Chapter 2

Bea looked down at her plate for a moment and took a deep breath before saying, "I'm leaving you, Rob dear."

Robin was thunderstruck. He could only stare at her.

"I've been thinking about it for some time. We aren't living together. We're existing together. That's all."

Robin nodded slowly. She was right.

"The spark went out of our marriage some while ago and since the children left home I've been bored to sobs."

"Why didn't you get a job?"

"I wasn't sure you'd want me to."

"Why on earth not?"

"You're quite old fashioned in some ways."

"But not that old fashioned. Go ahead and get one. I'll help you."

Bea shook her head. "I've got one, starting on Monday."

"Well done. What?"

"Clerk cum typist for a doctors' practice in Maidstone."

"Well done you but that doesn't mean you have to leave."

"No but while I'm going to have something to keep me occupied during the day there would still be the evenings and weekends. Rather like you. Do you look forward to your evenings and weekends with me like you used to?"

Robin hesitantly shook his head. "No but we're past the first flush of marriage and bringing up our children."

"And we haven't developed any further than that. Our minds aren't in tune and we've developed no common interests except for acting and I've rather lost interest in that as I can't learn the lines."

"Perhaps we married too young."

"You could be right but we were in love and had a lot of fun to start with."

Robin nodded. "Yes we did."

"Rob, don't get me wrong. In many ways I still love you but I can't go on living with you. I'm suffocating."

Robin nodded. "I've been thinking about us too for a while and reached much the same conclusion as you but I knew our marriage vows were very important to both of us, particularly you with your very active Christian faith. For that reason I don't believe you're leaving me for somebody else."

Bea shook her head. "No and I'm not asking you for a divorce, Rob. In fact I never will but if you want one go ahead. I won't stand in your way."

"When are you going?"

"This morning."

"Oh!" That was surprising. "Where to?"

"I've found a little flat within walking distance of the office."

"Golly! You must have been thinking about this for some time."

Bea nodded slightly guiltily.

"Can you afford the rent and feed yourself properly?"

She nodded again. "Just about."

Robin reached for her hand. "That's no good, Bea love. Like you said, I love you in many ways too so I'll give you an allowance. How about half my current salary until you find somebody else?"

"Are you sure? That's very generous."

"No. It's fair. I shall sell this house and buy something smaller. I'll give you the balance so that you can afford something rather bigger than the flat you're renting."

"No, Rob. That's very sweet of you but if you find someone else you may want to buy something bigger again and you don't want to have to start a new mortgage in the future."

"OK and thank you. What about furniture and things?"

Bea looked slightly guilty. "I, um, had the removals men in yesterday. I pinched all the furniture in the small spare room. I've also taken four place settings from the daily dinner and tea services and some towels and sheets and things."

"Fine."

"I'd also like to take my dressing-table, the armchair from our bedroom and the two occasional tables in the drawing room that used to belong to my mother. Oh, I've also pinched the small TV from the big spare room."

"Of course. Surely there must be some other things as well."

Bea smiled a trifle sadly. "No room. When you sell the house though, Rob, will you put everything you don't want into storage and then if and when either or both of us expand again it'll be there for us."

Robin nodded. He squeezed her hand. "You know, although we agree, I shall miss you; certainly for a while."

"So shall I. That's why I tried to make last night and this morning special."

"You did, Bea my love, and it makes parting more difficult but certainly sweeter."

"You think it's the right thing to do."

"Yes, Bea, and thank you for having the guts to do it."

"Can I come and visit you?"

"Of course you can, certainly while I'm still here."

"And stay overnight?"

"If it's anything like last night you bet."

She smiled at him and his heart lurched. When she was warm and gentle like this she was the girl he had first loved. He pulled himself together. They had made the right decision and they needed to get on with it.

"Right!" he said decisively but not commandingly. "We ought to be able to get the dressing-table and the two occasional tables in the back of the estate. Then I can come back and collect the armchair."

"I can fit the tables in my car."

"OK, let's see what we can do. Hey! You ought to do a sweep of the pictures and photos too."

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Oh, Rob, you're being so sweet."

"Not really. I just don't want us to part feeling bitter."

Bea almost felt like cancelling the whole business but realised that things would soon get back to the drear life she was escaping.

The dressing-table folded and everything fitted easily into the two cars. Bea went back to look at pictures and photographs. They had plenty of the children and Robin was happy with the ones she chose. The wedding photograph of them both coming down the aisle, Robin upright, smiling and happy; she equally happy but leaning out and down to say something to a child. That made her pause. She longed to take it with her but felt that she might be taking something very special to Rob. After all it was one of their wedding photos that he had wanted to frame.