Chapter 11

1965 would be the happiest, most eventful Christmas at the Hargreaves residence in years. Paul’s wife Polly died in 1961. Penny graduated college in June 1962 and was married a week later. Paul married Alice Wilcox in October of the same year. Alice had lost her husband the year before. The Hargreaves, the Wilcox, and the Cosgroves were friends since college and had swung together since the War. But after a misunderstanding dropped Aggie and Corwin Cosgrove from the group the joy of Christmas lost its luster. The two couples continued swapping until Polly Hargreaves and Fred Wilcox became ill and passed away. Because Penny and John and Cherie and Gary had inadvertently stumbled across Aggie’s house in Chesapeake, Aggie had called, reestablished old ties, and would be coming for the Christmas holidays as well.

Paul said, “It could be the first time we’ve had so many swingers here in years.”

“And maybe it will be the first time you can go to bed with your daughter for more than just a blowjob.”

Though the Hargreaves had met Gary and Cherie before until Aggie called a couple of weeks ago they knew nothing of their daughter’s and her husband’s involvement in swinging with the Holbrooks. With this knowledge, they hoped a new kind of spice would be added to the coming holiday.

Aggie told the Hargreaves about her plans to sell the duplex and told them that since the young people were there the night before she was considering a way that they could move in and take over the place. The Hargreaves floated the idea that Aggie returns to Kentucky and moves in with them... “whether you find another spouse or not.” They wanted to reestablish the relationship and enjoy sex with each other the way they used to.

In discussing the duplex Paul suggested that since Aggie and Corwin built the place to serve as a swinger’s nest for the Musketeers it would be wonderful if there was any way the three of them could help the young couples find a way to buy it. Alice laughed as she said, “Maybe they can invite us down for a wild party or two.”

After hanging up the phone Alice said, “I envy Aggie’s fling with John. From the first time I met him, I’ve always had more than a little lust in my heart for that young man.”

When Aggie told them that it was Penny’s idea for John to come over and be with her the day after they spent the night, Alice said, “She’s certainly Polly’s daughter Paul, isn’t she?”

“Yes, she is Alice,” Paul said. “And if she’s her mother’s daughter, I’ll bet she’ll be in bed with Aggie before Christmas.”

Alice thought back to how Polly Hargreaves initiated her in a bi-sexual tryst and made her an active and eager member of the Musketeers. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re right about that Paul. And though it took Aggie a while to get comfortable with bi-sexuality Polly soon had her eating out of the palm of her hand.”

Paul said with a chuckle, “More like eating her out between her legs.”

Laughing at the comment Alice thought for a bit, cocked her head, and asked, “How is it Paul that you never had sex with Penny?” For the reason of Penny’s questionable inseminator, all the Musketeers had understood she purposely didn’t say, “Your daughter.”

Before Corwin and Fred went overseas Alice, Aggie and Polly had been desperate to get pregnant. They wanted to have their husband’s child of course but not being sure that their husband would impregnate them they opted for marathon rounds of sex with all three men before Fred and Corwin left. Alice was the only one that got pregnant. When the son was born the child showed a remarkable similarity to Paul Hargreaves. Neither Aggie nor Polly got pregnant during that time.

Immediately after the war, the Musketeers met in San Francisco. Taking a suite at the Fairmont Hotel where they engaged in a weekend of wild sex. Nine months later Penny was born to Polly. As she grew though she developed several of Corwin Cosgrove’s characteristics. So, the group always referred to Penny Hargreaves and Jack Wilcox by name and never used the term “your daughter” or “your son” among the group.

When Alice asked Paul why he never had copulated with Penny she added, “It wasn’t as if it would have been incest.”

Paul confessed to Aggie and Alice on the phone that Penny had given him numerous BJs: on the night of Polly’s funeral and often after that. “Like I told you and Aggie, I did have sex with her, we just didn’t fuck.”

“But that was only oral sex, Paulie. I was talking about the whole thing.”

“It was just oral sex, Alice.”

He told her about coming home after Polly’s funeral. “While Penny was consoling me, she went down on me. I was SHOCKED. At the same time, I wasn’t about to stop her; I wasn’t up to resisting anything that night. After that, it just became a mutual need for each of us. We even slept together quite a bit when she came home from college, never discussed it, but we never fucked.”

“And just how do you explain that you didn’t Paulie?”

“I started to put it in once Alice, but she teared up and told me that she wanted to be a virgin when she got married. So I respected that.”

“How do you feel about it now?”

“I never regretted not doing it if that is what you mean. But I always wished that I could have. And I always hoped I would have the opportunity in some distant future. Had I known she was swinging I’m sure I would have suggested it?”

“So,” Alice said, “now that you know that she’s a swinger what do you think you’ll do?”

“Since we talked with Aggie I’ve been dreaming about it.” Kissing his wife and caressing her breasts he said, “You’ll be able to work out your lust for John. And I’ll be able to get into Penny’s pants in the way I’ve always wanted to.”

John and Penny

Because of Christmas Eve services, they got a late start, not getting out of church until after 8:30. By the time they said their Merry Christmases and goodbyes it was after 9:00. The roads were clear so they would have no trouble making it to Frankfort by midnight. Though they never had trouble with conversation the need to talk about what lay ahead of them in Lexington with Paul, Alice, John, and Cherie of course Aggie.

They talked a lot about the possibility of moving across the river to Aggie’s duplex in Chesapeake, Ohio. While their arrangement of living in two different apartments had been working fin Huntington for them for the past two years it was becoming inconvenient. Since John and Penny had the same neighbors during that time, they couldn’t be sure whether they were suspicious about their activities with the Holbrooks, or if they might be talking to others about them. Though Huntington was a city of eighty thousand, it was still small enough to see someone you knew every day. A duplex, particularly a place on the other side of the river would suit them much better. The fact that Aggie’s duplex with two adjoining master bedrooms was built for their lifestyle it was more than they could have hoped for.

To Penny, even though it seemed like a dream, all the events that led up to what they were experiencing made it surreal. She was beginning to think that their life was charmed, that what would happen with Aggie’s duplex was foreordained. To be sure that her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her she called Aggie after church the Sunday after their first meeting, the day after John went over to retrieve his watch.

Aggie, who had just gotten home from church herself, was thrilled that Penny called her. Polly, Penny’s deceased mother, had been as close as a sister. Polly was the one who lured her and Alice into becoming “Musketeers” in 1942. When Penny called, Aggie asked her to come over for tea.

When Aggie answered the door the two women warmly hugged. Penny reminded her so much of Polly that she couldn’t stop from patting her bottom the way she had patted Polly’s. Polly would have been the aggressor. She usually cupped Aggie’s ass and pulled her abdomen against hers.

Though Aggie had finally become bi-sexual she hadn’t taken to it as easily as Alice Wilcox had. Hoping that Penny would take to her—an older woman—Aggie had a strong yearning to kiss Polly’s daughter and begin a new relationship if she could. What she had no way of knowing was that Penny was already a member of the tribe. She had been tutored by her college roommate from New York, Miriam Stern, with whom she had weekly trysts while at school. Then, after the swinging began with the Holbrooks Penny introduced Cherie to the sisterhood.

The way that Aggie had accepted the couples on that Friday night and the fact that she had been so easily bedded by John on Saturday wetted the younger woman’s appetite to know her completely. Ever since John came home raving about how energetic and exciting Aggie was in bed, Penny was eager to find carnal knowledge of her. She wanted to gain a better understanding of her mother and father. And she was interested in experiencing one of the persons behind the closet door of this Chesapeake duplex when she was ten years old. She wanted to find out if Aggie was as passionate about bisexuality as she was.

Both women were still wearing church clothes. Aggie made some finger sandwiches and served tea. Both were nervous about being naked with each other for the first time.

It’s funny, Aggie thought, with John it was just like climbing on a new bicycle. His showing up on her doorstep was a surprise; what happened next was as if it were foreordained. But the real reason for her nervousness with Penny was something entirely different. It was something that she wouldn’t even bring up unless Penny pressed her about it. It was an unspoken secret—two really—one of which she lived with easily, the other a point of shame.

Throughout their tea, the conversation flowed freely. Both women talked about how they grew up. Both had strong religious upbringings and were still devoted to their faiths. They both laughed at how, because of their “lascivious” lifestyles they led two lives. Neither felt guilty about it but Aggie capsulated it when she said, “The Lord knows. I’m not cheating on Him.”

“As far as your husband is concerned,” she went on, “You knew about why he was coming over and gave him your blessing. So, he wasn’t cheating on you. Nor was I. But I had an uncomfortable feeling about it.” Taking a sip of tea, she continued, “But you have to admit, Penny, the kind of life we live is a bit strange don’t you think?”

Penny giggled and said with a wink, “I do. But it’s so exciting.”

Both were quiet for a while. Both had questions they wanted to ask but were hesitant to proceed. Penny had been asking them in her mind for years. Driving by Aggie’s place on that Friday night was Déjà vu, I’ve been there before! She could no longer hold back. “; I’ve dreamed about you since I was a child, Aggie.”

Straight-faced Aggie wondered what Penny could remember of that weekend when she was ten.

“I’ve seen your face in my dreams and have heard your voice. But I can only remember meeting you that weekend when I was ten when I was here in your duplex.”

Aggie nodded her head at the mystified woman’s statement. And she knew the time had come to discuss things she would have preferred to leave unsaid. Determining that she would let Penny direct the conversation she would answer every question that Penny asked. But I’m not going to volunteer ANYTHING.

Penny suspected that her past held secrets that she might be afraid to know. When Aggie said nothing in reply, she followed a different path. “I knew Uncle Fred and Aunt Alice, Aggie. But I can only remember hearing about you and Uncle Corwin; I always thought it was Uncle Corn.”

Aggie nodded.

“When I saw those ... um ... pictures of the six of you, the sex pictures, I was shocked. I was in college at the time but when I was here at the age of I was ten, I couldn’t understand what was going on.”

Aggie just kept nodding.

“Uncle Fred and Aunt Alice were quite familiar to me but other than the weekend we were here I never saw you and Uncle Corn again. Why do you think that might be Aggie?”

Holding a tense smile as if ready to explode Aggie said nothing.

“And I know the pictures I saw on Daddy’s desk were taken after that. But I never remember you being at our home in Frankfort.”

Aggie shrugged her shoulders.

“What doesn’t make any sense to me at all Aggie is that John and I have lived in Huntington for almost three years. Yet you ... and Uncle Corn lived just across the river, and I didn’t even know it. Daddy didn’t tell me nor did Alice after they got married. And you never even called to say Hi or anything.”

As she nibbled on her lower lip moisture had gathered in the corners of Aggie’s eyes.

“For goodness’s sake, Aggie is there something WRONG with me? Or have I DONE something wrong?”

Folding her arms Aggie leaned her head over the table. She took a couple of breaths and then looked up with tears in her eyes. “You told me that you remembered the noise in the next room when you were here that weekend. And you told me that you ended up in bed in another room with your mother and father, right?”

Penny nodded her head.

“But you don’t know WHY you ended up in that room, do you?”

“I thought I had a bad dream and Mommy, took me to sleep with her and Daddy.”

Penny was confused when Aggie dropped her head in her arms and began sobbing. After a few minutes, Aggie pulled herself together, blew her nose, wiped her eyes, and began:

“There are things that people, particularly a woman; particularly a wife and mother never want to have to tell. When Corwin and Fred got back from the Pacific War Fred confided to Paul that Corwin had been cavorting with underage prostitutes. By the time I heard about it, Corwin said that his mind had been warped because of the war. I was devastated, of course, knowing my husband had done those things. But he said he was over it and had left it behind him.

As you can see Penny I am a tiny person. Corwin was a large man. During our marriage as our sex continued, he began calling me ‘baby,’ ‘kid’ and ‘little girl.’ At first, I just thought it was a harmless kink. Eventually, I began to realize that he was fantasizing that I was a little girl.

You were born Penny just nine months after we all went to San Francisco to celebrate Fred and Corwin’s return. We were at the Fairmont Hotel, partying wildly just like we did before they left.” Aggie’s became a mask of dread as she turned crimson. As you began to grow Penny, Corwin developed an obsession with you.

That night you were here, and we were all in the other room, on the other side of the closet, we all had a lot to drink. Paul, Polly, Alice, Fred, and I fell asleep on mine and Corwin’s bed. It was about 1:30 when I woke up. I heard your faint cries. Corwin was not in bed with us.”

Aggie stifled a sob. It hit me like a violent wind Penny. Corwin was in your room with YOU.

Getting got a sense of what was coming Penny asked, “Did he...”

“No,” Aggie interrupted her, “Thankfully no. I barged through the closet and into your room. With my pillow in my hand, I beat Corwin as hard as I could with it until feathers started flying. You got up and ran out of the room and into the other room and woke up your parents. Your mother ran back into the room with you in her arms, followed by your father. He hovered over the bed and started beating on Corwin with his fists.”

“But,” Penny said, “You said nothing happened.”

“That’s right sweetie, nothing did happen. But everyone was convinced that Crown was on the verge of ... He was just snuggling with you at the time. You were just frightened that a man you were not familiar with was in bed with you. All of us were convinced though that had I not heard you crying...”

“You think he would have...?”

“At the time there was no question in our minds. But we couldn’t take the chance.”

“What happened after that?”

With her elbows on the table, her hands cupping her chin, Aggie sighed. “That’s why you never saw me since hon. As it turned out Corwin was sick; at least I was convinced that he was. I thought I was doing the right thing when I had him committed to the veterans’ hospital up the river where he underwent shock treatments.

After a couple of months, he was as good as new. But the Cosgroves had been drummed out of the Musketeers. Nobody wanted to even take the chance that something like what happened that night might happen again. I understood it, but Corwin? He was devastated. It eventually killed him.” She shook with a sob and then buried her face in her hands. “I think I killed him, Penny.”

Penny, a compassionate person by nature, who took on other people’s grief, broke down. But there was more to it. Some might call it Women’s Intuition. But she had a deeper reason for thinking that way or at least she thought. What happened to Corwin Cosgrove impacted her more than she thought it would. Maybe if I hadn’t cried Uncle Corwin would still be alive. When she pulled herself together, she braced up and asked Aggie, “Is there something else I should know, something people have been hiding from me?”

It was a defensive comment when Aggie said, “Why do you ask child?” It was as if she were pleading with the umpire to review the call and change it.”

Penny recognized Aggie’s discomfort. It was the feeling she couldn’t understand like she sometimes got when her mother looked at her in an appraising way, or when her father would stare at her absently, not even realizing that he was appraising her, merely shaking his head ever so slightly. Her Aunt Alice and Uncle Fred were in on it too. They would often look back and forth between her and Paul Hargreaves, kind of shaking their heads in some secret sort of evaluation. She always wanted to ask, “What are you LOOKING at? Or what are you THINKING?” But she could never summon the courage.

“I was in Mom and Daddy’s room once Aggie. There was a picture of all six of you when you were young. I was looking at Mom and Daddy’s pictures. I could see how much I looked like Mom. But with Daddy, I couldn’t see any resemblance at all. I looked at each couple’s picture in the composite and then looked at myself in the mirror. It shocked me when I recognized that Uncle Corn looked like he could be my brother, or even...” She didn’t complete the thought.

“Well,” Aggie started to rationalize.

Penny cut her off. “I know what you’re going to say, Aggie. Mom and Daddy said the same thing ... that children often look nothing like their parents and can often resemble friends or even strangers. But it was the way they said it, looking at each other like they were trying to convince both me and them of something that wasn’t true.” Rapping her closed hand on the table, she asked, “Was Corwin Cosgrove, my real father?”

For Aggie, It was like a punch in the gut. The secret they’d all kept for almost a quarter of a century was finally apparent to the person that mattered most. Polly and Paul had accepted it long ago. There was no choice in the matter. All six of them had acted irresponsibly and had to accept the consequences. For Aggie, who never got pregnant, there were periods of jealousy that would revisit her now and then. But she always knew it would never change.

There was another misalignment in the Musketeers. Fred and Alice had two children, a son, and a daughter. Though Kevin, the son, was Fred’s without question, the whole group speculated that Coleen Wilcox was Paul Hargreaves’s daughter.

In the scheme of the group, the Hargreaves and Wilcox were producers. The Cosgroves were not. Without children, they chose not to adopt. Corwin accepted it but never got over it. Penny was a precocious, darling child that strummed every adult’s heartstrings. He longed to be with her to be able to dandle her on his knee, to tuck her in and read bedtime stories to her. It never happened of course. After all that, the most insulting and damaging injustice happened that night in the duplex.

Under the influence of alcohol when the other swingers were asleep, Corwin sneaked into the ten-year-old Penny’s room and climbed into bed with her. “He had no intention of molesting you. He was just snuggling with the daughter he could only love from afar. But when you woke up you were frightened by the unfamiliar man who was lying beside you ... The outcome? He was branded a molester by his friends and committed to a mental hospital by me, his wife. After the shock treatments, he was never the same. He lost his will to live.”

Tired of living with the lie for so long Aggie hadn’t wanted to talk about it but was feeling like the burden was becoming lighter. For the first time in the three-couple relationship, she could finally come clean with the person it mattered most to, Penny.

She told her how they started their swinging relationship and how badly the women wanted to get pregnant, and how foolish they were in having unprotected sex. “And the irony is, that I never got pregnant. Of the three women, I was the only one who was barren.”

Processing a myriad of conflicting feelings Penny, reached across and patted Aggie’s arm, wondering what Aggie would be advising her next.

“So Penny, you and your friends had better think carefully about what the consequences could be if you don’t conduct yourself properly and make plans. I don’t mean slipshod plans. There are always unintended consequences, so you must keep asking, what if.”