Chapter 3

The front door slammed.

SHIT! Danny!!

We both jumped up from where we were. Dad wiped his face with his shirt sleeve and hands and walked over to the bookshelves and started scanning them lamely. I desperately tugged at my clothes to make sure they were well adjusted I was staring at the blue screen of the TV when Danny walked in.

"What's up guys?" He seemed rather peppy. Not buzzed however. That's a shame.

"We were just watching a movie and talking," I blurted out. Easy, Amanda, Geez! You're an actress. Come on, all you have to do is act like yourself!

"Ah" he said. He looked over at dad, who was still messing with his face. Dad turned toward us in the room and smiled lightly. It was a good start.

"What did you watch?" Danny said, moving toward the TV to riffle through the DVDs sitting there.

I stared again at the blue screen as though it would give me the answer. "Um, 'A Good Life, ' and then 'Wedding Crashers.'" My gaze drew down to the hardwood floor where the blue screen was lightly reflecting. There was a shiny spot that looked wet. Wait, is that??!

I quickly grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. The sheen diminished considerably. Danny turned back and looked at me oddly. "It was bothering my eyes," I said with some conviction.

"Huh," he grunted, turning back to the DVDs. "'Wedding Crashers' is hilarious, huh?"

"Ya," I said, "I liked it a lot."

"Did you like it, Dad?" he turned toward him. Come on dad...

He paused, and I wasn't sure he was going to be able to play it off, but finally spouted out, "Some parts were inappropriate." He looks too uncomfortable. I stepped over and stood on where I had seen the wet patch.

Danny thought for a second.

"Oh, you mean with the..." he walked over and flopped himself on the sofa on his back and sighed a very feminine sigh to mimic the scene with the girls falling on the beds. I stiffened when I saw my brother lying on the scene of the crime. He couldn't be there. I knew that there had to be more evidence like that which was under my feet in that area. I had to get him away from the couch, but I didn't know what to do.

"Oh, thanks for the reenactment, sweetheart," Dad piped in, suddenly the man I had always known again. "Did you leave the porch light on again? I swear if you leave that light on overnight again you can pay the damn PG&E bill."

Danny hopped up, knowing that he had left it on. He tried to play it cool and temper down dad's slight display of anger.

"Easy there, tiger," he patted him on the tummy as he stepped by. "You're getting all worked up. Maybe it was all those girlies swooning on the screen."

Danny ran over to turn out the light. Dad glanced down at me, and I held back a smile. I was happy that he had his composure back and so deftly removed my brother from the couch, but I couldn't help but be amused by the irony of Danny's comment either. I quickly wiped my feet on the place I was standing, reached down, and turned over one of the couch cushions in a feeble attempt to hide the truth before he got back.

Danny jaunted back in. "Wud you think of that crazy kinky sister?" he asked dad as he approached smiling. I was mortified, feeling my face flush, the condemning thoughts racing upon me again.

"Wha ... What do you mean?" my words stumbled out with a trace of my fear.

He looked at me funny, and then Dad. "The sister," he repeated, "in the movie..."

My breath caught as I understood his comment, still seriously taken aback.

Shit! I know nothing about "the sister" or much of anything else that happened in the movie after a certain point. I don't even know when it even ended during the time that...

"What did you think?" he repeated to dad. And he didn't know either. Come on, dad. He was pausing for what seemed way too long. Just say something. Just say "I dunno" or something...

"Well, she thought it was normal!" he said with some bravado, pointing at me.

Oh my God! How could he do that!! Urg! I started trying to think to gear up to defend myself, but Danny just started laughing.

"You would, too," he said, continuing to laugh.

I tried to play along. "Well, she was okay, right?" I asked. Maybe I should have left well enough alone.

"Huh," he grunted, "I guess by the end. She was still pretty kinky though. I thought she was HOT! That line where she's like, 'I'm not wearing any panties.'" He danced in place femininely as he said it, and then looked right at me and winked.

I knew my cheeks flushed again. I was at about maximum improvisational capacity with all that was running through my head, and I couldn't think to banter with him.

"Leave your sister alone," Dad shot back. Teaser, Defender. Roles as old as I could remember.

Suddenly Danny stiffened up. "It smells funny in here." I knew my eyes widened. I was just trying to hold as still as I could, my heart suddenly a jackhammer inside my chest.

"Did you guys have... ?"

Oh God, here it comes. Oh please no, oh please no.

He sniffed the air again, and his eyes got bigger.

"Did you guys have cake or sumthin??"

Oh Sweet Mary Gypsy Momma, What in the hell just happened?!?! Oh gosh breathe ... slow ... here we go ... You're okay! You're O- K...

Dad just laughed and shook his head. Maybe a little too hard, "That's right, my boy! Whenever you go out we bring out the good stuff! A little cake, maybe some champagne ... shoot, whenever you move out we're REALLY gonna live it up! Ha-ha!" He patted Danny on the shoulders and sighed, recovering from his own humor.