admit it was a birthday present.

"From a boyfriend?" Emmie said slyly and looked at me. "Or just an admirer?"

Zoe blushed and I answered for her. "It was a close friend who does admire her, but not in a romantic way." Neil and Emmie gave me knowing looks and Zoe went bright red.

"I said it was too much," she blurted out and I looked over at her uncle.

"It was her seventeenth birthday present."

"Yeah, and the dresses and the underwear."

Neil went a little sheepish and Emmie glanced over at him. "He forgot mine."

"I had a stroppy model. Banging on about not doing anal on a film called 'Ass Stretchers' but still wanting to get paid. And then I had LA on the line and all the days blurred together. I am making it up to her though."

"We are off to the Maldives at Christmas," she said with a gleam in her eye. "I can't wait."

Zoe went to reply and I squeezed her thigh. "See, I could have bought you a holiday," I whispered and she giggled.

We spent another hour in the hot tub. I liked Neil, he was care-free and good natured but had a streetwise aura about him. He had a couple of scars on his arms and I could easily have seen him in a few scrapes over the years. He brought us all cocktails and we sat drinking the (very) alcoholic drinks he had provided while Emmie gently gleaned titbits of information about us from Zoe and myself.

Neil was happy to watch and certainly doted over his girlfriend, rubbing her tummy or stroking her hair and she leant into him. Zoe was far more stoic with me, even after the cocktail and by 2:30pm we were all hungry and thought about getting something to eat.

Neil said he knew of a lovely little bistro down the road and he got out to retrieve four big beach towels, adorned with his company logo. He saw me smiling at the pictures from the films he had produced and laughed. "Yeah I love to wipe myself dry with those against me skin," he joked as I pushed a models big breasts into my crotch. I blushed a bit and he just chortled. "We got loads for a promotional event a while back. I'll let you take a couple back if you like."

"Does your Mum do big towels with her dancers on them?" Zoe asked and I then had to explain exactly what sort of entertainment the nightclub I lived on top of provided to its clientele.

Neil was interested; he wanted to do a film in an adult nightclub in the New Year and desperately wanted to find a business that would lend their premises to him for the shoot. I promised to ask Mum and he said he would pay handsomely if it was suitable. "Most of it won't be in the club, but some of the scenes need stage and the like. Only need it for one or two days I reckon."

We got dressed and walked down his cul-de-sac and he cut through down a footpath and before long we were at a small restaurant. Emmie took Zoe's hand as we walked, she was keen to know more about her and they chatted like old friends.

When I first saw her I wondered about Emmie's intentions. She was with a man, who was at least 20, maybe 25 years her senior, who worked in the adult industry, and I could only see her latching onto him for his money, but as we spent more time with her I could see past that.

She was genuinely interested in us, and certainly got on well with Zoe. She told us that she wasn't in any of his films while we were in the hot tub but I noticed a guilty look and wondered if she had assisted in another capacity. She also said that she had refused to let him pay for her student costs and that this had caused a row between them, but was keen to accept nothing more than his company and hospitality. Despite the age gap and financial disparity there was certainly love and it warmed my heart. If Neil could ensnare a beautiful and lovely girl like Emmie, then maybe I could repair relations with Sarah.

The bistro welcomed Neil warmly and I guessed he wasn't an infrequent visitor. We were shown to a table near the back of the restaurant that was a little secluded and the waitress gave us all menus as we sat down.

I glanced at the prices and my eyes widened in shock. Starters were more than ten pounds, the main courses started at twenty-five and the drinks were all at six pounds or more. While I earned good money it was very expensive and Neil looked over at us.

"It's my treat," he said firmly and looked at Zoe. "I mean it. I know how stubborn you can be. You get it from your mother."

Zoe sighed and she looked back at the menu. "Don't worry 'bout the cost," Emmie told us. "He won't let you pay a penny."

I ordered the Venison steak with a fruity sauce and vegetables. I had only had venison once, and liked it, but as the mains were pretty much all the same price I reasoned it didn't matter too much what I picked.

As it happens, Neil also picked the venison while Emmie had her favourite vegetable dish and Zoe selected the duck. Neil also ordered a bottle of champagne and then looked over at us. "It's not every day your niece comes to visit," he reasoned and Emmie rubbed his hand.

"He's been proper excited all week," she said with a glint in her eye. "I've had Zoe this and Zoe that. If I didn't know better I would have thought he'd found another woman!"

"Well. I've not seen you or Simon or John for four years. Or Jay for even longer than that. Emma and Paul don't talk to me, so it's good that at least one person in my family wants to still know me."

Zoe blushed and bit her lip. "You're my uncle," she said firmly. "But you don't make it easy for us. I mean, you grew up in a vicarage and end up producing hardcore and vicious ... stuff."

Neil chortled. "I know. But I've always wanted to do it,"

"Why?" Zoe asked. "No one else in the family did!"

Neil gave a chuckle. "Ahh yes, well, ever since I read the Venus in Furs. I found it when I volunteered to a do a church bring and buy sale and it was left over. It's a lot for a ten year old to take in."

Zoe smiled at her uncle who leant towards Emmie, put his head on her shoulder and they kissed briefly. The waitress returned with the champagne and poured Neil a glass, and when he was happy that it was fine, filled everyone's flutes up to the brim.

Zoe tensed when it was full up and I giggled at her looking at the glass. "It won't bite, unless you are worried what you will do when you get drunk."

Zoe mouthed silently at me to be quiet and Emmie raised an eyebrow. I wasn't going to say anything, but liked teasing Zoe nevertheless. The meal was absolutely superb, to be expected from food at those prices, and the vegetables were tossed in a light mint dressing which made them heavenly.