Chapter 16

(Conclusion)

Sarah drifted through the next few weeks, numb to her surroundings, and on autopilot for the most part.

It was a good thing that Maggie's cousin Phil was around to pick up the slack, because between the two girls; and their relationship woes, they were not at their most productive.

The job for Sam's firm was starting to take shape, and Sarah guiltily left Phil to it, with Maggie's absent minded supervision.

Sam had not once tried to contact her since that day when she had told him to go away and leave her alone ... she was bitterly aware that she could hardly blame him for doing exactly what she told him to do ... but she did!

Surely if he had loved her the way that he claimed to, then he would have been prepared to fight for her?

Deep down in the dark pit of her soul, Sarah suspected that Sam had been relieved to get out ... to get away from a relationship that he'd not wanted in the first place but which seemed to have taken on a life of its own.

Sarah spent the next few days alternating between anger at men in general and utter horror at the way she had spoken to Sam.

The look on his face, before she had turned her back on him ... that look was what woke her in the middle of the night – every night since!

She was deeply in love with Sam – head over heels in love with him – and the very last person in the world that she would ever want to hurt...

And she suspected that not only had she hurt him – she just knew that she had – on some level – maybe even destroyed him.

"Oh you fool!" she wept as she stood under the shower, this was the only time that she could vent her feelings; allowing the sound of the water to cover her crying and the water on her cheeks to wash away the tears.

Maggie had enough on her mind – without having her to worry over as well.

Sarah knew that it was only a matter of time before Maggie surfaced enough from her own misery – to wonder what had happened to Sam.

But at the moment Maggie was deep into it – she was doing the full on hurt, bitterness and love's betrayal.

She alternated between tears – fury and despair on a regular basis and Sarah was on hand to deal with whatever came up.

And the fact that Pete was still calling – was just getting plain annoying. If he wanted to talk to her that badly why couldn't he bloody well come over?

He was back in England – he'd said so yesterday, so where the hell was he?

Sarah had spent all day yesterday – out and about, catching up with some of their clients, and troubleshooting some of their computer problems. When she had returned to the flat last night; there had seemed to be something different about Maggie, she seemed calmer somehow, more focused and almost at peace with things.

"Is everything okay?" Sarah asked softly, as the evening progressed and her friend remained silent and thoughtful.

"What? Oh ... yes ... yes ... I just..." Maggie smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I'm just tired of all the wallowing..." she gave a little yawn which she covered with her hand. "I'm tired full stop – I think!" she stood up and smiled down at her friend's obvious worry. "I think I'll have a nice long soak in the bath ... then I'm going to have an early night.

"Well ... if you're sure?"

"I'm fine Sarah – honest ... I will be fine!"

For the first time in a long time, there was a hint of the old Maggie in her friend's voice.

"Night night love." Maggie smiled again.

"Night Mag's, sweet dreams!" Sarah smiled back, although her eyes searched her friends worriedly.

The weekend was almost upon them, and after weeks of Maggie not being much interested in anyone else, she suddenly peered across the breakfast table at Sarah.

"When was the last time that you went home for the weekend?" she asked – almost accusingly.

Sarah shrugged her shoulders as she bit into a slice of toast.

She chewed slowly and swallowed before answering.

"Not for a few weekends now – I guess." She shrugged again dismissively.

"Well I think you should go this weekend ... tomorrow!" Maggie declared decisively.

Sarah looked at her friend searchingly. "You know why I haven't left you alone Mag's."

Maggie smiled a little. "Yes I do – and I really appreciate it ... but I think we could both do with a little ... space!"

And so, despite any misgivings Sarah may have been harbouring, she found herself standing on the platform waiting for her train, having wished her friend goodbye not five minutes ago.

The train for once was on time, and Sarah entered the empty carriage, with such a sense of nostalgia, that it brought a tear to her eyes.

She sat down and waited patiently for the train to begin its journey, and five minutes later she was rewarded by the all too familiar lurch.

It didn't take long for it to pick up speed, and it seemed to Sarah that she was going to have the carriage all to herself for her journey home.

She sat staring sightlessly out of the window as the train continued its motion, and when the door to her compartment suddenly opened, she didn't even bother to turn to look, because for a moment she was filled with the almost overwhelming hope – that it was Sam.

To turn around and find it wasn't him – would just destroy that hope, and at that moment Sarah just wasn't strong enough to cope with that loss, as well as all the others.

Someone came and sat across from her, and she caught the faint aroma of a familiar aftershave, and Sarah gulped back a tear, as she sensed the male presence.

Automatically she turned, and sucked in a breath, at the sight of the tall good looking man, with serious brown eyes sunken – from lack of sleep it seemed ... and thinner than she remembered; as though all the life and vitality had been sucked from him.