Chapter 30: Beer After Math

"Oh, man. I want a beer so bad I can taste it," said the Stick, "how am I going to do that?"

"You could make mead," Joanne suggested. "If you had honey, if you had a fermenter, if you had yeast, if you had..."

"Shit, woman! Don't rub it in!" Kurt hollered, "HEY!"

"Yes Big Stick?" Two Voices responded.

"I want a beer. I know what I need to brew it and I'm willing to wait for it to ferment, but it's going to have to be either bottled or we drink it all at once." Kurt pondered the subject for a bit, "Joanne, ask Jo to call a town meeting, please."

Joanne did. Jo did. The deal was put to a vote. The family was all for it but the tribe didn't have a clue.

"Beer?" asked Lone Tree, "what's beer?"

"Oh, shit," commented Kurt. "You don't have a clue and it's going to take some careful experimenting to make sure your people can drink it."

"How come?"

"Native Americans ... that's you in 12 thousand years ... don't do beer or alcohol well."

"Why not?"

"It's an adaptive thing. "Kurt thought about it, "if you take it easy and don't drink a lot I'll bet you can adapt to it better than they did. I think it's just a matter of time and usage. If it doesn't work, I won't make it again."

"What does it do? Your tobacco is great ... actually, the tribe likes everything you guys do. The bow and arrows are a big improvement over the spear. The tipi is much better for living in than the huts we used to make. And the horses ... we love the horses."

"Yeah, well, you're not supposed to get horses until the Spanish bring them, we cheated."

"So, what's beer?" Lone Tree asked, again.

"This is going places you don't have a clue."

"You said that."

"I know ... Barley ... it's a cultivated grain ... Whooboy this is going to get complicated. We're going to have to plow and sow seeds, raise a crop, harvest it, thresh it, sprout it, heat it to stop the sprouting, crack the sprouted grain, put it in heated water, circulate the water, raise the temp of the water, drain it into a vat, boil it ... hop it ... shit. Two Voices?"

"Yes, Stick?"

"Do hops grow here?"

"Ask Jo." laughed Two Voices.

"JO!!"

"Yeah Kurt?"

"Hops. Are they native?"

"Yup."

"Got any?" asked Kurt.

"Nope."

"Can you get any?"

"No, but you can. I'll show you where it's growing." Jo walked over to the cliff about 30 feet from the falls and pointed, up, "hops, byeee."

"Holy shit! That's a long ways up!"

"Yup." Jo laughed, "have fun."

What looked like hops had sprouted in a crack about half way up the vertical cliff face and just kept growing up. They weren't tall enough to reach from the top. Getting to them called for a conference with Bill. As usual, Bill had missed the meeting.

"BEER?!?!" Where do I sign up!!" exclaimed Bill.

"Hold yer hosses, cowboy. " Kurt continued, "this might not work so don't get yer panties in a twist."

"TEASE!!"

Kurt thought about it and asked the Cheese.

"I actually think we need to go fetch some from home," the Cheese suggested. "Just to see if this will be worth doing, we ought to get long necks we could reuse the bottles."

"That would work," Kurt thought some more. 'bottles, vats, water, barley, hops, caps ... shit I forgot caps. Lessee, ' "Aarrrggghhh! I forgot!"

"What did you forget?" asked Lone Tree.

"Sugar," Kurt confessed, "I'm going to need sugar for the carbonation. Oh Hell and damnation. We'll need caps, too."