Chapter 9

The longer Penny and Cherie carried on their journey into Sappho the more Penny thought about Miriam Stern her college roommate. It was during their third year together when she looked across the breakfast table and laughed as she remembered Miriam saying, “Give him a blowjob Penny. Guys love girls giving head more than anything in the world.” Penny had been lamenting to Miriam, a wildly sexual girl, that she was struggling to maintain her virginity until she got married when the New Yorker gave her the answer to her struggles.

Penny Hargreaves grew up in a conservative Christian family in Kentucky. When the housing office told her that her roommate would be this liberal, abrasive, New York Jewess she couldn’t see how she’d be able to make it through her first term rooming with this irritating person. She told her parents that she was going to ask the administration to change her room. But her mother reminded her that she was a Christian: that Jesus accepted all people regardless of their differences. That it would be the mature thing to do to adapt to the situation and learn from it. Praying with Penny as she always did when making tough decisions her mother convinced her to stick it out for at least the rest of the quarter. “Accept it as a challenge sweetie.”

She had absolutely nothing in common with Miriam Stern, not even a week went by after classes started when the brash New Yorker had already gotten herself into trouble with most of the students in their dorm by taunting their “backward ways.” Penny got the feeling that the other girls in the dorm were blaming her for her roommate’s objectional behavior. Though she tried to defend herself from those girls Miriam made things more complicated by continuing to belittle Kentucky’s “small potatoes” traditions and Penny’s “backward” religious beliefs. Taking her mother’s advice to heart she found that by tuning in to Miriam’s complaints about growing up in her dysfunctional family she began to understand the girl’s rebellious attitude. When other girls in the dorm ganged up on her Penny used her mother’s words to defend Miriam more effectively. She reminded these “fundamental Christians” that Jesus was a Jew and accepted all people. Still, even in defending this difficult person, Penny found that many of the New Yorker’s views saddled her with a great deal of inner discomfort.

One of the biggest issues that she harped on was Penny’s vow to save her virginity for marriage. Miriam, a loose girl, told her that virginity was just an obstacle thrown in the way of experiencing life’s greatest pleasure. Every time Miriam went on a hot date she came back with a blow-by-blow description of its sexual progression. Initially, the Kentucky Christian was convinced this New York Jew was simply immoral. What was more distressing though was that each time Miriam filled her with the lurid details of her sexual exploits Penny became so aroused that usually masturbated before going to sleep. Before long she found herself living vicariously through Miriam. Though she continued resisting men’s advances she began living a fantasy that mirrored her roommate’s sexual revelations.

Finally realizing how serious Penny was about staying a virgin until she got married Miriam gave up on trying to convince her to experience the joys of total sex before she settled down. She knew that Penny necked and petted but wouldn’t let her boyfriend go further than copping a few feels. But after a few dates with John—the man she would eventually marry—when Penny expressed alarm to Miriam that he was getting pushy about wanting to “go all the way” Miriam simply said, “Give him a blowjob Penny. Guys love a girl giving head more than anything in the world. And when you suck their cocks and they come it cools them right off. So, if you go with a guy and don’t want to him fuck you—a word Penny had finally become accustomed to Miriam using—and you want to keep him on the string, give him a blowjob and get so good at it that he’ll be happy to leave it at that.”

“But if I do,” Penny said, “I won’t be a virgin anymore.”

“BULLSHIT Penny,” Miriam said. “Blowjobs don’t take away your virginity. You don’t lose your virginity until a dick goes inside your pussy and breaks your cherry if you haven’t already done that. You wouldn’t believe how many girls give head to protect their virginity; it’s just the smart thing to do if you mean what you say about keeping that ridiculous piece of skin intact.”

She prayed continually about the influence Miriam was having on her, finally realizing that she would get no answer from the Man upstairs she decided to play it the way the New Yorker was counseling her. When John insisted that she touch his cock she did it. Though she felt guilty that first time, she was thrilled to have his hard penis in her hand and looked forward to doing it again the next time they were together. On their next date, she pretended that he had convinced her to suck it. Though she was tentative about it, she found that she loved the feeling of his warm, hardness in her mouth. On their next date, she sucked him so eagerly that he quickly came into her mouth. Caught by surprise she was repulsed by the sudden presence of the icky goo and spit it out all over his cock.

When Miriam asked her why she spit it out Penny said, “It was DISGUSTING Miriam, I HATED it eww.”

“Disgusting?” Miriam said with a chuckle, “As far as men are concerned sweetie it’s the Holy Grail. It’s an acquired taste, give it a chance, I promise you that you’ll start liking It,” she added in her nasal, New York accent. “And here’s a word to the wise: if you let a guy come in your mouth, you’ll have no trouble keeping your virginity forever if you want to ... and know how to control it.”

Taking Miriam’s advice, she gradually fell in love with the feeling of John’s hard maleness in her mouth. And like her roommate advised she soon found that she liked the taste of his warm, creamy sperm, all the while keeping her hymen intact.

As Miriam kept relating exciting stories about her sexual adventures Penny became so absorbed with her roommate’s raw sexuality that she found that she was becoming jealous that her roommate was having so much fun. She had no clue that Miriam, who had other things in mind, was leading her in a more intimate direction of her own.

Penny had been masturbating since puberty. But the satisfaction she was getting from it had become less and less satisfying. Like most college men her boyfriend John had no clue of the existence of her clitoris. For him, sex was all about sucking and fucking. It was his conception that a woman got the most satisfaction from sex by having a hard cock in her pussy. Miriam explained to Penny that the pleasure that she was getting from sex was from older guys (mostly men professors) who knew what a woman’s sexual makeup was about. “It’s more than just a hard dick going inside you Penny,” she said with a dreamy look on her face, “It’s as much about the foreplay, the afterglow, and milking the interludes. Fucking’s just the icing on the cake.”

“Under my circumstances,” Penny asked, “Is there any way I can experience more pleasure?”

Miriam said, “It’s up to the guys to push your button, Penny. You can guide me if you want to.” When Penny gave her a blank stare she said, “Some of the older guys know the purpose of a clitoris, along with the sensitive first two inches of my vagina. But if they, don’t I have to tell some of these dumb shits where the damned thing’s located.” Penny rolled her eyes and gave her a disapproving frown. HEY, Penny, I like to come when I have sex. Under your circumstances where the guy is just putting his finger inside you, you must let him know about your button and how much pleasure it gives you, most of the time you must tell him how to rub it and keep rubbing it ‘til you cum.”

Something that made her especially uncomfortable was her roommate’s viewpoint on incestual sex. Miriam confessed that though her father had never done anything with her she always fantasized about “getting it on” with him. Though Penny acted shocked at Miriam’s admission she was torn by the guilty feelings she had toward her father, something which she didn’t fully understand ... something she had many talks with God about.

“It’s immoral,” Penny said, “It’s Wicked. It’s EVIL.”

Miriam replied, “These fundamentalist preachers have done an excellent job brainwashing you baby.”

Penny answered, “It says in the BIBLE Miriam that it’s WRONG.”

“Bible, schmible,” Miriam twanged, “I’ve read the same stuff as you ... been taught about all the prophets long before J.C. did his thing. That’s where we Jews got off the boat. I loved the story about Lot and his daughters though after they left Sodom (quoting her version of it). When Lot and his wife and two teenage daughters left Sodom, he was told that if any of them looked back they would be turned into a pillar of salt. His wife, dumb shit that she was, looked back and became a permanent block of NaCl. His daughters though, because they were isolated from any population that might have survived, decided that they would get their father drunk and ‘lie’ with him as the Torah terms it. They coaxed dear old dad into fucking them, got pregnant from their laying ways, and started the world all over again. Mythology is great, isn’t it?”

The subject of incest became a constant area of dispute between the roommates. It was the same with so many things that Miriam championed, always taking strong, liberal positions. Eventually, Penny softened some of her conservative views. And when her mother died of cancer it was because of Miriam’s constant persuasion that made it easier for her to do something that shocked her. When she told Miriam about what she had done after the funeral Miriam was shocked too in a humorous kind of way.

It happened in her senior year just before Christmas. Penny was twenty-one at the time. Her mother who had been struggling with cancer finally succumbed to the disease. After the funeral, she came home with her dad to a quiet and empty house. With a blank look on his face, her daddy sat down in his chair. Hoping in some way to ease his pain she sat down in his lap, just as she had when she was a little girl. Putting her arm around her father she laid her head against him. He began to cry. She kissed his forehead. As tears spilled from her father’s puffy eyes she gazed at him, awash in the sea of his grief. Leaning down she kissed his lips. His response was as passionate as it was unexpected.

A very sexual man her father returned the kiss so passionately that her ears buzzed as sensations drilled through her breasts, her stomach, and her clitoris. It was a kiss with the kind of passion that Penny didn’t even understand. The incredible sensations in that kiss obliterated any sense of surprise she should have felt when his hand deftly cupped her breast and began fondling it, it felt so natural. She recalled times when she marveled at these sensations when she had kissed boys her age, then how they became more intense as she matriculated to college. When the cupping tenderness of her father’s hand morphed into a soft manipulation then a progressively harder, pressing rotation she was surprised by the glowing orgasm that it triggered. It was the first time she had come with breast play. In that one moment, all the memories she recalled of her desire for her daddy made complete sense. His actions were simply normal between a man and a woman who loved each other very much. What began as a comforting daughter expressing compassion for her anguished father suddenly turned into primal, animal lust.

This chair is not the place for this, her neck was getting stiff. Not even knowing where the idea came from, she got off her father’s lap, took his hand, and coaxed him out of the chair. It was an unconscious act when she led him back to her bedroom. It just seemed like a natural place to go. Instinct told her not to take him to his and her mother’s bedroom where the grief would only intensify. As she led her now childlike father into her room, she recalled masturbating in her bed while she fantasized about him. Now it was necessary to satisfy both of their urges in her bed where her fingers had done what she knew her father would do before the evening was out. Sitting on the edge of the mattress she patted it, inviting her bereft “Daddy” to sit beside her. Snuggling against him she gently rubbed his thigh and murmured, “Lie back Daddy and let your baby girl take care of you.” Laying back he spread his arms like a man preparing to be crucified. Removing his tie his daughter unbuttoned his shirt. She opened it and pecked kisses him from his neck to his chest.

A tiny sob caught in his throat as he said, “Oh Penny, I love you so much.”

Undoing his belt, she unbuttoned his pants and zipped down his fly. Her fingers wrapped his plumping cock that was pulsing its way to an erection. With his hardening member in her hand, she moved the wrinkled skin of his penis up and back over his hardening shaft, becoming stiff as it ironed out the wrinkles. Eyeing his erect penis, it appealed to her in a way she would never have expected. How many times had she done the same to John’s penis while successfully keeping him from fucking her? Miriam’s words echoed in her mind, “Guys love a girl giving head more than anything in the world. And when you suck their cocks and they come it cools them right off.” In the throes of familial grief, a daughter found herself bending down to take her father’s penis into her mouth.

When her dad realized what she was going to do he made a meager attempt to push her head away. “NO Penny,” he said, “this is just NOT right.” Forcefully holding back his arm she angled his erection and took his bulbous head into her mouth. Not realizing how much having his cock in his daughter’s mouth would excite her father Penny was surprised when he urged, “Stop Penny, I’m going to COME!” Ignoring his warning she kept bobbing; pleased that her daddy was gentleman enough to not want to cum in her mouth if he thought she didn’t welcome it. John had surprised her that first time by uncaringly popping it in her mouth without so much as a warning. That’s my daddy she thought, always the gentleman.

As his warm load settled deep into her throat she thought, strange, it’s like the first time he took me to have a milkshake. Amused she thought but it was WARM, remembering the cold, sweet mixture she sucked through the straw. If her dad were anything like John, he would ejaculate at least two more times. Still bobbing she lapped the underside of his glans wildly as he forced two more shots and surprised her with a fourth, equally strong spurt before flexing the muscles in his penis and around his prostate, squeezing the last drop on the back of her tongue. Ass his body went limp she snuggled with him on the bed, kissing his lips while stroking his hair and whispering, “I love you, Daddy, I love you.”

After her father fell into deep slumber she lay with him, basking in the warmth of his body. She remembered the many over the years when he had snuggled her in this way to sleep as a child. The memory of guilt she had processed whenever she fantasized about sex with her daddy nipped at the edges of her mind. It was because she had always thought her daddy was above shabby behavior. After having discovered the deck of cards with pornographic pictures on them in his desk drawer she realized that her daddy was not a perfect human being. What’s more, seeing those pictures influenced her sexual feelings toward him from that time on. Not only did her fantasies expand to the pictures on the cards, but the guilt she had previously felt about the fantasies had also gradually disappeared. The pornographic images on the cards gave her more avenues in which to fantasize. Now though, while the nobility of what she had done to help ease her father’s grief at his mother’s passing; she was picturing herself with her father’s substantial penis plugged into her vagina. True to her convictions though, she was still a committed virgin. Though she ached for it, there was no way that she was going to encourage her father to penetrate her with his penis. Instead, she took his limp cock in her mouth again. Not even awakening him she sucked him to full erection again then bobbed continually until he exploded in her mouth with a series of three spurts while still asleep. When she felt her father’s cock stiffening in advance of another orgasm, she joined the thrill by fingering her clitoris to climax.

When the sexual excitement eased, she pillowed her head on her daddy’s tummy and allowed herself to release the feelings she had repressed earlier in the day and pensively allowed feelings of grief to help soothe the pain of her mother’s passing.

The family had always been important to her yet there seemed that there was something about her parent’s relationship that was mysteriously secretive. It was like the secret included her in a way that she tried to understand. What was it about Daddy’s cock in my mouth that seemed like Déjà vu? In her mind, the comfort of his erect penis in her mouth seemed too familiar to dismiss. At the same time, as she savored the aftertaste of his ejaculate she thought, this seems almost as perfect as it can be. Finally putting his flaccid penis back inside his pants, she zipped him up, found a blanket to lay over him, and covered his sleeping body. Before closing the door, she looked at her sleeping father and hoped that by going down on him she might somehow have helped ease the pain of losing his wife and best friend.

As Penny told Miriam about the experience with her father her eyes welled with tears. No longer having a mother with whom to pray about such things with she felt like she had betrayed her deceased mom by tempting her father to have sex with her. When she began sobbing Miriam took her in her arms, held her tight, and rocked her, giving her roommate the kind of solace only a female could give.