Chapter 36

The minister was thoughtful for some time before speaking,

"Yours is a very unusual arrangement and with you and Katy taking the steps you have outlined you are obviously seeking to give Alice the same status as she would have if you had married her. What I would like to know is why you have decided on this."

"Before I could tell you that I would need to have Alice give her permission. That is not a stumbling block if you don't mind her being with us while we talk about it. In fact if you want to discuss this with us then perhaps all three of us should be present."

"I have no objection to that, indeed I would be most interested to hear what all of you have to say on the subject."

I called Katy and Alice through and ask them to take a seat at the kitchen table and explained that I had told the Reverend about the nature of our arrangement and I had given that as the reason why we had not asked him to perform the ceremony for my marriage to Katy. I also explained to them that he wanted to know why we wished to enter into such an arrangement. I felt I could not tell him anything without consulting Alice before going into all the details. As a result I felt it would be best if all of us participated in the discussion.

"I would first want to know why we need to have the discussion. We have explained to the Reverend John the situation we are in and what we want to do and indeed are in the process of doing it. I would also assure him we have given this a great deal of thought and we are not going to be persuaded to do otherwise. I don't mean this in any nasty way. I just don't want to get into an argument about it," Katy said.

John smiled at her. "I am not offended that you want to make your position clear Katy, nor am I going to try and argue against you doing it. If that is a decision on which all of you are agreed, and I don't doubt that you have, then you have every right to pursue it. I was merely trying to understand why you felt it necessary to form such an unusual union."

"If we are going to give you our reasons, I would need to be sure Alice has no objection to talking about her sexual needs. If she doesn't want to do that, then we could give some of the reasons but not all of them," I declared."

"I am what I am," Alice said. "I did not choose to be this way and I don't know why I am this way, but I accept that I am. If we are talking in confidence here, then I am willing to discuss these matters. I have every faith that John is the kind of person who will honour that trust."

"Are you telling me Alice that your sexual needs vary from the norm and that you are willing to talk about them with me present?"

"Yes I am. I know from the three year relationship I had with my one and only boyfriend that there are two things that make me sexually different from others. You see I am a submissive and being dominated really turns me on. When you add to this the fact that I am also what some people would call a pain slut, this means I need to be very careful in any future choice of boyfriend because I could so easily find myself in an abusive relationship. My last boyfriend I loved and he met my needs but he was offered a swimming scholarship in America, and wanted me to go with him. I refused because I did not want to leave my mum because she needed me and he chose the scholarship over me."

"Alice was devastated by this," I told him and she confided in me. I was the one who pointed out to her the need to be very careful about any future partner she might choose. Since that time she has leaned quite heavily on Katy and me for support. This was certainly true in the difficult first few months after the breakup. Then as you know, sadly and rather ironically in the light of her decision, her mother died adding to grief to the pain she had been going through. This led to all of us, including Joe and Isa, deciding to make her a part of our family, a thing which has drawn us even closer."

"In France," Katy said talking up the story, "She said she was going to leave our house and go into digs and would not tell me why. But I knew about her submissive nature and took advantage of it to make her tell me."

"I was going to leave because I had fallen in love with Peter. I also loved Katy and the last thing I wanted to do was come between her and Peter. I knew I could not bear to live in the same house as both of them when I felt as I did so I thought the only thing I could do was leave," Alice explained

"I sought to comfort her and took her in my arms and we hugged and kissed then one thing led to another and we ended up making love." Katy informed him. "From that point on things developed until we have reached the stage we are at today."

"I came back from a long cycle run to be greeted with this situation and since I already cared deeply about Alice and had shared many of her secrets, I agreed to their proposal that we should work out a relationship that satisfied all three of us. Now you know how this came about and you know the solution we have arrived at. So far we have encountered personal problems with it and are determined to proceed with our arrangements."

"My brother is Gay." John told us. "As you said Alice, he is what he is and did not choose to be like that. So I understand that many people can vary in their sexual needs. Indeed I once came across a little pamphlet published years ago by the Pastoral Association which was entitled, 'One Man's Sex is Another Man's Perversion' or as is also the case here it could just as easily refer to a woman's situation. Our society and a lot of other societies tend to have a one size should fit all attitude to sex and unfortunately as we have discovered it doesn't."

"I think you have just put your finger on our difficulty. We are proceeding with something to which a majority of people will never give their approval," I said

"That is the nub of my problem too but I have already had to face up to it because of my brother. This has led me to take a liberal stance towards those who are gay and who wish to enter into a gay marriage. It also means I am sympathetic to your situation. However, I cannot go against the law, and I have to guard against being seen to be a libertine, and giving that kind of ammunition to my enemies. That is the kind of attack they would make on me to undermine my stance supporting gay people from within the church. Still, that does not mean that I cannot do something to help you if you wish it."

"What do you mean by that?" Katy asked.

"I can agree to conduct your wedding Katy if you wish. Then quietly and without fanfare once you have all your arrangement in place I could come to your home and conduct a service of blessing on your arrangement with Alice. I am sure we could discuss a form of service that would meet your needs since you would have a hand in shaping it."

"Why would you want to do that?" Alice asked. "It is bound to come out eventually that we are all living together and then you would be pounced upon."

"Only if we let people know about it. I was thinking of a very private ceremony attended only by a very few people whom you trust. As to why, I sense that you are three people who care deeply about each other and that you do love each other. Furthermore, in love you are prepared to make sacrifices for each other's happiness. You see I take seriously the words of the Apostle John when he said, 'God is love', and then adds, "where ever love is, there God is also. If you are in a loving relationship, then I believe God wants to be in it as well."

I think we were all amazed at the Reverend John's attitude. He was right about one thing, we had wanted some kind of service in which we could pledge our love and commitment to each other and I had promised to explore it. This sincere and caring man was giving us the chance to do just that. To my surprise, Katy spoke up before I could give an answer.

"We are grateful for your offer John and for the loving reasons that lie behind it. But even with the secrecy you desire, there is still a great risk that at sometime in the future it will embroil you in controversy and weaken your influence on the gay marriage issue. Despite this, I am not going to turn down your offer. I am going to make a counter proposal and I think the others will agree with it.

In many countries, it is necessary to have a civil ceremony of marriage and then have it blessed if you are religious. I think that is that is what we should do. We would be deeply indebted to you if you came to bless our commitment to each other. I think that would attract less attention and be a more defensible arrangement if your opponents ever got wind of it since they were not privy to the nature of the blessing and they would know that you did not agree to marry us."

"Ah!" John said with a smile, "A caring young lady who is trying to be as wise as a serpent and as harmless as a dove."

We all laughed at that comment before John went on, "I will bow to your wishes. I sense that the service you have in mind would mean just as much as any wedding service and I will visit you again when you are ready to discuss it. Do give some thought to its nature though and let me have your ideas and they will form the basis of our future discussions on it."

We thanked him for his thoughtfulness and kindness and reminded him that we were serious about our offer to let him use our pool whenever he found the time. He agreed he would take us up on that and asked us to get in touch when we were ready to proceed with the second service.

"Wow! Said Alice once John had departed, "That was a very unexpected surprise. We will need to think about the nature of the service as he said. I am sure we will be able to come with something in good taste."