Chapter 10: October - "The Light of the Sun"

For all of the human heart's shortcomings, there is a great deal to be said for the sphere of emotion. Reason, insight, and intellect are admirable, even outstanding in their ability to teach us to overcome our obstacles, but on their own, they lack depth and complexity ... a soul to give them context. Physics and engineering give us a glimpse into the inner workings of the universe, but curiosity and inspiration take us to the stars and beyond. A composition might be technically precise, so finely crafted as to be a masterwork recognized the world over, but only with an emotional investment, a piece of its creator and its audience, does it move us to tears. Logic tells us that oppression is wrong, but courage lends us the strength to do something about it.

Emotion can bring out the worst in us, but also the best.

Jennifer Reed, soon to be Jennifer Halvers, was the embodiment of heart and soul to Jahn. Here was a woman who had grown up ruled by a passionate desire to right any perceived wrongs against herself or her sister. Practically a tomboy, but for all her small stature, she'd scrapped like a demon, and had probably been in more fights as a child than he had over the course of his entire life. Adulthood hadn't changed her much – she could flare up like a sunburst, but when the fire at last died down, she was sweetness and light, the soul of apology, giving back love far more easily than angry words. Despite the slight difference in age, she was Fiona's polar twin, tails to the heads, heart to mind, sun to moon.

These were Jahn's thoughts as he watched her pack her bag for the upcoming camping trip. They'd argued a bit; he'd not seen a need for her to drag so much clothing along for a weekend, she'd insisted that it was no more or less than she'd packed in previous years for the same outing. Eventually, he'd realized it for a pointless argument. If she wanted to haul a bunch of stuff around, it could just be left in the back of the car. He didn't want to fight with her, say things that only end up making him feel like a world-class asshole. Unlike Fiona, who could trade barbs in an argument as well as he could, skewering him with her sharp wit, Jen got hurt feelings. She could be incredibly confident, cool and intelligent, but when her passions got riled up, those virtues were usually the first to go. Fighting over inconsequential crap wasn't worth the heartache or the risk.

"So, who all's coming?" Jahn asked, trying not to laugh at her intense focus on just which bikini to bring. The weather was mild, but it was October, and he didn't see himself taking a polar bear plunge.

"Mostly Vee en Pees, but Greg's invited one of his friends from that law firm he works at. The rest are either my friends or Fiona's: Ashley, Kim and her guy, Marita and Deanna, Julie..." Trailing off, she put a finger to her lips. "That's everyone, I think. Chris and ... Andrea might show up for the barbecue on Friday, but they're not staying for the weekend." Her voice showed relief at that reprieve. Whatever peace he'd found with his ex certainly did not extend to Andrea and Jen. Brightening, she turned her attention back to her task, discarding the bikini, and digging through her underwear instead.

"Say..." she asked, glancing at him briefly.

"Yeah?" he asked idly.

"Ever thought about a threesome?" Fuck, a grenade! Fire in the hole! He thought, desperately trying to work out an answer. Unbidden, the old perverse fantasy comes to mind...

//We share everything his girlfriends tittered at him at him from the bed. Want to join us?//

"Absolutely not," lying emphatically, not barely able to call it a half-truth.

Suspicion flickered in her blue eyes, and obviously he hadn't covered his flight of fantasy well enough, or she was remembering the first time she'd called him out for the same thing. "Let me rephrase that," the blonde said. "Ever thought about a threesome with me and someone other than Fiona?"

"Answer's still no." Honest truth that time, he wouldn't consider for a second hooking up with one of Jen's friends. They were fun to hang out with, certainly, as full of vibrant energy as Jen herself, and attractive for the most part, but ... Ashley had looked at him like a tasty cut of meat ever since she'd found out about the impending wedding, Kim was kind of a freak, to put it nicely, and Julie seemed to channel that Do the Creep video any time she went looking for a guy at the dance club. Not that he'd consider telling Jen these things; they were her friends, and otherwise good people. Still, that wasn't baggage that he wanted, and more importantly...

"Why not?" Jen asked with curiosity on her face as she turned her full attention to him. "I mean, I've seen your magazines and you know that I'm not opposed to the idea."

"Because, Fiona." He responded, more shortly than he intended. There were a few good reasons he didn't see the need to put voice to but the one that mattered was commitment. Explaining, he said, "Fantasy's fine and all, but I don't think Fiona's anywhere near as liberated on the idea as you or I."

"Well, your birthday's coming up, and I kinda wanted to do something really special and different for your present."

Grinning, he leaned back and said. "You don't have to go to extremes. You know what they say: the way to a man's heart is a steak and a blowjob..."

"You know I can't cook, you dick." She sniffed peevishly at him, folding her arms beneath her breasts, but still in good temper.

"I'm not saying the idea isn't appealing. I'm just saying that you don't have to do things like that to make me happy. There's fun, and then there's us. I'm not going to go around shoving my cock into any girl that comes along, because it's not right."

Mulling that over, she asked with an enigmatic smile, "What if it were just me and another girl, and you get to watch?"

"Uhhhh." Just can't resist lobbing those grenades, can you sweetheart? He Mentally trying to clear the drool that now seemed to be coating the inside of his skull, he stumbled out, "I don't-"

Confident of her checkmate, Jen said, "We can talk about it again later ... there's still a week yet."

Talking, communicating ... communicate - that was the key! Jahn responded casually, "It's still me alone in the room with you and another naked woman ... You really should ask Fiona, not me."

"You don't think I'll do it, do you?" A cat-like grin creased her face, blue eyes glittering at him like sapphires in light. No, he was quite sure that would be the first question she asked Fiona when her sister got home, and he resigned himself to it.

Jen was as good as her threat, and he came down to dinner to find both women sitting at the table, staring at him as he tried to stride into the room nonchalantly, nothing new, nothing amiss. Nothing doing. A pair of blue eyes full of triumph and glee, brown eyes considering and weighing, a strange smirk touching the corner of her mouth...

"So, Jahhhhn." The blonde said, practically purring at him. "Fiona says it's fine by her as long as you follow a no-contact rule. Voy and Ex, you know."

"Uh, really?" he said to Fiona. "You don't have a problem with me being alone in a room with Jen and some naked woman? That's kind of stretching the trust limits, yeah... ?"

Fiona's uncharacteristic smirk deepened. "Oh, I certainly do trust you, but it's not really necessary. "Greg will no doubt ensure that you keep your hands off his girlfriend."

Oh. Shit. Shit- He couldn't seem to think of anything but profanity, and a limited selection at that. The idea of Jen getting down with some girl was a hot fantasy, and Amy wasn't unattractive, and he didn't have issues with Greg anymore, but...

Attention back to Jen, he said accusingly, "Was it your idea, or Amy's?"

Eyes dancing, she said, "Neither, actually. It was Ashley's, but there's no way in hell I'm letting that free throw anywhere near you." Good to know that he wasn't the only one that had noticed the redhead's undue attention to him. "It was just girl-talk, came up when I was discussing your birthday present. Both Kim and Ashley had said they'd done them before, and thought it was a lot of fun ... not even sure how Amy and I got on the subject when the others were gone, but she wanted to do something for Greg too, so it kinda went from there."

"Well, I guess..."

"Just say 'Thanks for the amazing birthday present, Jen' and get over it already." The blonde advised him.

Fiona chimed in with, "Oh puhlease, Jahn. Jen already told me about those magazines you got rid of." "And there's absolutely no chance you'll con me into something like this, adventurous spirit or not," the brunette added in warning, as if he'd been behind the whole thing.

Jahn had only seen Amy a few times since they'd first met, the woman preferring to keep to a more relaxed girls-only, no-boyfriends allowed environment when out and about, but what he saw when she and Greg joined the group that weekend was someone who seemed to have gone through an amazing personal transformation. Positively dripping with good vibes and cheer, it was like she'd become something Greg had remembered her as – the life of the party. Those light green eyes of hers sparkled with brilliance and energy, and when she wasn't hanging all over her boyfriend with adoration in her eyes, she and Jen practically fed off each other, amping each other up to new heights of spastic hyperactivity and joyful abandon, a weird feedback loop on a pair of super-charged batteries.

While an occasional comment might briefly subdue her, provoking a haunted expression, she'd simply cast it off. She was in love and loving life. She deserves it, Jahn thought. Hope Greg is capable of living up to what she needs him to be. That was uncomfortably close to home, echoing his own concerns about the future yet to come, and he derailed the train of thought to welcome them to the party.

The man was a lot friendlier than Jahn had ever recalled him being, and it was hard to dislike the guy the way he once had. No point in making the effort to maintain old hostilities. Conversation over beer and brats went on for a long time, drifting from one thing to another, even passing over Andrea without incident. Greg had made his own peace with her long ago when she'd heard about his incident with Edwards at V&P and had given him a call to chat. Guess it's impossible to dislike someone with the guts to stand up for others when your eyes aren't blinkered by old grudges. Wish I hadn't taken so long to see it, Jahn thought.