Chapter 26

Back at school we settled down to work for our exams and kept up our training for the swimming team. We had three meets scheduled for January and early February. We won two and lost one. The one we lost was to John's school team and there we received some sad news, John and Alice had broken up. When I got some time alone with him, I asked him why? He was a year ahead of Katy and I though I was in their age group but had repeated a yhear owing to my accident. Therefore he and Alice were about to sit their higher grade exams and then go on to University.

It turned out that he had been offered a full swimming scholarship to Stanford University which was a really prestigious American University and he had accepted despite previously agreeing with Alice that they would both go to the same Scottish university. When he broke the news to Alice she was really upset and though with her grades she might have applied for academic scholarship at the same University, she refused point blank. She had a widowed mother who was bi – polar and she was not prepared to go abroad and leave her without her support.

While being cut up about the break up John seemed to have put it behind him and his focus was on getting the grades he needed to assure his scholarship. On the way home Katy was more concerned about how Alice was taking this. She had seemed very besotted with John and Katy felt she would be suffering much more than he seemed to be. She told me that she was going to get in touch with Alice and see how she was.

In mid February we had an unusually balmy spell of good weather for Scotland at that time of year with temperatures actually touching the low sixties. This was almost unheard of. Looking ahead we saw that the next few days, including the Saturday was to be more of the same, so we saw the gang at school on the Thursday and decided we could have a pool party. Everyone accepted; Isa, Margaret and Moira said they would provide the eats while Bill and Joe would run the barbeque.

On the Thursday evening, Katie was off at Ellie's place and I was studying on my own when I got a phone call. It was Katy who asked me if I had invited John to the pool party. I told her that I had not really thought about doing that and asked why she wanted to know. She told me that she had invited Alice to meet with her and Ellie at Ellie's mum's that evening. She said Alice was pretty upset about her break up with John and wanted to invite her if I was not inviting him. Hearing this I told her to go ahead and invite Alice

On Saturday the party had been in full swing for some time when we were called from the pool to eat what had been prepared for us by the barbeque brigade. I was pretty hungry since I had not eaten much at breakfast. Because of this I did not feel like returning immediately to the games in the pool. The others had picked sides and decided on a game of water polo in which everyone including Joe, Isa, Bill, Margaret, and Moira all joined in. This left Alice, who was not a great swimmer, alone with me in the conservatory which overlooked the pool.

I asked her if she would like another coffee and she agreed. When I came back and sat across from her to drink our coffee, she looked at me for a minute or two and then said,

"Peter, since we are alone, could I talk to you about my break up with John?"

I was surprised at this but I told her I was certainly willing to listen to what she had to say but wondered why she wanted to speak to me and not one of the girls.

"I have spoken to them, but I feel I need to speak to you because you are male and also you seem so mature for your age even though you are just the same age as me," She told me.

"Then feel free to tell speak to me about whatever you want," I told her with an encouraging smile, "though I am not sure how much help I will be to you."

She then poured out her story concerning her relationship with John. She said that she had loved and trusted him and that early on in their relationship he had discovered that she had a submissive streak and that mild pain turned her on. John had become aware of this and he had explored her needs, without ever abusing her or taking her where she did not want to go. I thought sometimes when we were alone as two couples that you seemed surprised how much I doted on John and fussed over him. She went on to say that she knew that men consider her to be a beautiful and it might seem surprising to them that she could be so meek and submissive with John.

She said that it was in her nature to be like that, especially with someone she loved, and that she had loved John because he seemed to be just what she needed and she knew she was lucky that he was understanding and accepting giving her what she required and never going beyond that. She then spoke about the break up saying that perhaps John thought that because she was as she was, she would automatically go with him and fall in with his wishes in the matter of which university they should go to.

If it hadn't been for her mother, she went on, she might have done. But she loved her mother and appreciated how hard it had been for her as a lone parent with her condition to keep on working at a stressful job to allow Alice to make full use of her brilliant mind. Sometimes her mother had to be given sick leave for quite prolonged spells and even be hospitalised for short periods when she was really depressed, she had told me. Because of this Alice felt she could not do what John wanted as her mother might need her support, especially as she got older.

It seemed that John, however, had been blown away be the offer from Stanford and decided that he wanted that more than he wanted her. She felt that maybe he felt the burden of her submissive nature and the need to protect her from others who might have taken advantage of her could also have been weighing on him and he decided to cut himself free. By this time she was in tears and wondered why it was he thought more about the opportunity presented to him than he did of his relationship with her.

I was surprised by her revelation to me about her submissiveness and deeply moved by her plight. I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her, but knew this would be a wrong move and might give out a message that I did not intend. I did reach over and taker her hands in mine.

"Alice I am really surprised by what you have told men and truly sorry about the pain and confusion you must be feeling right now. I am not sure what to say to you about John's decision to break up with you." I said. He was probably as conflicted in his decision making process as you were. On one side was a great opportunity to come out of his education debt free and perhaps even as an Olympic swimmer. This competed with his love for you as your mother's plight did with your love for him. I really don't think your submissiveness was a factor in this.

"So you think it was the money side of things that really swayed him" She asked. "Could he not have seen that with both of us earning and with the kind of job I might have been able to get that we could soon have paid off any loans we needed? I still think maybe I was too much of a burden for him.

Still holding her hands in mine I looked into her eyes and said,

"Alice, you are a very beautiful and highly intelligent young woman and you would just have to set your sights on a guy and in most cases he would be yours for the taking. If your submissiveness had come into the equation then I can only say what I would feel about that. It would have been a burden for me. It would have been a burden, however, which would have weighed on your side."

"What do you mean by that?" She wanted to know.

"It would have been a burden because it would make me consider what would happen to you if I broke up with you. As a submissive you have to be very careful what kind of guy you take up with." I said to her. "A lot of men would be just as likely to abuse you and use you solely for their pleasure and take you far beyond your comfort zone. That would weigh heavily on me as I would fear for you in that kind of relationship. At least John treated you with respect while you were with him."

"Oh God I hadn't even thought about things like that," she said fearfully.

"Look I am not trying to scare you," I said, "All I am saying is make sure you know the guy before you commit to another relationship. If you do get into a bad one then remember I am your friend and I will step in to help you. Don't be a victim. You know I can handle myself in most situations, Alice I promise I would get you out of it."

I could see I had really made her think about the dangers she could find herself in and I hoped she really did know that I would be there for her. I was relieved when her brain kicked in and she promised me that if she needed help to break away in the kind of situation she would come to me. She thanked me for listening to her and for being the kind of friend I was.