Chapter 13

“Hey, you ... you can’t go in there! Certainly not nude like that ... this is the County Courthouse!” a uniformed guard warned us as we laughed.

“Look around you, buddy. Things that can’t happen are happening all over the globe. The old ways are finished. The old laws and rules are out the window, chucked like so much bathwater. Now, unless you wish to die, I’d recommend getting the ever-loving fuck out of my way,” I now warned the guard, who didn’t listen, but tried in vain to grab me.

Instantly, his skin burst into flames, of course, much to his horror as he turned into a walking fireball, rushing out to the door into incoming traffic to stop his agony. It worked. He was dead within seconds, run over by a pickup truck, which itself then exploded and killed its driver. It was sad and unfortunate, but it was the chain reaction that tended to follow when a burning person collided with an internal combustion engine.

I wasn’t kidding about things happening everywhere that by all rights shouldn’t. In several cities, riots had broken out, rent riots in LA and Manhattan, the latter coming perilously close to Wall Street itself. Bread riots occurred in various cities as well, as the price of wheat jumped due to drought. Solar flares had caused multiple instances of EMP, electromagnetic pulse, that disrupted the power grid in large population centers as well as small towns and rural areas. Several thousand people had spontaneously combusted worldwide, though plenty were also roasted alive by me and the news couldn’t tell the incidents apart, so reported them all as flukes.

News reports of growing numbers of sterile men didn’t help, either, with a trend toward absolute sterility in one in ten cases now quite apparent. Twice as many as the entirely infertile were low-motility guys, victims of very “slow seed” or “slow sperm,” and of course, the total counts of sperm dropped substantially across the board. There were also reports of testosterone levels dropping exponentially, leading to erectile dysfunction in many cases as well.

More guards now rushed at us while I mused about the global crises apparently triggered by the advent of me, the Leviathan. The Mayhem seemed to be inextricably linked to the downfall of the Christ and the rise of me. Somehow, this created a chaotic void or vacuum in the fabric of the Cosmos, and so I had to clean up my own mess. Things were already spinning out of control as it was, but those crises were a mix of nature and man, paling next to the level at which all of society’s ills were exacerbated now.

A blast of fiery breath from my mouth consumed those guards and I led my company further up the steps to the justice of the peace. I had a mission to complete, among other things, that would cement my control over the county administration, if nothing else. I walked into the office of one of the JPs and the secretary turned as pale as a ghost. It wasn’t every day that a crew of naked men and women barged into her boss’s office, after all.

“So, you need to schedule ... and ... you can’t go out in public ... nude. It’s ... illegal, sir,” the secretary told me, making me chuckle along with my posse.

“Watch me!” I smiled at her as I moved past into the chambers of the justice of the peace.

This caused the secretary to stand up and try to block us, but in vain. The elderly justice of the peace arose with a start upon seeing us, at which point I directed him to take a seat and his secretary to sit on his lap. She squirmed, particularly when he grew noticeably aroused by her presence next to his groin.

“Look, I don’t know or care what your normal laws and rules of conduct are or whatever. Those don’t matter at the moment. I’m running this show now. I want you to marry me to these women and men ... all of them. And all of them to each other as well. It’s a plural marriage on steroids, my friend. Then you’re going to marry your secretary here and I’m going to fuck her in front of you, while you fuck one of my wives or husbands of your choice.

“Monogamy is on its way out, though I’ll have to move in stages to eradicate it, and this is phase one. Adultery, polygamy, several acts at once to ensure the decline and eradication of the defunct monogamous model of marriage, that is the name of the game here, don’t you see? I see that you have a wife, two daughters, and four granddaughters, don’t you? Don’t you worry, my friend. In time, you’ll get to fuck them all, just as you should.

“Now, perform the ceremonies, alright, and then have the marriage licenses issued posthaste, for each and all of the marriages. Then we’ll get you married to your secretary while you’re still legally wed to your first wife, thus making you a polygamist, too. Is she married as well? Well, she’ll have two husbands now, but not to worry for them ... everyone will get plenty of ass on the side. In the future, that is. The very near future,” I instructed the judge even as I caressed his secretary’s breasts in front of him, while she still sat on his lap.

The justice of the peace arose and then I pushed his secretary down to his crotch, telling her, “Unzip his pants and start sucking his dick while he marries us. I want him horny as hell while he does my bidding, babe. Same with you. You need to be highly aroused. Wet as fuck.”

“Do you?” the justice of the peace started to ask my name.

“Leviathan will do. That is my new and true name, you see. As well as my title. In case you missed it, I’m God now. Yes, that’s right. I AM GOD! Call me ‘Leviathan,’ my son,” I told the rather aged jurist, despite being so much younger.

“Do you ... Leviathan, take these ... people to be your lawfully wedded husbands and wives, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love, cherish, and protect, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, until death do you part?” the judge awkwardly improvised the wedding vows.

“I do,” I grinned savagely as I magically caused wedding bands to appear, which I placed on each lady and gent in my company.

Yes, my divine powers were only growing, getting stronger now.