Autofellating Brother? - Cover

Autofellating Brother?

by scouries

Copyright© 2012 by scouries

Erotica Sex Story: "Auto fellatio, what's that?" four coeds wonder when they click open a link on their computer. "Oh my gawd," Kim gasps when she sees the video. But its Nikki who suggests that Kim's brother Mikey just might be the only boy they know able to do it. Can he?

Caution: This Erotica Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Consensual   Heterosexual   Incest   Brother   Sister   Oral Sex   Size   .

Autofellating Brother?

1- Kim's bedroom: Saturday January 7th 2012

"Ohhh myyyy gawd!" Almost shrieked. Coming from Sarah. I looked over.

"What?" Nikki asked before I could.

"He's sucking his own penis," Sarah said as she pointed at the computer that was sitting on her lap.

"Who is?" Megan asked, unable to keep a giggle from her voice.

"It's huge ... look," Sarah said as she turned the computer towards Megan and Nikki who were both sitting on the other side of my queen sized bed. I still couldn't see anything.

"What is?" I asked as I stretched and tried to peer around Sarah.

"His big cock!"

"Whose big cock?" What the hell is she talking about I wondered as I took another sip from my beer.

"That is so sick," Megan said as she stared at the screen.

"I mean how long do you think it is? Ten inches?" Nikki asked.

"More like twelve," Sarah answered, then started to giggle.

"That's like two of Tim's," my best friend said as she grabbed the computer from Sarah's hands. Tim was Nikki's boyfriend. Her latest anyway.

All four of us who were lounging on my bed that night were freshmen (or fresh women!) at Temple University.

Nikki and I, Philly locals, were still living at home while Sarah and Megan were roommates in Peabody Hall, a dormitory on campus. And definitely not the best one! School still hadn't started, we were due for our first class of the term on the following Monday morning. My parents and little brother had decamped for the weekend – mom and dad were taking Mike on a tour of three upstate colleges – so I'd decided to invite the girls to spend the weekend at my house. Sarah and Megan had gotten back to campus on Friday but none of our boyfriends were due to arrive back until Sunday.

So we'd been alone. A girls weekend! Which was the reason why four nineteen year old college beauties (we are!) found themselves lounging around my bedroom at one in the morning in our pj's. None of us were drunk but we were all feeling pretty darn good. We'd gone clubbing for a while earlier and then had broken out the beer when we'd gotten back to my place.

Music was playing. The TV was on. Four cell phones lay on the bed or floor. Megan had her IPad in her lap. Sarah had been checking out her computer as the conversation had echoed back and forth in my room. Which had brought us to the guy who was sucking his cock. Which I'd finally been allowed to see when Sarah turned her computer towards me.

And yes the screen did show a guy, a teenager, lying on his back with his cock in his mouth. My first thought was that it was impossible and the video was a fake. "They photo-shopped it or something," I said as I watched the guy pumping his penis into his mouth. "It's impossible!"

"He's going to dislocate his back if he keeps that up," Megan opined.

"Talk about a deep throat," Nikki added in a voice that didn't hide the obvious awe she was feeling for the feat she was watching on the screen.

"Look, it's called auto fellatio," Megan announced as she studied whatever she was seeing on her IPad. "Here's what Wikipedia says about it," she added as she started to read aloud: "Few men possess sufficient flexibility and penis length to safely perform the necessary frontbend. However, increased flexibility achieved via gravity-assisted positions, and physical training such as gymnastics, contortion, or yoga may make it possible for some. Biologists Craig Bartle and Alfred Charles Kinsey reported that fewer than 1% of males can successfully orally contact their own penis and that only 2 or 3 men in a thousand could perform a full autofellatio."

"I'm pretty sure your Kyle isn't one of the one percent," Nikki said to me with a laugh. My best friend was making fun of my boyfriend?

"Yeah like Toothpick Tim is," I responded, giving her a shot back.

"And the guy's not even black," Megan said with a sigh.

"Here's another one," Sarah offered as she held up her computer.

"He's a fucking contortionist," Megan screeched as we all watched the guy on the screen. He was bent like a pretzel.

"His cock's not as big as the other guys," Nikki commented as the guy manipulated every inch of his cock into his mouth and down his gagging throat.

"Here's something else," Megan said as she held up her IPad. Then she started to read from some web page: "Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues reported in Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male, that, 'a considerable portion of the population does record attempts at self-fellation, at least in early adolescence'. Sadly, given our species pesky ribcage and hesitant spine, only about one in a thousand are able to achieve the feat.

"I'm going to ask Tim if he's ever tried," Nikki announced.

"Here's something else," Sarah said as she looked up from her computer. "Young guys are more likely to be able to do it because they're way more flexible. It says here that once a guy hits twenty-five or thirty it's almost impossible. Only one in ten thousand can do it. The really big, big boys," she added with a laugh.

"We should all ask our boyfriends if they can do it," Nikki suggested.

"There's no way Sean can do it," Megan answered, referring to her boyfriend.

"Too small?" Nikki teased.

"Too much beer," Megan answered. Sean, at twenty, already had grown a beer belly.

"Zach?" I asked Sarah. He was her boyfriend.

"I don't think so," she answered. "He may have seven inches but he's not very flexible."

"Zach has seven inches?" I asked. I couldn't keep the surprise from my voice.

"Uh huh. How about Kyle? He's pretty athletic."

"Around six," I offered, shaking my head no, surprised that Zach, a nerdy type, and a Drexel student, was bigger than my boyfriend.

"So probably none of our boyfriends can do it," Nikki summarized as Sarah held up her computer. She'd found another video of some guy doing it.

"We've got to find somebody who can do it," Nikki said determinedly. "We must know someone who's got a big cock and who's flexible. Surely Temple's got some auto whatever you called it," she told Sarah. As it turned out none of us did. We'd all had more than one lover; in fact as we went over names it turned out that as a foursome we'd had sixteen total lovers over the years – Nikki five, Sarah and I four each, and Megan three.

But we didn't think that any of them had had the requisite cock length required combined with the flexibility of a contortionist.

"Asian guys are flexible," Megan offered at one point. "Surely one of your guys must have been able to do it," she told Sarah. Sarah was a Chinese-American.

"I've only slept with one Chinese guy and he had a micro cock," Sarah answered, unable to hide her exasperation.

After that we sorta moved on to other things. We watched a few more videos. We talked. We laughed. We drank. Megan passed out just after two. Minutes later, out of the blue, Nikki said the fateful words. "What about Mikey," was all she said.

"Mikey who? And what about him, whoever he is?" Sarah asked.

"Don't you remember Kim's little brother?" Nikki asked. It was about then I started to pay attention.

"Little Mikey? The cute guy? He's like fifteen," Sarah scoffed. Sarah had grown up in our neighborhood. The third member of the Kim/Nikki/Sarah troika that had been inseparable in Junior High. Then her dad had been transferred to Chicago when we were all thirteen and we'd lost her. It was only when she'd come back for her freshman year that we'd been able to reunite. She hadn't seen my brother since he was eleven or twelve.

"Remember what a little scamp he was?" Nikki asked. "Remember when we used to take him to the park and he'd play on the bars? He was like a fucking monkey." We all laughed, even I. My brother had always been doing some crazy contortion or somersault when he'd been young.

"How old is he now?" Sarah asked.

"Eighteen! A high school senior," Nikki said with a gleam in her eye. The Nikster had always been the troublemaker in our group and I suddenly didn't like where she was going.

"Little Mikey's eighteen? No way!" came from Sarah.

"And he's mucho good looking. He's got teenyboppers following him everywhere," she added. "Which means..."

"Which means nothing!" I insisted.

"Which means he must have a big cock," Nikki finished.

"Mikey has a big cock?"

"He does not!"

"That's not what I heard," Nikki said with a leer. Which was bullshit and we both knew it. She didn't know anything about my little brother's cock.

"Have you seen it Kim?" Sarah asked me.

"Of course not! God, what do you think? That I'm sneaking around trying to check out my brother's penis? Besides, I'm sure it's not that big." I'd never thought of my brother's penis before that night. Never. He was my little brother for crying out loud. He was a boy!

"He's flexible too." Which came from Nikki who was ignoring every word I said. "All swimmers are flexible, they have to be. And they all also have to have big penises," she added. I was ready to strangle her!

"They do?" Sarah asked, clearly trying to encourage Nikki even if she didn't believe her.

"Do you think any self respecting, heterosexual, eighteen year old male is going to wander around in one of those little gay Speedo bathing suits if he doesn't have a big package? Nooooooooo way! I read somewhere, Sports Illustrated I think, that swimmers have the largest penises of all the athletes in the Olympic Games. Guys with small dicks always drop out of swimming because they're embarrassed."

I couldn't help but laugh. Nikki had never read a page of Sports Illustrated in her life. But the picture she was painting was funny.

"Really?" Sarah asked.

"And have you ever watched a race? At the start they bend right over and touch their toes. They're as flexible as orangutans. If they didn't have their little Speedos on they could all just stay on the blocks and have a cock sucking contest. Swallowing for gold." All three of us were giggling by the time Nikki finished her spiel.

"You are such a slut," I finally offered through my giggles. Visions of eight guys standing next to a pool and sucking their cocks were bouncing around all of our heads.

"Which means that Kim's brother Mikey is our number one prime candidate if we ever want to find an auto fellater or whatever Megan called it," Nikki concluded.

Soon after all of us fell asleep. Or passed out. Sometime during the night I got up to pee. And then detoured into my brother's room on the way back to mine. His door had been open. There were three girls sleeping in my bed. I jumped into Mikey's. Within seconds I was back in dreamland.


My head was throbbing when I woke up the next morning. The smell of coffee was wafting through the room.

"Wake up sleepyhead!" Nikki's voice.

"Leave me alone," I groaned as I slowly opened my eyes. Where was I?

"I've never been in here before ... not for at least ten years anyway," my best friend said as my eyes finally recognised my brother Mikey's bedroom. Somehow during the night I'd transferred myself from my bed to his. I had no memory of it.

"Coffee ... give me coffee," I pled as I reached for the mug in Nikki's left hand. She passed it over to me even as she took a sip from the mug in her other hand.

"So this is where the little self-sucker lives. We can investigate," she said as she walked over to my brothers desk and then opened the center drawer.

"Don't! It's his stuff, we shouldn't," I said.

"Hah! Brothers are always spying on their sisters. Why can't we?" Nikki asked as she opened another drawer.

"It's not right."

"Maybe we'll find a picture of him ... naked!" Nikki answered with a leer.

"You're such a slut," I accused as I tried to get up from the bed. My head was spinning.

"See if he really has a big, big cock," she added.

"He doesn't have a big cock!"

"You said you'd never seen it. Don't you remember, I explained to you last night that they all have big cocks."

"Which was total bullshit," I answered. Nikki continued to poke through my brother's drawers. First his desk and then his dresser.

"Would you wander around in one of these if you had a small cock?" she asked as she pulled a red Speedo from my brother's dresser and then held it up.

"Put that back," I ordered. As if Nikki could be stopped once she was on a roll. A second later she stepped into it and started to pull it up her legs. All she'd been wearing was a sleepshirt and as I watched her pull the swimming suit up her thighs I saw her pubic hair.

"Oh my gawwwwd! You don't have any panties on," I accused as she pulled them all the way up. "You'll get them--"

"Get them what? Do you think I have cooties or something?"

"Still," I answered. The thought of my brother pulling his bathing suit on after Nikki had worn it was more than troubling. Nikki pubic hairs mixing with my brothers? Gross.

"Look, if a guy has a small dick this is what you'd see," she said as she slipped a finger down into the suit and started to wiggle it. I couldn't help laughing. "A teensy, weensy little worm bobbing in the water."

"You're sick," I said through my giggles.

"Now let's try the Black Avenger. Where is he?" she asked as turned and headed for the bedroom door.

"Don't you dare," I squealed as I threw myself out of bed. Badly hung-over, I stumbled before I'd gotten two steps. "Don't you dare touch him," I yelled at the retreating back of my friend as I lay on the floor. A laughing guffaw was her only answer. The 'Black Avenger', a name Nikki had coined, was a dildo. My black dildo. My rainy day friend. My seven inch dildo that I only used occasionally. That's my story anyway.

"You are the biggest slut in the whole world," I accused when she reappeared a minute later. Sarah, giggling, was trailing after her. It didn't take a genius to figure out that it was the 'Black Avenger' that was clearly outlined through Mike's Speedo. You couldn't miss it through the thin cloth of the suit.

"See," she said triumphantly, "you can see the ridge, even the vein in it through the suit." The 'Black Avenger' was one hundred percent realistic!

"I'll kill you. Now take that out!"

"I think the three of us should all go to your brother's next swim meet," my best friend answered as she wiggled her hips at me. "See his big avenger"...

2- Kyle Murrays dorm room: Wednesday January 11th 2012

Before I go any farther with my story let me just say that I'm not a slut! I don't sleep around indiscriminately. I've had sex with four boys in my life. Just four in my whole life! My high school boyfriend. A guy last summer I met at the camp I was working at. One mistake my second week at school with a frat boy. And then Kyle my current boyfriend.

So I'm not a slut. In fact, outside of that one time, I've been pretty darn careful. But I do like sex! A lot.

I've been going with Kyle Murray since early November. Like me he's a freshman. He's from Dayton, Ohio. He's six feet tall and weighs about one eighty-five. He's nice. I didn't sleep with him until I'd known him for over a month and had gone out on five dates with him. Which shows you how careful I really am.

His penis is just over six inches long. It's a very serviceable penis. I like it. I hadn't had sex before that Wednesday afternoon since he'd gone home for Christmas break weeks earlier. So I was due. I was horny. Wednesday afternoons had sorta become a regular occurrence for us since we'd started sleeping together. It was the one time in the week that we had total privacy. Neither of us had classes that afternoon while his roommate did from one until five.

And that was why I was in my boyfriends bed that day. I'd just been fucked. It had been pretty darn good.

"I missed him," I said as I ran my fingers through his pubic hair and then onto the still semi hard, and now very sticky, shaft.

"You didn't miss me?" Kyle asked.

"You? No way, just this big guy," I teased as I leaned over and planted a wet kiss on the head of his cock. Boy's love being told they're big!

"You're bad," my boyfriend groaned as his cock stiffened.

Cocksucking isn't my favorite pastime since I have always had trouble getting much more than three or four inches into my mouth and I don't particularly like the taste of the stuff. But what the heck, Kyle had deserved a little Xmas present from his sweetie. So I gave him my best shot. Mind you I pulled away well before he came and mounted him. My pussy needed some attention too!

So he came for a second time that afternoon inside me. I didn't quite get there. But that was all right. My vagina was tingling and I liked the feeling of his sperm inside me.

"Do you masturbate a lot?" I asked as we lay on our backs recovering.

"Not with you around," Kyle answered, then leaned over and kissed me.

"Did you used to? Like when you were in high school?"

"Sometimes," he conceded warily.

"Every day? Rubbing your big cock," I encouraged as I leaned over and put my hand around him. Then started to pump him.

"Christ Kim, you'll kill me," he groaned.

And then I asked him! I actually asked him if he'd ever tried to suck his own cock. "Did you ever try to get this big fatboy into your mouth?"

"WHAT!" He denied it at first. Asked me if I thought he was some gay boy or something. But then I told him what Megan had read us, pretending that we'd stumbled across it accidently.

"They say every guy tries it at least once. That's its completely, one hundred percent normal," I told him. Then added, "the article even said that the guys who don't try it are the abnormal ones." It hadn't said that at all but I figured it would get him talking.

He finally conceded he'd tried. When he was younger. He told me that he'd almost touched it with his tongue. He was watching me carefully when he said it. I knew I'd better encourage him some more. "They said only one in one thousand can do it, the real freaks," I told him. "Besides this big guy is made for a woman's mouth." My boyfriend smiled. Later I asked him about sperm. Whether he'd ever tasted his...

3- Campus Coffee Shop: Monday, January 16th 2012

"He can't do it."

"Who can't do it? And what can't he do?" Nikki asked back. The two of us were sitting in the campus coffee shop.

"Suck it."

"Suck whaaa-" Nikki stopped in mid question. She'd figured it out. "Kyle?" I nodded. She looked around to see if anyone could hear us before asking, "Kyle can't suck his own cock? You asked him?" I nodded. Nikki started to laugh. I smiled. "And you accuse me of being a slut," my best friend said derisively.

"He has tried though. Like when he was younger. But he said he couldn't quite reach."

"That's because he's got a small cock," Nikki said dismissively.

"Hah! As if Timothy Grant is Mr. Well Endowed." Tim was Nikki's current boyfriend.

She laughed then said, "He can't either."

"You asked him?"

"What do ya think? Of course I did. I mean that's all you weirdoes were talking about the other night."

"We weirdoes? It was you that-"

"Hah!"

Nikki would never admit to anything. So I got back to the subject at hand. "So he's tried it?"

"He said he had a long time ago. He said the tip of his tongue almost touched it."

"Yeah, in his dreams," I scoffed. "Did he admit to ever tasting his cum?"

"Like I was going to ask him if he liked sperm?"

"I asked Kyle."

"No way!"

"I went down on him. The other day ... after we'd had sex," I told my friend.

"I thought you didn't like giving blowjobs."

"It was a late Christmas gift," I said with a grin. "Anyway, while I was doing it I turned my body so that my legs were over his face."

"A sixty-nine?"

I nodded. "But he wouldn't. Said he didn't want to lick me when I was full of his own cum. That it was gross."

"I hoped you stopped sucking him."

"It was a Christmas present," I answered. "Anyway, once I'd finished I asked him about it. Asked him if he'd ever tasted his sperm."

"They all do. At least once," Nikki said authoritatively. "I read about it in Cosmo or somewhere."

"He denied it at first. But then finally admitted it. Said he just wanted to know what it was like. But that he'd only done it once! And hated it. And then had rinsed out his mouth like six times."

"Yeah and we're supposed to like it," Nikki groused. "The little perv probably loved it." Nikki had never been a big fan of my Kyle...

4- Wilson Home: Tuesday, January 24th 2012 8:03 a.m.

Even though he's only one year behind me in school I'm almost twenty months older than my little brother Mike. He'd just turned eighteen.

My first class on Tuesday mornings is Soc 101 – Introduction to Sociology. It's an 8:30 a.m. tutorial. It had been cancelled for that morning because the TA who ran it, a PhD student, had a dentist appointment. Which meant that I hadn't got up at my usual 7:00 that morning, nor had I left the house at 7:30 with mom like I usually did on Tuesdays. My parents left our house at the same time every workday morning, dad at 7:20 to drive to his job at the insurance company downtown and mom at 7:30 to her accounting job in the North Village. And seeing that mom worked less than a half mile from campus I always caught a ride with her on the days I had early classes. Which was Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. Monday and Thursdays I got to sleep in.

Which meant that Mike believed he was home alone when he walked out of the bathroom at 8:03 that morning. Drying his hair as he walked. With nothing else on! Naked as a jaybird as they say. I was walking towards him. Dressed and on my way down to the kitchen to make breakfast. I stopped. Looked. Gasped. Looked again. Oh my gawd!

For ten seconds neither of us moved. Mike's mouth had popped open. My eyes had! For second after second neither of us said anything. I should have turned away. Or said something. I didn't. Instead my eyes locked onto the thing hanging between his legs. And stayed locked on it.

Mike should have said something. And he definitely should have quickly covered himself with the towel. But he hadn't. It was like the two of us were frozen in some slow motion tableau.

After what seemed like a minute, but was probably only ten or fifteen seconds, my little brother finally reacted. "Jeeesus," he finally muttered, then a quick, "sorry," before he rushed through his bedroom door and disappeared. But not before I caught a look at his naked butt. My brother was no longer a little boy!


Ten minutes later, as I was sitting at the kitchen table trying to swallow my morning cereal, Mike appeared. Fully dressed. Ready for school. My mind had been swirling with the images of what I'd seen for the last ten minutes.

"I didn't know you were still ... I thought you'd gone with mom ... I wouldn't have..." my little brother spluttered out.

"It's okay, I didn't really see anything," I answered as a blush spread across my face.

"You didn't?" We both knew I'd seen everything.

"Anyway, you're my brother, it's normal ... it was bound to happen sometime. I mean we do share a bathroom," I said as I got up from the table and carried my empty bowl to the sink. I just wanted to get the heck out of there.

"Still," Mike offered as I headed for the door. I knew if I stayed one minute longer I'd ask the question that had been on the tip of my tongue since I'd seen him naked. The hair thing.

5- Wilson Home: Monday January 30th 2012

I didn't tell Nikki what I'd seen. No way! But don't kid yourself, what I'd seen was not easily forgotten. My brother had a large cock. I mean I hadn't seen it erect or anything but just hanging there it had been longer than Kyle's. And bigger around. And then there was the other thing!

It had been a strange week since I'd seen him. My brother's and my relationship with each other had been irrevocably changed. Knocked upside down. We hadn't mentioned the 'incident' once in the following days but it had been hanging over us every second we'd been together. I'd been nervous every time I'd run into him.

My brother was a man! He'd morphed from a cute younger brother, a pest at times but usually tolerated and even loved by his older sister, into this guy with a penis. A bald penis for crying out loud. And what the heck was with that I continually wondered as the days passed.

It will never happen again I tried to convince myself even while somewhere deep inside my brain I recognised that I wanted it to. That I wanted to see it again. I dreamed of it that week. Again and again. Both as I'd seen it and how I imagined it erect.

Monday was one of my regular sleep-in days. Days I didn't leave early with mom. My first class was only at ten. So Mike certainly couldn't use the excuse that he'd thought he was alone in the house when he exited the bathroom nude that morning. In fact I'm pretty sure he'd been listening for me, waiting for me to come out of my room. Had he wanted me to see him nude again as badly as I had wanted to?

"Sorry," he said when we almost bumped into each other. But he didn't sound sorry. Or act it. In fact I couldn't miss the insouciant pose he struck. Thrusting his hips out even as he pretended to be surprised. His cock was bigger than it had been the first time. It wasn't fully erect but it was certainly more than half way there. I couldn't take my eyes off it. Had he made it bigger purposely, rubbed it, before he'd left the bathroom I wondered as I watched it.

I stared. He caught me staring. Seconds passed. He finally turned and made as if to flee to his bedroom. I simply stood transfixed as I watched him. My brother's cock was beautiful. I mean it. It looked like the ones you see on the internet: big, strong, straight, the right color, the head perfectly shaped ... I snapped out of it just as he disappeared through his door.

Then, without conscious thought on my part, the words spilled from my lips. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

Mike reappeared. Still nude. Smiling. There was a look on his face that guys give girls they're trying to impress. It was a look he'd never given me before. "Sure. What?"

Don't ask him I tried to order my brain. It didn't listen. "Why don't you have any hair?" I didn't say pubic hair but he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Here you mean?" as he held up his arms and exposed his hairless armpits. "Or do you mean my legs?" he asked.

"You're ... there," I said as I pointed at my brother's groin. He started to laugh. Then slowly ran his palm across his groin. A groin that sported only a light stubble of blond hairs.

"Do you really want to know?" I nodded yes even though what I really wanted to do was flee. "It was for the swim meet. The big one the week after Christmas. The State one."

"You're not supposed to shave down there."

"Just when it's a special occasion. For a big meet. We all do it."

"All? Who all? Surely not the girls..."

"It's sorta a team ritual. Just for the older members of the team. The night before the State meet. And only for those that qualified. We shave each other."

"What! Girls and boys together?"

"You can't tell anyone," my brother cautioned. I was having trouble keeping eye contact with him as my eyes continually darted downwards. "This year only Jennie Connors and Sue Graham and I qualified."

I knew my brother had gone to the meet. It had been held the second, third and fourth of January in Pittsburgh. "They shaved you? Your-" Mike nodded. "Where were the coaches? Christ they're supposed to be supervising you."

"You don't understand," he answered.

"Jennie Connors and Sue Graham shaved your prick and balls and I don't understand?" My brother raised his eyes in surprise at my use of the words prick and balls.

"It's for luck. To build team spirit," my brother answered.

"Team spirit! What about your girlfriend? What about Bonnie?"

"This has nothing to do with her. She's my girlfriend, this was sports." As he talked another wheel clicked in my brain.

"You didn't shave them?" he nodded. "Everywhere?" Another nod. And then Mikey launched into a full description of the group shaving. Two eighteen year old girls had lathered my brothers body. They'd shaved his arms, his legs, his stomach. Then they'd moved lower.

"Did you get an erection while they were doing it?" I interrupted. He nodded. For second after second the vision of two girls on their knees with razors in their hands facing my brothers cock bounced around my brain. "You didn't do anything else? Any sex stuff did you?" I finally asked.

"Of course not!" In a tone that asked, 'are you crazy'. "You can't have sex the night before a race. You can't waste the energy ... you'd never swim as fast. Everyone knows that."

Yeah right, I thought. You can spend all night shaving each other's private parts but you can't have sex. And I was about to tell him that when he said, "You only get to sleep with the girls if you place in your race. And only after the meet is over."

 
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