Chapter 7: The Courtship of Phillipa Goddard; 29th December 1987

It was just a little after 11 am when I rang her door bell.

She opened the front door immediately. "I was thinking you wouldn't turn up." She was flushed and agitated, "it would have been all my fault, I shouldn't have badgered you over those bloody silly names." I handed her the book I had bought at W H Smith's on the way over to her house.

"I stopped to get this." It was a paper back copy of ' Death to the French'

She gazed at me for a few seconds then threw her arms around my neck and hugged me. We stayed like that for a moment.

"You better let me in, your neighbours will be throwing a bucket of water over us else!"

I could see that she was near to tears and wanted to get her to laugh. I succeeded and we went into the kitchen, her laughter filling the room with beautiful sound.

We sat at the same table as the day before, with papers spread over it ready for more of her notes. She put the book I had brought her on top of the papers and said "I suppose I should read this before asking you any more questions?"

I looked at her "Before anything else I need to talk to you about my wife, I want everything to be clear between us." I cleared my throat, "I don't think I'm being presumptuous when I say that I think you fancy me, a little?" She nodded slightly, keeping her eyes on mine. "I fancy you, a lot" I admitted "but if, and once again I might be making assumptions I have no right to make, there is to be any sort of a relationship between us I swear that it will be at your pace and at your discretion."

Pippa was still gazing at me, I couldn't tell if she was glad sorry, angry or pleased, but as she hadn't yet told me to sod off I kept going, albeit haltingly, and sweating like a pig with embarrassment and apprehension. I told her all about Miriam, how some times our marriage life is fine and then how it changes for no apparent reason. How I had tried to make a go of the marriage, and how now we had this 'understanding' between us and lived practically separate lives. It took some time but at last I ground to a halt.

All that could be heard in the room was the ticking of the kitchen clock as I waited for Pippa to say or do something. She got up and put the kettle on!

She sat down after filling the kettle and as it boiled she talked. "It's true I was attracted to you the first time I saw you, not that you noticed me, only having eyes for Emma. I went for second best and asked Wurzel to take me home, but he refused, in a very gentlemanly way so that I wasn't made to feel cheap or unloved." She blushed as she continued. "I got home and used my vibrator and thought of you. I am attracted to you but I don't know if I could deal with another failed relationship, there have been several since leaving prison," she fiddled with the table cloth, "although relationship is a bit of a misnomer as they were only a series of one night stands."

The kettle boiled and she got up and made the tea. Still standing at the cooker she went on, "I enjoy your company, you make me laugh, and I haven't done much of that in the last 3 years, and not much before that either if I'm completely honest." She gave me that little gamin grin as she said, "Emma said you were special and you are, but perhaps not only in the way that Emma meant." She poured two mugs of tea and brought them over to the table. I thought it time for me to chip in again.

"Pippa, you're an attractive and wonderful woman. Wurzel must have been daft to let you go home alone. I love being in your company, I love hearing you laugh and seeing you smile. If that's all you can give me then I am happy with that. I'll help with your thesis, no strings attached."

She came around the table and hugged me. "You are special. I'm not a prick teaser and when it's right for me we will have that relationship you want. I just hope you don't get fed up waiting and go off with someone else." The radio had been playing softly in the background, Radio 2 I think, when suddenly Roy Orbison came on, singing "It's too soon to know"