Chapter 2

This is the story of love, anger, pain and remorse. The first chapter, "The night that was," has already been posted and told of the night that Dan found his wife, Diane with another man.

Subsequent chapters will tell how their lives, including their two children, have and continue to change through the grueling experience of divorce.

The first story contained no sex; however, this and all following chapters do have sex.

I hope you enjoy this realistic portrayal of the roller coaster of emotions and thoughts by the characters as I tried to bring to life the trauma they experienced.

I believe this story will stand alone, however; I would recommend reading, "The night that was," first.

As always, I hope you enjoy the read, and I'm always looking for feedback.

Thank you.

Life after divorce

Chicago's winter weather certainly wasn't doing anything for my disposition. It was only four-thirty and already it was dark outside. I locked the front door to my photography studio and braced the bone chilling cold as I almost slipped on the icy sidewalk. The raw January wind came whipping in from off of Lake Michigan and immediately froze the nasty scowl that I wore on my face as I trudged through the deep snow, sludge, and slop on the way to my car.

What ever happened to the happy-go-lucky Dan Taylor who used to occupy this body, I thought. It seemed I was always pissed off lately. Today I lost half a day's shooting because some idiot account exec screwed up the schedule. Things like that happen from time to time but in the mood I'm in ... well, it just seems like every little problem becomes monumental lately.

It's not like I don't know what's wrong. I just spent my first Christmas as a bachelor and I absolutely hated it. If I had a penny for every time I've second-guessed myself for going ahead with the divorce, I'd never have to work again for the rest of my life.

I know Diane would love to have me come back. When I picked up my daughters, Amy and Marsha, on Christmas morning they told me they could hear their mother quietly crying in her bedroom the night before. It was the first Christmas Eve since we met, that we were not together. I didn't tell the kids but she wasn't the only one crying that night.

What's even worse is what my daughters are going through. Don't get me wrong, they've both been brave little troopers, but I know inside their hurting. They would normally be screaming and jumping all over the place on Christmas morning as they opened their presents, but not his year. This year they smiled and thank me with their kisses, but I could read their thoughts, see it in their eyes, the only Christmas present they wanted was for their mother and me to be back together and have everything as it was.

Seeing my kids in that kind of pain, knowing the pain my wife is going through, and the pain and doubt I feel every single day, yeah, I knew the reasons I was not my happy-go-lucky self. I could only pray that, in time, it would get a little easier for everyone. Day by day life goes on. I just wondered, on what day does the pain start to hurt less.

As got into my car and sat while it warmed up a little, I thought even small decisions were getting harder to make. Tonight I had class. Three nights a week, I taught a class on creative photography at our city college. I started there three years ago and had put every dollar I made into a college fund for the girls. It had always been fun for me. The kids always challenged me, kept me on my toes and forced me to stay up to date with their questions concerning new equipment and techniques. Lately; however, just like everything else, it was becoming more of a headache and I was seriously thinking about making this my last year.

So, decision time, should I fight rush hour traffic and go home to my empty, two bedroom condo in the burbs, fix myself something eat and relax a little before going to class, or should I eat down town and wait for traffic to clear then go straight to class from here. Oh hell, I thought, I haven't cussed-out or given anyone the finger all day, I think I'll fight my way through the traffic and just go home now.

Later that evening I sat on the corner of my desk, as I most often do, and watched the kids file in and take their seats. As she walked past me, Cathy Benton leaned toward me and quietly asked if she could see me after class. Assuming I knew the subject of our up coming conversation, I told her I had nothing planned after class so it would be no problem.

Cathy was a gorgeous young lady. She was intelligent, had a wonderful personality, lustrous blond hair, beautiful high cheek bones, and a knock out figure. I had talked to her earlier in the semester about a career in modeling, but at the time she didn't seem too interested. I was sure she had changed her mind and was now considering my proposal. I had used unknown models before and gave several their start in the profession through the years. I never asked nor expected anything in return. Just watching them succeed in the business was reward enough.

After class Cathy waited at her desk until most of the others had left, then approached me at the front of the room. "Maybe we can go out for a drink," she said still keeping her voice low.

I was a little stunned at her offer. Cathy was only twenty one and I was coming up on forty, what would people think? Still, I had been so damned depressed lately, maybe a couple drinks with a beautiful blond was just what I needed to lift my spirits. "Sure," I said, "How about Plato's on Touhy Avenue."

"That's perfect," she said, "I'll meet you there."

I was already sitting at the bar when Cathy walked in. "What would you like?" I asked.

"Ah, a white wine would be great, thank you," she said. I gave the bartender her order and took a sip of my vodka and tonic. I expected her to sit down on the stool next to me, but she stood until the bartender brought her drink. Looking over at the tables in the darkest corner of the bar, she asked, "Can we sit over there?"

Not even waiting for confirmation, she picked up her glass of wine and started walking. I slipped off my seat and followed behind. Once at the table of her choosing I set my glass down then, always the gentleman, moved over to pulled her chair out for her. I wondered if the younger guys still did things like that as she smiled at me with a nod of gratitude.

I had to notice the difference in her demeanor. In school, other than being the prettiest girl in any of my classes, she was like any of my other students, listening to my lectures and asking questions. But now, in this kind of an atmosphere, she seem much more mature, more womanly, more confident.

I started the conversation. "Cathy, I'm assuming you've changed your mind about modeling. In two weeks I have a..."

She interrupted. "No Dan, that's not what this is about."

Now I was confused. She called me Dan. I guess she felt comfortable in the informal surroundings, but I wasn't sure I felt the same way. She was still a student. "Okay," I said. "What's up."

"There is a rumor going around the school that you're getting a divorce, is that true?"

Now I had absolutely no idea where this conversation was leading, the subject of my divorce was certainly the last thing I expected. I was taken aback to know a student of mine even knew this much about my personal life. I was definitively uneasy talking about it, but my curiosity was piqued now. I had to know where this conversation was going. I thought I'd tell her just a little without going into any real details that was none of her business. "Well, almost," I said, "the divorce won't actually be final for another three months. May I ask how you knew about my divorce?"

"I heard it from some of the other kids. It's pretty much common knowledge at the campus. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry," she said, "but from the first day in your class I thought you were someone I'd like to know better. I knew you were married so I never said anything to you but when I heard you were getting a divorce ... well, I guess you'd say I want to throw my hat into the ring."

I think I just sat there with my mouth hanging open for a few minutes. I had no idea my personal life was such a popular topic of discussion on campus. On top of that, did my twenty-one year old photography student just proposition me? I knew there were about a million and one reasons why I should stop this before it starts, but I'll be damned if I could think of one at the moment.

"Ah, Cathy this is ... um, unbelievably flattering," I said bumbling over my words like a sex starved teenager, "but I'm almost twenty years older than you."

She seemed to sit back in her chair a little bit. "Yes, and what's your point?" she said. I was trying to remember just what my point was, when I felt something. I looked down and saw her stocking enclosed toes feeling around my crotch.

I can only imagine the expression on my face as I looked back up at her. I'm assuming it was comical because Cathy chuckled to herself with a wicked little laugh.

It had been a long time. I know friends could never understand why I wasn't sleeping with half the models I worked with. The truth was, I would never even considered it. Unlike a lot of the other photographers that worked with models, I always kept work separate from pleasure.

As soon as a photographer started sleeping with one of his models she started expecting special treatment. That usually resulted in the photographer insisting she get the best assignments whether she was right for the job or not and that meant disappointed and pissed off clients.

It never failed, whenever a photographer started screwing one of the models, it caused problems for the photographer, his customers, and his work suffered as a result of it. In the end the model would start to feel used and trash the photographer and his reputation and probably hurt her own reputation in the process. Nope it just wasn't worth it, not as far as I was concerned.

There was one exception of course, Diane. Diane was one in a million. I fell in love with her from the moment I saw her. The first time she stepped into the studio my heart pounded so hard I thought it would jump from my chest, from that moment, I knew I would marry her. Never had that happened before, or since. If it ever happened again I guess I would make an exception once again, but somehow I just knew it never would.

I had to admit though, right now Cathy's toes pressing against my rapid hardening cock felt pretty damned good, really pretty damned good. She looked at me with a mischievous, little smile. "Well?" she asked.

"Well," I said, "I think this is something we should be discussing at my place."

She moved her foot down and slipped it back into her shoe. She looked at me and motioned for me to come closer. She brought her lips to mine and smiled as she gently bit my lower lip. "Tonight I am going to fuck your brains out," she said quietly. I just about came all over myself. "Come on," she said, "let's take your car."

It was a short, ten minute drive to my condo but I think I experience every emotion in the human psyche in that length of time. I doubted my decision making, I kept asking myself, what the hell am I doing? She's half my age ... and a student. I felt guilty, this is the first time I've been with another woman besides my wife in over twelve years. I was nervous, I hadn't made love to any woman in a long time, does a guy get rusty? I was worried, what if I disappoint her, I'm sure she's used to younger men. But most of all, I was excited, damn I'm going to get laid!

I asked her if I could get her something as we walked into my place. "Yeah," she said, "naked." I tuned to face her. She really was a beautiful woman. I caressed her hair with one hand as I reached around her small waist with my other. She looked into my eyes as I pulled her closer. I slowly closed the gap between her inviting lips and my own. Her tongue was the first to find its way and dance with mine. I felt her hand rub the front of my pants. My cock was already rock hard and I was beginning to worry I would cum before even getting undressed.

I showed her the way to the bedroom and approached her from behind. She took a half step back and moved her arm behind her so she could fondle my privates as I reached around and unbuttoned her blouse. I slipped it backwards, over her smooth shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I lightly kissed and caressed the nape of her neck as I undid her fancy laced, black bra. I took my time slowly unzipping her short skirt and listened as it fell to the floor around her feet.

Dressed now only in her thin, daintily laced, black silk panties, thigh high stockings, and high heels, she stepped toward the bed, turned and sat on the edge. She slipped off her shoes then, seductively rolled her nylons down her long, shapely legs.

Cathy looked at me and gestured with her finger for me to come closer. I unbuttoned my own shirt as she unhooked my belt, the clasp on my pants, and pulled my zipper down. As I took off my shirt she reached into the sides of my jockey shorts and pulled them and my trousers down at the same time.

My cock had been waiting for this since she first touched it with her toes. It sprang free bobbing up and down like a wooden diving board. "Oh my," Cathy cooed with a broad smile, "Oooooh, someone is glad to see me."

She reached under with her tongue and licked from my balls all the way up to the top of my shaft. There she stopped and, using just the tip of her tongue, flicked it back and forth over the opening. God I was in heaven. "Ssssssssss," I took a long, deep breath sucking the air through my slightly parted lips and over my teeth as I closed my eyes and just allowed myself the long awaited sexual euphoria that I was experiencing. I was so hard it was painful which only added to the excitement.

Still with my eyes closed I took another deep breath as I felt the warmth from her precious mouth encase the end of my cock then glide its way down to the base, my balls touching her chin. I could feel the sensitive, engorged head as she slid my penis down her magnificent throat then back out again, and again, and again...

I thought sure I was going to lose it as she reached under and scraped my balls with her long nails while swirling her saliva around the dome of my quivering cock.

I felt her wrap her long fingers around me and pull slightly. I opened my eyes and saw Cathy leaning back onto the bed with a devilish grin. She raised her hips and I knew it was my cue to remove her panties. I took the feminine piece of thin fabric by each side and as sensually as possible, uncovered her smooth, bald mound, the center of her womanhood, and right now, the center of my universe.

I started with my tongue on her flat stomach as I felt between her slit. No problem there, it was warm, wet, and inviting. I moved down and parted her lips to allow my tongue access to her heavenly carnal canal.

I smiled as I thought to myself, I guess it's like riding a bike. With-in moments I had her writhing in ecstasy, grabbing me by the back of my hair and pushing me harder between her legs as she exploded in a mind numbing orgasm screaming my name and God's in the same phrase.

Almost immediately after her climax, like a woman possessed, she scrambled around and I found myself on the bottom of a sixty-nine position with Cathy's dripping pussy resting on my lips and her mouth, once again, engulfing my cock traveling up and down its shaft like a mad person. I knew I couldn't last long now so I reached up with my tongue and started lapping at the juices emanating from her gorgeous pussy.

"Oh, I'm going to cum," I yelled, "honey, I can't hold it anymore, I'm going to ... cuuuummmmm, aaahhhhh." My hips bucked up and down, my head involuntarily was thrown backwards as my back arched upward. My whole body went into spasms. Again, and again, I felt my cum shooting from deep within my balls while Cathy milked every drop.

I was still breathless, my eyes closed as I laid there taking in the womanly scent I missed so much. I could feel Cathy's swollen breasts taking deep breaths as she lovingly cleaning the last remnants of thick goo from my now deflating dick.

"Umm," she said in a sultry voice, "I hope you're not one of those guys who can only get it up once a night. I want you inside of me. I want to feel you, I want you to pound my pussy with your hard cock. Do you think you can do that for me? Can you get hard again, hard enough to make love to me?"

This time there was no doubt. I was always good for three, sometimes more. I was sure getting hard again was not going to be a problem and it wasn't.

We laid in each other's arms for a little while. Cathy gently stroked my cock and with-in a short time I felt life coming back in the old boy. Cathy felt it too. She looked into my eyes and smiled.

"Ooooh," she said, "someone's getting their second wind all ready." She reached up and lightly placed a kiss on my cheek, then another one, she then moved to my mouth and kissed me hard, passionately, forcing her tongue to mingle with my own.

I grabbed her and rolled her over so she was now under me and returned her kiss just as passionately. I swung my left leg over separating hers. I hoisted myself up with my hands and hovered over her while I maneuvered myself into position. She reached down and found my hard shaft pointing in her direction. She pulled it down slightly and showed it the path to heaven. I just stayed still for a moment, elating in the warm comfort of her body. I slowly pushed myself in all the way then back out until just the tip of my dick remained inside her womb. I took several short strokes teasing those pearly gates then pushed all the way home again.

Cathy dug her nails into my back as I increase my thrusts in speed and force. She screamed, "Oh fuck, oh fuck," as one orgasm after another hit her, twisting her body.

I could feel myself getting closer, my cock now feeling like a piece of steel. I could feel it building and building from deep inside of me. I couldn't hold back any longer. "Aaugghh," I yelled not caring if anyone on the other side my condo walls could hear or not. I thrust inside her with every powerful gush of cum forced from my body to hers. She reached around my neck with both arms and pulled me down on top of her, the erratic breathing of our two bodies forcing our sweaty, naked flesh to take liberties with the other.

I gently explored her body as we laid together, each of us coming down from our night of passion. For just an instant, a picture of Diane seeing us like this flashed through my brain, filling me with guilt, but I forced it from my mind and started to tenderly kiss Cathy all over. I couldn't live the rest of my life as a pissed off divorced man. I had to get on with my life.

We laid there, our bodies intertwined with each others. I was hoping she would spend the evening and I would not feel the loneliness of an empty bed for one night, but it was not to be.

"I have to get going, Dan."

"You're welcome to spend the night. I make a pretty mean steak and eggs for breakfast," I said trying to make her an offer she couldn't refuse.

"I can't," she said, "I'm a terrible grouch in the morning. I don't want you to see me like that, at least not yet. Besides, I have a ton of things to do early in the morning. No, as much as I would love to spend the night, I can't."

I tried not to sound too disappointed. "Okay," I said, "I understand. You just want to use my body for sex." I smiled to make sure she knew I was kidding.

She laughed. "That's right," she said, "any complaints?"

"Not a one."

By the time I got Cathy back to her car it was after two in the morning. Plato's parking lot was dark and cold. I told Cathy to start her car then come back to mine as we sat long enough to let her car warm up. After a few minutes she drove from the parking lot. I watched her tail lights disappear as she drove down the deserted street.

I just sat there for a few minutes. I was too worked up to go back home so I went to a Denny's to think over several cups of coffee. I just had a wonderful time with a gorgeous young lady, so why couldn't I just revel in my nirvana and be happy ... because after twelve years of loving someone, you don't just turn it off like a switch. For the second time tonight I felt the pangs of guilt. I thought about what Diane said, how guilty she felt after sleeping with someone. I wondered if she felt more or less guilty than I feel right now.

This isn't fair, I thought. I'm the injured party here, I shouldn't feel guilty at all. I need to get on with my life. How am I going to do that if I feel guilty every time I enjoy someone's company. Again, I pushed the guilt to the side and tried to concentrate on the feeling of elation that I felt with Cathy's mouth engulfing my cock. I smiled to myself and took another sip of coffee.

The next month was actually kind of fun. I could feel myself getting closer to that happy-go-lucky guy I used to be. Diane seemed like she was finally accepting the fact that we were not going to get back together and we were getting to the point where we could talk to each other normally when I came to pick up the kids. I always had something exciting planned for the week-ends with Amy and Marsha and Cathy came over two or three times during the week to screw my brains out.

Even the weather was starting to break a little. Most of the snow and slush had melted and the temperature was above the freezing mark. You know what you haven't done in a long time? I told myself. Gone out on a date. Yup, all the times Cathy and I were in bed together, and I've never taken her out on a date. That's something I must remedy right now, I thought to myself.

I picked up my cell phone and hit the speed dial for her number. Cathy saw the I.D. "Hey baby," she said in her normal, upbeat tone of voice, "are you horny again already?"

"Well, now that you mention it, yeah, but that's not what I'm calling you about," I said. I heard her chuckling on the other end.

"What are doing Wednesday evening?" I asked.

"Wednesday? Nothing that I can think of right now, babe, why?"

"Because I happened think, the closest thing we've had to a date was the one drink at Plato's we had that first night together."

"A date, you want to take me out on a date? Aren't you sweet," she said. "I'd love to out, where are you taking me?"

"Well, Cats is showing at the Blackstone. I thought we could grab a nice dinner down town then take in the play. After that, of course, go back to my place and fuck like bunnies."

Again she chuckled. "That sounds like a perfect evening to me," she said. "It's a date."

I made all the arrangements and was looking forward to a great evening.

For a guy who's job it is to look at beautiful women all day, I have to say I was flabbergasted when Cathy answered her door. I had never seen her all dressed up. Her blond, shoulder length hair framed her face to perfection. Her hazel blue eyes absolutely sparkled and it didn't take a lot of imagination to realize she was wearing no underwear under that black, slinky dress.

"Holy cow, Cathy," I said, "you are ... unbelievably ... just breath takingly stunning."