Chapter 3

Bethany didn't see her cousin Julia Johnson all that often, but she idolized her. The fact she was six years older set the stage, but Julia was also a sort of golden girl. She was in anyone's eyes beautiful, and she was also friendly, funny, and kind to her little cousin.

When the families got together at Bethany's for Christmas (they lived in Scarsdale), Julia at the dinner table told of the recent developments in her life. She was in her second year of a Ph.D. program at M.I.T. in physics. In recent years Bethany had learned that Julia was very smart, something she hadn't perceived so well before due to the age difference. At Yale her interests had taken a scientific bent, and she had set her sights on theoretical physics.

Yet as smart people advance in their education, the winnowing process finds them with smarter and smarter peers. At M.I.T. she was doing OK in her courses, but to take the next step she needed some creative insights, and they had been slow in coming. She was starting to rethink her career options.

For her part, Julia was as surprised as everyone else to hear of the newly intellectual Bethany.

As Bethany lay in bed that night, she thought of her distress at not having original ideas. A silly idea came to her. What if she gave Julia some of Cyrus's magic potion?

Bethany suggested the next day that they head off to the movies, just the two of them. Julia was enthusiastic, and in the car they each confided that they were eager for a break from their families.

"Julia, I want to tell you about something, but I'm afraid you'll laugh at me."

"Why would I laugh at you?"

"You'll think I'm into kooky pseudo-science. No better than horoscopes or telepathy."

"Oh?"

"But it's not an accident that I'm suddenly a good student. You've got to admit that's a real surprise, right? Given who I was before?"

"I'm not sure; I always thought you had it in you," the older girl said, but without much conviction.

"Yeah, but I didn't care before, right? I just wanted to be popular."

"Well, yeah, that seemed to be more where your interests were."

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course."

"Would you be surprised to hear I'm not a virgin?"

Julia laughed. "I wouldn't have been surprised to hear you were doing it back in 8th grade."

Bethany wasn't quite sure what to think of that. She wasn't that much of a slut! But she let it pass. Julia didn't know about the norms in Bethany's school; one thing she'd learned from Mr. Sacks was that there were other ways of looking at the world; what she thought was the way things always were was often just one way things could be.

"The secret is more to do with who I'm doing it with."

"Oh?"

"A teacher."

"Hmmmm." After a brief pause, she said, "Like, as an ongoing thing?"

"Yeah."

"Do you feel good about it?"

"Yes!"

"Is he married?"

"No."

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely. We meet at his place all the time."

"OK, I guess that's good evidence. So, he's inspired you to want to be a good student."

"Well, yes, but not the way you think. Or at least not originally."

Julia waited for her to continue.

"I have this high school buddy who's a real, total nerd. You won't believe this, but he figured out that men actually encode their mental state in their semen, like in the prostate gland."

"Oh!" Julia smiled.

"Yeah, I know it sounds crazy. But what's more, he found a drug that lets the cervix decode it!"

Julia laughed out loud. "That sounds like a great pick-up line for a nerd!"

"I know, I know, that's what I thought at first. He offered to help me with my chemistry. But it actually works."

"Did you sleep with him and then knew more chemistry?"

"No, I didn't sleep with him, but I found out he'd done it with someone else and she got way better at it."

"You ever hear of the placebo effect?"

"Yeah, I have. I know -- I told you it's going to sound crazy. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. But it's not just some general improvement in the ability to learn. You can get specific facts about the guy's life. I took some before I lost my virginity. Boy was that a mistake."

"Taking the potion, or losing your virginity?"

"Both! Especially losing it to him, the creep. But given he was a creep, I'm glad I took the potion." She hesitated as ugly memories churned within.

Julia looked over at her, waiting for her to continue.

"I found out what he really thought of me."

"Uh oh. I wonder if that's something I'd like always want to know."

"I thought that was very useful. I knew where I stood. Then when I started doing it with my teacher, I found out that he's a decent guy, and that's well worth knowing."

"So after you do it, you get their memories?"

"Yes."

"I don't know, Bethany, this is really hard to swallow."

"Look, I knew you'd think I was nuts. But I was listening to what you said about grad school yesterday, and how hard it was. What would it be like if you could actually know what your professors know?"

Julia's smile vanished. "Oh, if I knew what Dr. Wilson knew, I'd be in great shape. And you're saying I could learn it by sleeping with him?" She glanced over at Bethany skeptically.

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. I know you don't believe me, but there's a way to test this. Experimental validation."

"I don't think I want to try to seduce my professor to perform an experiment."

"Sure, but ... is there anyone else you're sleeping with? I mean, it's none of my business, but you could try it with him."

Julia smiled. "To know what Carl is thinking? That would be interesting, that's for sure."

Bethany hadn't heard anything about Carl, but she knew the older girl had had a series of boyfriends.

"Listen, I'll get some. You can try it. You have nothing to lose."

"How do you know it's safe?"

"I suppose I don't in the long term. But I know I've been drinking a lot of it, and nothing bad's happened to me."

Julia changed the subject, and Bethany knew she just didn't believe her. All she'd accomplished was to make Julia think she was a flake.

But the next morning, as Julia was about to head back to Boston, Bethany collared her and dragged her into her bedroom.

"Here it is," she said, producing a little vial. "Just watch." She shook it and poured half into another empty vial, which she drained in one gulp. Then she handed the half-full original container to Julia.

"See, nothing bad's happening to me. Try it some time with your boyfriend. You take it within three hours, and then when his semen hits your cervix, pay attention to your thoughts."

"Bethany..."

"You've got nothing to lose, right? If nothing happens, you can think I'm a nut."

"Well, OK," she said with a sigh. "I'm a scientist. And you've given me a falsifiable theory and a way to test it."

"Right!"

Julia put the vial in a dresser drawer, intending to keep it as a quirky gift from her well-meaning little cousin.

But she found her thoughts moving in unaccustomed directions. However crazy it was, Bethany's potion weighed on her. It was sort of like reading a fortune cookie; you didn't really believe it was your fortune, but it was sometimes interesting anyway.

She found herself thinking about it the next time Carl was over. What did he really think of her? Carl was in his second year at the Sloan business school earning his MBA. She'd been in plenty of relationships and knew the limitations. You shared secrets to a certain point, but she knew how much intimacy to expect from any given man.

Sex was happening. She gave herself a lovely orgasm as she rode him, then let him flip her onto her back so he could have the freedom to fuck her just the way he wanted. It was the arrangement they had settled on, and it worked. She felt Carl's excitement building, and she smiled up at him, caressing his back. She always tried to pay attention during sex, but sometimes things get into a pattern and you take things for granted. This time she concentrated. She felt his cock swell within her just before he moaned his ecstasy. Of course his semen was spurting up inside her. She'd never felt the stuff actually spurting out with any guy, so she'd stopped thinking about it. She naturally focused on the parts of him she could see and feel. But now she imagined what it would be like to know his thoughts. Bethany's fortune cookie said it would be at that very moment she would know.

As they got up the next morning, she asked if he'd go with her to the art museum for a special exhibit. He turned her down without trying very hard to come up with an excuse. Then he didn't call her for a week.

When he did, they got together again, and on the surface things were just the same as always. But she was troubled. She reminded herself you couldn't expect a guy to want to do everything you did. And one of you would want to spend more time together than the other; that's the way it always worked.

As she got ready to join Carl in bed, she felt a yearning. With a shrug and a smile, she got out Bethany's vial. She turned her back so Carl wouldn't see and drained it. It had no taste, just like she'd said. Julia wondered if it was just water.

She was having fun and it felt good as she rode her boyfriend, but because of her anxiety about the relationship and the thought of Bethany's potion, orgasm always seemed just out of reach. She finally faked it, and hoped she'd done a decent acting job. She'd never faked it with Carl before, though she had some practice from earlier lovers.

He eagerly flipped her over and began his earnest, goal-directed mating. She tried to act relaxed the way she would if she'd just come, though she was still feeling excited and hungry for release. Just having a guy doing it to her was primally satisfying, and it was more intense when she hadn't just come herself. She looked at him, wondering what made him tick -- what would she learn if there was a potion that did what Bethany claimed? He adjusted slightly to get a deeper penetration and began his final approach. Somehow the angle he picked was just right, and her pleasure built rapidly as each thrust stimulated her perfectly. She gasped as orgasm seized her as he rammed in and out of her with his final thrusts. His huge gasp meant it was almost simultaneous, which made her smile. And then --