When I was nineteen I had a crush on a girl named Ruth. We were both introverted, but Ruth had a tendency to flirt unrepentantly with other guys and since we'd never formalized our own relationship, I was out of luck when it came to complaining about it. Ruth seemed to take a perverse pleasure in torturing me in this way.

Though we had gone on dates, and I had professed love for her, she couldn't commit. Our relationship had grown into an intense, often scary, friendship based on mutual interests and how we each could fulfill the others carnal desires and yet not let the other know the truth of the matter. By this I mean we would call each other up and make up role-playing adventures based on our favorite television, movie and book characters. Often we'd invent new characters for existing "universes" which gave us complete creative freedom. And what we did with that freedom... !

Inevitably, the plotline of these stories would turn intensely sexual. It went something like this. While in character, I would say, "He's (meaning I'm) licking her (meaning your) inner thigh - lick, lick, L-I-C-K," and Ruth would moan, saying, "MMmmmm ... yes ... oh yes..." and so on. Or Ruth would say, "She's (meaning I'm) licking his (meaning your) cock, taking it into her (meaning my) mouth ... sucking on it ... tasting the precum..."

Now, this went on for months and months ... and at the end of each of these "stories" we were role-playing, the "characters" would erupt in mind-shattering orgasms which we would "role-play" to the hilt.

Look - I know I was stroking my cock the whole time, and when my "character" would cum, I'd end up shooting a load so hard it would miss my chest and hit me squarely in the face. I'm not kidding! This is how I learned what my own cum tasted like, by accident and from the intensity of the orgasms I was having while we "role-played." Now, I never asked Ruth if she was fingering her hot, wet little twat while we talked, but either she was the best actress the known universe has ever known, or she was coming for real. Plain and simple. And her orgasms made MY toes curl!

We would engage in this "role-play" from 2:30 in the afternoon when we'd get home from school until 3am, even when we were both in school. Nine times out of ten we'd fall asleep on the phone with one another! For my part, I was sure I was in love. Yet when I told Ruth my true feelings for her, she said she was very sorry but that she didn't like me in "that" way. WTF??

I was such a confused adolescent that not a single day of my life in the twenty-five years that have passed goes by that I don't think of her in a sexual way at least a dozen times a day. I even fall asleep fantasizing about her still. And lest you think I'm a sad and lonely 40+ year old virgin, rest assured ... I'm happily married and have three kids. Ruth really screwed me up inside, yet I still think back to those days and fantasize about having a time machine to go back and do something to change things so I'd end up with Ruth.

I always return in my mind to a warm Spring day in May of 1986 as the "nexus" for my best opportunity to change how the future unfolded. And ironically, it was at an event celebrating a certain television show about time travel that my best shot at finally "sealing the deal" with Ruth was missed. Or so I like to think in retrospect. I have written the way things should have gone over and over in my mind, but decided today to share this story. Maybe Ruth herself will read it some day and at long last know the truth and just what was lost that day.

May 1986 - "The 5th Dimension" RV - Parked Beneath the Washington Monument on the Mall in DC...

Ruth E. and I have been invited by the local television station to come down to the launch of a traveling exhibition being held in town. The exhibition is a celebration of a particular television program whose longevity and creativity have made it an icon around the world. We were excited to be here as we'd often shared our particularly naughty brand of "collaborative writing" with one another on the phone late at night.

We were both, no doubt, thinking of the countless times we'd "role-played" our "special brand" of adventures together, safe from any accidental physical contact with one another by the fact that we were each alone in our bedrooms, doors closed, mutually pleasuring one another from across town, all the while pretending it was just "writing collaboration." We were horny teenagers and this was a safe outlet. It let both of us "pop our corks" without any of the usual backlash from such behavior. What I didn't realize at the time, and maybe Ruth realizes now even as I do, that what we had done left lasting emotional marks on us both.

However, today Ruth was very nervous because she was about to meet one of the stars of the show, and I knew she had the hots for him in a big way. In fact, just the night before we'd "role played" a scenario with the character this actor she was about to meet portrayed, and she had cum so hard during her "make believe" orgasm that she'd knocked the phone off of her bedside table. As I stood beside her, I kept thinking about how wet her little pussy must be right now, and how much I wanted to get her naked and stop with the play acting and get on with the reality.

We were invited inside the exhibition's spacious and luxurious RV, ironically named the "5th Dimension," to wait for the guests of honor to arrive. Ruth and I made small talk and tried desperately to ignore the sexual tension in the room. It was always like this when we were physically in close proximity, but we were both two shy to act on it. Now that we were inside, and so close to her on the couch, I could smell the heat of her arousal over her perfume and it made my cock bulge visibly. I tried to cover up the fact, but I know she had to have seen it.

We never acted on our physical attraction in the normal way because of the unique nature of our friendship. Ruth was unwilling to risk losing that special form of "friendship with benefits" by going further. She reasoned that if a physical real-world relationship went wrong, our friendship would end, and she'd not have her "safety valve" form of sexual release she'd come to rely on.

I, on the other hand, was willing to risk it all for just one chance at getting her naked and losing myself completely with her. I wanted to touch her heated flesh with my flesh, savor her scent and her taste in long, never-ending sessions of lovemaking, and fill her deeply with my throbbing cock by every means possible. I wanted to take her right here, right now, and be caught in the act by the people we were waiting for, screwing each other's brains out on the floor of their VIP RV.

We were both tired of waiting and tired of the tension between us when the RV door opened. The exhibition coordinator, Brian, stepped inside, followed by his boss. Next came Peter, one of the previous stars of the show. Brian introduces us to the pair and I tell Peter that Ruth is her biggest fan and give him a wink. He grins (I think knowingly) and she cringes and tries to shrink behind me. Her scent by now is so strong that I wonder if everyone in the room has noticed it.

With an evil feeling of satisfaction, I grasped my hands around Ruth's shoulders and bodily push her towards Peter. As she passes to him, I stare at her ass in delight. I can't be sure in this light, but is that a wet spot beginning on the backside of her jeans? I imagine that by now Ruth is so wet that her juices are starting to dribble down her legs. I long to run my hot tongue up from her knees, across her thighs, and intercept each rivulet as it forms. But I shake off the sexual fog forming in my head and try to remain composed.

I watch as Peter gives Ruth a long, tight hug. I think, surely he knows this poor girl is about to cum with his arms around her, but to his credit he ignores it and finally releases her from the embrace. Ruth looks at me, and in her face I can see that three predominant emotions are fighting a pitched battle inside of her - hatred toward me for her embarrassment, ecstasy from the feelings in her pussy, and terror that she will cum right then and there, falling to the floor in writhing spasms of pleasure. For my part, I'm hoping to watch and take some small measure of satisfaction in her humiliation. I have so much pent-up anger towards her for denying what I know we both want and need, and want to see her suffer as I have for it.

Poor little Ruthie looks like she is about to faint on the spot. I can see that I wasn't imaging the wet spot. She either peed herself just now, or more likely, knowing how much she is attracted to Peter and fantasizes to me about him, creamed herself completely. I can't keep my mind off of that image. Ruth excuses herself clumsily and darts into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. We hear it lock with a loud click. Inside, I think I hear a low and tremulous moan.

Looking around, I wonder if anyone else heard her. There's an awkward silence for a moment, some throat clearing, then we all chuckle. "Fangirls," I want to say, but keep my mouth shut. The polite fiction is that Ruth is inside the bathroom freshening up and composing herself. I know the truth, and suspect I might not be alone in that knowledge.

The moment has passed and the assemblage begins to say their goodbyes, as they have others to meet outside at the event and in an hour's time, the official kickoff ceremonies with begin.

[Author's Note]

THIS is the nexus point. From here on out to the end, the story will unfold as it SHOULD have done that fateful day in May.

They excuse themselves, and as Brian is about to close the door, he leans his head in and says, "take your time, mate!" He tosses me an ink pen, saying "For the lock. You'll know what to do." I grin and nod my head.

I find myself all alone in the RV except for Ruth, who is still locked in the over-sized bathroom. I listen at the door and still hear soft moans and rapid breathing inside. My cock pops up at the sound and I know that this is my chance! I look at the pen in my hand and quickly remove the top, extricating the ink cartridge. Holding the long, slender plastic metal-tipped cartridge, I slip it silently into the little hole in the center of the bathroom doorknob. With a soft click I pop the lock.

In a fluid, quick motion, I swing the door open and watch as Ruth flinches backward on the closed toilet lid. She is completely naked, and her legs are spread wide and her dark brown pubic hair is slick and wet from her arousal. There is a small milky white puddle on the toilet lid, and her right hand is grinding against her clit while her index and middle fingers are buried deep inside of her wet pussy.

The air is heavy with the scent of her vaginal musk. She moans even as she realizes she's been caught, looking terrified but so close to coming that she can't stop herself. This is exactly what I'd always pictured her doing on the phone with me and longed to watch! Only the time for watching and waiting are over for me. The overpowering aroma of her wet pussy is making me dizzy with desire ... and oh so hungry!

I smile, making a shushing sound and stepping closer, closing the door behind me and relocking it. My eyes never break contact with hers and I smile as she starts to whimper with pent up desire as she realizes that she and I are finally going to break the unbearable sexual tension that has plagued us for months.

She remembers, as do I, all those long, long hours on the telephone play-acting with one another, fully aware that we were engaged in heated phone sex though too embarrassed to ever admit it. Now, she knows, we are going to get it on for real. Fuck. Screw one another's brains out. Finally do the deed as it's meant to be done!