Chapter 3

By three in the afternoon Hannah had pretty much cried herself out.

Realizing that her sons should have been home by now, Hannah raced upstairs to get dressed. She had been sitting naked in her home all day. At some point the bodywash and shampoo had dried onto her body.

Jumping into the shower she started crying again and couldn't seem to stop herself. As she cried so pitifully in a hiccupping manner, she tried hard to scrub herself clean. But no matter what she did she still felt dirty. She eventually stopped and quickly dried off.

Once finished she was then sitting in the living room dressed in a sleeveless white cotton blouse and blue jeans. She knew that David liked this blouse on her because of its deep plunging cleavage and tightly cinched waist. She also knew he liked these jeans on her. They weren't the standard "mom" jeans some mothers wore.

At 5:30 she was nervous because not only did the boys not come home, but David wasn't in from work. She watched out the window but they didn't get off the bus to go to the neighbor's house like they were supposed to have done she thought.

Did she have it wrong? Did David get the boys earlier and take them somewhere?

Hannah normally got home well after David so she had no idea what their normal schedule was.

Grabbing her iPhone Hannah quickly looked up David's cell number.

As she pulled up his number, the smiling picture that she used for his contact picture smiled warmly at her. Starting to cry again, Hannah tried desperately to hold her phone to her head with trembling hands. She had to use both of hands to accomplish the feat.

The phone connected and for a moment there was nothing but silence.

Then Hannah heard a gruff " ... yeah?"

Hannah would know that voice anywhere.

"David ... honey ... where are you?" asked Hannah softly

"It's the boys day for little league. My company sponsors their league. Remember?" asked David with an accusatory voice.

"Oh yeah ... I forgot. I uh ... I ... uh ... when are you coming home? Are you coming home for dinner?" asked Hannah softly.

"Don't you have somewhere else you need to be? Why aren't you asking Regina about your plans for the evening? She seems to have more influence over your actions than anyone else you personally know ever did," said David in a snide tone.

"Honey... please. I'm sorry. I ... I really am," said Hannah softly into her phone.

"Just what are you sorry for? I mean there is just so much that you ... you know what? I don't even care anymore. Hannah ... did you need anything else?" asked David gruffly.

"No ... not really David. But David ... David I love you. I love you more than my own life," said Hannah softly as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Yeah..." said David and then he hung up.

Crying hard again Hannah realized that David didn't answer her question about dinner.

Now that she thought about it, Hannah was sure that after practice David always mentioned something about taking the kids out for treats no matter if they won or not. He might not have told her where they were going tonight to keep her from joining them.

Did that mean she already was no longer part of his life? Did that mean he had moved on and no longer wanted her? Did that mean it was already too late for them? But she hadn't done anything! She was innocent of all the charges! She hadn't cheated on him!

But as she thought about it she realized that at the very outside she was guilty of ignoring her family to have a good time. But should she lose her family for that small selfish mistake? A mistake someone exploited to make look like she was abusing her husband's trust?

Hannah sat quietly in the living room until everyone came home. It had long since grown dark but she couldn't make herself turn on the lights.

At the sound of the excited voices she looked expectantly towards the door as it opened. Everyone was talking about Donnie making the games solo homerun. At that Hannah felt a stab of guilt. Her son had a big night and she wasn't there to see it. She hadn't even known and had previously made plans to go out later with Regina.

What other moments had she been missing she wondered?

But when the Chris turned on the light to the living room he jumped a mile as he caught his breath. No one expected her to be sitting quietly in the living room in the dark.

"Hey guys, how was the game?" asked Hannah quietly as everyone came to a stop and stared at her.

She tried to smile, but she was dying on the inside.

Donnie and Chris looked at her with a mixture of shock and surprise. David looked her with barely hidden scorn and disgust.

How has she missed that? How had she missed how her family looked at her lately?

Looking back, Hannah now realized that David had been giving her that look for months. But she thought it was because he was upset about losing at trying to make her stay home. Now she realized because he thought she was sleeping around on him.

"Have you guys eaten? Are you hungry?" asked Hannah as she gave them all a timid smile.

Since no one answered her earlier question she tried a different one.

"We're good, we ate already Mom," said Chris as he gave his Dad and brother a strange look.

"Boys go up and get your baths and then get out your homework. You were able to get some of it done at the park, but I still need to check it," said David.

"I can help. What subjects did they not get finished," said Hannah softly.

Again everyone stared at her in surprise.

"I have I really been that hard to live with lately?" thought Hannah as her insides went cold

"Sure Mom. We're working on using MS Office in school and I just need to show how to build a formula from the examples I was given in Excel. I finished everything else," said Chris looking at his mother with uncertainty.

"I'm good Mom. Dad already helped me," said Donnie as he turned and headed up the stairs without looking back.

Soon it was only Hannah and David.

David was watching the boys go up the stairs and Hannah was watching David.

Once he heard one of them start the bathtub he seemed to relax, until he turned and saw Hannah watching him. Hannah could see him tense up like a coiled spring as he turned and walked for the kitchen.

Hannah followed him and watched as he got a glass out of the cabinet and went to the refrigerator and got some Apple juice out. She waited until David filled his glass and put the container back before she approached him.

"David can we talk? I mean ... really talk?" asked Hannah softly as she tried to touch his arm.

She was hurt when she saw David jerk his arm out of her reach and spilled the juice from his glass on his shirt.

"NO! I've been trying to talk to you for months, and now I believe we've said all that needs to be said. I'm tired of arguing with you. And now it no longer matters," said David as he pulled his shirt over his head and started for the laundry with it.

Hannah felt her breath catch as he did that and she watched his form as he headed into the garage.

How could she go so long without his touch? Why didn't she seek him out instead of waiting for him to come to her first? Why did she let herself get to the point of drinking so much that she no longer remembered the last time she had felt his touch?

She started after him, but she heard him lock the door behind himself and then a soft "thump" as his back hit the door. Hannah desperately wanted his touch right now, but David locked himself away from her to prevent that.

Hannah waited for him to come back, but he never did. She thought about going outside and then coming back into the garage via the garage door, but Chris came down and waited for her at the family PC to finish his homework. Of the two boys Chris was the only one who shared her deep interest of computers and all they could do.

Regina also showed up at nine to pick Hannah up, but Hannah went out and told her that she didn't feel good and was going to stay home tonight. Regina acted worried and said she would call later to check on her.

Waiting up until eleven she realized that David was going to stay in the garage as long as she was hanging around downstairs in the house. She just had to find a way to make David understand, but she had no way currently to prove her innocence.

Going up to bed Hannah lay on top of the covers and softly cried until she fell asleep.

About two in the morning a nightmare woke her up and she reached for David's side of the bed to grab him. Grabbing empty air she realized that he wasn't there. Then why he wasn't next to her came to her and she started to cry again.

Getting up she went downstairs and saw David sprawled out on the couch. Normally the couch wasn't big enough for two so she couldn't lie next to him. Hannah didn't want to wake David and take a chance on him running again.

Lying on the floor, Hannah lay down next to her husband on the floor in front of the couch and soon fell asleep.

It was the most peaceful she had been in a long time.

Hannah came awake with a start. She was now on the couch and was covered by a blanket.

She realized at some point David had picked her up and put her on the couch. Looking around she saw that everyone had already left and she was all alone.