Chapter 16: Eleven

My sister ... bless her minuscule brain and burgeoning chest ... dyed her hair blond and immediately became a ditz. It was like someone stuck a finger up her snatch and flicked a switch ... because she sure did ... switch, that is. Before the dye job ... oh ... and pierced ears, she did that too. I have a feeling the stud is on one ear and the clutch ... the part that holds the ear stud in place ... is on the other ear.

"I hope she's not allergic to that much gold stuck through her brain..." My good buddy, Ricky interrupted.

As I was saying, before someone ran over me wearing track spikes and messed up my train of thought...

"TRAIN? You idiot ... your train of thought is a leaky old switch engine, coal car and a caboose."

You did it again!

"What?"

Derailed me.

"What does a racing bike gear changer have to do with your sister of the 32 C's, blond hair, pierced brain and shaved pussy?"

AAARRRGGGHH!

"What?"

When did she get 32C's?

"Damned if I know, you brought it up!"

Didn't.

"Did. Read back ... See, Burgeoning Chest. She was already a 32B ... go look up burgeoning. Dictionary is by the TV."

'Burgeoning: present participle of bur·geon.

Verb: Begin to grow or increase rapidly; flourish: "manufacturers are keen to cash in on the burgeoning demand".' (I don't see where manufacturing has anything to do with my sisters tits.) 'Put forth young shoots; bud.' (She was already budding!)

"So there!" Ricky is a smartass.

Lookit ... if you want to tell this story ... get on with it.

"OK, I will."

I wasn't expecting you to agree.

"David's sister, she of the bounteous boobs and shaved pussy..."

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! When did my sister shave her pussy and HOW DO YOU KNOW?

"You are so rude!"

Well? Fess up!

"She showed me. You ok? Your face went from bright red to sheet white at the same time your little dickie became a ... HOLY SHIT! You're 11 ... you gotta show me."

No! You're a guy.

"So? Mine isn't anywhere near that big."

My Dad's isn't anywhere near this big.

"I'll bet that pisses him off." Ricky chuckled.

Yup. It made the new Nurse at the hospital very happy.

"Sheryl?"

Yeah.

"She saw it?"

She sucked it.

"Oh God!"

That's what she said.

"Jesus!"

That too.

"Show me." Ricky demanded.

Go get your sister, I'll show her. She can tell you.

"Gloria? Come here"

Not Gloria. Sylvia.

"Sylvia? Why Sylvia?"

If my older sister showed you hers, your older sister has to see mine. Gloria is eight.

"Sylvia? Could you come down to the basement?"

"Why?"

"David is down here ... he wants to show you ... You ok? That's a long way to fall."

"I'm fine ... it's just a little break ... we can get it fixed later." She turned to me, "drop 'em, buster! Your sister better not be lying ... Holy Shi..."

"Mom! Sylvia fell down the stairs and broke her arm." He hollered up the stairs. "She knocked herself out, too.

"Jesus, David! That's huge!"

Thus do reputations be established throughout the land. From shy Freshmen and wild Seniors, all do make pilgrimage to the Staff of David and are replete ... and not a few become great with child. So endeth the Age of 11.