Chapter 9

As Pardin measured the arc for his arrow, he couldn't keep his mind from wandering to talking wolves and guardian trolls. Adray hated trolls. Wolves couldn't talk. Yet the mother sheep and her young were munching the cold-resistant plants anchored in the cracks of the rock face just as the wolf leader had said.

Pardin shot the further lamb, loading his bow again instead of following its tumble. The sister ran upwards with great aerobatics while the mother turned left towards Pardin. His second arrow struck the mother's hindquarters and she tumbled. Cursing his poor aim, he drew his long knife and chased after the falling sheep. The number of aggravations for the day had exceeded an unwritten allotment.

By the time he had put the mother out of her misery and gutted her, the wolf pack had already claimed the yearling. Pardin had been hoping to harvest the lambskin but the wolves were tearing into the carcass. They didn't deign to acknowledge his kill or his presence.

He slogged down the mountain.

Coming into view of the cabin, he couldn't fail to notice the golden onion that was rising higher than his chimney. The structure looked a bit gaudy and ostentatious in his view but he had already resolved to keep his mouth shut. These lumbering beings were his guardians for the time being.

He had done some thinking while coming down the mountain. If the wolf was telling the truth, then his troubles were coming from the human lands and not from the tunnel. The only human troubles he knew were those he had already run away from at the end of summer. Winter should keep the two-legged predators at bay. In the meantime, he needed to learn how to kill his betters.

Two fairies buzzed him and one alighted on his shoulder. Pardin didn't recognize her.

"Did the big, strong human slay a dangerous animal with big, big horns for our dinner?" she said.

"Laying it on a bit thick aren't you," Pardin said. In his short time among the fairies he had learned a few things. "What do you want?"

"I'm Shirdee," she said. "I understand that you have a private business arrangement with Fuster and I want in on the deal."

"Take it up with Fuster," Pardin said. "You don't have anything I want."

"How about 101 positions guaranteed to drive an elf crazy?" Shirdee said.

"Of all the possibilities in the world, you couldn't have made a worse offer," Pardin said with a grimace. "How about you leave me alone and I'll let you stay the night before you return from whence you came. Annoy me again, Shirdee, and you will sleep with the trolls."

"You just like her big tits," Shirdee said.

"She is six inches tall. What in the name of the gods am I, the six foot human, going to do with 1/2 inch titties," Pardin said. "Now get back to the cabin and get me some frickin' help from Adray. This carcass is heavy."

Shirdee gave his a sniff of her upturned nose and flew off towards the house. Pardin decided to rest where he stood and to wait for help. He had a wolf pack above him that made his anxious. He had two trolls of which he couldn't decide whether he should rejoice or cry at their presence. With a wife who wanted to fuck morning, noon, and night because of the magic and maybe not because of him, a fairy who was probably addicted to his spent cock, and a new fairy who wanted to muscle in on the goblin go-go juice, Pardin's head was spinning. Oh, the human conscript gangs were still on his trail. Pardin needed a drink and the ale was no where near fermented. He sat.

Deep in the bowels of self-pity, Pardin didn't hear the footsteps come near. A touch on his shoulder made him almost jump out of his boots. His new wife was smiling down at his face with amusement.

"You are sad because you missed me?" Adray said. She had her hip cocked to one side with her hand resting on it. Her crotch was right at his eye level as well. Pardin knew damn well that she had positioned herself deliberately and also that he had little resistance.

"I..." Pardin said even though it came out as "AYE."

"Does someone need a hand?" Adray said, rubbing her index finger across his cheek and down his jaw only to come across his lips. When his tongue slipped out of his mouth and hung on his lip salivating, she laughed. "We take the mutton to the trolls, give you a bath and maybe we can play 'hide the muffin' before dinner. Would you like that?"

"I, aye, I," Pardin managed before he gave up trying. The magic was tingling again despite his best efforts to contain it.

As they reclined on the bear skin rug after a lazy bout of dunking doughnuts, as Adray liked to call sex at tea time, Pardin watched the fairies fly to and fro around the room.

"I was accosted by a new fairy today," he said. "Her name was Shirdee."

"Ah, Shirdee Lite is an up and coming name in the fairy world," Adray said. "I'm a bit surprised that she joined us here on the frontier."

"She wants a cut of the action between us and Fuster," Pardin said. "I sent her back to you."

Adray rolled on top of Pardin and pinned his shoulders to the ground. "Shirdee wants what?" Adray was snarling. "If that little fairy cunt thinks she can just step in and take control, then she has got another thing coming."

Adray looked up to the rafters, "Fuster, get you ass down here a.s.a.p. and bring Shirdee with you."

When Adray asked Shirdee what she had proposed to her human and Fuster heard the answer, Fuster let out a war cry. In an instant Fuster had her hands around Shirdee's neck. Their wings were beating furiously as they fought.

"Royal bitch rumble, royal bitch rumble," Keister yelled at the top of his lungs. "Five coppers on Big Tits. Who's in?"

"I'm in," Adray said, "Five on Shitty."

"That's Shirdee," one of the fairies said but Adray waved her off.

Pardin sat up as the two fairies tussled in mid-air across the cabin. The bets were flying around him as the fairies gathered on any nearby surface they could find that had a good view. He had three fairies on his shoulders.

The two fighting fairies were taking wild shots at each other at first, barely connecting with their wild punches and their kicks. Shirdee tried an aerial maneuver in attempt to get behind Fuster and got a heel in her ear for the effort. Next they rushed to the ceiling attempting to top the other and then broke to weave among the rafters, throwing small items at each other like missiles. When these acrobatics failed, Fuster slammed her body into Shirdee's in the middle of the room.